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Monthly Archives: May 2015

Keeping Kids Accountable is Hard Work!

31 Sunday May 2015

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Family, Love, Love Your Kids, Parenting, Raising Kids

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Family, Kids, Love, Parenting is Hard

Raising kids is hard work. Keeping them accountable and following through so that they do what you tell them to is hard work! Not killing them they don’t do what they were told or do things they should know better not to do, deserves an award!

I have so many people tell me my kids are good kids. A while back a single friend with no kids said to me “What is wrong with your kids?” We had had a BBQ or party the night before and the kids were home as well I was wondering what had happened that I missed, but he followed up with “Last night at the party they were good. No meltdowns, they went to bed when you told them to and stayed there.  And we were loud. Now you just sent them out play and they went out to play!” I said “uh I don’t know it must be in their genes.” I took it as a compliment. My kids are pretty good kids, but like all kids they have their moments.

That was a few years ago, but my kids are still pretty good kids. They are learning ways to skate out of doing what they were told and learning ways to make it look like they did what they were told. As kids grow it is their job to figure out how to do this thing called life. And part of that is learning to survive and and learning to thrive. Part of that is sometimes how can I get what I want with as little work as possible? But it is our job as parents to teach them that life is not always about doing as little as possible to get what they want. It is about getting out of life what you put into it. If you do as little as possible when you don’t have a mom who wants you to have what is best, you won’t end up with the best of anything. One day they will figure out that they now have a really cool life because mom and dad work hard to provide that for them, but I don’t want them to learn that on the day they move out and end up bankrupt or homeless! I want them to see that they have to work for some of the cool stuff they have!

I get so frustrated doing everything and then when I ask for the dishes to be done I get “aw do I have to?” or they leave dishes on the drain board right behind the sink. Seriously do I have to say do the dishes behind the sink too?! I don’t think I should, and eventually I won’t (I hope) but until they start doing it I will have to say “those dishes are part of all the dishes”. Kids need to be taught certain things, then they need to be taught them again and againg and again. I have underestimated the amount of times I will have to teach and reteach and remind them how to do things and that to do it. My mom used to say to me “I shouldn’t have to ask” I hated that as a kid but I sometimes feel the same way and I have said it to. The Hubs and I both have to work on the teaching and reteaching and not exploding on them with “WHY DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS AGAIN?!” But I don’t think we are alone in that either. We do try to have patience but there is a point when patience runs out and the explosion ensues…that’s another topic for another day today we are talking about the kids.

But the bottom line is, yes, you do have to ask them again. No, you have to tell them again. If you ask you imply they have a choice and sometimes in life you don’t get a choice. You don’t have a choice weather you pay the bills you kids shouldn’t have a choice if they ‘want’ to clean their room or wash the dishes or fold clothes (or what ever it is you are needing them to do). Kids need responsibility and accountability. When we get frstrated with our kids we really should be getting frustrated with us because what has happened is that we have slacked off on keeping them accountable. We have let it go for too long. We get busy in our own adult lives and jobs and stuff. Then we turn around and realize “hey I have kids they can help with this” then we ask (or tell) them to do something walk out of the room thinking they will do it and when we come back we expect it to be done and they are still watching the end of their favorite show. We have to be specific, we have to follow through, tell them to do it now, if they ask can I finish this show then decide but you don’t always have to do it the way the kids want to it to be done. It is okay to tell them no, do it now!

No going forward to do it yourself because it will get done faster…that just makes us more pissy and teaches them that if they don’t do it mom will anyway and that let’s them off the hook. Holding them accountable is hard! It is both mom and dad’s job! Holding myself accountable is hard enough as it is! Why can’t this be as easy as letting them cry it out when they were babies?! It just is not! So put on your big girl mommy pants and teach them to put their big kid pants on and do what they were told and/or asked to do! And don’t give in! Stay the course. No one will do it for them when you are not around so stop rewarding bad behavior by “doing it yourself because it is easier” or by bargaining “just one more minute?” NO! That is what teaches our kids to not be responsible and rely on us or in the future government assistance and I know you don’t want that for your kids!

