Monthly Archives: September 2015

Motivation: NEEDED

30 Wednesday Sep 2015

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I have a long list of things I need to do and even want to do, like get up early and workout and make the Hubs lunch and Breakfast before he goes to work. Eat right, exercise, Sleep well, drink less, meditate. I enjoy all of these things but what I am lacking is motivation and the get up and go to actually do it. I fight with myself in my head every single day.

In actuality it is that I need to do less and make priorities and do those things…Eat, Sleep, Exercise, and Meditate. But how do I stop doing something people have been counting in me to do? Or things that are really successfully or that I really enjoy doing when I doing them?….

#Everday2015

Need: Create Boundaries, Schedules, Plan and Menus Focus on My Why

28 Monday Sep 2015

Posted by in Be Present, Do Your Thing, Homemaker, Mom Stuff, Working Mom

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So I don’t know about this whole working mom thing. Going from a Stay at Home role to a working mom role has been tough. There are a lot of differences between being a Stay at Home Mom and being A Working Mom. I really don’t feel like I do much less at home now, being a working mom vs when I was not working. I just have more to do. I have to be more organized and I don’t have the time. For example, I used to wait until the down times to go to Costco, you would not catch me there on the weekend. But now that I have a day time job, but now, I have to go when I can go (and sometimes that is the weekend when it is busy). It is things like this that I was not prepared for when I chose to go back to work. I plan to to schedule my life better.

I My family is my everythinghave talked about this thought about it but it is time to actually do it. I found a few minutes of extra time tomorrow I will use that to sit down and plan life. I want to plan when to cook, when to shop, when to clean, when to work. I want to continue to do it all, I don’t want to have to sacrifice anything (but I do). I want to continue to volunteer at school (which is getting a bit less as the kids get older there is not as much that the teachers need, at least not this year). I want to keep the house clean and organized (not that I was very good at that even before I worked). I want to still have time for date nights with the hubs and of course have time to actually work and work on growing my business.

So here is the plan: Compress my working days and times, schedule a laundry and house work day and schedule a day to work on business and volunteer at school. Consider what amount of money I need to make each month and how to better utilize it. Figure out work logistics and make sure I set very good boundaries and am satisfied with work and don’t get resentful about my work.

I had a great massage this morning. My client was very appreciative and gave me great feedback. I felt trusted and like I knew what I was doing. Sometimes it feels like I am working so hard and the client doesn’t like what I am doing or I don’t know, and sometimes, they don’t get better or they don’t like what I do and blame me for it, or at least I feel like they do. Then I question myself like “do I really know what I am doing” Today I felt like I knew what I was doing. I have been doing this for almost 17 years and I have taught massage therapy and I really do know what I am doing! I like doing massage but burn out has been kind of setting in and I need to get back to loving what I do and that comes from having a better plan and better boundaries and more realistic expectations at work. In my work, I want to do more work with PTSD patients and more work with folks who are healthy but in pain or stressed and need my help to feel righted, like my client this morning! I would like to figure out where I can get a grant to do work with Military Vets who struggle with PTSD and re-entering the real world after being in or being trained to be in a war. I think massage is a valid and important piece of whole health and wellness!

I just want to do good work and I want to make impact on people who need me and want me. I want to be happy with my life and by my life what I mean “my life” includes providing support emotionally, physically, and now financially to my family! I also want to be able to take care of myself, my family’s mom and wife so that I can do the best that I can for them and for my clients! My family is my why. Why I do what I do is for them!

#Everyday2015

Go Seahawks!!!

27 Sunday Sep 2015

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Go Seahawks! We got a shutout today! The Hubs is saying he would have liked to see them put up more points but for me, I am satisfied with the W! Seahawks win and they held the team from scoring! Go Seahawks!

Just got a call from the Girl and she was saying the Boy is not being nice… I told her to tell him to be nice! She maybe is being oversensitive because he has a buddy with him and she does not…who knows?! I miss my kids but am having fun with friends and the Hubs!

