So today, I took my car my Little Blue Saab in to get a new clutch! I went back to work earlier this year, in part, to buy a new car and that new car’s release has been delayed from the original estimate of Spring 2015 to just recently. Well, I was hoping to get the car before having to put in major repairs of the Saab. Well we finally waved the white flag and decided to get the Saab fixed, it just got to the point we had to do it before something broke bad. Which will be $3000+ once all said and done. We have never been the type to let problems get out of hand or drive around a broken car.

So as I dropped off the Saab today I was telling the service advisor we are waiting for a Cadillac ATSV he said, “we have one here, want to see it?” Woohoo!! There is such a car as the ATSV!! It does exist! So the Hub’s got to sit in it and test whether or not his shoulders fit in the Ricardo seats! And they do. So if and when the Hub’s and I decide it is a good time to buy a new car it is available.

So while there talking about and looking at the ATSV that is white (wrong color for us thank goodness) and does not have the carbon fiber kit either. Which, in a way, is good because if it was the color we wanted set up the way we want it, I may have a hard time driving my car home and might be very tempted to bring home the new ATSV. However, while there, and in the midst of all the excitement I forgot to give my key to the service advisor. So the long drive back to the dealership to give them my key!

Ugh, so frustrating! It gets so old and annoying making these stupid silly mistakes in my life! having ADD and the forgetfulness that comes with it, sucks! I so wish I had a normal brain, that didn’t forget simple tasks and steps to simple things or get distracted so easily. I get tired of the Hub’s bitching at me about why do I do these things. When will I ever learn to put the Qtip in the garbage and why didn’t I put the salt away… And I am tired of the annoying “special moments” that occur as a result of me getting offended and defensive. I know I have to work on my reaction and work on Pausing. I need to work on not reacting so fast and getting spun up so fast and defensive. (Not to point fingers but maybe he should work on it as well.) Something to work on, slowing down and focusing and then realizing that the Hub’s is not trying to be mean or attack me. He is just thinking that if he reminds me what I should do and maybe tells me how to do it in the future that I will be able to get it right next time! I so hope that one day I will not struggle with these things.

In the meantime I will work on Pausing. When I feel myself getting flooded or spun up or feeling attacked and wanting to respond defensively I will pause. To avoid the tendency to engage in a negative interaction. This will help frustration from both of us to dissipate or at least not escalate negativity. Try deep breathing and pausing when you feel your self getting flooded or spun up. This pause will help you to calm down and not perpetuate the negativity.

Pause

#Everyday2015