Happy Valentines Day!!! I hope you all get a chance to enjoy and love each other! Valentine’s Day is for lovers but also for families and people to have a reason to show love. What are you doing for your love today? What about for your kids, your mom, your friends? No, I am not suggesting you go out and buy a lame card or candy for everyone you love. Just think about a way to show your love to the ones you love.
I usually make Chocolate covered Strawberries or Cake or some sweet treat (and I wonder why I have a weight issue) I do show my love a lot in food. What love language is food? Acts of Service or Gifts? I usually make it and decorate and spend lots of time on a good meal and/or a pretty dessert. I think it might be a combination of Acts of Service and Gifts Given. What is your love language? Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time or Physical Touch? I am not an expert on Gary Chapman’s Love Languages, however it is an interesting phenomenon (disclaimer, I have read The Five Love Languages of Children, not the original book). I think that whole concept is interesting. I definitely show love to my husband (and everyone else) in my love language. I have a hard time figuring out what his love language is because I speak in mine. Not that I haven’t tried to figure him out. He is a Physical Touch, Quality Time, Acts of Service type. I am a words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, Quality Time and Physical Touch type depending on the day… see, it is so clear why wouldn’t I just speak love in my husband’s language.
It’s because I am me. I speak in my language not that I don’t try to learn and know him and his language. Point being….Love languages are great. I believe that everyone has a special love language and that it is important to be aware of and a good thing to learn. I have tried and will continue to work on it but there is no magical answer for being in a relationship. My husband may think he is doing great letting me know I am loved and then I drop a ball saying you never say nice things (he does but I don’t hear it sometimes)!!! See, if I am a Words of Affirmation type and he is showing me love with Physical Touch we are not speaking the same language and what he has done for me doesn’t speak the same as what he wants it to. And the opposite is true when I do things of love for him that he may not recognize! For Example, I make great meals and slave away trying to cook and show my love and all he wants is for me to be naked waiting for him on the couch. IN cases like this all we want is to be noticed that we are trying and to be loved! If we both step back and realize what the others love language is, instead of waiting for them to show us the way we want to be shown love, look for them to show love in their natural way it would bridge a massive gap in most relationships!
If you can see what your partners love language is, don’t expect them to change for you, look for them to show you in their love language, appreciate it, even if it’s not your love language. If you appreciate and give them the acknowledgement that you know they are trying maybe they will try to go out of their comfort zone and speak in your language. But that is not the easiest for them, try not to be too hard on your love. I guarantee they currently showing you love in their very own love language, you just have to open your eyes to see. The same way you show them love in your language but if you go that extra mile to show them love in their language…You have reached your pot of gold, there will be much rewards for you … hubba hubba.(Dirty minds there are other rewards to it too!)
Go show your love love today! Look for your love to show you in their love language and if they are speaking in your love language acknowledge that is mastery and don’t take it for granted! Enjoy it and work hard to love your spouse and to see your spouse loving you! It is happening, open your eyes, he loves you, you love him. Show it and go forth and love and be loved! Remember there are many ways to show love. The 5 love languages are Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, and Quality Time are all ways to show and express and speak love. Your lover and you can connect on all 5 levels, you should. There is one that stands out more for each individual but your lover and you may speak love in different ways. Instead of trying to change your lover to speak your way, just know there are many ways to express and show love. Look for those ways in your lover to show you their own way. You show love your way but try to make an effort to speak his/her language. If you are looking for it, you will find it, open up to your lovers way of being loved and they will open up to you!
This is sounding a lot like love advice (Boo that) and I am not sure I am making sense. What I am trying to say is learn your lovers love language so you can interpret their attempts to show you love. Not so that you can change to be what they want or so they will change to better fit you. Don’t make or expect your lover to change to better fit what you are, accept them for who they are. Don’t expect your lover to change for you. They will return the favor and accept you for you. The reason you fell in love is because of who each of you organically are. Love in your language and let them love in theirs! Enjoy Valentine’s Day lovers!