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Monthly Archives: January 2016

Proud Mommy Day

31 Sunday Jan 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Dance, Kids, Mom Stuff

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Don't ever give up, don't let your kids quit, Don't Quit, Let Go, remember the sadness and frustration but let it go

The Girl had her second day of convention today. She stated at her Grandma’s house last night so she would have a bed close. For the last 4 or 5 classes she wanted to quit. She kept saying I do t want to so the next class and I just told her you are going to keep going! I didn’t let her quit.

Lucky for her the last class was her favorite style (Lyrical) taught by her new favorite instructor. She pushed through only because I made her. I reminded her that if she would have given up, she wouldn’t have been able to do that. She wouldn’t be able to say she finished.

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Each masterclass they teach them a routine and as the 45 minutes to hour goes on they start to perform or show off their routine and perform it. Today, she performed in a big way! She put on a smile (a fake one sometimes) and tried to accomplish the style taught to her. Even when she didn’t want to be there she did a pretty good job faking it. I did think there were times she could have given it more effort but she really pushed through and achieved today. I am proud.

Her solo this year is to Linkin Park’s Iridescent which is a song about over coming. It says “When your lost in desperation, you build up hope but failures all you know. Remember all that sadness and frustration and Let it go.” The “let it go” part is where you over come. I explained to her today that that is what she did today. She overcame those demons in her head saying to stop it’s too hard. She pushed through and finished. There is nothing like the feeling of getting through it and finishing. She has not faced a lot of devastating circumstances so it can be tough to show that in her dance. Today I told remember this today you “let go” of the lain and tiredness and when you did that you dancing was beautiful. When you didn’t, when you were thinking you were too tired to keep going, you could perform.

Every class today she danced, she performed, it was the best I have ever seen her perform bit it made me proud she was trying to put it out there! She is growing and learning right before my eyes.

I have asked how do you teach a child to”push through” Answer: you don’t teach that, you just don’t let them give up!

#Everyday2016

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Leave It All On The Floor

31 Sunday Jan 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Dance, Dance Like No One is Watching, Do Your Thing

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100%, Hard Work beats Talent when Talent doesn't work hard, Hard Work Pays Off, Leave it all on the floor

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Today is the first dance convention of the year. And of course, as Murphy’s Law would have it, The Girl is recovering from being sick. Sometimes she gets this “I so sad mommy, rescue me” attitude and slumpiness when she has these long days and is either sick or something. I want her to put 100% energy in and want to work hard. She is currently in a tap class dancing with her hands on her hips! It is so frustrating to see her lack of effort.

Now, I do feel insensitive because she has been sick. And if she has strep throat or pneumonia and here I am saying she needs to try harder I will fell like the worst mom ever. Or she is just tired and looking for me to rescue her. She has to learn at some point in life that people don’t always care about your story. They don’t care that you performed badly at your job because you just had a huge fight with your best friend or that your dog ran away from home or that you have been sick all week! They just care that the job you were supposed to do for them was not done well! The judges don’t know or care if you are sick. If it was an audition for a job you just have to go out there and do your best! If you can muster that energy and perform well, the way you normally do so maybe it’s not as good but the effort is there, then you known you did all you could. You left it all on the floor! You either earn the scores you want but at the very least you know that you got the most out of that performance. If you are putting only partial effort you can be guaranteed you won’t. The judges may know you’ve been sick and don’t care or they will say, “Man there is a lot of talent wasted on the floor right now!” Or “Wow, that girl tried hard, she is sick and you can tell not 100% but her effort showed she wanted it!” You get respect for that! You earn respect for that! You can feel proud for that! You have got to leave it all on the floor!

Always do your best!

#Everyday2016

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Bittersweet Ending

29 Friday Jan 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Bartending, Working Mom

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Be brave, Bittersweet, Family first, Full Time Massage Therapist, Happy but sad, I loved my Job, missed my family

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Just got off work from my last bartending shift. It is bittersweet! I made the decision because I need to be with my family more. I’m going to still be a working mom but will only be working one job. I will be working full time as a massage therapist.
I have been a massage therapist for 17 years. I have taught and worked on many different arenas. Not to brag or be arrogant, but I am good. Nothing can replace or compare to years of experience. I am going out on a limb and trusting that I will fill up my schedule, I have never had the confidence to trust myself enough to not have a back up plan or something (the reason I was Bartending). I am pretty sure I will be fine. I will work 3 nights until 6:30ish. Mich better than not home until 3am! I can make my schedule so that I can drop the kids at school, oick them up from school and be home to have dinner as a family and out them to bed, the cuddle fuck or do whatever I want with The Hubs before we go to sleep at night!

