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Monthly Archives: April 2018

Porn vs Plot

12 Thursday Apr 2018

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Hump Day Challenge, Just Do It, Sex, Sex Love and Washing Clothes

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Hump Day, Hump Day Challenge, Porn, porn and poking, Relax, Sex

couple watching porn

It’s late but we need a Hump Day Challenge. It’s tough because the Hubs is gone right now. I have struggled with Hump Day Challenges lately. Our lives have been busy and the relationship is tough when you feel overwhelmed and stressed and that makes sex tough. When I started this blog it was to capitalize on our great sex to ground our marriage in. But lately the great sex is not coming as easy, our kids are getting older, staying up later (our bedrooms are in a line) they are more interested in what we are doing and they are busy multiple sports competitions and involved in school projects etc. Makes a sex life tricky! So many excuses! So here we go Ruby it’s time to get help. I pulled out my drawer in my night stand and saw my superhotsex deck by Tracey Cox. It’s a deck of cards (flash card size) that have suggestions of sexual session topics. Very interesting and detailed! Use tools like this to spice up your sex life! Don’t be shy get open minded and let down those walls of judgement!

Today I drew randomly and pulled a “lust lessons and fantasies” card titled Porn Versus Plot. I have written a few Porn and Poking Hump Day Challenges so this is the direction we are going to go again. If you have your own pull those out and put them in the DVD or Blue Ray player or whatever device you use. Some people have a subscription to a magazine or website or others use free sites such as Worldsex.com. Pick one a motion picture version. Male fantasies tends to be more direct up close and getting it on very visual focused on the act of sex and the physicalness they usually don’t care what the people look like as long as they see dick and pussy or even up close girl on girl. Women on the other hand usually prefer at least a little bit of plot and romance and pretty people. They want to see a hot guy come up and be romantic watch him licking her pussy and other tantalizing pleasurable fore play actions, where as the men typically gravitate right to the sex.

My challenge to you is to grab your laptop or pull up your videos on the big screen if you prefer, and find your favorite scene. Scrolling through a website works well for this because you have the thumbnails to preview what your clicking on. Watch a few scenes feel free to click away if you land on one that you don’t like. (If your new to porn it will be when you both get warmed up and stop feeling weirded out by this exercise) Choose what you like. If the site you are on has a section for categories it may be easy to pick out one. Each of you pick your favorite category and possibly your favorite video. Note to the opposite partner the videos she/he chooses are what turns her/him on, so take notes on what you see and what you hear for future reference.

My suggestion is you both choose a video once you get enough of each others decide on one, maybe one of the same you chose or pick a new clip to watch and copy what you see or at least start to copy what you see. Maybe he starts going down on her and he goes down on you then you take off on your own sexcapade! The sexual energy you will feel from the movie and each other should be enough to take you through your whole sex session into a very fulfilling orgasm. You may not make it that far you might want to watch a few less warm up videos, use your judgement.

Remember to relax. If something comes up that makes you or your partner uncomfortable, turn it off because it’s not for you. Don’t ever pressure your partner to do or see things that make them uncomfortable! If you like it and your partner is cringing…still, turn it off! Talk about it later but tonight is for you and your partner to have fun and use the fantasy aspect of watching porn and figure out what you like. Maybe you will learn a new technique. Don’t be judgmental, if people in the movie are doing things you don’t like, don’t judge your partner for liking that, maybe they can teach you how to like it so be a little open minded but be honest with each other. Communication is important. Don’t get pissed at your man for getting turned on by two hot girls with one man. Just because he enjoys the fantasy on the screen does not me he is going to to act it out later, nor is she fellas! Trust is important porn can be used as a very good foreplay tool if you let it.

So go have some fun take your time and enjoy each other as you play voyeur and see what you like and play out some of those fantasies in real life!

Go fuck and be merry!

