***Dammit, I didn’t finish before the end of May 28th Dad’s Birthday***
Today (May28) would have been my dad’s 75th birthday. I am having a rough day. I drove by the cemetery (I drive by it everyday) and started crying. I lost my dad almost 15 years ago I wrote about on the anniversary of his death January 6. Every year it seems to get harder and harder to not have my dad. The Boy even said to me today the he would have like to have met him. The Boy is really sensitive to my emotions, to everyone’s emotions, he asked me why was I mad earlier at another time today when I was crying. I said “I am not mad, I am sad. Today was my dad’s 75th birthday.” That is all I had to say and he knew, that is when he told me he wished he could have met him. It is hard for me to know that my kids will never know their Grandpa R. He was a special man. I can’t even explain it. How do explain a person to someone who has never met them. I really miss my dad!
Instead of getting all sappy and making myself cry again I am going to use this as an opportunity to really speak to all of you, my readers. Take care of yourself! My dad died of smoking. He had a brain tumor caused by metastasized lung cancer brought on by smoking since he was 9. I vowed that I would never smoke because it stinks and because it causes you to die. I made that decision as a young child. Then when I watched my dad die. As he progress through his disease I promised myself I would never put my family through that. Your family deserves you at your best for as long as possible. Smoking is not the only thing that kills people and steals dad from daughters. It could be alcohol, drugs, even golfing without sunscreen (oh no tanning, guilty as charged ok as soon as my tanning package ends in July I will be done!) It could be high blood pressure brought on by obesity, what I am trying to say is that you owe it to your family to be healthy!
I am sorry if I sound preachy. But every birthday that goes by without my dad, this is 15, I get sadder. Knowing all the things I have done and what I have become because of my dad, what he taught me. I think he would be proud. He didn’t teach me anything on purpose, he just lived, his way! I wish I had his confidence. He never looked for approval from anyone but he got approval from everyone! He was strong and a big personality but in the background for a lot of my life. One of my favorite memories was when I was in a pageant for The Parade Princess in my area. He escorted me during the evening gown part of the competition, he said to me back stage “I think you got it” my response was “Dad, don’t say that!” I didn’t want to think I had it, because I never had anything my whole life I rarely won anything, didn’t want to get my hopes up. I was crowned second princess which made me ecstatic I just wanted a seat on the float and a crown and I got it! Dad was right!
So Friends consider making healthier life choices! I am making a conscious decision to stop tanning and eat healthier, not drink and drive, or ride in a car with anyone who has been drinking, exercise more regularly and reduce my stress. Take care of me so my kids can have me for longer. My dad tried he quit smoking about 5 years before he died but it was too late to stop the damage already done! Don’t wait until it is too late! Take care of you! In turn you will take care of your family!
Be there for your family! Hug your dad for me please. And next time you see me if you know me I could use a hug from you in remembrance of my dad! Let me know what you are doing to be healthier and be around longer for your family. I am going to stop tanning (I so don’t want to say that I love tanning, but I love my family more and it is worth it to take care of them and be here! As much as I want to see my dad again I am not in too much of a hurry to get there) I have too much to do on this earth. Grand kids to meet, Grandpa R never met my kids, I so wish he had. Be there for your Grandkids, take care of you!
Take the time to take care of yourself!