Let’s check in with our relationships. How is your reltionship doing? It is a good idea to check in with your husband or wife every now and then. A lot of times we don’t say things that maybe we should for fear of not being recieved well. The wife who doesn’t tell her husband that she really wants more attention when she is cooking dinner. Or the Husband who wants the wife to watch Deadliest Catch with him instead of painting he toe nails in the other room. Your spouse does not know if you don’t tell him or her what you want or need. Maybe there is something he said when you were out with friends that all though it didn’t .make you super mad but it kind of made you cringe and you want to set the record straight but didn’t want to blast it with your friends.
What are the good things? What is really working? Maybe she did something that you thought was really special and you want her to know you appreciated it but have been too busy to remember to tell her. Take the time to tell her! Schedule a meeting with your spouse. John Gottman would call it a state of the union meeting. Check in, follow up on an argument and make sure you both were heard. Don’t rehash your fight, just make sure you know what your mate wanted you to know and tell them what you want them to know about it. Sometimes you have to agree to disagree. For some people agreeing to disagree takes practice and work and patience.
The Hubs and I are doing pretty well. The Sex Love and Washing Clothes is helping, I think. I have to confess that we have not had full on Sex every single day. We have had some nights we were tired, some nights we were sick, TDTF, or angry and some that we just wanted to cuddle. I love those times. Having sex every single day just to do it was feeling a bit unnatural or forced. It was becoming a chore and not very enjoyable. Not that sex is not enjoyable all the time just sometimes you just need the moments to just be together. Then there are the nights you just need sex! I am still doing Sex Love and Washing Clothes everyday, it’s just sometimes the sex is traded for intimacy that is not sex. Sometimes the sex is raw and disconnected and amazing other times it is connection conversation cuddles and closeness. We have probably missed a total of 5-10 nights not having “sex” as defined as penetration intercourse.
Bottom line be connected in your relationship. Sex Love and Washing Clothes is to improve lives and realationships. Don’t judge yourself or compare your relationship with me or any one else’s relationship. Everyone is different every couple needs to go at their own pace. Balance (especially for women) is the key. Sexing, Loving and Washing Clothes is like a circus act like juggling a million things all at once. We want our family to be happy and have a fun full filling life. It takes work and every once in a while it takes a bit of an evaluation. So check in. Don’t fight or get defensive or accusatory during your state of the union conversation. Be curious where your partners head is and be honest. Include things you are proud of and stuff that is going well along with the things that may be bothering you.
Then have sex!