Image result for children need to learn consequencesSo stop bailing out your kids. Don’t let them back talk or be lazy, hold them accountable. What sucks is you too have to be accountable too! No more letting it wait until later, be accountable now. Be reasonable folks! The house is not burning down the dishes if that is their chore, can wait until after baseball practice for them to do it but they better do it before they get to watch American Idol! Kids have a lot on their plate and those parents of those kids have even more on their plate. Start young gettting your kids to work around the house and be accountable and that will make it easier as they get older. Because remember, when they turn 16 and drive away on their own you want to know that they can follow directions and be responsible. They need to know there are consequences for bad behavior and in the real world it is not sitting on a carpet for 5 minutes, sometimes as they get older especially when they drive it can be life and death. Start young to avoid that!

Now go give your kids a hug and a kiss while they do the dishes 😉

#Everyday2015

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Word of the day: Twin Flame

30 Saturday May 2015

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Love

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Loves

Happy Friday!!! I  have been busy today massage, then I had to get my food workers permit, then worked at the bar. Now that I am off work I am sitting with my sister and a friend chatting. Since I didn’t have time to write earlier I am posting now so I get my post in today!

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My sister and I were talking about my old friend who use to work at the bar that is my female soul mate. Every time we see each other it is like no to me at all past. Her and I have seen each other for a while but if we did it would be like no time has past. My sister tells me that is called your twin flame. Well my twin flame just had a baby and I wish I could see her and her little bundle. To my twin flame if you are reading, love you and miss you!

So enjoy your night with your friends and family. Live laugh love!

#Everyday2015

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Happy Birthday Dad!

29 Friday May 2015

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Dad, Love, Sex Love and Washing Clothes

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Be You, Family, Love

***Dammit, I didn’t finish before the end of May 28th Dad’s Birthday***

Today (May28) would have been my dad’s 75th birthday. I am having a rough day. I drove by the cemetery (I drive by it everyday) and started crying. I lost my dad almost 15 years ago I wrote about on the anniversary of his death January 6memories leak our of my eyes. Every year it seems to get harder and harder to not have my dad. The Boy even said to me today the he would have like to have met him. The Boy is really sensitive to my emotions, to everyone’s emotions, he asked me why was I mad earlier at another time today when I was crying. I said “I am not mad, I am sad. Today was my dad’s 75th birthday.” That is all I had to say and he knew, that is when he told me he wished he could have met him. It is hard for me to know that my kids will never know their Grandpa R. He was a special man. I can’t even explain it. How do explain a person to someone who has never met them. I really miss my dad!

Instead of getting all sappy and making myself cry again I am going to use this as an opportunity to really speak to all of you, my readers. Take care of yourself! My dad died of smoking. He had a brain tumor caused by metastasized lung cancer brought on by smoking since he was 9. I vowed that I would never smoke because it stinks and because it causes you to die. I made that decision as a young child. Then when I watched my dad die. As he progress through his disease I promised myself I would never put my family through that. Your family deserves you at your best for as long as possible. Smoking is not the only thing that kills people and steals dad from daughters. It could be alcohol, drugs, even golfing without sunscreen (oh no tanning, guilty as charged ok as soon as my tanning package ends in July I will be done!) It could be high blood pressure brought on by obesity, what I am trying to say is that you owe it to your family to be healthy!

