Happy Monday SLWC-ers! This post is coming to you from our rented Hertz Hendrick SS Camaro. The Hubs and I are road tripping to visit a friend today. We took our family on vacation to see their Grandparents and we have friends who live a few hours away. Everytime we come to the in-laws we always consider this road trip but have never done it. Since we’re all in quarantine and can’t do much anyway we figured this is the best trip to road trip it.
What I have noticed about this vacation so far is that I really needed it. It is no secret I have not been doing well with this whole quaratine thing! I am surrounded by people who I don’t feel really understand what I am lacking and why I am so off kilter. When you go from seeing and connecting with people everyday to only seeing your family it affects you, and for me it has been a negative affect. For some it has been super positive, they are living their best life and are dreading going back to “normal” that’s just not me. We are all trying to figure out how to manage I this new circumstance and in reality maybe they do understand and I don’t understand them? Or we don’t know how to communicate this right now. What I do know is that they love me and I love them and I am going to work to bridge this gap as I believe it exists in a lot of places I. Our world right now. The word is acceptance, of others and ourselves. As well as acceptance of not knowing or understanding and not being okay.
Moral of the story today is that I want to encourage you to live your best life. First, take a step back and figure out what you need. That is way easier said than done, but it is essential! I kind of needed this shut down in a way, I was burnt out and I needed a reset. I needed time to slow down and figure out what I needed. I need connection. For me I get connection from human contact and human touch. I kind of suck at text message or phone call relationships be it business or personal, it is hard for me to not see touch or feel a person’s presence. I need touch and eye contact. I feel whole with connection and that connection is not made without touch. I have seen friends and we do the nod, or wave and it pains me to not connect with a hug or hand shake. So I have learned I need touch.
Second, make sure the ones you love know what it is you need. If you need touch or eye contact, to hear their voice or be in the same place (6 feet apart of you have to) tell them! It took me over a month of the stay at home order to figure out why I was going so crazy. It hit me one day that I am so used to being so intimate and connected to people, even in the professional level of therapeutic massage, that my whole life relies on that. There have been multiple studies on this but if you work with inadamant objects like computers or refrigerators you may not understand half of what people who normal work with people are missing in life in the stay at home order. My point here in this paragraph started as tell those around about this so they understand where you are coming from.
Your people need to know that you know what you need. I want to tell you, it’s okay if it’s not what your partner or rest of your family needs and it makes communication even more important. I still struggle with this. I know I need human connection but how do I tell my family and how do I get that when we are in quaratine and social distancing orders? And when I say that and they look at me like I’m speaking Greek how do I explain more? The answer is, you don’t. Stop trying to justify yourself. So instead of explaining and justifying to those around you that you think don’t understand you, accept yourself. It’s okay if they do t understand,now they know what you need. Tell them what you need and leave it at that. I need human connection. I need hugs and hand shakes. I need face to face in person connection with people. I thrive at being the highlight of a person’s day, which is why I became a Massage Therapist. It feeds my sole to help someone get out of pain and be able to manage their life better with less pain. These are my why’s of doing my job. I have accepted that and it’s my job to be sure to make that happen in my life. That is part of me taking care of me. The tough part is for the last 8 weeks, I haven’t been able to do that.
Taking this vacation was so much needed for me. I needed to get out of my head where I was upset with myself for not feeling good enough for not being able to feel good. I have struggled, why isn’t this life good enough? Our family is blessed that The Hubs still has his job and we have been able to save money not going out that all our bills are paid and we have even put money away in savings during this time. We are blessed so many people are so much in a harder place. So why am I struggle so hard? Stop judging yourself! Human connection is a real need. I’m not getting as much as I was before and that’s the missing link. Taking this vacation I have been better able to stop judging myself and stop hating on myself. I’m not killing my side hustle sales business and the house is not spotless and I’m not a steller homeschooler, I don’t even know if my kids are really doing school some days. On vacation, here, I have been able to let that shit go! I have been able to look at my kids who are healthy and young who should be enjoying life as much as learning. They will never get this young age back again. They should be seeing their mom take care of herself in a way that she wants them to take care of themselves when they grow up. That’s my job right now. With this vacation I have been able to reset myself. Kind of hit the reboot for my brain. To look at what’s important and guess what ( sorry for saying this Hubs) chores being done, dinner on the perfectly set table, kids studiously learning and not fighting, everything in its place, is not really the most important. The most important thing is what’s going on in our heads. Do we love ourselves? Do we love what we have? Are we appreciating eachother? Are we taking care of what we need in our own lives? Are we allowing the ones around us to do the same? That is what is important!
So, forget the fucking dishes, go to bed early and fuck like bunnies. Teach the kids life lessons like how to change the oil in your car or change a tire when you can’t figure out how to help with math. Do something you all enjoy and enjoy each othermaybe take a walk.
Manage your me talk health. Exercise is the most underused medication for mental health. Mental health is just that how well are we mentally? Can we handle our emotions? Me talk health isn’t always being happy,it is handling life when we are sad or frustrated or not getting everything we want or need and knowing how to go about making it right. Talk about your feelings,good and bad they are all okay there are healthy ways to ha dle all of our emotions!
It’s the people that matter in life most of all the person who you are ultimately responsible is you. Make your self happy and you will see the world opens up! Take a vacation if you can it’s easier to see yourself.