#HumpDayChallenge2018

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Monday after Vacation

10 Tuesday Apr 2018

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Be You, Relax, Self Care, Take the time to take care of yourself, Working Mom

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Family Vacation!, give yourself grace, hangovers are normal, Marriage takes work!, Self Care, Take the time to take care of yourself

sometimes

Today is Monday after our much needed and very relaxing vacation. Am I the only one who has a weird lull after vacation. I usually plan that Monday off to be able to regroup unpack, do laundry etc. during those days seem to be kind of depressing, the sad reality that you just don’t have that elated vacation feeling like you can do everything and fix all your problems just after one week off. You are met with the real life situation and now have to take action or you realize you thought it out and solved the problem but forgot your biggest road block is…reality. Or maybe you’re like me and decide you will be different. This time you will unpack right away keep the clutter gone and not let things pile up but then you realize you bring a pile with you back from vacation. And as much as the sun lured you into believing you were a changed woman who would relish at the opportunity to be proactive with laundry you come home to realize that it still doesn’t make your heart sing the way that sun on you cheeks and the warmth on your skin did. You realize you are still you…wait is that just me?

Then to top it off for me the Hubs left for a work trip today as well. I do want to admit that I know the reality that if I didn’t live with The Hubs I would either be on TLC’s Hoarders or My 600 Pound Life. The way I treat myself when he is gone is absolutely astounding and disgusting. I let myself eat crap, I let my kids eat crap. I count down the minutes until he leaves to have a donuts or eat a whole large pizza. Today after weighing in last night on my first day of my weight loss challenge I had a chocolate Easter Bunny for breakfast (I told this to my girlfriend and she laughed out loud at me because I said I ate a Easter Bunny for breakfast) She was probably confused because of my low carb diet she probably was laughing out of shear disgust that I may have eaten a real bunny like maybe roadkill cafe style or something. Then I fed the kids Taco Bell for dinner with a side of jelly beans and yes I had that too. I had a list of chores a mile long I got a couple started maybe one done but really it seems like I still have a list a mile and a half long.

I spent a lot of time on Facebook today. Am I bored? Do I need attention? Am I sad or lonely. Yes probably lonely the kids were at school the Hubs is away and I have spent the last week with two or more extra people in the same house with our family. It is quite a change. It’s like a crazy morning after or weird hangover. When the kids used to go to Grandma’s for the weekend when they were little they would come home with these crazy cranky attitudes. I always called it the Grandma Hangover. (One Grandma got pretty offended by that term) I seriously believe in this though and now I think I have the vacation hang over. Not puking from drinking although I had one of those the other day, it’s a weird crazy let down from Vacation!

How to combat this? Well two weeks ago in my therapist’s office I scheduled my next appointment for tomorrow. Thinking the Hubs will be gone it will be after vacation I might need time to process how it went how to proceed with the week (or it may have been her only opening for the next two weeks) but I feel like I kind of need it. When the Hubs is gone I get a lot of time to think. Which I don’t take often enough and that day after vacation I am always filled with thoughts so doing this all at the same time is different for me. One therapist told me one day to allow myself to be me give myself more of what I want and my response was “I don’t even know what I want” I am too busy being wife and mom and make them all happy I don’t think of me.

Dude, you would think I have some really messed up mental health state right? Schizophrenia or maybe BiPolar or even clinical or manic depression but no. I don’t, my message here is that I need a therapist to help me process, and I have no diagnosed condition. I know I a m not alone in this. If left alone I may create some horrible story about why I feel this way. What did my mother or father do to me in childhood that made me like this. What did the hubs say that made me so angry or what did he not say to make me so sad and lonely. That’s called blame and, folks the reality in my uneducated opinion is this is what real life is. You don’t have to be schizo or even clinically depressed or diagnosed with any psychosis to experience some mental health struggles. To get help or even need help with a counselor or a self help book or meditation trainer is not a sign of weakness or breaking down to the mental condition it is taking control and teaching yourself how to handle the mental condition associated with real life.