We are repping the Hawks as hard core fans. Like we always do, we have a good time hanging at the Seahawks game and bonding around Seahawks and/or Football….

Today is a good day! Go Hawks!

#Everyday2015

Always Compete

26 Saturday Sep 2015

Posted by in Football, Kids, Live in the Moment, Marriage, Reboot, Seahawks

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The Boys team had a sad loss today. Played a tough game against a tough team. The Boy did well. The team as a whole was kind of flat. They just seemed a bit not there fully until after the first half! Oh well there will be one next week we can build on this loss and get focused and ready for the next team!

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Tomorrow at 8:45 we will be getting on the ferry to head for the Seahawks Home opener! I can’t express how excited I am!!! Real football that matters in Qwest Field! It’s time to get loud and proud and cheer these guys on to our first win! I have been so irritated with Kam Chancellor with his whole hold out thing but he’s back at work and ready to put it all behind him. Hopefully the team has gotten focused and are passed any issues they have with him and they can play as a team! I am glad the whole team is back together and that we will be taking the field tomorrow together!

Football is our thing, The Hubs and I! Can’t wait to spend the day with him, tomorrow, focused around football just like when we first fell in love! Can’t wait to fall in love all over again!

Go Seahawks!

#Everday2015

Am I Doing What Is Right or Working Too Much?

26 Saturday Sep 2015

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It has been a long Friday. I had 4 massages then worked 5 hours at the bar. Today, I had some time to think of what I am doing and why… I am trying to make my kids and family’s life better and make it so life is easier! I struggle with “am I working too much” or too little. Are my kids feeling neglected? Are they actually being neglected?! Being a working mom is hard. But then being a non working mom is hard when you have to tell your kids, “no, we can’t afford that” Can we ever WIN?!

I am going out with the Hubs tonight. Trying not to dwell on my insecurities and anxieties too much. We love each other and our family and we think we are doing the best we can with what we have! We love our family and love each other and love our kids!

#Everday2015

Pause To Stop Negativity

24 Thursday Sep 2015

Posted by in Be Present, Love

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So today, I took my car my Little Blue Saab in to get a new clutch! I went back to work earlier this year, in part, to buy a new car and that new car’s release has been delayed from the original estimate of Spring 2015 to just recently. Well, I was hoping to get the car before having to put in major repairs of the Saab. Well we finally waved the white flag and decided to get the Saab fixed, it just got to the point we had to do it before something broke bad. Which will be $3000+ once all said and done. We have never been the type to let problems get out of hand or drive around a broken car.

So as I dropped off the Saab today I was telling the service advisor we are waiting for a Cadillac ATSV he said, “we have one here, want to see it?” Woohoo!! There is such a car as the ATSV!! It does exist! So the Hub’s got to sit in it and test whether or not his shoulders fit in the Ricardo seats! And they do. So if and when the Hub’s and I decide it is a good time to buy a new car it is available.

So while there talking about and looking at the ATSV that is white (wrong color for us thank goodness) and does not have the carbon fiber kit either. Which, in a way, is good because if it was the color we wanted set up the way we want it, I may have a hard time driving my car home and might be very tempted to bring home the new ATSV. However, while there, and in the midst of all the excitement I forgot to give my key to the service advisor. So the long drive back to the dealership to give them my key!

PauseUgh, so frustrating! It gets so old and annoying making these stupid silly mistakes in my life! having ADD and the forgetfulness that comes with it, sucks! I so wish I had a normal brain, that didn’t forget simple tasks and steps to simple things or get distracted so easily. I get tired of the Hub’s bitching at me about why do I do these things. When will I ever learn to put the Qtip in the garbage and why didn’t I put the salt away… And I am tired of the annoying “special moments” that occur as a result of me getting offended and defensive. I know I have to work on my reaction and work on Pausing. I need to work on not reacting so fast and getting spun up so fast and defensive. (Not to point fingers but maybe he should work on it as well.) Something to work on, slowing down and focusing and then realizing that the Hub’s is not trying to be mean or attack me. He is just thinking that if he reminds me what I should do and maybe tells me how to do it in the future that I will be able to get it right next time! I so hope that one day I will not struggle with these things.

