It is Super Bowl Blue Friday! It is the day before the day before The Super Bowl! My kids are decked out in their Blue Friday garb and we in the family are all in! I am so excited! I am also nervous but the nerves are getting overtaken with excitement. Which makes me scared! All the games I am nervous at we win.
It’s time for the grind to payoff for the Seahawks. For me it’s time to grind too. Does anyone else do this on Fridays, you feel like it is time to grind out and clean the house. (Not that it ever gets done though.) I want to get in a get it spotless so that the Hubs can come home and be relaxed walking into a nice clean house, pretty wife quiet kids playing happily together…oh wait, I think that is an episode of Leave It To Beaver… But really I do want that to happen. Unfortunately I didn’t get the house wife gene. I didn’t get the drive to get up and clean, I got the drive to write about how inadequate I feel because I didn’t get that gene. I got the gene to create fun and cute homemade and hand decorated cakes for birthdays and parties. I got the gene that says Fridays are for putting your feet up and going to lunch with your girlfriends. Basically got the gene that most of the time looks like sounds like and smells like procrastination. I am not proud of that but I do think that even with my procrastination gene I am a valuable member of this family and have a lot to contribute to this world. But I feel like it makes me less of a good mom, less of a good wife and not a role model worthy of writing a blog about Sex Love and Washing Clothes.
With that being said, I do write a blog titled Sex Love and Washing Clothes. I don’t know how to write code or how to even get followers of my blog other than posting on Facebook and other social media outlets that my current real life friends read and laugh at and I am sure some have unfriended me and don’t follow because I use words like Fuck It and talk about having sex with my husband as a way to make up for my inadequacies when it comes to house cleaning and procrastinating! I also write about having sex with my husband because it is fun. Maybe I write so that jaws will drop and the innocent straight laced good girl you once knew has sex and likes it, a lot! And we all know how mundane house keeping can be. With kids from the time when they are in diapers to preteens/tweens (what is the proper word for 9 and 10 now I am just too old to know) each milestone comes with a celebration and a harsh reality that it is a new challenge. Some milestones/stages are more time consuming, labor intensive and less expensive (actually nothing is less expensive things keep getting more expensive) but they are all challenging and we moms will always wonder if we are making the right decision.
Yesterday I shared a photo on Facebook (follow my Facebook page Sex Love and Washing Clothes) was a triangle on each point was one thing: Sanity, Happy kids, Clean House…you probably could say Happy family instead of kids. But it seems true and even sometimes it seems like there is only one option. A mom runs the family and, at least in this family, if I am stressed out that stresses out everyone else. If Hubs is stressed out it stresses me out but I feel like I have to hold it together for him because I do. I think, he has much more reasons to be stressed. After all he is the provider. If anything happened that made it so he couldn’t provide he must think about that “what the fuck would my family do if I got hurt or lost my job?” That has got to be a load on his mind, so for me the stress of the kids not being able to go to the cool kids sleepover is not that big of a deal in the “big picture” but being the mom your heart hurts for your kids and you try to do both. Help the hubs and let the kids have their thing and clean your house and stay sane. But in reality, again….you or them cannot have it all!!!! That reality is a hard one to swallow.
Do you ever feel like you must choose who to make happy? That is a harsh way to say it, please don’t get offended by this folks. And don’t give me the you always have to take your kids side. Strong well grounded adults are grown from kids who don’t always get there way and who realize there are sacrifices to be made in life. You cannot always fix things with ice cream and cookies. Sometimes you just have to be sad! Those are the days I choose to drink my water in a pretty wine glass! Even though I would love to fix my sadness with wine or chocolate (see yesterdays post about that) Sometimes I just have to decide somethings gotta give. Everyone has to make those decisions!
