Monthly Archives: April 2015

Multitasking Mommy Dreamer Planner Worker

30 Thursday Apr 2015

Posted by in #Everyday2015, Be Present, Be You, Do Your Thing, Everyday, Family, Sex, Washing Clothes

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I am feeling a bit overwhelmed today, not necessarily in a bad way. I took some time this morning to reflect on this year so far. My Sex Love and Washing Clothes year! I started this blog for this year dedicated to being a good inspiring example of a stay at home mom who has ADD that can keep a house and do the stay home mom/homemaker thing. Then at some point realized that financially we need me to work. Not because my husband doesn’t provide well but As long as you know who you are who caresbecause our kids are not getting any cheaper and we would like to get a new car and not have to give up going out to dinner or skip Seahawks games ect ect…

I am scared I will be judged pourly by the stay at home moms saying that I couldn’t hack it, or let them down because I wanted to inspire us to feel like more than “just a mom”. The working moms will say I am not working full time anyway so it doesn’t count as being a working mom, real working moms work full time… (Why do we feel we have to judge or compete with eachother?) I feel a bit hypocritical knowing that I set out to be this example of a great homemaker and now I have changed my mind and decided for more reasons than one to go back to work. And more than that I decided to take on more than one industry…

I really just can’t sit still! I am a mom first, a wife …actually I am not sure if wife or mom comes first it depends on the moment, then I am a Massage Therapist, Young Living Distributor, and soon to be bartender and a house keeper. (Notice which is last in the order, um, yeah, same reason Washing Clothes is last in the title!) Oh and let’s not forget blogger! Am I a bit indecisive to say the least? I can’t make up my mind… I don’t know if this is a good or bad thing. Does it have to be a good or bad thing?

It is what it is. I love my life! I love the idea that I am going to be able to help this family accomplish financial goals and help people too! I would love to be able to make enough money that the Hubs (if he wanted to) could consider Coaching Football at the Jr High or High School level. I think he would be great but he would need to take off time from his real job to do so. I don’t even know if he would want to do that or if he would consider it at all or if his current job would allow it! But it is in the back of my mind and to take pressure off of him would be amazing. He is a great provider and great at what he does. He is a great coach and I think the world needs more like him! I can’t even imagine what it would be like to see him doing what he loves so much with kids who really appreciate the sport and who can really understand his passion for the game. (Nothing against the Hub’s current team they are just 9 and 10 though.)

I also think it would be amazing to buy a house on the Lake or Waterfront. Maybe get a Sail Boat. If I dream big and do the work, it will happen. If I plan well enough I will still have time to be a wife, mom and homemaker too! There is part of me that is thinking that I am crazy thinking I can pull this all off. Not only just the work but the dreams being fulfilled too!

There is a big part of me that knows you can’t have it ALL! Something has always got to give but I am truly motivated right now! I think I have a plan that can work: massage during the school day, bartending after 9 at night only 2 days a week or so and extra Young Living business stuff a little bit each day. Mondays will be cleaning days. When I get more busy and start making some money I may hire a house cleaner.

I will continue sex everyday but I have noticed as I have gotten busier, my house has gotten cleaner I am less “in the mood” at the end of the day. Not because I am not “in the mood” but I am tired and stressed about getting it (especially the Washing Clothes part) all done perfectly. I tend to look at everything that is not done or mistakes made and not focus on what got accomplished in a day. Some days what got accomplished is a massage or a cake being made or volunteering at school and I believe that is just as valuable as the clothes getting folded and put away.

She BelievedThere is a lot on my mommy plate and there is soon to be a lot on my ‘Ruby’ plate as well, but I am determined to make a lot of what I want to happen happen! I want to help my family succeed. A big part of that is being there to be the cushion for them all to fall on and to hug and kiss and support by running lunches in when they forget or by meeting the Hubs on a random Friday for lunch and going on field trips. I am a mom and wife first but in my “spare” time I will be a successfull business woman too! I am loving where my crazy ADD multitasking brain is taking me, right now! I hope to keep the focus and be able to do the Homemaker and wife stuff and keep my family happy all the while too!

