(I finished the edit on this blog post as the Rose Bowl started… Go Ducks)
Happy New Year!!!! FYI I already had Happy New Year sex! I am committed to this Sex Love and Washing Clothes thing…at least the sex part.
Last night ( actually this morning at 12:00 AM) we lit and as we watched Chinese Lanterns fly up in the air we made wishes and dreams for 2015. The Boy wished to win the Championship game in football this year. Another little boy wished for a gun. Us adults kept our wishes kind of quiet. I did not have a specific dream. One dream, for me, is to never stop dreaming. To keep the dream’s and wishes coming. Maybe I don’t state them because I think am too old to wish for things, maybe because I have come to realize that if I ask for it usually I will get it, and what I don’t get is too extreme to ask for anyway. My husband has always spoiled me like that. So my dreams become more abstract and less defined. We lit lanterns last year too and to tell the truth, my dream, my wish was about the same and you know what, my dream came true. It was a dream of happiness, less fighting with the Hubs, more kindness, it took the WHOLE year, but yes, it came true.
In 2014, we have had struggles, we have been in dark times this year. There was a few times we both had said we were done! And we meant it, in that moment. Most of those times, actually all, were followed by reconsiderations and apologies and the promises of I will do better. So we did better, usually started out with a good round of make up sex, we loved each other and through it all we realized we have more good than we have bad stuff. This year, we went to the Gottman Institute and in that room full of couples struggling, many who I don’t know if they even liked each other, we realized we really are good friends. The getting to know you questions and exercises, to remind/inform couples what it means to be friends, we already knew the answers we live those things daily. Each exercise grew us and reaffirmed to us that our love is a bond that does and will hold us together. We have more good stuff than bad stuff, we enjoy each other’s company and would rather be together than apart. We have done everything together this year. I went on a work trip with him, he sacrificed and came on the dance cruise (not such a sacrifice but really he would have rather just gone on a cruise but we went with dance). He did take a vacation with the boys, a much needed vacation! For the most part, we would choose each other on any day. We miss each other when we are not together. So many couples would not. We needed that reminder that we got at The Gotttman Institute.
My dream that I sent up in the lantern last New Years Eve came true. In the midst of “divorce” fights, as our counselor calls them, it came true. We are happier than we were on Jan 1, 2014. I sit here with tears in my eyes of pride and happiness and relief, we made it through the worst year of our marriage. As I told the Hubs about this post I couldn’t hold back the tears of joy and sob, in happiness of course. (I hate to label that but really, I think the Hubs would agree). In 2014 Sex dwindled probably because of our hard times. Which is part of the why of Sex Love and Washing Clothes! So I would bet the Hubs would dream for more sex, so I will be making that dream come true for him in 2015. We can’t sit back and just dream, we need to move in the direction of our dreams! So a dream today for me is to enjoy my family be happy and in the moment and to have sex everyday and clean organized home (washing clothes) and enjoy my life (love). I started it off by having Good Morning/Happy New Year sex this AM and folding a load of laundry and we are spending the day with friends who are basically family. So far I am moving in the direction of my dream of Sex Love and Washing Clothes!
On a lighter note I am feeling today might be the first two a day of the year! #Everyday2015