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New Start, Old Beginning

02 Saturday Mar 2019

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Business, Everyday, Family, Live in the Moment, Marriage, Marriage is hard, Marriage is work, Mom Stuff, Organization, Raising Kids, Sex, Sex Love and Washing Clothes, Take the time to take care of yourself, Washing Clothes, Working Mom

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Blogging, Love, Love yourself, New Beginnings, Writing

I titled today’s entry before I started to write. Normally I write and then pick a title. Today I have decided to start new, but it is an old beginning. I have had this beginning a lot. The I’m tired of fucking it up and want to get back on track. It has been a while since I have sat down to write. I have been busy doing what feels like spinning my wheels. I started blogging back in 2015 as a stay at home mom who was trying to encourage tried and weiry moms that it’s okay to “just be a mom” but shortly into 2015 I went back to work because well, our family needed the financial help and because I wanted to be more than “just a mom”. Sort of felt and still feels a little hypocritical. Old beginning because well, I have been here so many times before.Don't be afraid

I had a mission with this blog to help moms and dads stay in their marriage. At the time the Hubs and I had great sex but a rocky relationship. There were many times we kept our relationship together with just great sex. There was a lot left to be desired in our lives. We had communication issues that we were working on, as many busy parents with busy children have. We were and still are today stretched very thin! Sex was the one thing we could do that we both enjoyed without having to have much discussion and when I decided to have sex everyday in 2015 the Hubs was thrilled at the thought of not having to wonder when the next time he was going to get it. For the most part 2015 worked really well. The first part of 2016 was pretty good to but towards the end of that year it was a struggle. I had decided to move into private practice with my massage career and spent a lot of time working on my business which caused a lot of strain between the Hubs and I. That year ended really badly. I try not to say things are bad but at that time things were bad. I had felt like a fraud like I had wrote this blog all of 2015 and most of 2016 oh how to keep things together and make my marriage work and my plan had failed.  We were falling apart, it was almost the end of us. We decided to stay together, to work through our stuff and then another new old beginning.

Then 2017 went on rebuilding I decided to move my private practice home. The best of both worlds right? Well towards the end of 2017 another event happened that strained our relationship. Different but just as much of a strain and then that was almost the demise of us all of the struggles of 2016 came back in flashbacks and sorrow and just plain struggle. All the while we still maintained weekly date nights and tried to do the best we could with nightly sex and connecting but there were parts of both of us that were just unconnected, bitter and angry. We were also both remorseful for our roles in the fallout. We were sorry we were sad and missed each other like we had been on two separate continents! So decided to put it all behind us and onto another new but old beginning.

Then the start of 2018 we decided once again, we are here for the long haul. There is something to be said for two stubborn people being married and valuing their commitment made to each other! We have stayed our course through many very, oh so bumpy stretch of road the last few years. Maybe it’s maturity and maybe we are finally starting to “get” each other and fully commit to respect and love and cherish each other, it finally feels like we are moving on and getting over some of the same struggles we kept coming back to. Now, here in 2019 we can go weeks without fights. We even can have a spat and let it go with out dragging it on for hours or days and not resulting in the using the “D” word. We don’t have sex everyday but when we do it is good for both of us! I am considering a new #everyday challenge but I don’t want it to become a job again. In 2015 it was good, 2016 it was feeling more like a job and 2017 was just bad and 2018 the theme was “what happened to 2015?” But here in 2019 we are enjoying each other more, respecting each other more, loving each other more and having sex with each other more. Yes 2019 is still young and fresh and new but we are getting back to us! It has taken a while but we are doing well!

So that’s where the New Start, Old Beginning is, maybe it’s not such an old beginning, maybe this one is new it just gets old starting over again. Still the same: I am still working on my weight issues, still trying to decide what to do with my practice. Agonizing everyday if I am making the right parenting decisions and trying to convince the Hubs to get a dog and go house shopping or renovate ours. We have a lot to be happy about there is a lot going on here! As I sit back and look at things, I think why didn’t we just keep going with 2015? We got busy. Life gets crazy. Maybe we even got lazy or went on auto pilot. You can’t just sit back and let life take you where you want to go. Because unless you are driving the car it has a mind of it’s own and this girl wants to drive the direction I want to. The direction that will take my family in the right direction. For me, For the Hubs and for the kids. I am not a fan of this Old Beginning lets have a new beginning, start over on a new path!