#Everyday2015

XXX-Tequila Makes Your Clothes Fall Off

29 Wednesday Apr 2015

Posted by in Do Your Thing, Hump Day Challenge, Sex

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Hello friends! Happy Hump Day! Today’s hump day challenge day! I was having aTequilla shots hard time feeling inspired but gathered some inspiration in my new adventure in bartending. Yes I am going to try my hand at slinging drinks. A bit of a hobby job to maybe buy my husband and son their dream ‘family’ car and the Girl to Nationals and the Boy to Football camp? Then after all that maybe my dream family home on the lake. Well now to get down to the challenge.

Body Shots is your challenge. (If you don’t drink try replacing the boose with sprite or lemonade or water) Yes I know it sounds like a sorority night in college but the goal is to be playful with your mate. You can start with your favorite shot. Most people choose to do Tequila this way, but you do what you like and be creative. Tequila is often times served with Salt and Lime you lick some salt take the shot and then bite on the lime. To do a body shot prep their body by licking a particular spot let’s say on her breast, then give her a lime to hold in her mouth. With shot in hand lick the salt off your partner take the shot and then bite the lime while still in her mouth. Body shots picAdd a sensual squeeze of her breast and finish it off with a sensual passionate kiss. Then get ready to trade positions.

This is a great jumping of point to a fun night of play. Sometimes even when you have sex regularly you want something more. You are tired of the same old foreplay and always having to be the one who starts the action. Well, I can understand the way this may feel being the one who likes my partner to work on me first. I do sometimes feel ‘bad’ that I am not as good as he is at starting things up and getting him going. He is phenomenal at it he really knows how to get my going but he gets tired of it. My idea of starting things up is rubbing my boobs up against the Hubs. Although he does like that I know he would like more action from me. So I am looking for a way to start up a passionate fire and get the ball rolling. Yes I need something tangible like this to light the fire…don’t judge me I do write about sex a lot, I just am a bit shy in real life with the hubs… Stop, I can feel you getting judgmental!

The idea of body shots leading into some great passionate kissing touching and Fucking! I personally love the sensation of salt falling on my skin and the sensation of the tongue licking it off then a kiss with the taste of tequila and the lime all the while being naked and making out with your love. SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS!!! Many times drinking and taking shots like this is a social event with a big group or crazy party, we are trying to capture that energy and bring it into your bedroom! Play some fun music and dance a little. Be happy with each other have fun with it! Maybe start at your favorite restaurant or bar for date night to get in the mood.

If you don’t like tequila or are not a person who likes shots try it with a daiquiri or margarita. Sprinkle sugar on your partners body, with a daiquiri instead of salt on if you like it more fruity. Make it daiquiri body shots. The sensation of the sugar sprinkle take a drink of the frozen daiquiri and then passionately kiss your lover the cold drink cooling your mouth and going to to warm body is a very “hot” sensation! Temperature play can be very sensual pay attention to the details of temperature and textures and the different touch sensations. Talk about changing things up and lighting a fire! Your partners tongue all of a sudden 20 or so degrees cooler. Even try taking an ice cube out and running it along their body as you heat up in the bedroom.

I personally love the cold sugary play on my skin, especially on the nipples but only after we get warm. So for my hubs, give me a few shots off your body first and then even squeeze a cold lime on my nipples and then lick it off. Let’s see where this takes us and you readers too! Have fun and enjoy your shots and your partners body and your make out session and whatever it leads to! I plan to!

Variation: Try taking your tequila with a Cinnamon and Orange instead of salt and Lime for a more Hawaiian twist. Also last week I tried Cinnamon Tequila called Cinge a Cuervo product way better than Fireball especially if you like cinnamon with your tequila…

#Everyday2015

Plan Your Goals, Avoid the Lies That You Tell Yourself are Excuses

28 Tuesday Apr 2015

Posted by in Be You, Do Your Thing, Love, Washing Clothes

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Happy Tuesday! Yesterday was the Talent Show at my children’s school. I am very proud that both of my kids were in it. The Girl did her dance solo and The Boy did a monologue. He did the intro speech from Madden 13. He was pretty awesome! He played Bittersweet Symphony as the background music. If you are a Seahawks fan and go to games that song is very dear to you. That is the intro song for the Seahawks so it is very much a football song! I got chills listening to him. I am such a proud mom today! All the kids at the Talent Show were great! It is so fun to watch them put their talent on display and to watch them flourish on stage. It is hard to watch them struggle too, but it is a learning experience a very good lesson for them all. Ittalent takes courage is very fun to watch kids put on a talent show!

