Today is not going as well as I want it to. Lack of motivation struck me down. I got super tired and sat on the couch! This Fucking couch!!! I want a new couch that is great for entertaining but sucky for cozying up and napping on. Especially on mentally tired mornings like today.

Anyway, I have been trying to get in touch with a Chiropractor. I am currently working from home but want to connect with this Chiropractor because he has a very successful practice but is not using massage regularly with his clients. He is super busy right now, and I am super slow! Which is why I want to work with him. He was gonna call this afternoon but he got to busy. He just texted saying he was sorry and will call tomorrow. Ok, don’t lose hope yet, maybe we can work something out! I really hope so. I need something to spark my business.

My spark in general, although I have some good ideas and goals, is very dim. The Hubs is money stressed the kids year is about to get expensive and this is a busy time of year. I’m stressed. I have considered looking into doing some subbing at the school district to fill slow days but I can’t run 2 practices and work at the school. I am feeling like I’m falling in the Ruby rut of wanting more but not having the motivation or focus or direction to follow through.

I am second guessing everything from my business, my parenting to even my massage. I was trying to go have some retail therapy yesterday and lost the perfect credenza for my massage office. It was $100 more than I originally wanted to spend but was also $100 off of the sale price and it really was perfect size, color and everything. For some reason that event deflated my sails! Why? I really want my business to thrive and be perfect but now I go back to still looking for a “Champagne Budget” piece if furniture when I have a “Beer Furniture Budget”.

Today is just a blah day I need to break this funk. I have done one load of laundry, got myself a massage and chiro adjustment and that’s about it I feel drained and tired and I just want to nap but I wish I had energy to go run! It will come need to stop beating myself up!