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Category Archives: Everyday

New Start, Old Beginning

02 Saturday Mar 2019

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Business, Everyday, Family, Live in the Moment, Marriage, Marriage is hard, Marriage is work, Mom Stuff, Organization, Raising Kids, Sex, Sex Love and Washing Clothes, Take the time to take care of yourself, Washing Clothes, Working Mom

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Blogging, Love, Love yourself, New Beginnings, Writing

I titled today’s entry before I started to write. Normally I write and then pick a title. Today I have decided to start new, but it is an old beginning. I have had this beginning a lot. The I’m tired of fucking it up and want to get back on track. It has been a while since I have sat down to write. I have been busy doing what feels like spinning my wheels. I started blogging back in 2015 as a stay at home mom who was trying to encourage tried and weiry moms that it’s okay to “just be a mom” but shortly into 2015 I went back to work because well, our family needed the financial help and because I wanted to be more than “just a mom”. Sort of felt and still feels a little hypocritical. Old beginning because well, I have been here so many times before.Don't be afraid

I had a mission with this blog to help moms and dads stay in their marriage. At the time the Hubs and I had great sex but a rocky relationship. There were many times we kept our relationship together with just great sex. There was a lot left to be desired in our lives. We had communication issues that we were working on, as many busy parents with busy children have. We were and still are today stretched very thin! Sex was the one thing we could do that we both enjoyed without having to have much discussion and when I decided to have sex everyday in 2015 the Hubs was thrilled at the thought of not having to wonder when the next time he was going to get it. For the most part 2015 worked really well. The first part of 2016 was pretty good to but towards the end of that year it was a struggle. I had decided to move into private practice with my massage career and spent a lot of time working on my business which caused a lot of strain between the Hubs and I. That year ended really badly. I try not to say things are bad but at that time things were bad. I had felt like a fraud like I had wrote this blog all of 2015 and most of 2016 oh how to keep things together and make my marriage work and my plan had failed.  We were falling apart, it was almost the end of us. We decided to stay together, to work through our stuff and then another new old beginning.

Then 2017 went on rebuilding I decided to move my private practice home. The best of both worlds right? Well towards the end of 2017 another event happened that strained our relationship. Different but just as much of a strain and then that was almost the demise of us all of the struggles of 2016 came back in flashbacks and sorrow and just plain struggle. All the while we still maintained weekly date nights and tried to do the best we could with nightly sex and connecting but there were parts of both of us that were just unconnected, bitter and angry. We were also both remorseful for our roles in the fallout. We were sorry we were sad and missed each other like we had been on two separate continents! So decided to put it all behind us and onto another new but old beginning.

Then the start of 2018 we decided once again, we are here for the long haul. There is something to be said for two stubborn people being married and valuing their commitment made to each other! We have stayed our course through many very, oh so bumpy stretch of road the last few years. Maybe it’s maturity and maybe we are finally starting to “get” each other and fully commit to respect and love and cherish each other, it finally feels like we are moving on and getting over some of the same struggles we kept coming back to. Now, here in 2019 we can go weeks without fights. We even can have a spat and let it go with out dragging it on for hours or days and not resulting in the using the “D” word. We don’t have sex everyday but when we do it is good for both of us! I am considering a new #everyday challenge but I don’t want it to become a job again. In 2015 it was good, 2016 it was feeling more like a job and 2017 was just bad and 2018 the theme was “what happened to 2015?” But here in 2019 we are enjoying each other more, respecting each other more, loving each other more and having sex with each other more. Yes 2019 is still young and fresh and new but we are getting back to us! It has taken a while but we are doing well!

So that’s where the New Start, Old Beginning is, maybe it’s not such an old beginning, maybe this one is new it just gets old starting over again. Still the same: I am still working on my weight issues, still trying to decide what to do with my practice. Agonizing everyday if I am making the right parenting decisions and trying to convince the Hubs to get a dog and go house shopping or renovate ours. We have a lot to be happy about there is a lot going on here! As I sit back and look at things, I think why didn’t we just keep going with 2015? We got busy. Life gets crazy. Maybe we even got lazy or went on auto pilot. You can’t just sit back and let life take you where you want to go. Because unless you are driving the car it has a mind of it’s own and this girl wants to drive the direction I want to. The direction that will take my family in the right direction. For me, For the Hubs and for the kids. I am not a fan of this Old Beginning lets have a new beginning, start over on a new path!

