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Today, as I parked at dance, I looked over at the empty bakery and thought, hmm…I wonder if I could open that up again and make it work? I need a business partner with capital, another bakery partner maybe two. One to bake breads and stuff and one to help decorate cookies and stuff. Then in the evenings we could do wine and cocktails… I know this is a pipe dream but I am feeling overwhelmed and not where I want to be so I am dreaming of something else that would stimulate me and inspire me not depress me with the reality that is.

My reality right now is I work two jobs. One I trained for and decided I wanted to be in high school the other a job that is easy and fun and makes pretty good money but I have to work at night when I don’t want to. I like to be with my family. I do dance a couple nights too so between working a couple nights, dancing a couple nights and then date night with the hubs I am never home! I don’t know what to do. Massage is hard on my body and unpredictable, bartending is easier on the body and also unpredictable but I work at night and on weekends. I just wish I could figure out what I want to do. Or how to get there.

I want to help my family financially, I want to be there for my family and be home when they are home! I miss them all! I want to buy my husband a car or at least make it so we can afford the payments and dance and sports fees without him stressing. I think we are almost there. But I want to be mom to my family to. The kind that has dinner on the table and smiles all around at mealtime. Not one stressing about having tobget here or there or forgetting that we already have something planed and scheduling something else! I am a bit down tonight.

I need to rally and be happy and exciting when the Hubs gets home so the Little bit of time we have can be fun and connecting and loving and everything he wants it to be!

I will try to be a little more positive tomorrow!