It got me thinking about talent. God given talent and the kind that kids, and adults too, really want and work hard for and just don’t get where they want. There is a saying “Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard” a very important lesson for gifted kids or even gifted adults have to learn. If they don’t learn they fail. Hard work will always come out on top!

It is something adults need to learn as well. We make excuses not to work hard all the time. I hear this from my kids “I already know that” or “I know I am good enough, you tell me so”. That is not the lesson I want my kids to learn when I work hard to help them with their self esteem. As adults we decide it is okay to stay a little overweight because it is too hard to make food vs running through the drive through. We don’t put in the extra effort because the game is on and the dishes will be there tomorrow, or the car can wait to get washed. We make excuses not to work hard. We make excuses why our efforts don’t work. Most of the time when our efforts don’t work it is because we haven’t worked hard enough. Excuses are well planned lies

People find so many ‘excuses’ why they didn’t get a promotion. It’s someone else’s fault! Not just why they didn’t get it but why they didn’t even apply. “I would never be chosen because the boss doesn’t like me” or “I don’t have the extra time to put in” but then they complain that they don’t make enough money or better yet use that as the excuse to not pay bills. Excuses are everywhere. They are useless! No one believes them anyway. The biggest lie we all tell ourselves is that an excuse justifies our action or lack of action. We need to stop making excuses. There is no reason for excuses only actions! You either do it or you don’t! Life is hard! No one promised it would be easy! It can be great but you have to put in the work and stop making excuses!

So my mantra today is to stop making excuses! I have excuses why I can’t lose weight. Why I haven’t made money to help pay for the girl to go to Nationals and the Boy to go to camp or got enough massage appointments scheduled. Why my Essential Oil business is not taking off. Why my house is not clean or my laundry is not put away. The excuse that is a very good reason is a lie that means it just isn’t happening and I may not be working hard enough! Sometime we spread ourselves to thin (guilty) and I know I have a hard time prioritizing what I do and when I do it. No more excuses for me I will work hard and take the results that I get! In order to prioritize better we should write down goals and have direction in what you want and how you’re going to get it. Make sure your actions match those goals and point you in the direction of that goal. Here is a brief list of my goals and some direction for me to go with them. This is very brief I do suggest to make your list a bit more specific but even just a brief list written down will help get you away from the plague of making excuses because if you are not doing the things you laid out that will make you successful then you have no excuse because you are not following your plan!

My Goals

  • Weight loss~Eliminate or drastically decrease sugars and carbs, exercise 5 days per week
  • Essential Oil Business~Operation Silver Bootcamp
  • Massage Business~B&I Group, be at office for seated massage Thursday mornings
  • Sending the Girl to Nationals and the Boy to camp~Go Fund Me accounts? Lemonade Stand the kids run, Fundraising and the above business plans, save money by avoid going out to eat only once per week or less
  • Relationship~Sex everyday, date night once a week, weekend with out kids at least once every 3 months (we are way over due on that last one)

What are some of your goals? How will you avoid excuses and make them happen?

#Everyday2015

NO Guarantees In Life

27 Monday Apr 2015

Posted by in Be Present, Family, Love

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Live in the momentHappy Monday! This morning on the news there is a story of a school shooting about an hour from here. No one was hurt, a teacher tackled the shooter before he could point his gun at any person. My best friend from Jr High lives in the area and her husband is a police officer in the town it occurred. He is on scene and I am thinking he is okay but still very scary and too close to home! It makes you stop and look at your family and kids and give them a longer hug and kiss before they leave for school.

We take so much for granted. That our loved ones will be there tomorrow when we are not so busy and have time to spend with them. But the fact is we don’t know, nothing is guaranteed in life. Not one moment can you be certain that there will be a later, so in the moments of life you must decide to take it all in. Enjoy each and every crazy and wonderful and not so wonderful moment. Embrace the frazzledness that is in this moment and the frustration it may cause. You will miss it if suddenly you don’t have your family to make you frazzled! Take care of every moment of everyday and accept the bad with the good and be thankful for it all. It may not be there tomorrow!

Live with a positive outlook and suck the good out of life! Until you lose someone or something you don’t know. I put myself in the shoes of parents who have lost kids and/or their life changed in an instant. It has made me really step back and love those moments that I get to tell my son to put on clean clothes and wear jeans 3 times a week! Those things wouldn’t matter if he wasn’t here!