I am sorry if I sound preachy. But every birthday that goes by without my dad, this is 15, I get sadder. Knowing all the things I have done and what I have become because of my dad, what he taught me. I think he would be proud. He didn’t teach me anything on purpose, he just lived, his way! I wish I had his confidence. He never looked for approval from anyone but he got approval from everyone! He was strong and a big personality but in the background for a lot of my life. One of my favorite memories was when I was in a pageant for The Parade Princess in my area. He escorted me during the evening gown part of the competition, he said to me back stage “I think you got it” my response was “Dad, don’t say that!” I didn’t want to think I had it, because I never had anything my whole life I rarely won anything, didn’t want to get my hopes up. I was crowned second princess which made me ecstatic I just wanted a seat on the float and a crown and I got it! Dad was right!

So Friends consider making healthier life choices! I am making a conscious decision to stop tanning and eat healthier, not drink and drive, or ride in a car with anyone who has been drinking, exercise more regularly and reduce my stress. Take care of me so my kids can have me for longer. My dad tried he quit smoking  about 5 years before he died but it was too late to stop the damage already done! Don’t wait until it is too late! Take care of you! In turn you will take care of your family!

DadBe there for your family! Hug your dad for me please. And next time you see me if you know me I could use a hug from you in remembrance of my dad! Let me know what you are doing to be healthier and be around longer for your family. I am going to stop tanning (I so don’t want to say that I love tanning, but I love my family more and it is worth it to take care of them and be here! As much as I want to see my dad again I am not in too much of a hurry to get there) I have too much to do on this earth. Grand kids to meet, Grandpa R never met my kids, I so wish he had. Be there for your Grandkids, take care of you!

Take the time to take care of yourself!

#Everyday2015

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XXX-Hip Swivel Shake-XXX

27 Wednesday May 2015

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Hump Day Challenge, Sex, XXX

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Hump Day Challenge, Sex, XXX

Happy Hump Day!!  It is a pretty Wednesday here in the great northwest. I have been feeling overwhelmed lately as you have read if you have been reading. So today I brought in reinforcements in the form of my friend who is a house cleaner! I love my cleaning lady days!!! I did massage this AM and then I went for a run and now I am sitting down to quickly write the hump day challenge.

Due to the fact that I have been busy and overwhelmed and had a crazy realistic dream this morning and woke up in a funk (more on that tomorrow probably) I have been slightly uninspired to write this hump day challenge. I got nothing exciting no great advice or new tricks so what did I do? I turn to my trusty 365 book (you can find it in my Amazon store) today is Day 147 day of the year so I turned to that page and found some inspiration!

The Hip Swivel Shake is the move. Guys sits in a chair or reclines a bit on the couch with his hips swiveled legs bent at the knees and swiveled to the side-with legs apart. His lover facing him gets in between his legs kind of kneeling and he enters her (so they are kind of perpendicular-wish at the pelvises). This is a penis one way pussy the other kind of ‘entrance angle’ position which is a nice change. She can rub her clit up against your leg for stimulation that way or it can open up the area for finger play as well. As you two rock and shake and grind you will find different and more erotic sensations with the different entrance angle. Take advantage of the body in this position your hands are more free as you are sitting up and you can grab and caress different areas of the body. Her breasts are right here for you and ladies try some nipple stimulation on him too it is as nice for him as it is you. I bet your boobs can get in his mouth more easily and if you don’t know yet sucking on nipple while fucking is so erotic!

I love these types of change it up positions. Feel free to modify swiveling the hips may pose some discomfort if you have back issues so if needed the man can sit square and the girl can adjust to basically straddle one leg. Also it may be a position you can try an anal entrance as well. It depends on your experience level and adventure level of the back door or if you are like me the horny level. For me to get adventurous with anal I have to be very turned on or “tuned up” as the Hubs would say. This may mean he will be trying to feed me more drinks tonight on date night…LOL jk. Only half way jk…

Have some fun with this; don’t get too overwhelmed… See what I did there?! Just, sit on the couch or a chair or something twist your hips opposite each other get close, boy enter girl and Fuck (that is capitalized because my new surface keeps censoring me! I want to say Fuck Dimmitt not Duck! And I want a racey picture to post and it is censoring those too some one tell my surface that it does not need safe search the kids are not allowed on it!) That simple now go at it! Be loud and adventurous and enjoy each other’s body!