In the meantime I will work on Pausing. When I feel myself getting flooded or spun up or feeling attacked and wanting to respond defensively I will pause. To avoid the tendency to engage in a negative interaction. This will help frustration from both of us to dissipate or at least not escalate negativity. Try deep breathing and pausing when you feel your self getting flooded or spun up. This pause will help you to calm down and not perpetuate the negativity.

Pause

#Everyday2015

XXX- Just Fuck

23 Wednesday Sep 2015

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Today’s Hump Day Challenge brought to you by me being out of creative juices, tired and I am out on a date with the Hubs and this is what I decided we would do for our Hump Day!

Today’skeep-calm-and-just-fuck-me-7 Hump Day challenge is to just fuck your lover! Just fuck hard! Get your dick hard, get your pussy wet and insert cock into pussy and go at it. Doggy style, missionary, or any creative position you choose! Just fuck! Fuck hard and like it!

Enjoy your lover and Humping today! What is your favorite position situations or style… Pick that and do it!

Oh one more thing: have fun fucking!!!

#Everyday2015

June Cleaver Is and Always Has Been a Myth!

23 Wednesday Sep 2015

Posted by in Be Present, Cleaning, Family, Live in the Moment, Marriage is work, Washing Clothes

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Oh the mom/wife guilt I am feeling lately! I love my job I love my work. I miss being at home and having time to clean (not that I was super good at cleaning and keeping a nice spotless house), but I miss having the time to decide between running and cleaning. I miss being chipper and energetic when the Hubs gets home from a hard day and not being drained from my hard day at work. Currently at work my days are usually more emotionally draining vs physically draining, but still draining and hard in my body nonetheless. I want to be that balanced grounded happy wife and mom when everyone gets home with a smile in my face and dinner on the table. You know, like June Cleaver. But honestly I don’t believe she ever really existed  even in the 50’s!

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So come on Ruby back to reality. Your kids aren’t cheap and you have to work and help pay for your expensive hobbies and your kids expensive hobbies. I just need to learn balance! We all heard this before. The reality is I need to schedule my life a little bit better! Let’s start with tomorrow. Gonna try to get uo with the Hubs and write then, get kids off to school do a Costco run and then volunteer at school. Then dinner (what the heck are we having for dinner?) Then football maybe hip hop class and then date night!

I will conquer this life and do what Sex Love and Washing Clothes was started for. To share with you how I conquer this life! Yes this life has changed and will continue to evolve since I started this blog. Hopefully I will inspire some of you to live fully and stop with the “Mom guilt” and self doubt!

Ok no I am ready to get to bed with my husband, yes, it is still Tuesday!

Do Everything with Heart

21 Monday Sep 2015

Posted by in Family, Football, Usa football

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Today was what we call the Pee Wee cup. It is basically Interleague in our Pee Wee League. We have three teams at each division. In the Pee Wee Cup we play other teams at the same level as we are. We played the Gray team we are the Maroon team. We won 31-14. Our kids played really well. One kid, who happens to be the boy’s best buddy, scored 4 of our 5 he was on fire making tackles and really kicking ass today! The boy did really well too, he scored an extra point after one of the touchdowns. It was fun! It is always fun when you win.