I am so looking forward to this new chapter in my life and being a mom, professional and a wife. I  going to take time to take care of me as well as my family. You will read all about it!

Looking forward to a great life, full of family values, Business talk, dinners together and fun sex with my husband because I won’t be so tired!

#Everyday2016

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Worries Sick

28 Thursday Jan 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Mom Stuff, Working Mom

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Bomb, Cough, Essential Oils, Get Well Soon, Missed School, Sleepless nights, Worried sick about my sick kids, Young Living

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Both kids did go to school today. The Boy got The Girls cough, he really only had a fever earlier this week. The Girl still has a cough and had some achy calves this evening too. She has the first dance convention of the year this weekend. With the coughs and lethargy coming from the kids today after school both missed activities and I am considering keeping them home tomorrow still too! But I still have to work! I only have 3 appointments tomorrow, though.

I hate them being sick for so long. I hate to take them in to be told that it’s a Virus let it run it’s course but I feel guilty not getting them seen by a pediatrician. Especially when a little girl in our town died last week of the flu. So I may her listening to the Girl cough in her bed when the Hubs sleeps next to .e with the Essential Oil diffuser on with the “Anti Crud Bomb” blend in the diffuser! His cough has stopped…I may drag her in here to if hers doesn’t stop too. Pretty soon I’ll have the whole family in bed and no one will sleep…must put more diffusers on my list for nights like this!

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Anyway, I am going to check on the kiddos before I close my eyes for the night. I am so worried about them, I almost afraid to sleep!

#Everyday2016

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XXX-Watch Porn Together-XXX

28 Thursday Jan 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Hump Day Challenge, Sex, XXX

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Copy what you watch, Fuck for fun, porn and poking

Oops forgot to write earlier! …never heard that before have we? Happy Hump Day!
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I have even had this in my mind. As in I knew I was going wrote about this. It is another porn Challenge. I think porn is a good tool for monogamous couples tobuse to spice up their sex life.

So, pull out your favorite porno mag or just grab your laptop and cue up your fave porn website and scroll until you and your lover fond something that tantalizes you.

Enjoy your time together, maybe even try something you see in the pictures you scroll through! Have fun relax and enjoy fucking tonight!

#Everyday2016

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Bittersweet, My Last Tuesday Shift

27 Wednesday Jan 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Bartending, Be You, Family

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Full Time LMP, get back to family, Go to bed together every night, Last Late Night Shift, Love my family, Massage therapist, mom

Today is my last day bartending for my Tuesday night shift. So it figures it has to be scraping my eyeballs out slow! The kids were home sick again The Girl may need one more day to get healthy. The boy will be at school today his fever was down but he didn’t sleep last night. Sadly I think I am getting it! No! I don’t have time for that! I was under the weather last week, that’s all Ibhad time for!

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Anyway, my last Tuesday is going very slow, my back hurts and I could go on with complaints.  I am counting down the hours before I can crawl into bed with the Hubs!

Bittersweet night! Very uneventful. After Fridays shift I am hoping to gather some friends and have some fun after I get off work to celebrate my psuedo bartender retirement, for now.

#Everuday2016

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Mommie’s Growing Up

25 Monday Jan 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Family, Raising Kids, Working Mom

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Mom Guilt, Rest, Rest is the best medicine, Sad mom, Sick Kids

Sick kidsToday was a first, my first day leaving my kids home with Grandma sick while I went to work. It has gotten to the point that my job just can’t be rescheduled when the kids are sick. I mean it could but I don’t have anywhere to put those appointments that I missed. If they were puking or really really needed me I would have stayed home. My kids are getting bigger they are growing up and so am I. It was hard to leave them this morning. I hate it when they are sick. I hate having to leave them but, they survived and so did I. I think I feel like a bad mom leaving my kids when they are sick. It hurts my heart to see them sick and to see them in pain.

Both kids had fevers over 100 today when I got home for the day (I have been home in the middle of the day to check on them) they boy was at 103.5 earlier today The Girl was at 102.8 when she decided to take something for it. The Boy let me convince him to take some Tylenol when I got home. Both kids had fevers when they woke up this morning. I felt so bad leaving for work. I am so thankful my mom will come over and sit with them while they are sick.

They both just chilled at home. Watched movies all day with Grandma and took naps. They both are missing their activities tonight. They Boy had wrestling pictures and the Girl has her last team rehearsal before the convention this weekend. The Boy said to me when I asked if he wanted to skip pictures “I want to skip everything.” He sounded kind of pathetic and very sad and tired and sick when he said that. They are both sitting on the couch in and out of consciousness. I just want to swoop them up and hold them like I did when they were babies! It’s tough having sick kids. They are both cozy in my favorite spots on the couch I just want to snuggle them. I am glad they are resting.