Have fun and enjoy your Hump Day!

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Overwhelmed I am!

27 Wednesday May 2015

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in #Everyday2015, Be You, Washing Clothes

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Acceptance, Do You, Don't Judge Me, Washing Clothes

Happy Tuesday that feels like a Monday and OMG! I am feeling so overwhelmed! Between my Things will work outwork at my massage office, learning bartending and to work at the bar, real life as in house work, grocery shopping, laundry, baseball scoring and team mom and end of season stuff, then add in my dance class, workouts that aren’t happening…I am just feeling overwhelmed so it is time to call in for help, wish I could hire someone to go grocery shopping for me but, I haven’t told the Hubs this yet, I am using part of my first few days of tips to hire a house cleaner to get my house in order and get back on top of the 8 ball. It is time to just get it done and get on track. So I will be handing over a nights worth of tips or so to have someone else clean up my clutter and get it to a place where we can all maintain it while I am working! For now this is a one time event we’ll see how we do after I get my schedule going and see if we need her regularly or not.

So in life, Baseball is coming to a close in the next few weeks, dance auditions for next year’s team is coming up and the girl can’t decide if she wants to even do it. 5th grade camp is two weeks away and then the end of the school year! The kids will be gone for a couple weeks with Gram and Gramps we may be going to Nationals, we will be going to Montana for a week. I have to do CEUs for Massage this week!!! There is a lot on my plate! I need to prioritize and get shit done! So for today this blog is short and sweet and just about finished, and still not making sense or flowing in any way that a blog should but who the fuck cares, at least I am writing!

I love you people keep reading and following I am pretty sure I will not literally explode, but I may! Whatever happens it will be fun to watch or read about! My next task is to figure out tomorrow hump day challenge! Maybe even try it out tonight! We’ll see!

Have a great rest of your Tuesday that feels like a Monday!

#Everyday2015

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The Kid’s College Scholarship Challenege

26 Tuesday May 2015

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Connection, Kids, Love, Parenting, Planning, Raising Kids

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Challenge, Kids, Preparation, Work Hard

So we are driving home from Grandma and Grampa’s house. It is about a 2 and a half hour drive. We were talking about how expensive the kids are. The Boy says The Girl is more expensive because of dance, but I said until she gets a full ride scholarship. Then he said well, what if I get a football scholarship? So, we made a deal whoever gets the higher scholarship doesn’t have to pay for a college graduation celebration cruise with the family. Trying to motivate the kids to work hard and inspire a bit of friendly competition!

I don’t even know if they want to go to college but for now they have an incentive to work hard and do their best for a pretty nice reward! Hoping that made an impact and this weekend created memories as well as a bit if drive to win! I am sure this is going to need some follow up and reminders when it gets tough but hard work will pay off!

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Back at home we are chilling kids are playing catch in the back yard the Hubs and I are sipping on some brews and just relaxing. I am getting my head ready for a busy week. Two baseball games, training at the bar dance rehearsals oh and my day job, massage. I need to meal plan grocery shop and clean house too…it may be time to hire a house cleaner… In just do t want to part with a nights worth if tips to do so since I am not working that much yet! …gotta figure this shit out and fast! But for bow I am going to go snuggle in my favorite spot in the corner of the couch with The Hubs! Take in these last few moments of this three day weekend.
Thank you to and remembering those who died in service for our country so we can have this three day weekend. USA!

#Everyday2015

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When I was Tripping on Acid…

25 Monday May 2015

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Family

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Cards Against Humanity, Funny

It is late Saturday night and we are about rolling in the floor playing Cards Against Humanity with the In Laws!!  My FIL is killing it! Who knew he could be this funny!

We had a great day fished, took the kids, shooting in the hills, went out to dinner played Yahtzee… but I am going back to playing and laughing with the FAM! I am waiting for a good card to title this post.

