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Hello friends. Let’s do a check in about the Bare Necessities of Sex Love and Washing Sex everydayClothes. The having sex every day, washing clothes everyday ….wait, hold please, I am going to go put some laundry in… ok back now. Yes I really did pause and go put in laundry. The Hubs needs clean uniforms tomorrow. So let’s just start with the Washing Clothes part, no I have not done laundry start to finish everyday! I have done something with laundry everyday. I have kept up on it most of the time and for sure, better than ever before but sometimes that means just moving a basket of clean clothes across the room so I can sit in my favorite spot on the couch. The house is fairly clean most of the time and to be real, it is probably not going to get much better than it already has. The Hubs has high standards and may not be ok with the standard of where the house is but on average and even more than on average my house is cleaner than most of the people I know and I would bet cleaner than yours…. He will have to just be okay with me and our house and learn to deal just like all you other husbands or provider types in the family have.

Now on to the good stuff. I love to talk about sex. It has been a while since talking about sex in the Sex Love and Washing Clothes areana. Well We had sex every single day of 2015 until Fucking Valentines Day. We got a little typsy and got home and fell asleep before knockin’ boots but we were touching and cuddling and one of us performed oral on the other who was obviously TDTF (if you don’t know that is Too Drunk To Fuck). So I kind of feel like that should maybe count. Sex doesn’t always have to be penetration intercourse, right? I don’t think so. There have been one or two other days that we did not have sex. We were in a really angry fight. We usually don’t go to bed angry and we don’t usually stop fighting until we settle things or can at least have angry sex but really that time I had to turn over in bed and stop responding to him or I would have screamed and said things I didn’t want to say (again) he is just so dang stubborn he won’t let it go until I do, and I obviously wouldn’t either. When we can’t make up with at least angry sex you know that it was a doozy. We have since reconciled. The issue is a long-standing and will be a long-standing until we decide to respect each others opposing points of view and accept the other for who they are instead of trying to fight so hard to change them….that is a topic for another day. Have I mentioned February sucked? Yes that fight happened in February!

Since then however we have still had sex everyday, my new goal is to make it to my birthday (actually to the end of the year but let’s try to bet our streak first)! Even when we are not in the mood for sex (usually it’s me tired). Like last night, The Hubs knows how to get me going. There have been some days all the switches he is trying and it just doesn’t work. Sometimes it is just so frustrating to me, imagine how he feels (Wow, hadn’t thought of it that way). I think “why can’t he just be romantic?’ and he thinks “why can’t she just get turned on I am touching her in all the magic spots” then he tries to touch me harder and go faster, when I am thinking he needs to go slower and smoother. What is wrong with that last sentence? In those instances we are not talking, we are not communicating or being intimate!

Intimacy is the reason we are trying this anyway! Even if you have sex you can still lack intimacy. You have to have a connection. You cannot be just about having sex everyday. You have to be about feeling it and being in the moment everyday. Letting your body and mind and soul connect with your partner every time. Sometimes I think for me he gets too physical. He know what he does to get me sexy and hot and he tries it but it is with the lack of emotional connection or the presence of him being “in the moment”. I brought it up to him last night, which is sketchy to try to do this while trying to have sex, I said I feel like we lack connection. I felt like he was trying to get me turned on for him to get to do something with me, rather than get me turned on so we could do something together. I think partly I was just as disconnected because I was thinking instead of just feeling him touching me so I was a bit distant as well. He said “no baby I want to get you off, I want you to come with me”. After the that I started to feel and try to connect and he did too. I started touching back, touched myself a bit and then slowly I started up that climax hill and BAM! We both finished nicely, all due to the communication. That was key.

I do feel like Sex everyday gets a bit overwhelming when it is defined with penetration intercourse however, if we stop focusing on that and focused on intimacy and connection then the whole paradigm shifts from just sex to love, expressed sexually. There is a real connection of the emotional and physical part of sex itself. You can have one without the other. Sometime the hubs and I have get lazy and I feel like I have just gone through the motions for him or to fulfill my Sex Love and Washing Clothes duties. He never complains!

