I am ranting and not editing sorry if you are a typo geek you probably don’t want to read this!
BTW please know I am not an angel, I wrote this when I was angry and frustrated I do understand that this is a very one-sided and should not be used to judge the Hubs as he is a hard worker and we both as with all of you readers have our faults!
Obviously writing this blog has not fixed or avoided any arguments. All I want is for my husband to be nice. Husbands: your wife needs you to be nice to her even when she is not perfect! If she avoids yelling at you and asks to talk about a sensitive subject later do not go back to her in the next moment to point out something else that she did wrong! That will start an all day argument. Respect your wife when she need to take care of herself. She hates yelling and feeling trapped and getting flooded and the reason she asks to come back later is so that you can have a civilized conversation and maybe you both can listen to eachother.
She hangs up the phone on you so she doesn’t yell in your ear and so she doesn’t have to listen to how bad she fucked up. So that your explaination of why it was important to pick up her shoes when you told her to!
She just wants to be nice to her. To care about her. When she cries see her pain and understand she is hurting and needs to feel loved.
When she answers the phone and says please be nice to me, just be nice to her. Don’t point out that she might be PMSing or don’t try to get her to apologize. Just be nice to her.
You wife needs love and needs to feel it. If she is like me, she doesn’t feel it. She doesn’t think she is good enough because you have not told her she is. When she is calm and not flooded she knows she is way better than you treat her. She knows she is an amazing wife and mom and she knows that she deserves better even when she is pissy and angry and sick and tired and angry!
I give up trying to be all positive relationship advice giver! I got none today! I just hope this passes before the end of the day and we can go back to being best friends loving eachother. I said I am sorry, he said he was sorry but for some reason it is not over and that is hard to handle when I feel like I have tried and tried!