One big thing I have struggled with is deciding what makes me tick. What do I want? I have spent so many years taking care of my family as a mom that I don’t even know what I want. I know I was insanely happy in the stroller days of my kids. Being able to load them in the stroller and go for a run. We would go pick up groceries in the stroller my house was not clean and my kids were very giddy and happy all the time. I can’t have those days back but I want that happiness back. Do I need to run more? Not worry about cleaning as much? I have started the Marie Kondu method but I just did my closets but now I’ve got to do my whole house.

So this year I want to find my passion. I love massage but it gives me stress billing and being a business owner, so can that really be my passion? I love to workout and exercise especially running and doing races but that doesn’t make me money to help with finances. I love and miss dancing but finances and time? I love to sing! I have spent more time singing karaoke and not missing the chance to sing than anything, how can I do that more? I miss writing here in my blog! I miss the words flowing really easily (can you tell?)

I told the boy yesterday that he had to decide to work hard when he is in a game. It is a conscious choice you have to make. Get up and grind and work hard but for me I struggle with that. So many different hats that I wear I struggle deciding where to put that effort. Not to mention I have ADD which does not help. This is my goal, this is my passion for this year, to find my passion and live it to the fullest! Doing it all while loving, taking care of and protecting my family. Balancing work life: growing a business, family life: getting everyone where they need to be when they need to be there, feeding them healthy meals and communicating all of that to the Hubs to get help from him and then not forgetting to cultivate our relationship in communication as well as sexualization. I want us to be happy these last few years before the kids leave us and give our kids a happy healthy place to live.

Is it doable? I believe so I will take you along on this journey this year and I will keep writing as this helps me process my thoughts and helps me stay positive. And gives me accountability! There may be things I have to let go of being in control of and getting my way but come with me this year on this journey and watch me win! One way or another!

Oh and by the way I turn 40 this year so there is a sense of urgency to show up and be me and know who “Me” is but not lose my family in the process. This will be no old beginning this is a fresh start to new beginnings, hard work and grind yes but love and laughter and passion to be found in this new beginning. In the process I will not let the hard work wear me down. I will not take the easy way out like I have in all the old beginnings. It’s hard, I won’t stop until I am where I want to be!

#ThisisRuby

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Productive Not Busy

20 Saturday Jan 2018

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Everyday, Family, Organization, Volunteering

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Birthday Present, Enjoy family time, movie night, Saturday night, Xbox

Busy day today! Cleaning and purging and reorganizing is a busy job! We worked at the clubhouse where we volunteer, it made me want to come home and do more. It is a goal of mine to purge my clutter in my house. Upstairs we have over 1000 square feet that is filled with 17 years of over flow and empty boxes from items we thought we should save etc. I just need to start taking the extra afternoons here and there and go through stuff.

We also, today, gave the boy his birthday present, he got an Xbox. Well, we got a new XboxOne S for the family room and the boy got to have the one we had. It goes in our living room so he can play when everyone else might be watching TV. But that is also the space that is shared with my office so he doesn’t have 100% free range all the time, but he’s super excited to have his own! He and Daddy can play games against each other and have the whole screen to themselves.

All in all, it was a good Saturday. The Girl got to go to a Birthday party and I got started on a project in my office on the dividers I am customizing. It has not gone super smoothly but progress is just that, right?

Since the Hubs got to set up the new XboxOne S he reset the TV and Surround Sound to work “cooler” so we have to check out a BlueRay, what do we pick? Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back.

