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Okay, I think I have decided what I want to do in life. I, as you all have read, am overwhelmed with my schedule working. I miss being a stay at home mom but I enjoy the benefits of being a working mom. I like getting some outside conversations, adult time, and feeling like I have something in my life the defines me, to lift my self-confidence to be a person to the outside world other than somebody’s mom or somebody’s wife. Not that it’s bad to be somebody’s mom or somebody’s wife, it just sometimes feels empty. Especially for an extroverted social butterfly like myself. The reason I started this blog Sex Love and Washing Clothes in 2015 was to inspire moms to feel fulfilled by being “just  a mom”.

However, after just a few months into 2015 the hubs and I decided, collectively, that we kind of needed me to work financially to help support our lifestyle. I was 100% on board with getting back into the workforce. I had decided to go back to work a couple days a week doing massage during school hours. Then when business was slow, that’s when I decided to try my hand at bartending. Which is fun and I really enjoy that job but now I am busy working during the day and work two nights a week bartending. I am overwhelmed and miss my family. I spend two nights a week and sometimes more away from my family when the kids are out of school and The Hubs is off work. I miss them. I had a break down last Friday after a day of massage and a mid shift at the bar. I need to be home with my family at least when they are home

So my decision is to do massage full time, and full time for a massage therapist is 20 massages a week. I will have to do a few evening appointments during the week but should be done by 7ish and still be able to see my kids after practices and maybe even have late dinner with the fam. I just want to be together with my family. The money is nice at the bar and doesn’t hurt my body like massage does, but I need to be with the Hubs and the kids. I need my mojo back and lately, its just not there. I know time with the family will do it. And I can sort of control when I work with my massage schedule hopefully enough to be able to be the volunteer mom at school and still make enough financially to make it worth it.

So there I made my decision. Now I just have to figure out how to break the news to the bar (Shshshshsh don’t tell them until I do please) That is the hard part. Do I keep a shift here and there, be a fill in wait to see how my massage schedule picks up, as it has been a slow time at the massage office, or completely quit. What if I can’t fill my massage schedule? Oh the agony of not knowing! I just have to be bold and be the best Ruby, the best mom and the best wife I can be!