I am not saying there is no diagnosed psychosis or that a patient can just decide to snap out of it or fix it with out drugs or treatment, what I am suggesting is that this condition we call life sometimes does not need a diagnosis to need treatment. Get that treatment. Go to a counselor or talk to your pastor or a good friend. Don’t self medicate, and don’t beat yourself up internally with your words or worse by hurting yourself or anyone else for that matter! Find what works for you, if you don’t you may push away those you love by blaming them or by just being withdrawn. Go exercise what I didn’t do today. Eat right the brain needs fuel to process emotions in life. Take care of you. One step in self care is to take that vacation another is to get back to taking care of being healthy when you come back from vacation. Sometimes Self care involves mental health counselors, massage therapists to help with your pain or your stress or to just give you an hour of time away. It involves nutrition, exercise and brain work. Don’t be afraid to do it, figure out what it is that you need for your mental health and be your mental health advocate. Always do your best it is okay to take time to figure it out but figure it out, don’t give up!.

I don’t want this to turn political, which it kind of did for a minute we need to take care of our mental health because that is who is taking care of our families and kids. Whatever your role is, your kids need the best mom, dad, brother, sister, uncle, or grandparent that you can be your family deserves the best you! I tell mom’s all the time, don’t you want your family to have the healthiest mom they can have, don’t you think that mom will be better than the tired run down ill taken care of thing you are? Treat yourself the way you want your family to be treated! Take care of you, you owe it to them!

#Selfcare2018

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Take the time off!

05 Thursday Apr 2018

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Uncategorized

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Vacation gives you perspective of why you work so hard! You work hard to have the best life with those you love the most!

It’s day 6 of vacation for the Earl family! It has been so nice. Escaping reality is always good! The Hubs had been quite stressed befor we left! He needed to get away, we all did. Sometimes you get so burried with bills and work and time that you don’t have time to breathe and you can’t see the reasons why you do what you do. What’s the freaking point? When all I have to do is get up tomorrow morning and go to work then take care of what seems like an ungrateful family? To go to bed so tired and have “nothing” to show for the work I put in for the day. Sometimes adulting and life can get depressing. Especially if you don’t take time out and enjoy it. Sure, when you take that time off, you may end up with less money in the bank or a bigger credit card balance but how you feel matters more. Making memories with your family remembering that you like spending time with them. I promise you do!

My message is, yes life really sucks sometimes. The grind the lack of appreciation especially from your kids that you go through everyday! I promise, it’s worth it. You work to live and part of living costs the money that you make working but that’s why you work. Your bank account will not matter when sitting on your death bed or when you watch your daughter drive off to college.

Don’t miss the opportunity to enjoy the life you are making for your kids. This is how you appreciate your family, you spend time!

Be grateful, not every moment is promised! Be responsible, pay your bills, but don’t forget to budget time and money to enjoy your life that you are working so hard for!

I am so appreciative of the hubs who takes care of the adult things so I can dream and plan these forced times for him to take time to enjoy. Yes, sometimes I have to force him to take time out of being an adult! These moments we remind each other that we balance each other. That’s why we were attracted to each other in the first place. I love having the moments with my family!

#Springbreak2018

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Much Needed Vacation Update

02 Monday Apr 2018

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Uncategorized

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Hello from vacation! I want to get back to blogging and maybe vacation is the best time to get back into it. Problem is, writing takes time! Good writivacationsng takes more time and editing, even more. I want to write more. I also want to work out more and I want to spend more quality time with family. How do I get that balance in my life? Who the fuck knows! So many topics in my head that I want to write about, but not enough time.

Anyway, it is Monday of vacation, we have until Friday! So 4 more days here. We really needed a break from reality. Being at the in-laws house is a nice way to escape adulthood. Hopefully it will recharge us enough to accomplish some much needed relaxation and energy to rehab our lives, relationships and psyche in general. So far so good. It’s nice to be less on edge, we were getting to the point that everything was an emotional break down and it only took something small to open up a great big fight!

I am going back to vacay right now. I am hoping to gather as much good juju in my life and love and family. We really needed it! It’s time to be honest with ourselves and take time for ourselves and be grateful for what we have. I love my family and love my life and am happy to have the opportunity for all of us to enjoy each other!

#Vacation2018

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