I got to talk to the Hubs on his way to work today. We sat on the phone with almost nothing to say except “what is on your agenda today?” He talked about elevator stuff that I tried to understand and I laid out my schedule for him…and have since realized it is more busy than I expected! I really did enjoy that conversation. I am glad to have had the moments that we chat on the phone. We both got cell phones when we were 18 so we have been able to talk on the phone during travel to and from work almost everyday for a long time! I love those moments even when we sit on the phone with dead air just being together even when we are not.

Don't waitHug and love your loved ones. Don’t get down about what’s not going right! Forget the crappy stuff for a moment and realize that you would miss it if the loves in your life are not there! Appreciate your family, love your kids, enjoy every moment and take more time to enjoy the little things. The grass will always grow, dishes will be there tomorrow I guarantee it, but a life is not guaranteed so take time to enjoy your life and those of your family and loved ones!

#Everyday2015

Everyone Should Have A Thing

26 Sunday Apr 2015

Posted by in Be You, Cakes, Do Your Thing, Love

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The wedding of my friends was amazing! The cake was a success! It looked beautiful and tasted awesome. I am posting a photowpid-img_20150425_190520.jpg. I feel truly blessed to have been able to do this cake for my friends. It was a tough week but it paid off!

The party at our friends wedding was off the hook! Apparently, we were up until after 5:30 this morning! I was feeling it this morning for sure! (can you said hang over?) Last night was fun with friends we sang Mexican love songs and danced all night! We have great friends and I am thankful for them.

Today, luckily our plan included a long drive to meet up with the grandparents so the Girl could do her traditional birthday shopping with Gram. It was a fun day with our family. I made it through (only after we pulled over for me to puke, yeah it was that bad!)  So I got to rest in the car and sleep a bit of the hangover off. I can’t believe she is turning 11 in 6 days!

We got back into town for the Hubs to have his first softball practice. He used to love to play on a men’s softball league (that is how we originally met yesterday’s groom). But due to the Boy playing baseball and the Hub’s always coaching and our lives being super busy, as well as the lives of the men he used to play with, the Hub’s has not played in a few years. But he gets to play this year!take care of you They had their first practice this evening. The kids and I rode our bikes down to where they practiced and I got to play a little backyard baseball with the kids and some other boys who were there while the ‘big boys’ practiced. I had so much fun. It is usually the hubs that does that stuff with the kids and I try to play but just have a hard time just playing with no rules and my lack of skill. But I decided I would go out and just play, forget about everything that usually holds me back.! It was a blast. I am glad I got to do it.

I am happy the Hubs gets to play ball this year. We all really need some-‘thing’ that is just ours. Some time to do something just for fun just for ourselves. I have my running (haha since I have been skipping more training that actually running) the girl has dance and the boy has his sports. The Hubs has not had a ‘thing’ he is just too busy working and coaching and mowing our lawn. So I was glad to hear when he decided he would play! Everyone needs their own thing that they do just for them! I can’t wait to watch him play and see him in those baseball pants! I hope they do black pants, those are my favorite!

I had a great weekend, hope you did too! Mine was more than great! I love weddings and I love my family! I enjoy presenting a cake and watching the faces as they see it and hearing the “mmmm’s” as they eat it! It was a hard work that took a lot of time but it was well worth it and I get instant gratification when I see people enjoying my work!

#Everyday2015

Completion Relief!

25 Saturday Apr 2015

Posted by in Be Present, Cakes, Family, Love

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So I finished the cake! It is beautiful. I can post a photo yet because I want it to be a surprise to the bride and groom. I did it! I finished a cake and kept my house clean. The only day I had an issue was yesterday! I miss judged how long it would take to make the buttercream, fill and stack cakes, crumb coat with buttercream and the cover in fondant. I got it done at about 11:30 last night. Then realized I forgot  dowels to support the three tired cake in itself. So off to the store this AM. Then when delivering the cake to the venue, I realized that I forgot to bring buttercream (the glue for all the decorations.) I MacGyvered a way with straight pins and store bought ‘writing icing.’

Overall I feel my plan was sound, and time management was pretty good, following my plan, but my plan did not take into account making buttercream to coat and covering a cake for 300 people with fondant. It takes substantially longer. So I should, next time, give myself a whole day for the fondant and decorating and do the buttercream and stacking in one day.