One big thing I have struggled with is deciding what makes me tick. What do I want? I have spent so many years taking care of my family as a mom that I don’t even know what I want. I know I was insanely happy in the stroller days of my kids. Being able to load them in the stroller and go for a run. We would go pick up groceries in the stroller my house was not clean and my kids were very giddy and happy all the time. I can’t have those days back but I want that happiness back. Do I need to run more? Not worry about cleaning as much? I have started the Marie Kondu method but I just did my closets but now I’ve got to do my whole house.

So this year I want to find my passion. I love massage but it gives me stress billing and being a business owner, so can that really be my passion? I love to workout and exercise especially running and doing races but that doesn’t make me money to help with finances. I love and miss dancing but finances and time? I love to sing! I have spent more time singing karaoke and not missing the chance to sing than anything, how can I do that more? I miss writing here in my blog! I miss the words flowing really easily (can you tell?)

I told the boy yesterday that he had to decide to work hard when he is in a game. It is a conscious choice you have to make. Get up and grind and work hard but for me I struggle with that. So many different hats that I wear I struggle deciding where to put that effort. Not to mention I have ADD which does not help. This is my goal, this is my passion for this year, to find my passion and live it to the fullest! Doing it all while loving, taking care of and protecting my family. Balancing work life: growing a business, family life: getting everyone where they need to be when they need to be there, feeding them healthy meals and communicating all of that to the Hubs to get help from him and then not forgetting to cultivate our relationship in communication as well as sexualization. I want us to be happy these last few years before the kids leave us and give our kids a happy healthy place to live.

Is it doable? I believe so I will take you along on this journey this year and I will keep writing as this helps me process my thoughts and helps me stay positive. And gives me accountability! There may be things I have to let go of being in control of and getting my way but come with me this year on this journey and watch me win! One way or another!

Oh and by the way I turn 40 this year so there is a sense of urgency to show up and be me and know who “Me” is but not lose my family in the process. This will be no old beginning this is a fresh start to new beginnings, hard work and grind yes but love and laughter and passion to be found in this new beginning. In the process I will not let the hard work wear me down. I will not take the easy way out like I have in all the old beginnings. It’s hard, I won’t stop until I am where I want to be!

#ThisisRuby

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Marketing Monday

05 Monday Feb 2018

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Business, Do Your Thing, Mondays, Nothing Meaningful, Working Mom

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create your brand, Marketing, network, sell your work, Side business

Today was a day of marketing! I am struggling in my business. Right now it is slow. I need more business. I don’t need a “full time” schedule but I need more than I am getting.

I am trying a new thing. I am offering a class that I have wanted to offer for a long time! It’s a couples massage class! Well, I have reserved the space and need to fill the room now so it’s time to get the marketing going and fill the class!

I also picked up another side business I am figuring out how to market that. Mostly because I want discounts in the products, I’m cheap!

It’s been a creative marketing Monday! So not too exciting here. I just need to figure out how to make money with this blog, get organized and write better, maybe I would be onto something! Anyway, it’s been a long day, hopefully you will get some content from me one of these days!

Enjoy Monday, go do your work, wash your clothes and have sex!

#SLWC2018

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Own Your Vision

23 Tuesday Jan 2018

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Be You, Business, Massage Therapy, Planning, Raising Kids, Working Mom

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Don't let others judge and define you, Home office, Home office and Professional can coexist, Jury Duty, love what you do, low overhead, Professional, Reschedule Everything

Awe man about the same time I realized I hadn’t written yet today, I also realized I hadn’t called in to see if I have to report for jury duty! Damn it, I have to report at 8am! I will do my Civic duty and go in tomorrow! Boo!

Today was a productive busy day of massage work, business networking and soul searching. Am I in the right place? I think I am and this is why, I met two great clients from a marketing gig I have done in the past year. They both seemed to be pleased with their appointment and one rebooked for two appointments for the following two months, the other didn’t have work schedule but said she’d call! It felt right like it was affirmation that I am in the right place and that I can build a home based practice.

