OMG!!! I posted then, lost my post when I came into the Blogger app to edit a typo! Fuck!!! Which means my final draft that was so awesome, is not the same F!…I need to learn how to sync these things better…. Here it goes again…
Happy Thursday! I have a head ache today! Ugh! Yesterday I was in a foul mood today it’s a head ache, I am struggling with my weight loss goals, can I complain anymore? I did have a great date night last night! During the day, I text the hubs about how crappy I was feeling. I gave him the proverbial heads up that I was in a foul mood, I couldn’t get my shit together and I was feeling bad about it. He gave me the much needed moral support I was needing! I still am in a mood today but today I have a better overall aspect on life. That is why I have the Hubs, to pick me up when I am down!
I am trying not to be down on myself and to get as much done as possible and be productive everyday! I want my house to be spotless all the time, but we live here and I take moments to enjoy my family. The Hubs and I do a date night once a week, I hang at practices for a few extra minutes and go to all of the games and performances that I can. I also take time to sit next to the Hubs in the evening so we get some connection and/or together time. So I have the time from when the Hubs leaves for work and when the kids go to school to get my house work done. I try not to “work” when the Hubs is home, however, sometimes it’s a decision of leaving a mess or working while the Hubs is home I do both depending on the day. He enjoys that I take time to spend with him. He also is okay with me being determined to get the house together as well. He does prefer me to work while he works but also knows that when it counts the stuff will get done! I am getting there. My house is cleaner than ever even though it is not spotless. Is anyone’s house spotless all the time? I always feel like there is a trade off. Either you are frantically cleaning all the time or there is always a but of a mess.
We live here and we live with each other. There is not one person here that is always working. We all out in work and we all deserve down time too. Yes, we are busy and sometimes the dishes are in the sink for a couple days because of that. I choose to spend time with the Hubs instead of obsessing about cleaning all the time. I figure, as long as the counter tops are usable, dishes are clean when you put food on them and everyone has clean underwear (even if it means getting it out of the dryer) and everyone is enjoying life and each other, then my job is well done. My grandma may argue that I need to do more or that it is unacceptable to leave clothes in the laundry overnight, but she doesn’t live here and I know what matters. People matter, family matter, love matters, enjoying moments with each other everyday matters! Those clothes will get done even if it has to wait until tomorrow. One day the kids will enjoy that I took time with them instead of stressing about laundry every second of every day!
The Hubs is proud of me. I hear that he brags to our friends about how I do take care of the family and the house. Even though he does sometimes think I could be more efficient (he is right) but in the long run when he steps back he is proud of me. He likes that I have balance to work when it needs to be done, I can knock out power cleaning when I need to, if I want to. I think it means a lot to him to know that I will take time to enjoy him even when the house is a disaster, as long as we have a room that is clean that we don’t have to look right at the mess we’re good, he appreciates that too.
I am working on balance. This week I have not been super good at it, my house is not spotless, I have a head ache and am tired this week, but I am trying to accept myself and be loving to me and get as much done as possible but also enjoy the family and accept that I cannot do it all and when I make a decision that results in things not getting done I am going to accept it and not beat myself up. I am working on accepting me and loving me and loving my family through it.
I need to work on writing lists to keep me on task. I also need to work on eating well as that affects my motivation and drive and mood and I can tell that my tiredness is being caused by poor food choices. I have a lot to work on but mainely I need to work on accepting and being okay with myself today and this week. How are you doing? Are you taking care of your family? Your House? Most importantly are you taking care of you? The latter is the most important! If you are not loving you don’t expect anyone else to! Yesterday I was not loving myself too much. I sent that text to the Hubs and he made it clear to me that he loves me no matter what and he is there to help and support me when I need it, I just have to reach out to him. Although when he is there for me it is important that I remember not to be too hard on myself. I believe you can block love from others if you are filled with too much self loathing. The Hubs came through for me with a date night and good attitude adjustment, love him. Glad he was in the mood to be there for me when I couldn’t shake myself out of that self loathing! Love yourself enough to allow those who love you to pick you up when you need it! Be open for love all the time someone will for sure come through for you! If no one does contact me I will give you pep talk! Choose to be happy!!!!