Happy Tuesday! This morning has already been pretty productive for me. Must be because I started the day with a bit of morning sex with the Hubs! Last night we were both ‘in the mood’ but it was late we stayed up watching Die Hard (a fave of ours) and I was working on his feet (doing massage) so both of us were sleepy. It just doesn’t feel right if we don’t have sex between him coming home from work and then going back to work the next day. I appreciated the wake up help! He actually sent me the featured image today! I am the coffee drinker (not that coffee really helps waking me up but I like coffee). However, the morning sex does help get me up and at ’em!
We both enjoy each other. We would rather be in bed cuddling than be on time for work! Not that we are irresponsible people we just like to be together. This may explain why we can recover from some of the ‘fights’ we have! We love being together. When we first met we spent every minute we could together! Walking to classes together and knowing it took 4 seconds to make it to class from that particular corner! We were always talking on the phone until we fell asleep and now almost 17 and a half years later we are the same. We go to bed at the same time, get up at the same time. Sometimes one of us will stay in bed but we wake up with each other and have a few moments together even if it is just a quick chat and I love you and off to work! We just like to be together.
I have read many articles about what successful couples do here are 5 things that make almost every list that the Hubs and I do and they all work at keep us close even in the bumpy times! 1. Go to bed at the same time. 2. Sleep Naked, 3. Have Date Nights, 4. Be Friends and 5. Don’t be afraid to have morning sex! Well those are the bullet points that I would like to share with my readers that you should start doing if you are not doing them yet!
1. Go to Bed at the same time. It is hard to be intimate or sexual if you go to bed at different times. One person is already asleep the other comes into bed and wakes up the sleeping partner for sex…yeah, how is that working for you? Or are you the one who stays up to avoid sex, intentionally? Not to be harsh but you are sabotaging your relationship. Going to bed at the same time gives you time to have pillow talk, and gets your schedules synced up, it is much easier to make good positive physical connection everyday if you are going to bed at the same time. There is no TV, Computers, Books or work allowed leave your phone alone too. You can’t sleep with all that anyway make your spouse and your relationship important and go to bed together sans TV, Computer, Books and Mobile devices. If you can’t sleep you can pull it out after sex and/or after your partner is asleep after you have had your pillow talk and cuddle time after sex. (If you work different schedules, I get it. You have to do what you have to do, but make an agreement to wake up for a while to have those intimate moments be it when one partner gets home or the other is getting up for work one way or another make time for each other to share moments of pillow talk and intimacy in bed.) Note: You may want to make your bed time earlier to accommodate your wake up schedule the Hubs and I usually take an hour or so for our ‘bedtime routine’ don’t rush it enjoy!
2. Sleep Naked. Why have to bother taking off clothes in bed? Not only does sleeping naked help make sex easier so you don’t have to take off clothes but skin to skin contact has been researched and proven to heighten health and feelings of connection. Moms and newborn babies are spending more time enjoying skin to skin contact due to such research, it is the same for the Moms and dads or just couples. It is a human thing, not just a baby thing, we can’t thrive without it! Don’t be ashamed of your body and hide it and don’t shame your partner if it is not perfect. Your partner needs to touch your skin with their skin. There are hormones released, and happy chemicals are being stimulated, pheromones are getting released! If you are afraid to be naked with your spouse or lover, get comfortable being naked! I bet your lover will love seeing all of you. Remember you are under the covers so it’s not like anyone actually sees you and the skin to skin contact can still happen while under covers. Just do it! Tell you lover you love them naked too!)
3. Have Date Nights: Go out get out of the space that needs cleaning, needs work or is just boring because you have been there all day. You date night can be to a local bar for one drink during happy hour or to a restaurant for dinner or just appetizers or desserts. Just get out of the 4 walls you spend everyday!
4. Be Friends: If you are friends you will want to be together. If you don’t, get to know each other! You should know who your spouses go to friends are. You should know their favorite food, favorite flower and favorite movie. You should also know their biggest fear, who they love and who they hate and who they just put up with to be with you… If you have not ever do a love map exercise you can purchase the Gottman book The Seven Principals for Making Marriage Work and Love Map Exercise (click on links) or I am sure you can search some questions. Just get to know each other and remember you were once friends that how you became lovers. If not, you need to be friends so you can stay lovers forever is a long time to spend with someone you don’t know.
5. Have Morning Sex. Or any kind of sex. Just have sex! Sex everyday may not be doable but more sex is doable I guarantee it! This is coming from a girl who has sex everyday! Sex is positive touch. More positive touch, even if it is not full blown intercourse, will height the quality of your relationship! Just do It more!
Ok, there are my 5 easy things to do to make your relationship and sex better. Start tonight with going to be at the same time and sleeping naked! You will never turn back, I promise! No excuses, if you get cold sans your flannel PJs go grab another blanket!
Go have a great day and we will see you for the Hump Day Challenge tomorrow!