Happy Hump Day!!! It has been a busy day for me today so this blog is a bit later than I like it to be. I also am trying to finish it before the kids come to school. I hate hiding what I am writing from them as it seems they are not interested in looking at my screen until I start righting the naughty stuff!
Today’s hump day challenge involves porn. I alluded to or hinted it yesterday! The Hubs and I have found a lot of satisfaction using porn to stimulate our sexual arousal. We use porn together, not individually! We cue up our favorite site worldsex.com and scan through the daily posts. We have learned which key words to avoid, things we don’t like and also what things we do like to look at. There have been studies that have shown that couples who use porn together vs hide it from each other are more sexually satisfied. If it’s not your thing, can you just give a night to your lover to try it. Visual stimulation can help ignite a fire that you may not get with just your lover. Not that is a replacement for your lover it is just a little icing on the cake. You lover is your cake which is pretty good and enough to statisfy you, obviously. But as with even the best chocolate cake a little icing makes it that much yummier. Let’s face it looking at a nice tan six pack is pretty yummy icing.
Don’t take that the wrong way! And don’t ever expect or desire for your husband or wife to ever match up or be like the models and actors in porn. We are adults and can make adult decisions in our brains. One reason porn is for 18 and over is because adult brains can differentiate reality from fantasy and not result in unrealistic expectations of each other. It is fantasy! Fantasy can be fun and can be stimulating. Make an agreement with you lover you only participate in these fantasies together! What ever it be make sure you both are in agreement and happy about doing this together.
As you look at porn, whether it be scrolling through pages online or flipping pages in a magazine, don’t judge your partner if they have a stash hidden away from a long time ago, be thankful they have it to use tonight. Start fresh with your relationship with porn it is a together thing for your relationship now forget the past! So don’t compare yourself but look at and pay attention to what you like. You may be surprised what you are attracted to. Don’t judge yourself, anything goes and it is all for your enjoyment. If you don’t like it turn the page or click the back button. I know for me I was and still am surprised at the things that tantalize me. It is exciting and fun.
I know I like looking at pretty people but some don’t. Some people prefer to look at average normal people there are sites for both, some where amateurs post pictures and videos in there own bedrooms, where you could even post to…lol. There are the professional sites as well. I like stick to the pro sites. But play with it, decide what you like. The Hubs and I like worldsex.com because it is a sampling of it all. There are topic galleries you can select to look at just couples or just women or blow jobs, group sex ect. I suggest for today, especially if you are new and don’t know what you like, go to the free picture and movie gallery of the day. From the front page site just scroll down to the list. It is a good sampling of a lot of different things.
As you click from one gallery to the next, videos may open (ignore the pop ads), watch them if you want but touch your partner. Caress their body as they watch different and new things. See what makes him hard as you watch. If you notice you like something grab his hand and show him by placing his hands in the wetness between your legs. Guys rub you hard on against her leg as you watch grab her hand and let her feel your hardness. Go down on each other and let her click as he licks and vice versa. Talk to each other about what you like. Try some of the new positions that you see. Fantasize about making love on a beautiful patio like you see in the picture. Put yourselves in the situation talk about it, role play….use this as a jumping off point.
There is a lot of porn fantasies that you may never do, some you may want to do, however with your lover in the room watching things you guys could fantasize about what you would do. Is it group sex or a threesome? Imagine your self there what you may do or say to your lover about someone else participating with you. Remember it is fantasy, you may never want to actually do it but you can still have fun fantasizing. If you want to do it in the future try something you see mention it to your lover, if your partner is uncomfortable with the idea you may want to table the discussion about it for later.
Remember each person is different. You may be more comfortable sexually than your partner, they may come around being exposed to more sex and porn but they also may not. Don’t ever push your lover into something they are not comfortable with. They may take time and possibly never be alright with it. Boundaries are very important and you respecting those boundaries will earn trust and one day that person will most likely loosen up about things (I did) but also know they may not.
So have fun. Don’t judge!!!! Don’t judge yourself, don’t judge your partner and don’t judge the models or actors. You are in control, click away if you don’t like something. If you don’t trust the internet try videos from reputable companies like Vivid or even try out pay per view, that way there are no videos or magazines laying around. Put the videos and magazines away so no little hands get them. Please don’t traumatize your young children with pornography laying around! Just the same, Lock you Doors!
We call it Porn and Poking in our house. We have porn and poking nights a few times a week. We enjoy role playing and playing fantasies in our bedroom. We are both into it. If you are weird about looking at naked people having sex ( if you still ready my blog I love you for not judging me) try reading porn stories. Penthouse used to have a story based publication, it was fun with no pictures, I think it was called Letters to Penthouse. Playboy is a good one to start with as well, there are definitely pretty people in there. I like to set the internet browser to “In Private Browsing” and click away, with the Hubs of course. When he is out of town, sometimes we will look through things together long distance. When we first started watching porn together I noticed I liked things that I wouldn’t expect (when he met me I was pretty prudish believe it or not!) and the Hubs knows that and that excites him. He likes seeing me loosen up and relax and let myself enjoy what is on screen and the physical contact I get from him makes it quite an enjoyable experience. I wish the same for you! Enjoy!