I love working from home. I just want to stop getting “the look” from professionals when I talk about my home office. I feel judged when I tell networking partners that I work from home. As if I can’t be professional seeing clients in a home office. When I originally decided to be an LMT (Licensed Massage Therapist) I originally envisioned my work as a massage therapist, was me working from home. As a mom of Middle School Kids it is a perfect situation. “Own it Ruby! Stop letting others define and judge you.” Now if I could fill my books with paying clients that would be even better!

#SLWC2018

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Risk Taking Kind of 2018

18 Thursday Jan 2018

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be You, Business, Do Your Thing, Working Mom

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Believe in yourself, Building my brand!, Business, Business Woman, Do what you need, Going Back to Work, Put In The Work, referral partners

This is going to be quick. Today I had a great conversation with a friend of mine in business. He has always encouraged me to go big and dream big about my business. So tomorrow I am meeting with a potential work/referral partner. What I have to figure out now is what do I want and what are my work goals?

In my work I want to grow a business. I’d like to mentor other massage therapist and maybe even mom’s to being successful in private practice. But I have to be successful in private practice first! I am confident I can be, especially worth this potential referral partner. Now, I have to comitt to the work!

I am committed to making this work to show my kids you CAN make your own way. To help my family be financially successful and take a little pressure off the Hubs and to prove to me. 2018 is the year of Risk. Here goes taking a leap of faith and taking on this “risk” and committing to it for the WHOLE year. It may mean the kids having to walk themselves home and getting help getting the girl to dance and other logistical things. I need to prove to myself that I can. I am ready to take on this challenge! Here we go!

#SLWC2018

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Take Risks

12 Friday Jan 2018

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Business, Family, Working Mom

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business move, fear don't hold me down, I found a hashtag, what do I want to do, Working Mom

10:49 and just now writing…ugh, I will get better at this! Today was busy BNI, then teeth cleaning, one to one with a colleague from BNI, the doctors appointment, run errands for the Girls dance competition, board meeting then home to cook dinner at 8:00…it was a busy but productive day.

Today on Facebook a friend of mine posted about taking risks. In my business I am about to make some changes and possibly take on a risk. It seems like a great business move if we can iron out a few details. I would work from home still part time but have an office to see clients from referring Chiropractor who needs someone to refer to. Will have to figure out details like rent etc…I love my work but the “business” side of things is always the stickler.

Because it’s so late I will leave you with this:

Keep reaching for your goals. If you have slipped up, reset and start over! My goals are still in tact, or have been reset. My Chinese herbs I take have been reset and I will be resetting my diet. Still dry January, I need a couple loads of laundry to catch up, but my sex number is still higher than the day of the year. I want to write more and make more time for it and exercise!

#SLWC2018

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Put Energy In Things That Move You Closer To Your Goals

21 Sunday Aug 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be You, Business, Do Your Thing, Live in the Moment, Live life, Planning, Working Mom

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Busy, craziness planned, Have sex as much as possible, I love my life, Love, Plan to have balance

Stress-management-photoI really miss blogging everyday. I really hope to get back to it. However, I really want my blog to be quality. To be inspirational, educational, funny and have less typos. However, when I write many times I am distracted and have a lot going on. That’s what happens as a working mom. I lack good boundaries to set strict rules for myself and my family about when they can get my attention and when I put my attention into different things than just my blog. I have started a business and that has taken a lot more energy and effort and my time than I originally had planned for. I know it is going to be great but it needs a lot of energy and I have to make it a priority. I should make a priority to set a better schedule and get all of my tasks in. Sometimes, I just sit and do nothing or watch mindless TV shows to just relax. Everyone needs that, yes, everyone does!

I am working to help you my readers to be better at being present in your life. That is a goal I have to inspire you and encourage you and myself to be present. Whatever it is that you are trying to do do it big, do it well and do it with love! I am not the best example of how to do that, but I know you can do it. Do your best, love with all your heart. Have perspective and put your energy in the areas of your life that you want to flourish! A good place to start with that is to have a schedule, make lists, prioritize well and get help!

