Today was a first, my first day leaving my kids home with Grandma sick while I went to work. It has gotten to the point that my job just can’t be rescheduled when the kids are sick. I mean it could but I don’t have anywhere to put those appointments that I missed. If they were puking or really really needed me I would have stayed home. My kids are getting bigger they are growing up and so am I. It was hard to leave them this morning. I hate it when they are sick. I hate having to leave them but, they survived and so did I. I think I feel like a bad mom leaving my kids when they are sick. It hurts my heart to see them sick and to see them in pain.
Both kids had fevers over 100 today when I got home for the day (I have been home in the middle of the day to check on them) they boy was at 103.5 earlier today The Girl was at 102.8 when she decided to take something for it. The Boy let me convince him to take some Tylenol when I got home. Both kids had fevers when they woke up this morning. I felt so bad leaving for work. I am so thankful my mom will come over and sit with them while they are sick.
They both just chilled at home. Watched movies all day with Grandma and took naps. They both are missing their activities tonight. They Boy had wrestling pictures and the Girl has her last team rehearsal before the convention this weekend. The Boy said to me when I asked if he wanted to skip pictures “I want to skip everything.” He sounded kind of pathetic and very sad and tired and sick when he said that. They are both sitting on the couch in and out of consciousness. I just want to swoop them up and hold them like I did when they were babies! It’s tough having sick kids. They are both cozy in my favorite spots on the couch I just want to snuggle them. I am glad they are resting.
Today is a big day in my growing up as a mom. I have a tough time with mom guilt. I know my kids were safe and fine with Grandma but I have a hard time not being there every second especially when they are sick. What if she misses something. What if I missed something and disaster happens when I am at work. I know I will think it would have been different if I was home, if a disaster does happen. There was a little girl, same age as my Girl, that died from the flu just a week ago. But I can’t be there all the time and my job is to take care of my patients. If I needed to, I would have been able to reschedule. I feel like I am growing into this working mom role. Balancing when they need me and when they need to be okay without me. My kids are great they can adjust and they will be fine. I want to grow well adjusted children and I think I am doing a good job. It’s the well adjusted mom that needs work.
So I am putting the guilt aside and I am going to go cuddle with my sick kiddos until they go to bed. They need rest and that is what I plan on giving them, that and love. It’s time for a Thieves massage for them both and snuggles and early bedtime. I love them I hope they get better fast! Tomorrow I don’t work so I can be at home with them if needed. If they do need me to stay with them it will be a first that they have missed more than one day for being sick, aside from the Girls concussion this is a first. More Theives and Sick oil blend for the kids. Sleep love and hugs