Movie time friends enjoy your weekend

#SLWC2018

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Check in On Goals

16 Tuesday Jan 2018

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Cleaning, Everyday, Homemaker, New Year, Running, Sex Love and Washing Clothes

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Business, everything will work out, Goals, Have more sex, House Cleaning, run more, set goals

Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday! It was a good fairly productive for me in the Earl household! I had some personal appointments this morning AND got some work done in between which is a big deal for me! I struggle with small tasks in between other things. For me I have to focus on one thing to accomplish and, if I don’t think I have enough time or will get distracted or if it won’t get done in time, I usually choose to skip the task until I can focus on only that one thing.

Today I decided to just get it done. I get overwhelmed easily and have a hard time breaking down what needs to be done and how to accomplish the goal and have a hard time with time management. It’s because of ADD. You see, people with ADD, their frontal cortex (part of the brain that organized tasks) does not function the way people without ADD does. We struggle breaking down simple tasks, prioritizing things into a list based on importance and struggle with time management. So for me to get shit done in between two different appointments in two different places, for me is a big deal. High five to myself!

How are you doing on your goals this year? Here is an update on some of mine:

I also, today, got in a good run (slow, but still good). I got in 4+ miles for a total of 7+ on the month. I have a goal of 50 miles this month…if I am going to accomplish that I need to get my ass running every day! I have made it to the gym only once a week so far got to get more committed there to hit the twice a week mark.

Sex everyday has been going well. We haven’t done it every single day but have made up for missed days with a couple 2 a days right now we are a day behind, we will get there I’m not worried. Just looking forward to a day we can have a two a day.

Washing Clothes: I have done a load of laundry every day. Today I started the Hubs’ work pants in the laundry without him even having to tell me he has no pants to wear tomorrow (he has a stack of clean and folded pants in his closet) and now all the laundry hampers are not even close to over flowing!

Also, Couch cushions got readjusted and fluffed to look neater yesterday. The house got vacuumed, dishes caught up by the time the kids went to bed! It feels good to have that accomplished and check things off the list everyday.

What kind of sucks is my work schedule has been way slow, possibly reasons why I have had so much time to get housework done. I am working toward being on top of things around the house and carrying that on when business picks up. Small steps forward everyday! But I want more work to help with the family finances…

Dry January… still dry and for the Hubs too! Yay us!

I’m working on motivation to get it all done workout, clean, sex everyday and follow through with all of my Goals! And get more business! Maybe should have made business goals for 2018….

How’s everyone else doing?

#SLWC2018

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Save What We Love

15 Monday Jan 2018

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Connection, Everyday, Love, Sexting

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Be Positive, Community Service, focus on what is good, Let's stop fighting what we hate and start saving what we love, MLK, speak out for what is right

Speak out against what is wrong speak up for what is right! Stop the hate! Put more energy into saving what we love than fighting what we hate! I’m not saying don’t fight against what’s wrong, not in any way. I am just saying in order to encourage love and all that is good let’s focus our energy there!

So much negativity is going around right now. Some is for good reason fighting for what is right and just but what I want to see and hear is people saying what is good amd right not only what is wrong! I want more attention put on people doing good things and less on those doing bad, even if their reasoning may be in the right place. A right platform, in my opinion, does not justify bad behavior.

Like Dr King, I believe we should be judged by the content of our character, not by the color of our skin, where we live, where we were born, how much money we have or can make, who we love, where or even if we worship, what sex we are or claim, what kind of car we drive, how fast we are going or by how many mistakes vs good we have done.

What I am saying is that in this moment you are the content of your character not any of those other things but at the same time all of those other things decisions you’ve made mistakes and accomplishments as a whole. One word, one phrase is not what defines you, it is the body of work. What kind of body of work are you putting out there? All of it, all the time even when no one is looking.

Today Dr King’s family asked for us to in remembrance of him that we serve one another. Many communities hosted programs to serve less fortunate in their community. I served my family, which is one thing I am focusing on this year in Sex Love and Washing Clothes. I have been feeling depressed lately. Everything everyday has been a bit of a struggle, not so much that it has consumed me but enough to make everyday a struggle. I worked through today by just doing one project at a time. I felt very unproductive however made a pretty good dent in my work. My family thanked me for it. