So the stress I Mentioned yesterday, I am ready to talk about. We found Lice in The Girl’s hair! Did the Chemical treatment, combed through her hair ect. The disease (is lice a disease?) has been going around the dance studio for a while I guess. We checked her hair back when the first outbreak occurred back in August and her head was clear. But a mom friend came up to me Saturday morning and said she thought she saw a little bug on the Girl’s face so I should check her hair. So I did and my greatest fear was realized! She had lice! So I treated her hair combed it out really well. When we got home I checked The Boy’s head and found some in his hair too. So I treated him and combed through his hair and then again combed through both heads this morning and will again before they go to bed. Then my mom came over and checked my hair…FUCK! I had it too. She only found one bug and no noticeable nits so maybe we caught it early enough to not have too much effort to manage it! So I treated myself had my mom comb through my hair and she found no other issues. We’ll see what it looks like tomorrow I guess.

I am told, “don’t worry, it has nothing to do with you, lice attacks everyone it does not discriminate clean or dirty…” Which sounds good and I have used that to comfort others in the past but…now that it happens to me I go “WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO?” I told the kids put your clothes in the wash everyday, take showers everyday wash with tea tree shampoo…the list goes on. When something like this happens to you (or at least to me) it mortified me! I am ashamed and want to crawl into a corner and cry and eat cake and feel sorry for myself. The Hubs just does not understand. I realize how irrational this sounds but it has crossed my mind to burn the house down would be easier than all the “quick tips” of putting everything in a plastic bag for two weeks or washing and drying pillows and everything just seems so tedious and so much and so stupid! It fucking sucks! I have probably spent 10-12 hours over the past two days just checking and combing and picking and flat ironing hair to kill the little fuckers! (Yes, it’s one of those days that it feels better to fucking cuss, so if my language is offense shut the fuck up and find something else to read because that’s how I am today. Sorry, I am not sorry!)

There are so many rumors are going around the dance studio related to who started it. Who is still itching and who has it now. I hope to god I don’t hear any shit being talked about me or my child if so, it will be time to find a new studio I can’t deal with shit like that. That (the gossip and drama) is one reason we left the last studio, I can’t handle drama and bull shit or rumors and gossip! Why can’t everyone just work hard, get the awards they deserve, support each other, and not have to talk shit about someone else to make themselves feel better? Anyway, this is my stress today! I hate this day I am so angry if the rumors are true that there are families who are not being diligent about getting a handle on this disease in their own families and then they come and share it with my family! I will not be part of the problem which is why I have decided to stay home today and fess up to the fact that my child had it and I am doing everything in my power to control this horrible thing!

Being a silver lining type person I am going to acknowledge at least this disease as horrible as it is not life threatening. The world is not coming to an end and no one is going to die! Lice is not a health risk for anything (at least I don’t think so) they are just a bother. A very gross bother! There are many families dealing with cancer or deadly childhood diseases and here I am freaking out about a little gross ugly annoying non deadly bug! When I think about it like that I realize I should relax a little as life could be worse! But I am such a stressball!

I try to keep myself from losing it in front of my kids I want to scream and cry as I am pulling bugs out of my child’s hair but I keep a “professional” mom face on. Just like it’s no big deal. I tell the kids it happens to everyone. Secretly I am dying inside! Then I get the don’t worry it happens to everyone type of support from some people and that just makes me want to throat punch someone (is it throat punch Thursday? No it’s only Monday). The Hubs doesn’t really understand why I am so stressed when I know that it is no big deal. That still doesn’t take the feeling of failure that I have away. I have somehow let my kids down because I let them get this… Yes, I know that is unreasonable just like burning the house down is, but I can’t help that is the feeling that I have. I try to remind myself “Don’t believe everything you think!” But it’s easier said than done. All the more reason to remind myself of the kids with cancer or even broken bones. As much as it sucks today it could be worse. So I will be grateful that we have lice not cancer.

#Everyday2015