How did Super Bowl Blue Friday post digress to this! Here’s my correlation, Russell Wilson is a Super Bowl winning Quarter Back in his 3rd year in the league. Many of the players from that winning team last year went late in the draft or were not selected in the draft, even Marshawn Lynch was rejected (sort of) from Buffalo they didn’t want him and many people criticized the Seahawks for getting him with his broken leg injury and all. These players had to make sacrifices. It may be easy for all of us normal people, living paycheck to paycheck watching our fun money go to dance classes and sports cleats instead of weekends away with our lovers, to say that it is easy for them to make these sacrifices but bottom line is….they still have to make them. Many of these players spend their whole lives on the VMAC Campus. Watching Films, working out practicing. They sacrifice their family time, their lives for football, a game. Yes their jobs but it is still sacrifice the same way The Hubs sacrifices his time and his life for providing for this family, coaching athletics for The Boy and paying for the Girl (and me) to do dance. It is a choice that I know my husband is proud of, it is not glamorous but one day (he may not know it yet) he will look back and be proud that he did it. Only the toughest get to the Super Bowl. The Seahawks have put in the work. They have not seen their families as much as they could have. I bet many have decided to not start families or have an agreement with their family that time together will come after football. My point is we all have choices to make right now in the thick of it, grinding out every week it may suck but that win, which for us looks much less glamorous . It may be graduation day or may be watching our kids hoist the Lombardi trophy or maybe a less known trophy even a 2nd place Trophy, or get a scholarship or a big Little League win. That is when it will be worth it!
So keep grinding folks. We have Super Bowl moments everyday. I can’t tell you how proud I am of my son when he gets a first down, or even just gets to touch the ball, and of my husband when his team “Does it” Whatever “it” may be. Sometimes the win is the First Down, depending on the team and the players. Truth is we don’t coach a lot of Superbowl winners at the Pee Wee level but we celebrate their greatness. I sit here with tears in eyes of pride of how my husband in his first football season wrangled a group of 6-7 year olds their first season of tackle football and they actually knew the game! He not only taught those kids how to play and trust each-other he had to teach the parents how to trust him and that came in him doing what he does and trusting himself. The kids knew their roles on the football field he had faith in those kids. He sacrificed his golf night (as he has ever since) and his guy time playing pool with the boys. I probably shouldn’t say this and I may get in trouble but I can tell that lately those sacrifices are wearing on him but what does he do….he goes out every season and does it again. I know one day he will sit back and be able to see his grind paid off and those were his Superbowl winning moments. He will not sit back and say “man I miss those golf nights, too bad” as much as he will be proud of the kids he has molded (both ours and those he coaches). He will remember big plays, but mostly I hope he remembers those moments of first time he got guys on his team to see their full potential. I know he will watch with pride as kids he coached first get their letters of acceptance or even sign commitments to colleges and some will scholarship and maybe just maybe he will see one of his athletes make it big! But that is not why he does it. He loves it and is incapable of not teaching these kids to reach their full potential by always doing their best, he does that by he himself putting 100% plus some into it. I am sure it is just like many of the Seahawks, Russell Wilson, Richard Sherman, Earl Thomas and Marshawn Lynch, to name a few, they don’t know how not to do their best and put 100% plus some into everything they commit to! So, he will get up and go to work early so he can come home early enough work with the Boy getting ready for try outs, yes he will complain, but he will do it and that makes him a good dad and a good coach.
I will stop taking it personal and I will let him bitch, just like he lets me bitch about not being able to eat as much chocolate as I want. I need a way to learn to communicate that I understand him. Today, I will go clean this house so that he doesn’t come home to chaos (well in the form of clutter scattered around the house Chaos is my middle name I think). He has said to me that coming home to a clean house helps to feel less chaotic. I know it is not my responsibility to manage my husbands or anyone else’s emotions, but as a mom and wife I am sure you understand how we take all this on, maybe you can’t that is just me. I choose to sacrifice my brain function to focus on this messiness and then I get to play (Super Bowl Cake decorating tonight). I will go make my sacrifice today, then later…..maybe a little mini vacation in the bedroom (since a real one is kind of out of the question right now) which will be much nicer to set the mood with less clutter! I am going to take a moment to take care of my husband as I know he is needing it. I appreciate all he does for this family and i know he appreciates my. Dear Hubs, I love you! You have done so much for me and that allows me to be the kind of wife I am for you. You have said I am the best thing that has happened to you and I want you to know I can only be as good as I am because I have you right behind me helping me and supporting me though! I love you with all my heart and I pray that you don’t get upset at me for exposing you here today! I am so proud of all you do and I am happy you are on my team!!! ~Love Me.