Because of my mismanagement of time I missed the boys baseball game but I have time to shave my legs and iron the Hubs’ pants and write this quick post. All in all I am proud of myself! The cake looks beautiful the house is not a disaster (although I do have some catching up and deep cleaning to do) and only one shouting match with the hubs on the last day so tensions were high (his patience for cake stuff all over and my anxiousness of getting it done and running behind and letting him down because I was not present with him last noghtt) but I feel like it was a success. We’ll hold off on official verdict until it is officially delivered to the happy couple at there wedding! Check back for pictures later!

Enjoy your Saturday! Do what makes you happy!
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#Everyday2015

Conquer Your Fear and Saddle Up!

24 Friday Apr 2015

Posted by in Be Present, Cakes, Family, Love

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CourageHappy Friday Friends! It is cake decorating day! It is the day when I get to put these flaky sponge like squares into a stack and make them beautiful. Tomorrow is the beautiful day for two of my favorite friends! I am so happy to be part of it. At the same time I am scared to death! I am following the advice of the late John Wayne and saddling up anyway! My saddle is in the form of an apron!

I have embellished the cake topper covered the cake board in foil and will add the ribbon decor around it after the cake is complete on the board. I have a massive amount of caramel filling that is supposed to use 1/3 of the Buttercream that I will make for it. I am making 6 batches of butter cream I hope that is enough so I will go ahead and make the 12 batches for the filling first, fill the cakes and stack the layers. The cakes will probably end the night as 3 separate cakes and will be built on site at the wedding. I am hoping to take it in today before the boys baseball game.

OK there is my game plan. I have some cleaning up of breakfast mess and then get going on making the Buttercream. I am scared and at the verge of tears. I love my friends and they have so much confidence in me! I hope that I don’t let them down! The Hubs has been super supportive even telling me the cake topper looks awesome! Beautiful thing never perfectI know he could care less about jewels and design but he knows I do and he has been great helping me through this week and my doubts! I am going to do my best and that I have done some pretty bad ass things so it is time to go be a bad ass and kick this cake’s ass! Hit a home run so to speak! Cakes are meant to be eaten there is a perfect imperfection in a cake. Can’t wait to see it and my two friends all looking amazing! Go be awesome today friends! Happy Friday!

#Everyday2015

Do What Makes You Happy and Be Happy While Doing It

23 Thursday Apr 2015

Posted by in Be You, Love, Organization, Sex Love and Washing Clothes

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Happy Thursday Friends! I am baking today! 2 layers of cake goodness that will end up in a three tier lovely yummy wedding cake that will helps two of my favorite people celebrate their love and commitment for each other. A ritual that will help start the rest of their lives together! Here is what my prepped area looks like! I think I have about 6 batches of cake mix to make so I am off and running. No time to write much more maybe I will calm back later!

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XXX-Don’t Get Caught-XXX

22 Wednesday Apr 2015

Posted by in Hump Day Challenge, Sex

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Sex under a bushHello Friends and adventurers! Happy Hump Day! Happy Hump Day Challenge Day! Today’s challenge is a bit risky. Please don’t use my name if you get in trouble but if you play it safe and plan ahead you should be just fine. We have played with sex in different areas of the home but now we are going out of the house. Sex in “public” first thing to do is pick or scout out a place first.

Be creative and inventive. Safest bet probably is in your car. Go to a remote spot, maybe even a look out point that you maybe when to when you were young to go to make out overlooking the city lights. If you choose the front seat pick the passenger seat so you don’t set of the horn. Girl on top works best here. If you have a truck or SUV or even a mini-van with the ‘privacy glass’ you are golden! Slide the seat back or the front seat forward if you are in the back slide down your pants and get it on. If you are like me, I prefer naked sex, do it either at night in the dark, in a very remote location to avoid people seeing us and/or in the back of the truck since we have the privacy glass.

Maybe try a park late at night. You can find a gazebos in a shaded area or a bush to hide behind go on a school night after the kids are home and in be. (I am talking about the neighborhood kids not just yours you don’t want a kid to find you in the act, that is a way to mess up a childhood). Play on the picnic table or a good stump to move around on, or just romp right on the ground, bring a picnic blanket. Feel nature taking it coursebecome one with nature. Sex in the open air under the stars…AMAZING!

