Today we had a memorial to go to for The Hub’s ‘Grandma Great’ his Great Grandma, the Kid’s Great Great Grandma. The Hubs and his sister referred to her as Grandma Great. She was a sweet strong woman. She was 94, she recently moved rooms at the nursing home because she and her roommate would argue over the TV. She was feisty up to the end! She went to bed one night an did not wake up in the morning. The most peaceful way to go. She lived a long life.
I am sad for losing her. Today as anytime I go to a funeral or a memorial I also am missing my dad. There was a man there that reminded me of my dad. He looked like my dad with a belly. I was too shy to say anything to him. Even the wrinkles on his face reminded me of Dad. It probably would have blessed that man’s day to know that. Wish I would have said something.
Then I get sad for all the things my dad missed. The memories he never made in short life of 59 years. Grandma Great had 35 more years. My dad never met my kids, he never will meet his Great Grand kids or Great Great Grandkids. Never saw the Boy strap on pads or the girl lace up her first point shoes. Never saw me pregnant or rejoiced the day I gave birth or even walked down the aisle and said “I do”. Or did he? I want to believe we all have Immortal souls that live on with the living in spirit. My dad is there in my deepest moments and he is in the sun that kissed my face on my wedding day and in the sweat and tears that dripped from my face as I gave birth to my children. He has not been with me physically but I do believe he is with me to this day.
That is the faith that I have. When a dear friend lost her daughter I believe her daughter met my dad that day! Maybe this is a fairy tale or fantasy that helps me deal with death and loss. But I believe it is not a fantasy. I have felt the presence of many lost loves ones. Even The Hub’s Grandma who we lost years ago. She seems to be around the most, we connected on a level I never even understood until she passed away and I learned more about her from her husband who we had for a bit longer. I will forever hold this faith that I will never really lose my loved ones.
Over the years my faith has changed. My love for family and friends has not. We do, only have a limited time here on earth, we need to take the time to show our love and share our love with those we love while we can! It is sad to know someone young can pass away but it is no better when you lose someone who is old.
I am going to love on my family a little closer for the moments that I have with them. Nothing is guaranteed only this moment. So take it in and share it with the people who you are with. Love with wreckless abandon.