Today is a big day in my growing up as a mom. I have a tough time with mom guilt. I know my kids were safe and fine with Grandma but I have a hard time not being there every second especially when they are sick. What if she misses something. What if I missed something and disaster happens when I am at work. I know I will think it would have been different if I was home, if a disaster does happen. There was a little girl, same age as my Girl, that died from the flu just a week ago. But I can’t be there all the time and my job is to take care of my patients. If I needed to, I would have been able to reschedule. I feel like I am growing into this working mom role. Balancing when they need me and when they need to be okay without me. My kids are great they can adjust and they will be fine. I want to grow well adjusted children and I think I am doing a good job. It’s the well adjusted mom that needs work.

So I am putting the guilt aside and I am going to go cuddle with my sick kiddos until they go to bed. They need rest and that is what I plan on giving them, that and love. It’s time for a Thieves massage for them both and snuggles and early bedtime. I love them I hope they get better fast! Tomorrow I don’t work so I can be at home with them if needed. If they do need me to stay with them it will be a first that they have missed more than one day for being sick, aside from the Girls concussion this is a first. More Theives and Sick oil blend for the kids. Sleep love and hugs

#Everyday2016

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Ask For Help

25 Monday Jan 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Homemaker, Marriage is hard, Marriage is work, Working Mom

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Ask for help, I love my husband, I shouldn't have to ask, If you see something that needs done, Just Do It, my mom said that, you have to ask for help

Today I feel like I am a bitter angry working mom. Last week I increased my massage schedule to take some evening appointments while still working my bar job Tuesday 6-close(2AM) and Friday (4-9P). I was at my massage office Friday at 8:45am, Sick on Thursday, Wednessday at the massage office 10am until almost 7pm, Tuesday had and appointment in a town 30 minutes away, and Monday at Massage office until almost 7pm again. I have also had to figure out when to cook dinner, when to clean up breakfast and lunch messes from the AM before we leave for school and work. Get the kids from school and to afternoon/evening activities and try to actually get groceries to make said meals I need to cook and clean up after. Oh yeah and by the way I am a wife too. My kids both have neck issues going on so most nights that we have time to sit and watch TV I am working on their necks or the husbands neck or his feet ect. I also need time to take a shower (which shamefully only happens about 3-4 times a week) and do do hair and make up, two days this week I went au natural.

Are you tired yet after reading that? Is it just me or am I doing way too much and have no time to clean house or vacuum or fold or put laundry away. Fast forward to this weekend. I make breakfast every morning for the fam Saturday the plan is to go right to batting practice for the boy, dance rehearsal for the girl, watch a movie after then go shopping for make up for the girl while the boy had to go to Fielding practice in the evening. Sunday it was make breakfast for the fam, take the boy to Little League try-outs because The Hubs was sick with a fever and by the time we got home the boy was also running a fever. After we got home the Girl and I took a run to the store for Gaterade and a few groceries to get us through the week. When I got back I clean up breakfast dishes, stove top and counter tops, made lunch (pasta) for the hungry family. Watch some of the NFL games on today (mostly through the mirror into the family room as I was cleaning the kitchen and cooking most of the day) and then Make dinner, boiled and BBQ brauts cleaned up the dishes and mess from that. All the while I was cleaning, folding laundry in between taking out trash ect, you know normal mom stuff. Now I am up blogging but waiting for laundry to get done so I can kill this left sock pile in the laundry basket. The Hubs went to bed early.

Please help meAll the while getting more and more bitter that I have had to been busy working as well as taking care of my family duties and no one has even offered to help out with the normal everyday stuff like dishes! Today I washed dishes left over from this week. We hand wash all of our pots and pans and Knives so there was a few stacked up from yesterdays breakfast Fridays dinner and even some prior to that. I feel so annoyed that the Hubs feels the need to point out things I miss like dropping a grape on the floor when packing a lunch but can’t help with the one pot from a random Tuesday night dinner that I end up washing it Saturday afternoon! I am turning bitter about working and still being the sole homemaker! Not to throw him under the bus, I don’t really ask him for help I just wish he would offer. Or at least see it needs to be done and just do it. I know I am not alone feeling like this I hear many moms say the same thing about the husbands even the moms who don’t work outside the home.