If you have an office job work ‘late’ one night and after all the coworkers go home invite your wife in to your office. Beware of security cameras, night guard and/or janitors. Wouldn’t want anyone to find you and tell your boss. If you are the boss and/or own the business more power to you, you know how to not get found out.

One of my favorite scenarios, scout out a restaurant that has a lock on their bathroom doors and maybe even that their bathroom is away from the crowd of people like the hallway of a shared office building. Either before you get seated for your meal or during dinner after apps and before the main course or after you have ordered dessert both of you go the restroom together. Lock the door behind you, lift up your skirt and have a quickie right there! It is the best kind of dessert and so hot! (We did it in an elevator in the building of the restaurant. The Hubs works on elevators and has keys. It was love in an elevator, wonder if he’ll give me tips to share to you all about that…)

Your ‘wimps way out’  go on your back patio after dark and get it on! Or if you have a major privacy fence you can do it before dark. (No one is suggesting you are a wimp lets just call this the warm up you will get hooked on sex outside and the excitement and maybe try it somewhere else one time.) Being naked outside in the dark is so hot and sexy! Use lawn chairs or a hammock in your yard if you have one. Or if you are scared do a quick stand up sex act! But turn off the motion detecting lights first. Then in the morning when you look out on your patio your little secret will make you smile!Sex outside middle of day

There are so many options to have “public sex” and not get caught! Please be careful and subtle as you could get arrested and charged with a lewd act or worse. Be mindful of trespassing laws and such! But have fun. There is nothing like taking a risk to feel a rush of excitement.

A few things to consider and remember:

1. Depending on where you choose to do it and your privacy concerns you may want to focus on a quickie.

2. Consider clothing carefully. Are you going to shed the clothes? Do you have time? Where will your clothes be while you are in action? If you are keeping the clothes on make sure you are not wearing a neon green ‘here I am’ shirt. Wear something that will blend in.

3. Ladies wear a skirt. Decide if you are going to wear underwear or not. Maybe pre-plan your positioning. If you are going to do a quickie in a bathroom no panties are the best option (isn’t it always when wearing a skirt on a date anyway?). If you are meeting your husband at his office job and you will be doing the deed in his office consider dressing up complete with pantyhose and letting him rip the crotch out but still no panties.

4. Consider skipping foreplay. Time is of the essence. Talk about it on the drive there, have your story in your head be excited…you may not need foreplay. However, if you are in your car on a remote road that no one will be there feel free to take your time.

5. The idea of getting caught may be kind of fun if it is an adult. The exhibitionist in you will get even more excited at the risk of getting caught. Be ready to bail out fast if needed and have a story ready…”I lost my ring in her vagina I had to find it.” Or we were so hot we had to relieve ourselves…that is if the person who finds you is a janitor with a sense of humor, it might at least give everyone a laugh and break the ice and stop him from calling the cops. You are already caught may as well have fun with it!

6. Be comfortable! Be it comfortable with the idea of the situation or in the back seat of your car while boning…it is all about having fun and being crazy not pinching a nerve and needing a massage therapist (however I know a good one).

7. Consider the children. Please do not expose any children to dirty lewd acts.

Enjoy the excitement the rush of being crazy. Remember the excitement we got when we had our first make out session in a dark movie theater? We thought no one was watching us. Well yeah we are older now and know how to not get caught so work your talents do your magic and see what you can do. Let me know what places you are Hump Day Challenging!

#Everyday2015

5 Ways to Have More Sex and a Better Relationship

21 Tuesday Apr 2015

Posted by in Love, Sex, Sex Love and Washing Clothes

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Happy Tuesday! This morning has already been pretty productive for me. Must be because I started the day with a bit of morning sex with the Hubs!  Last night we were both ‘in the mood’ but it was late we stayed up watching Die Hard (a fave of ours) and I was working on his feet (doing massage) so both of us were sleepy. Morning sex better than coffeeIt just doesn’t feel right if we don’t have sex between him coming home from work and then going back to work the next day. I appreciated the wake up help! He actually sent me the featured image today! I am the coffee drinker (not that coffee really helps waking me up but I like coffee). However, the morning sex does help get me up and at ’em!