Football heartI think you have to credit this win to the Coaches and the kids’ heart. The Hub’s is the head coach but he has another coach calling most of the plays, they did well. The Hub’s called the last play with just enough time to execute the play and score the touchdown. The boy running the ball, the boy’s other best buddy, crossed into the Endzone when the clock hit 0.0 seconds. The Hub’s is very good at calling a game. He’s mindful of the clock pays attention to detail and I just can’t say enough! I am glad that my son gets to have a coach that holds his players to a higher standard and who pays attention to detail and teaches the kids about how to play with heart not just what to do. He also is very good at teaching the kids respect. He respects them, yes he yells a bit but he doesn’t over do it! He also understands that yelling at a game is not a good idea. He understands if he teaches them well enough in practice that he won’t need to yell during a game and most mistakes during a game, yelling is not affective. I just think he is the best out there at this level. He also surrounds himself with good assistants, not that you get too much of a selection at this age. He is a good leader and I am glad he is getting a chance to impact these boys lives.

The Pee Wee cup is bragging rights around our league. It really means nothing. This year it happened earlier in the year which was good because last year we did it later in the year and our kids just did not play hard. They knew it meant nothing would not impact their playoffs or anything and last year there wasn’t even a trophy. We went to the Championship game they were more focused on playing the play off games and not the Pee Wee cup. Each year our teams are different and this year this teams heart is what will will them to win. This game was exactly that. What was really cool is players that have played on the Hub’s team before (they are now on the team up a level) came out to watch and helped with water and were ball boys on the side line. Our motto says “One Community” and that is what it is about. Older boys coming out to root on the younger and everyone being a team. It was a feel good day at The Pee Wee Cup tonight.

I hope that this feeling of community stays with these boys and they can support each other and be there for each other as they grow up. And I hope my team (The Hub’s team) keeps playing with as big heart as they have. This team has heart and that is so much more fun to watch. Sheer heart vs talent is so much more fun to watch! Do what ever you do with heart, it will out do talent on any given day! Live with your full heart put your passion into it and you will be amazed at what you can do when you do it with all your heart.

#Everyday2015

Fire = Proof I am Fucking It All Up! …or Proof That I Am Normal

21 Monday Sep 2015

Posted by in Family, Football, Kids, Live in the Moment

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Well it is already tomorrow, the Seahawks lost and I had to work and didn’t make a whole lot of extra money. It wasn’t a horrible time, The Hubs was there and some of our friends who we used to go to games with were there too. Not that I had a whole lot of time to enjoy them!

When we got home my mom who was w

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ith the kids said, “Well, we had an incident.” There was a long pause as she was obviously not super comfortable with what she was about to say. “Well, the Boy was in his room and got a candle lighter and he somehow started it and dropped it while lit on a piece of paper and had a little fire in his room.” Now, here are a whole lot of holes in this story. But let’s start with my reaction, How the hell does he not know to NOT play with a candle lighter in his room alone?! WTF?! What was he thinking? I am sure he was curious but really, WTF?! Doesn’t he realize as much as he wants to know “what happens if ___________” that, THAT is what causes dangerous situations and bad accidents? ….obviously not!!!!

Well, I obviously have some teaching to do because he could have burned the house down or hurt himself. Oh yeah, he put the fire our with his foot! No burns on it though! At least he thought to put it out unlike me when I was 15 and burned my entire house down!

I am really fucking up with my kids some how obviously! I really am trying not to fuck them up but I just know I am. I need to be a better role model or something! When the Hubs and I argue that is what he says they see me and my ADD-ness forgetting things and making stupid decisions and they get it all from me! Well, I am trying to make good decisions and teach them responsibility and hopefully they get The Hub’s decision making and attention to detail almost OCD-ness when it comes to thinking things through and being prepared…it is looking like the Boy may be a little bit more like me in this arena!

Well, at least he survived, no one got hurt and my house didn’t burn down! There is a spot on his carpet that is “stained” with fire damage about 6 inches in diameter maybe it will serve as a reminder to think things through and not get into stuff your not supposed to get into!

I am going to bed now! Forgot to post earlier and had a busy day of watching the early games, cooking for the family before I had to go to work (homemade Buffalo Ranch chicken wings, yum) and working at the Bar for the game…wish the Hawks could’ve pulled out the win!!!! Good night folks!

#Everyday2015