Happy Thursday. Today I had a one to one meeting with someone in my BNI group. I try to meet with someone in my group at least once a week. I am trying to get to know everyone in my group. This week during this one to one I realized we had more in common in our person life journeys that have got us where we are in life and business. A few years ago right around when I turned 30 I went through a shift in my thinking. You have all read the shift in my thinking that I am speaking of. You see I grew up very prudish, very sheltered and not know how to make decisions for myself. I grew up in a church that taught me what was right and wrong according to their interpretation of the bible. I still struggle with the ideas of what is right and what is wrong. It is hard for me to figure it out sometimes. This person I met with has recently gone through a change in the same way. He and I compared stories of what we were thinking and what lead us to this change. I read a book called “Dance of the Dissident Daughter” by Sue Monk Kidd and that lead me to start exploring my religion and spirituality.
I believe that we all need to focus on what is right in our lives. You live your life not your parents or teachers or leaders of your chosen groups. No teacher, church, race or religion of any kind have the authority over you. You can decide what you believe and what is right. You are a grown ass woman or man and you don’t have to please anyone. When I was younger I was always trying to be a people pleaser. Always wanted to do what is right and checking from one self help book to another only to find out that they all contradict each other. By the time I turned 30 my new life moto became: Fuck It! I have nothing to prove to no one except myself! MYSELF! The same is true for you! You have no one except yourself to make happy and be content with. Hopefully your spouse is already happy with you, hopefully they won’t require you to be someone you are not! But my point is do what is right for you! If you do what is right and you treat other people the way you want to be treated then you will be fine. You just have to keep in mind that if you go from being a people pleaser to being a healthy strong person, others around you may start to get a little uneasy, if they were controlling you….
My favorite subject from our talks today was sex, I know very business like but, don’t judge! Many people have a predetermined set of rules in regards to sex. Most of us who were raised in a church tend to shy away from or and are scared of sex. Many religions teach that sex is “good” but only at certain times and certain ways. Sex has liberated my marriage. Sex is the reason my husband and I are still married. God made our bodies the way they are and I believe he wants us to feel pleasure, and sexual pleasure should not be excluded. You all know that I have said that there are no rules. If it feels good to you and your partner by all means do that as much as you two want to. If everything is consensual and all parties are on the same page why the hell not?!
The Hubs and I have had a rough few days. We have been arguing about petty stuff, we are really overwhelmed. Today I wrote him a text that said “let’s start over. Let’s start with having sex everyday for the next 7 days.” He responded with “that’s a good start” Having sex everyday bonds two people together in a connection when you do it with the intention. It’s a powerful connection! I do believe that you can have sex that is not about connection as well. I don’t think that is bad I just believe that sex between two committed loving people is so powerful for a relationship. Sex for just the physical aspect of sex can be really refreshing and good for your individual soul as well. Regardless, sex is good and I am a strong advocate of it!
So this is what I am saying. If you are in a committed relationship, use sex to strengthen it! I do not believe you can build a relationship on sex but I do believe you can keep one together with sex! (But who knows, maybe you can, just see what happens.) I say that because good sex is the only reason mine is still together and we are still strong in our marriage because of good sex. It takes work to be married. It takes connection and what better way to get connected. So go and save your relationship start with my mini challenge of sex everyday for the next 7 days!! And forget the judgmental words from people from past lives and prudish individuals or social standards. You have control in this life of yours. Do what’s right for you. It may be different than what is right for me or someone else. Just do YOU!