One big thing you need, this deserves it’s own paragraph is self awareness. Know what you want. Have a vision and be clear. Write it down if you need to. When you are feeling overwhelmed take a minute to step back and evaluate where you are and where you want to be. Are you on a path that is getting you closer to where you want to be or are you putting too much energy into things or places that don’t matter! Really be intentional in everything you do and you will get closer to where you want to go. Eliminate things that don’t help you get there. Those moments you say “yes” when you know you should say “no” take a minute and think, will this help me in the areas of my life I need to keep moving forward? Will this help accomplish my goals? If not then respectfully say “no”. There are sometimes we do have to sacrifice for our children or our spouse or family and do those things  but make it meaningful. If you cannot do it full out and with a good spirit say no anyway! Always do everything with your best energy and intention. You will be rewarded for that, in some way shape or form. I believe that to be so.

I will work on this as I muddle through this first month of owning my own business. I will work through getting myself organized, scheduling things in my life so I can not be buried in my business but also not make my business a charity and make money and pay myself with it. I will work on all of this. I will make lists, schedule groceries and cleaning. I already have put on my schedule my “business accounting/billing/office work” time for Tuesday mornings. Grocery shopping is after that and cleaning will need a time too. I will be working Monday and Friday evenings and probably Tuesdays as well, I haven’t got that nailed down as I have an onsite job that I do and I need to make sure that day is nailed down first. I will commit to continuing to write a Hump Day Challenge every week and I will try to include at least two more posts every week. So you should see at least three blog posts a week from me, sometimes more when I have a moment.

So there you have it. There is the start to my list and my commitment to you readers. I love this blog, I love writing. I love my family and husband and kids and my business. I have to give myself some realistic expectations of how to accomplish happiness and balance. Keep reading and feel free to comment and interact with me if you like. Continue to be positive and open minded and keep having sex as much as you can! Go forth and Sex, Love and Washing Clothes with me!

#Plan2016

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It Takes Effort and Hard Work

06 Saturday Aug 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Baseball, Business, Do You, Just Do It

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Baseball, Baseball mimics life, Hall of Fame, Hard Work makes it look easy, Hard Work Pays Off, Ken Griffen Jr, Mariner's

This week was a busy week. Between trying to get settled in my new office and first week of football, it was crazy. A little bit too much going on but really in all honesty I thrive on that! My ADD brain loves to be busy and live in chaos! I am going to try to get better at writing everyday even if it’s short. To just write a lesson learned, or a fun exciting thing that happened, or something inspirational. That’s my challenge for myself to you, my readers.

Today we are going to the Mariners game. We are going to the game. The game that is going to honor the best, if not one of the best, baseball players ever. Ken Griffey Jr. His number will be retired today! I have always loved this guy. His drive, his focus, his determination is or was phenomenal. I only hope that a small percentage of all of “that” that he has my kids will have one day. He is also very humble about his career. He will tell you he was that good because of the work he put in, it was a huge sacrifice he made, with huge pay off. He made it look easy because of his hard work. I am sure it was far from easy. Success in any venue takes dedication, work, perseverance, sacrifice and most of all desire to be better, or even desire to be the best, along with, at least a shred of, talent. You cannot be that successfull or that good without all of those things then add to it an amazing support team, great teammates and some luck and you have a Hall of Fame career. I am pretty sure Hall of Famers don’t try to be in the Hall of Fame. They try to be the best they can be everyday. Every. Single. Day! It takes all of “that” and maybe even more. 

So I say to you, moms, dads, workers, husbands, wives, and athletes, what are you doing today to be great? It takes 100% everyday, even your off days. Even when you don’t feel good, or your wife is being a bitch, in order for you to be a Hall of fame husband, you have to be good even then. That’s what makes most of us not Hall of Famers, we make excuses of circumstances and blame others for our actions. But that is what we can do to change the outcome. Put in the work, everyday! Even when your team sucks, even when you hate your coach or hate your boss or the client you are working with is doing everything he can to torpedo your efforts. DO YOUR BEST. ALL. THE. TIME. 

Will you be voted in the Hall of Fame. Maybe not, there are 3 people who didn’t vote for Griffey Jr and he is the best ever! HOF is court of public  opinion, but are your efforts everyday getting you closer? You are in control of just that, your effort! Put in Hall of Fame effort it, may look easy but making things look easy…is the opposite of easy!

#Effort2016

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OH MY WORD!

04 Thursday Aug 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Business, Football, Organization, Planning, Working Mom

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Focus, I can do it!, Overwhelmed, So worth it, Starting my own business is a lot of work

FUCK!!!!  I forgot to write my Hump Day Challenge yesterday! I really need to get everything situated and settled and organized so I can get back to blogging everyday!

