This is a bit of a long post today, I got on a roll and wanted to say a lot! Please share this post I am really a woman obsessed with wanting women everywhere to be comfortable in her own skin!
So I shopped for a bathing suit today! The Girl’s dance team will be at a convention at a water park today! My swimsuits that I have here at home are for the hot tub and really not to be seen in public especially since I have gained all the weight back that I lost this year! Even shopping online is depressing! I bought a super cute vintage pin up looking high waited bikini. I sent a picture to the Hub’s and he said it was cute! Yay, I thought he would not like it he is not normally a fan of high waited vintage stuff! Here is a similar photo:
I am much more curvy than this model but I think I can rock this bikini. What is tough is that my weight loss world is changing. Now my body is shifting. I have always lost and gained and lost and gained. This time of regaining formerly lost weight, I am gaining weight in different areas. So it is hard to predict not only what size I am but how things are going to fit. I want to accept my body I just wish I could maintain a weight. Don’t start lecturing me about calories in calories out and exercise ect! I know all that and I am trying! What sucks is that it is definitely more than just a math equation. I am not super unhealthy, I have lost weight and gained it back and I have gained and lost and stayed constantly unhappy with my body! Maybe this bikini will help me accept my more pin up body and less super model body! Can we please bring back the Pin Up look?
But wait, then there is my sister who can’t gain weight to save her life! If you could combine our bodies the two of us would be more happy. I don’t know how many times my super sincere and concerned friends have asked me how long she has struggled with anorexia. Then once I tell them there is no way she is anorexic she and I grew up together and I know how she ate growing up (the same way as me) and then I also know how she eats now or at least what she cooks for her kids and family. I also know she never talks about want to be skinny or loose weight or anything. She looks in the mirror and is as horrified as I am with her looks but because she can’t gain weight. If you call a heavy person fat that is an insult and we don’t do that. But for some reason people think calling my sister skinny and telling her she should be happy and lucky she doesn’t have a weight problem, that is okay and fine? Well, let me tell you she is offended and insulted and hurt by that. The same way I would be if you tell me it’s just a math equation calories in calories out! We bigger, weight struggling women want to look at the “skinny” girl and hate her because we wish we had her skinniness. We get angry at her for saying she wants to gain weight or even pissed when we see her at the gym on the treadmill we make assumptions and say she is anorexic or maybe has a drug problem or something. That is just as rude and should be unaccepted just as someone looking at bigger people at the drive through saying they should be at a salad bar!
Bottom line is we all should be happy with what we have. We are judging each other hating ourselves and being haters of those that have what we want. We can’t just appreciate that we are alive and healthy. Most of us are so concerned that we aren’t what we want to be. So instead of accepting ourselves or making better choices to get where we want we hate those who are! That is bull shit ladies! We deserve better! We bigger girls post how men want something soft to cuddle and love like there aren’t men who like thin, sporty girls? I would love the Pin Up girl look to come back but don’t let the skinny girl look go out because why should my sister have to feel the way I do when I look at a magazine as not the right shape or size or body type. Let’s try this: HOW ABOUT BOTH?! My husband would fight tooth and nail to prove I am the most beautiful girl in the world. My sisters boyfriend thinks she is. Who is wrong? I am curvy and volumpcious, my sister is thin and more sporty, but my man wants to duck me and my body that he loves the same as her man wants her body, for pretty much the same reasons, just different bodies. Newsflash ALL men like what they like. Most men like their woman for what they are! The he loves to see his woman naked!
When I texted her this morning about my woes of swimsuits fitting my body she explained how she understands my stress. Even though her struggle is less accepted in society she feels it the same and we shame her for that and we think it is okay. It’s not! No woman should look in the mirror and hate her body! But most women are offended when they hear my sister say that! Fat shaming is frowned upon and we combat it with the posts of how men like more to hold onto. But in turn we are putting down the skinny girls. Again, WHY? Why do we have to prove we are better by putting down someone else!
Could the skinny girls eat better lift weights to gain weight? Take weight gainers eat more carbs and cheeseburgers to put that weight on that we so covetedly want to take off? Maybe and maybe not! Maybe they have a health condition that keeps them skinny or a metabolic condition that makes it hard to control their weight. Could we fat girls go to the gym, eat less crabs and cheeseburgers to take off that weight they so covettedly want to gain? Maybe and maybe not! Maybe they have a metabolic condition that keeps them heavy or medication they are taking that makes it hard to control their weight. Could both sides of the coin accept themselves and each other and honor themselves and everyone else’s story? YES. Why can’t we have both supermodel skinny fashions and Curvy girl (Pin Up) fashions on the cover of magazines? All girls are pretty! Why can’t we sell fashions that fit all girls? There is no “one look” that will be cute on every body type. But we will need different outfits for different girls. Designers will have to make more looks learn how to create clothing for curvy and not curvy girls. Yes they will have to work harder! Not all body types are beautiful in all fashions. Depending on what you like. But you see what I am saying right?
One day, I will make a book, I would love to get my sister and myself and others who are different shapes and sizes and do a photo shoot. I would love a fashion consultant to dress us all in a great outfit that looks good on us, then a photographer to take photos of us in that look and then with nothing on. It would be a coffee table book so would be subtle naked photos. And it will prove all bodies are sexy! My sisters BFF is a photographer wonder is she would volunteer to get my coffee table book started? Anyway this is my rant for today! Time for me to get my work out in. I am trying to workout to be healthy not skinny! Here is the quote I will leave you all with: I am obsessed with becoming a woman comfortable in her own skin. And I am obsessed with every woman becoming comfortable in her own skin as well! Stop bagging on the skinny girls or talking about how that woman should be at the salad bar! We all have our own journey and we should honor the other woman journey! Let’s love ourselves and each other!
Your man loves to fuck you! Be it all your bones sticking out or all your curves jiggling. If he chose you, he loves it! You should too! Let that man’s love for your body spill over onto you and encourage your love of your body. Love yourself healthy. Appreciate what you have because that skinny girl on the treadmill next you is probably just trying to be healthy just like you! Yes there are many who struggle with eating disorders, yes, they are out there and exist if you have an eating disorder get professional help but realize taking care of your body and being healthy is a gift you give yourself. You deserve to be healthy, not skinnier, not heavier, not tanner, not better, just healthy. Love yourself by treating your body with kindness take care of it right! Trust healing processes and be patient with yourself! Love yourself healthy!!!