I created this though. I don’t ask for help. I feel bad asking for help. I am scared that he is going to judge me and say I haven’t been pulling my weight so he doesn’t feel the need to do anything because he makes 4 times the money I do which earns him the ability to only work 8 hours a weekday and I have to do everything else. In his defense here he has said “if you ask me to do something I will do it.” Which about 75% of the time he does. Many times I ask for a hand at something and I end up doing it because he didn’t get to it by the time I wanted it done, and I never told him when I wanted it done I just went ahead and did it. However, there is a big part of me that feels so annoyed that I even have to ask! Today as I stood in the kitchen cleaning the dishes and preparing meals the kids got all comfy on the floor when I walked out the family room even if I had time to sit on the couch and watch TV with them there was no where for me to sit because the kids got all comfy on the floor with our couch cushions and the other chair is covered with mine and the Hubs’ clothes that need put away. I was going to say thanks for saving me a spot but I wanted to stay quiet and not freak out at everyone for taking me for granted. But it did kind of stew in me and ended up coming out in an explosions later.

If he works late I try to make sure there is dinner for him or I will offer to cook for him when he gets home. He doesn’t think of that when I work late, but he is not a homemaker I can’t expect that of him. If he has a rough day I listen to him, it seems he gets annoyed listening to my frustrations of a long day, or he tries to tell me what to do instead of just letting me vent. I try to do things his way so his life is easier, I fail most of the time! I have a rough time doing things the way he wants them because my brain works so differently. However I try to make it so he doesn’t have to do anything, he works hard at his job I want home to be his rest place. I don’t ask him to even take out the trash (only occasionally) but honestly with the trash, he usually does take care of getting the garbage cans to the road on Monday morning. I want to be the wife that keeps his home happy for him but I don’t want to be the wife that disappears behind mounds of dishes and loads of laundry. I don’t mind doing it (I hate it but don’t mind) I just don’t like not getting noticed for it or not getting appreciation. Don’t tell me I have been distant when it’s because I am in the kitchen cleaning up especially when I come out of the kitchen I only have gotten half of it done! I need him to notice me working hard at those things. Maybe notice me in the kitchen and come chat with me while I finish, avoid critiquing me about how I am clean just come and keep me company. I do that with him when he has outside projects or is working on the cars and things like that.

I am working hard at being a happy homemaker and a happy working mom but I do need help. I need to stop thinking that the family will just do it, or will offer to help out when they see the mess or me working on it. They will happily sit and watch a movie while I vacuum right around them. Ask and you shall receive! Ask before you get pissed that you aren’t getting help. If you can’t ask leave a nice little note that says “I hope you enjoy dinner please show your appreciation by kindly cleaning the dishes including the dishes that were dirtied to create this meal.” That would probably work better than blowing up at them after they have watched you clean all day on Sunday while they watch two football games and napped off a fever.

I really need to figure out how to ask for help and how to get it and how to not get pissey when asking! I am feeling bitter and angry and I hate that! I makes me more bitter and angry! So time to clear my head! Start with a clean slate and go through and edit this blog as it is much of a rant I should edit out the part that throws everyone under the bus and focus on the solution and that is asking for help, and being specific. “Can you please wash the dishes before you go to bed tonight?” I don’t think “assigning chores” will work I have to be specific everyday because we all have crazy schedules and we just can’t do it that way. We have made agreement before like you do this I do that and it never works out one person always feels like the other isn’t pulling their weight so the other gives up. It needs to be daily and adjust daily depending on schedules. Maybe a white board where mom writes what she needs help with each day and everyone has to do a certain number of tasks that day.

When I am working only one job this will be easier. But as with every change and in the process of change life gets harder. One more week like this, hopefully we will make it through the week! Something has got to give or the Hubs and I will not make it! We have to make it! It is not an option. This is only temporary!!!

#Everyday2016

 

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Make-Up Scavenger Hunt Fun!

23 Saturday Jan 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Dance, Do Your Thing, Family

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Boys at baseball, Competition, Dance Make Up, Fun Times, Girly Saturday

Today was dress rehearsal and make up demo day for Competition season for the Girls dance team. I love love love watching her dance and am super excited about this season.

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The Girl and I went shopping for the makeup which the teachers decided to choose stuff that can be found locally. However everyone from team got there first. The girl and I went to 6 places purchased at 4 and still had to order eye-shadow online.

We still locked up some local colors and played with make up tonight! Now we are getting ready tobjabe another movie night with the fam!

Fun times on a Saturday night! So excited for competition season, that starts next week!!!

#Everyday2016

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Just one more

23 Saturday Jan 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Bartending, Family, Massage Therapy, Working Mom

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too busy to blog

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It was a full day at the massage office with 5 massages, followed by a 5 hour shift at the bar. Now, it’s Star wars movie night with the kids.

That’s all for today!

#Everyday2016

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