What if I flyI wish I was more organized! I wish I knew what I was doing! I wish I had time to do all this before I opened!

Well, that’s all I have time for today!!!! Well, I could go on but…nope gotta go! So much to do between starting this whole “My own business” thing and week one of Football…. Oh my goodness I promise tomorrow I will put in more time and give a good part of me in my blog and I will post random Hump Day Challenges on non “Hump  Days”

Hope you all are well and enjoying your summer! Love you all!

#OMG2016

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Breaking Free

25 Monday Jul 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Be You, Business, Massage Therapy, Working Mom

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be determined, Break out of your comfort zone, Don't let fear hold you back, Freedom, I will survive, Live The Life You've Imagined, Love, You can do this

FutureSo it has been a long week. I haven’t wrote since last Tuesday! Last week I spoke of things that happened that I didn’t want to talk about yet. Well then more things happened and happened so fast that I didn’t have time to stop and write. I have been overwhelmed this last week. the weekend previous to last Tuesday (the last time I blogged) I had looked at a new office to rent for my massage office. I have been contemplating private practice for a long time. I heard about this space available and decided to talk to the owner and then looked at it two weekends ago. I decided by Tuesday that I would talk to my boss and tell him I found a place. If he made an offer for me to rent the space I was in I would consider it but I was pretty sure I was done dealing with scheduling issues, done paying too much for rent on uncapped commissions and ready to have my own office.

Well I put in notice on Wednessday. I had decided I could wait until August 10 or so to stay at the chiropractic office to help out since the other massage therapist in our office just gave notice that she was leaving end of July. The Dr however decided that he didn’t want me to stay and help out he wanted me to leave. He said “Friday will be you last day” he must have thought I was a threat or something and the other massage therapist was not! I was kind of insulted but ok I guess I have work to do! Since then it has been a crazy busy time full of crazy unpredictable and un-understandable emotions. I went from feeling sad for leaving to feeling relieved to feeling angry that I have let the disrespect last so long! I was feeling not good enough, held back and stuck where I was at. I knew I was going to a better place but was scared and overwhelmed with too much to do in too little time. That made me emotional and the Hubs and I got in two arguments because he was frustrated he couldn’t understand me, well, neither could I! He is a typical guy who likes to and thrives on fixing things and when he can’t be a fixer he doesn’t know what to do and gets frustrated.

I was overwhelmed, I didn’t know how to feel or what to think. I was caught up in my head and couldn’t get focused. Once I got focused on working on my new office which happened this weekend when we started painting the new space and getting it ready it was invigorating, and inspiring. Then I was mad I spent so much time fretting about leaving the old place.

Today was my first day in my new office. I had 3 appointments most of my clients have chosen to keep the already scheduled appointments at my new place. So I am officially in private practice! I am renting space from another massage therapist working in an office of 4 therapists. I got to paint my own office, change out electrical outlets and pick out curtains and  decorate. I need to buy a new table soon, I need a chair for clients to sit while they change, I need a mirror (I found one that matches my curtains and will work well but it is $70 and I am running low on funds considering that I have to pay rent! I am excited and feeling free! I have 7 more massages until I cover rent and massage related expenses! I am feeling hopeful and ready to take on this challenge and I am happy to be living my dream live and in person!

It was sad-ish to leave. It was emotional, hard, confusing because I wanted to go but I am looking forward to this new adventure. I was scared to break out of my comfort zone. I am still scared but I know it is good. Good things come from breaking free from fear and breaking out and being bold! I will not stop until I have gotten to where I want to be and I will be happy. I will provide for my family and live in abundance! I am happy to stretch my comfort zone, no, I am happy to leave my comfort zone! I want to, but it is hard and it will hurt but it will be worth it!

#Recommit2016

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New Business Monday

23 Monday May 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Business, Massage Therapy, Working Mom

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Business Woman, Flying solo on Mondays, Long Day, Love My Work, New job

image

Mondays kick my Ass!!! It’s Modern day at dance! I love Modern! But it is a long work day. Today I added a new job. Working at a business on staff members.

I love being the highlight of my clients’ day!

#Recomitt2016

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