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I work so hard for my family! I try to incorporate things for myself on top of that. Self care is important. I believe it is more important than dusting and doing dishes sometimes too, sometimes it’s not. I am so defeated when I am told that what I do is not good enough. Sometimes (lately a lot) I have felt that all that happens wrong is always boiled down to be my fault! I forgot to do something or did something wrong or didn’t do something… So that makes it my fault ultimately. The list goes on and it is ultimately my fault!

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A marriage is a partnership. Both partners have their jobs. One is to be fun loving and keep things light and happy and the other is the attention to detail partner to make sure bills get paid and accounts are not over drafted. In the end it balances out. Until one partner decides that they don’t like their job. Or that their job is heavier and ate tired of carrying the other through those situations and tells the other partner to be more like them or else. Well that just happened with me and the Hubs! I am flaky and forgetfully and try to do too much all at once. So things get forgotten or only done part way and left! The Hubs thinks of this as an attack on him and the family.

I don’t know what is going on here. We are struggling and I don’t know how to right this ship. I am feeling defeated and want to give up. Climb in a hole and cry until its over. I feel like we have gone back in time 3 years to when things were really bad. The only thing that has changed recently is that I started working full time again, I quit at the bar, that was supposed to make itnso I had more time tondo things around the house and be with the family. Am I destined to be a stay at home mom? Would that help? Does the Hubs need to lighten up on me? Or do I need to just be better?

I am confused and lost and sad. I just want it to be fixed! And I don’t know what to do I can’t just “be better” if you are a person who is forgetful and trying their hardest and still not doing well enough for your situation around you, you understand where I am at. I can’t live up to the expectations that I am held to. I am a failure and not good enough! Do I just have to go back to focusing on sex everyday? Things seemed better then!

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