I know he would like me to be more forward with him, he would like me to be the sex kitten pouncing on him as he walks through the door. What man doesn’t want that? I want him to connect with me. Answer my every text during the day (For the record, I know that is unrealistic he has a job that keeps him busy and I have a lot of down time and get lonely) I want the TV to get turned off, phones to go away and just hang out. I feel like he has been connected to social media way more than normal. F1 is gearing up, NFL has had a lot of news, he is involved in his Elevator world for work and I understand he doesn’t have time all day to see what is going on in the world but I do feel like he has had his face buried in his phone a lot lately. I am the pot calling the kettle black, but this is my blog. So, I have tried to keep my phone and social media usage to a minimum. Especially when we are together. You will catch me throwing my phone away from me across the family room because if it is in arms reach I pick up look at it, instantly go to Facebook and I am on it reading the same Facebook status updates once again. I irritate myself with how much I check Facebook. I would rather Q up porn and get it on! Yes, I watch porn with the Hubs, don’t judge until you try… (I feel a Hump Day Challenge coming on with that one!)

We have had great sex as a result of Sex Love and Washing Clothes. We had great sex before Sex Love and Washing Clothes. At first I felt more of a connection and an almost euphoric feeling surrounding us as we started the journey of Sex Love and Washing Clothes. The not having to wonder if we would have sex that night was nice. However I think it has become an expectation, as the days have worn on and the so to speak “honeymoon” period has worn off, it sometimes feels like a chore. Not that I am complaining. There is no “chore” I would rather do than this one! I do love sex! I love experiencing the feeling and emotion of it. I love our escapades, I love our role-playing and fantisizing when we are having sex. I love the way my husband feels inside of me! I love his tongue and the way his hands touch me and caress all the parts of my body. I hate the, what I call, the doldrums of life get in the way. I hate listening to the Hubs complain about being busy and my forgetfulness and then trying to be sexual and feeling like I am not going to ever be good enough for this man who takes care of my family.

I know he loves me and I know he knows I love him. everyone goes through times that we say “Why the fuck did I marry him/her” And if you say you don’t you are lying to yourself! I don’t think it is wrong to feel anger and pick apart everything your partner does at one time or the other. We just can’t do it all the time. We must focus on the big picture. Your husband leaving his shoes by his chair that angers you so much and you tell him so often. He doesn’t do it to anger you, or because he doesn’t care about your beautiful carpet, he is tired and just wants those work boots off, so get him a basket to put them in so it can collect the dirt and mud. And men the ladies who leave their high heel shoes right inside the door, heals are hard work to wear and needs to get them off ASAP. Don’t complain about the shoes that over flow her shelf, she feels sexy in cute shoes, ladies have a hard time feeling sexy so let her be flashy in her shoes and don’t give her a hard time about it, get her a bigger shelf or an over the door shoe holder. She is trying to keep them on her own shelf sometimes we have to pee really bad s when we come home so she can’t take the time to put them in there super organized a basket for her would be good too… Don’t make mountains out of {shoe} mole hills! Whining, nagging and knit picking making mountains out of mole hills kills sex drive! Figure out a way to work with it and accept them for who they are. Push through and have sex. Fuck like you are drunk and 21….maybe even get drunk it’s more fun, just do it early enough to be able to get up  in the morning for work!

Relax and have sex everyday. Don’t think of it as penetration intercourse, be close, cuddle, touch and kiss all over! Lick and suck too! Be nicer to each other all day, remember you may not have been with them all day and don’t know what is going on in their head so try to have your voice be a good positive voice. Whining and nagging at your husband all day is not going to make him want to treat you like the goddess you deserve. And Husbands pointing out the dust on top of the TV she missed does not make her want to come give you a blow job while you watch Sports Center! Understanding and loving each other through their rough spots will get that connection that we need for good sex everyday! Relax and have sex everyday!