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Hello Friday! I just somehow deleted a whole post I had almost finished and was trying to highlight a sentence to delete and moved off the page somehow and lost my whole post!!!  Ah that was a waste of about 45 minutes! It’s probably better though because it was a bit of a negative ramble. I was rambling about my weight loss woes. Or should I say lack of weight loss.

I have been dieting or at least saying I am dieting forever! I have had some success and I don’t really know how. I lost a lot of weight on HcG. It was really nice! I felt so good while taking the hormone and I was never hungry, I was happy and felt in control. However it is not something you can stay on forever and the diet is not recommended for a long time. That is what gets me discouraged. Can I not follow a plan with out giving myself a shot every morning? I did loose like 10 pounds in January when I was doing no carb, dry January. I don’t know if that is sustainable for me either… I know that sounds like an excuse, But that is probably my best option!

I just want to eat and drink what I want. Or at least what I like even if it has to stay in the realm of healthy foods. I don’t really have a problem eating too much but really I know what not to eat, but most of the time my struggle is what to eat. So I end up not eating, which is just as detrimental. Especially after limiting calories etc for such a long time. My metabolism is all whacked out probably. Don’t we all want to eat what we want as much and whenever?

We have to fuel our bodies. Not our emotions, or boredom. Eat to live not live to eat. If you are a serial dieter (or lifestyle changer) you have heard this all. Don’t skip meals, carbs are bad, you need the right food combination, eat this not that…..diet soda is the answer then no diet soda is the plague… I could go on but I won’t!

Bottom line is we have to fuel our bodies. Not with artificial sweeteners or chemical laden foods that come from a factory! All the “diet” foods are mostly chemical shit storms! Eat real food. Foods natural to the planet, meat…yes! Veggies….yes!!! Fruits???? Of course. No Ice Cream, right??? NO! Eat Ice Cream….full fat ice cream the kind that has just a few ingredients milk and sugar come from this planet natually. You just have to eat less than you usually do. I think a “normal” portion of ice cream is a 1/2 cup, which is about one scoop-ish, I think, depending on who is filling it. We need to stop being so crazy with our food and diets! Eat healthy, mostly fruits veggies and meats that are lowly processed, without added chemicals, sugars or salts etc.

But the biggest thing we, OK maybe just I, need to learn is to love ourselves! Don’t accept being unhealthy but accept and love yourself! You can love yourself without loving your fat! I saw a news story this morning about Kelly Clarkson. A Reported (who’s name I refuse to say because she does not deserve the publicity) was talking really mean things about Kelly. Kelly Clarkson’s response was beautiful. She said “Oh, and she’s tweeted something nasty about me? That’s because she doesn’t know me. I’m awesome! It doesn’t bother me. It’s a free world. Say what you will.” Kelly was not wavered in her own self because of what people think about her weight Clarkson added, “I’ve just never cared what people think. It’s more if I’m happy and I’m confident and feeling good, that’s always been my thing. And more so now, since having a family — I don’t seek out any other acceptance.” Awesome

We need to take lessons from Kelly Clarkson here! We can be awesome even if we don’t get the approval of everyone. I believe we can work on ourselves and think we are awesome even when we want to improve ourselves. Accepting yourself does not mean you don’t try to improve. We don’t have to shame ourselves into a diet or out of one. You are beautiful, I am beautiful. Be healthy! Some of us will have muffin tops and thighs that touch and still be beautiful. Have a healthy relationship with yourself! Forget what the magazines say you should look like and forget the haters who call you fat or who pick at your every flaw. Don’t be a hater of yourself or even of your body or your flaws! Those, you are working on. Don’t give up on yourself, keep working but love yourself in the process. If you don’t love yourself you will never break out of the unhealthy cycle! Don’t seek out acceptance from others; first you must accept yourself! First you must love yourself enough to change for good!

Be awesome! Love you! Love your body! Focus on what you want out of your life not what you don’t want! You want to be healthy so make healthy choices! Don’t define yourself with a number! I will stop being down and sad because of the number on the scale on this Friday morning! I will be awesome and make healthy choices and let the scale fall where it falls. I will not over indulge and will not use food to fuel my emotions I will use food to fuel my energy! I am awesome, I will continue to be awesome! I will not let the models who are airbrushed on the cover of magazines tell me I am not!

Thank you Kelly Clarkson for the inspiration today and thank you Sex Love and Washing Clothes blog for giving me an outlet on this Friday morning to refocus my negative energy, and hopefully inspire some of you to enjoy your awesomeness and accept that you are awesome, even if you don’t see the number you want to see on that fucking box you stand on that tells you your relation to gravity! Have fun my awesome friends! I will continue to have sex with my beautiful husband who loves me at any size, you do the same!