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Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

#Everyday2015

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People Utilizing Service Sheep

24 Sunday May 2015

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be You, Love, Uncategorized

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Family, Love

Happy Saturday! It is late but I am getting it in today (unless you are on the East Coast and it is tomorrow already.) I do have a lot to say but haven’t been able to stop to write today. We got up and headed to Grandma’s house.

Yesterday I worked my first Friday shift! It was fun and a bit crazy too. I experienced my first “feeding frenzy” which is when a Pull tab game is hot and everyone is playing the same game. Then you have to go in order to get everyone’s tab because inevitably someone is going to get pissed that you gave the winner to someone else and not them. However, everyone was very nice to me and understanding of my slowed pace due to learning how to do things. I only made 2 mixed drinks the rest were just beer and whisky coke type. But I made a Tequila Sunrise and two Lemon Drop shots. I did not over fill a pitcher or waste too much beer from foam. Still haven’t made food yet but it was fun. After my shift the Hubs met me for our Friday night date and at about 12 I got super tired and faded fast. I am still super tired. My trainers told me I did a good job and I am feeling pretty confident and enjoying my new adventure.

Today we got up and packed for the weekend and headed over the mountains to Grandparents house. We made a few stops on the way had a couple funny conversations and giggled about a flatulent comment from the boy. It went like this:

The Boy: I have to fart (as we passed by a sewer truck)

The Girl: You stink bad

The Boy: What? I had to fart!

Me: Can we not use that word please.

The Hubs: Really?! Seriously you don’t like that word Oh My Gosh!!! He is a boy!

Me: I just don’t like it! Never have I just don’t like toilet talk!

The Hubs to The Boy: You can say Flatulence buddy!

The Boy:  OK sorry! I had to FAT-ulent!!  (which he thought was pretty funny because he said fat in reference to himself. He is far from fat!)

All of us cracked up laughing and trying not to smell the sewer truck and I don’t think the boy ever realized the smell was from him!

Our son is a chatterbox! Especially when we drive. I think it is because he takes after me and either gets car sick or falls asleep and there is no way he wants to miss anything!!!! It is pretty funny and entertaining except when I want to sleep in the car and he says something to me and when I don’t respond he follows it up with “Mom, can you hear me? MOM CAN YOU HEAR ME? DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?” Then if I don’t answer it is followed by The Hubs telling him to be quiet… Which may be funny if you are not me! My son is pretty funny and entertaining, Unless you are trying to sleep.

Our long weekend has started off pretty well! We are sitting telling stories with the in laws now about hilarious things that happened last summer! Why have I not heard the Elk story from the BBQ Gramps took the boy to last summer….and the most recent things being said have included sheep service animals, double decker cow haulers and “have you seen how much those cows shit?” “I never realized the cows were double dickered” “I knew the sheep were!”  “Have you noticed how many service animals are around lately? Everybody and their brother have service animals!” …”I am going to to get a service sheep and wear a sign that says P.U.S.S. (Person Utilizing Service Sheep)”…this is too funny to keep writing!

#Everyday2015

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Dirty Dishes Prove I Feed My Family

22 Friday May 2015

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Cleaning, Washing Clothes

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Homemaker, Washing Clothes, Working Mom

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I had a two massages this AM and am trying to force myself to clean and am struggling I work training at the bar tonight from 4-9. I am running out of time to blog today so here is a quickie. This quote pic spoke to me. It was sent to me by a great friend if mine and it fits me so well!

I am overwhelmed but excited for my new journey. With my massage business taking off, now being the only employed massage therapist there, and now bartending. I just need to figure out how to not be tired all the time and use every second to keep up with house work…or I need to hire a cleaning fairy..aka house cleaner. I have texted my friend who used to do my house I just have to commit to sending my hard earned money on her…

Anyway, my momma is here to chat for a few before she gets the kids and I head to the bar for work training 🙂

Have a great weekend and enjoy your life folks! Some things can wait, don’t over stress for everything to be perfect! Live Laugh Love!