We both enjoy each other. We would rather be in bed cuddling than be on time for work! Not that we are irresponsible people we just like to be together. This may explain why we can recover from some of the ‘fights’ we have! We love being together. When we first met we spent every minute we could together! Walking to classes together and knowing it took 4 seconds to make it to class from that particular corner! We were always talking on the phone until we fell asleep and now almost 17 and a half years later we are the same. We go to bed at the same time, get up at the same time. Sometimes one of us will stay in bed but we wake up with each other and have a few moments together even if it is just a quick chat and I love you and off to work! We just like to be together.

I have read many articles about what successful couples do here are 5 things that make almost every list that the Hubs and I do and they all work at keep us close even in the bumpy times! 1. Go to bed at the same time. 2. Sleep Naked, 3. Have Date Nights, 4. Be Friends and 5. Don’t be afraid to have morning sex! Well those are the bullet points that I would like to share with my readers that you should start doing if you are not doing them yet!

1. Go to Bed at the same time. It is hard to be intimate or sexual if you go to bed at different times. One person is already asleep the other comes into bed and wakes up the sleeping partner for sex…yeah, how is that working for you? Or are you the one who stays up to avoid sex, intentionally? Not to be harsh but you are sabotaging your relationship. Going to bed at the same time gives you time to have pillow talk, and gets your schedules synced up, it is much easier to make good positive physical connection everyday if you are going to bed at the same time. There is no TV, Computers, Books or work allowed leave your phone alone too. You can’t sleep with all that anyway make your spouse and your relationship important and go to bed together sans TV, Computer, Books and Mobile devices. If you can’t sleep you can pull it out after sex and/or after your partner is asleep after you have had your pillow talk and cuddle time after sex. (If you work different schedules, I get it. You have to do what you have to do, but make an agreement to wake up for a while to have those intimate moments be it when one partner gets home or the other is getting up for work one way or another make time for each other to share moments of pillow talk and intimacy in bed.) Note: You may want to make your bed time earlier to accommodate your wake up schedule the Hubs and I usually take an hour or so for our ‘bedtime routine’ don’t rush it enjoy!

2. Sleep Naked. Why have to bother taking off clothes in bed? Not only does sleeping naked help make sex easier so you don’t have to take off clothes but skin to skin contact has been researched and proven to heighten health and feelings of connection. Moms and newborn babies are spending more time enjoying skin to skin contact due to such research, it is the same for the Moms and dads or just couples. It is a human thing, not just a baby thing, we can’t thrive without it! Don’t be ashamed of your sleepwearbody and hide it and don’t shame your partner if it is not perfect. Your partner needs to touch your skin with their skin. There are hormones released, and happy chemicals are being stimulated, pheromones are getting released! If you are afraid to be naked with your spouse or lover, get comfortable being naked! I bet your lover will love seeing all of you. Remember you are under the covers so it’s not like anyone actually sees you and the skin to skin contact can still happen while under covers. Just do it! Tell you lover you love them naked too!)

3. Have Date Nights: Go out get out of the space that needs cleaning, needs work or is just boring because you have been there all day. You date night can be to a local bar for one drink during happy hour or to a restaurant for dinner or just appetizers or desserts. Just get out of the 4 walls you spend everyday!

4. Be Friends: If you are friends you will want to be together. If you don’t, get to know each other! You should know who your spouses go to friends are. You should know their favorite food, favorite flower and favorite movie. You should also know their biggest fear, who they love and who they hate and who they just put up with to be with you… If you have not ever do a love map exercise you can purchase the Gottman book The Seven Principals for Making Marriage Work and Love Map Exercise (click on links) or I am sure you can search some questions. Just get to know each other and remember you were once friends that how you became lovers. If not, you need to be friends so you can stay lovers forever is a long time to spend with someone you don’t know.

5. Have Morning Sex. Or any kind of sex. Just have sex! Sex everyday may not be doable but more sex is doable I guarantee it! This is coming from a girl who has sex everyday! Sex is positive touch. More positive touch, even if it is not full blown intercourse, will height the quality of your relationship! Just do It more!

Ok, there are my 5 easy things to do to make your relationship and sex better. Start tonight with going to be at the same time and sleeping naked! You will never turn back, I promise! No excuses, if you get cold sans your flannel PJs go grab another blanket!

Go have a great day and we will see you for the Hump Day Challenge tomorrow!

#Everyday2015