The Boy came out tonight after we sent him to bedand was telling us about something that happened at school. He was weepy his eyes welling with tears and was trying to be tough and not cry but I could tell he was holding something back. So I was like “dude, something is that it?” He was talking about a boy at school who was laughing at him about the girl he kind of liked last year (and he may still have a crush on) but really that was bringing him to tears? There was more the lunch ladies separated him and all his buddies because one guy was yelling at lunch so he couldn’t sit with his friend.
Well, come to find out there are a few issues. The boys have drama! They talk about each other behind their backs but mostly they make fun of each other, that causes drama. It causes the kids like The Boy to be sad and sometimes cry and then that opens up more doors to be made fun of. The circle goes on. The Hubs took on the normal husband role of “toughen up boy those guys are jerks!” Which is valid but speaking as a person who was the one who was made fun of and the made fun of more for how I reacted, I really can relate to The Boy! It breaks my heart to see him hurting but I know the best thing for me to do is to let him handle it.
Here’s the advice we gave The Boy. Take everything to each other. If you boys get in a fight about rules during football at recess stop running to the recess teacher and telling on each other. Handle it all right their within the group. So The Boy was told by the Hubs “tomorrow before football (they play football at recess and many times get in trouble because one of them get angry and then go tell a teacher) gather up the boys and say ‘let’s keep this between us.” We went on with “if they continue to be jerks, stop hanging out with them!” Those boys are jerks, they need to learn to stop talking trash about each other and they need to learn to handle things “in house”. When you don’t you risk losing privileges, as soon as you include a recess teacher you open up the door for them to take the football away or make up new crazy rules! So they boy has a task to talk with the boys. If I know him (I think he kind of takes after me) this is a hard task. Being honest with the friends calling them out… We’ll see if he actually does it. I wouldn’t place a bet on it.
The Boy is sensitive. He has a soft heart and I like it. I don’t want him to change that. But I do want him to not let the Asshole friends ruin his day, or life or month or year or anything!!!
I hope The Boy felt supported by The Hubs and I but I hope he understands that he is in control of his life and who he is friends with and those people who are jerks don’t deserve his friendship! Sometimes Kids are so mean!