#Everyday2015

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I Don’t “Yell” Yell but if I Don’t Yell At All No One Listens

22 Friday May 2015

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Family, Love, Raising Kids, Washing Clothes

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Be You, Family, Parenting is Hard

So today I started the day with almost setting my office on fire. Yes I mean my massage office and yes I mean fire. I was heating a heat pack made of buckwheat. The heat pack is probably about 10 years old and I had kind of haphazardly put them in there for today, so between the old heat pack and/or microwave I had a  red ember in the microwave. I am glad that I had started it went out to get my client and brought them back to the room. That is when I discovered the smokey smell and stopped the heat pack from /burning. Smoke smell filled my massage room and we rescheduled said massage. Good thing I came back when I did and good thing my client wasn’t on the table while a fire was started! (I burned my house down when I was 15 it was a grease fire though. Me and fire don’t mix but today the building was safe!)

This was the first thing that happened today! Woohoo!!! Great start to my day right? So then I came home to call a company, that lacks follow through and customer service, about a mistaken medical bill. I have been getting these bills since January so this is my monthly call to tell them they need to submit correctly and apply the right discounts since they screwed up and please call me back with a status update when it is done. So that I don’t get another bill about it next month! That only took and hour on hold and on the phone with a rude customer service rep who doesn’t follow through or do her job! The Customer service at this company is horrible!

Then when the kids came home today they instantly fought over the last little bit of homemade lemonade the girl and her friend made the other day. The Boy swept in a poured himself the rest before the girl could get her glass out. Seriously I am so frustrated with the culture of selfishness in this house. I have taught the kids to ask for what they want be direct and speak up for themselves. I am a people pleaser and am shy to speak my mind sometimes and I don’t want this selfishness for my kids but I don’t want the opposite doormat or shyness either. I will not put up with this selfish behavior any longer. So what the fuck am I going to do about it? I have no fucking idea!

Do I force them to do chores? Do I act the same way they are acting and only do things for myself like making just my dinner cleaning up just my mess? The other day I heard that since the mess around the house was not ‘their’ mess they were not going to clean it up. Really? Since when is dishes from dinner and dirty towels that needed washed and floors needing vacuumed just “my mess”? I take offense to that! But how do I teach them differently?

My thoughts are that I need to give them chores and teach them responsibility that doesn’t just involve themselves. They need specific, measurable chores that have deadlines so they see that all the work is not just mine, especially now that I am working again! Follow through and consistency is key for this. Follow through is where I struggle. Sometimes it is just easier to do it myself. If the Hubs hears me yelling at the kids (and by yelling I mean explaining loudly or some redirecting them I don’t ‘yell’ I would never ‘yell’ yell! [cough cough, throat clear] It frustrates him and he is trying to have my back which I do appreciate but I hate that they may feel ganged up on. So I hate to say anything because then they get yelled at from me for not doing what they are told and then from him for not listening to me. This must be normal though right? However, the do need to learn right and wrong and when to listen and follow directions. I guess maybe we need to be better examples or I just need to realize that discipline even just the yelling or redirecting sometimes hurts us parents as much or more like your mom always said right before you got the belt.

I don’t know sometimes it feels like I am so out of touch and have so missed the mark. And failed as a mom and a wife and a person in general but usually right around that time The Hubs or my kids do something amazing that reminds me that I am doing a good job. Today I got a text from a friend who reads my blog and thanked me for writing it and for saying things she cannot say and  it made me remember why at least one reason why I write this blog. It made my heart smile and boosted my confidence at least there is one person relating to what I am writing that is feeling like they are not alone in this thing called mom life. I can post about sex one day and then mom topics about childrearing the next! I love this blog! Have a great day everyone!

#Everyday2015

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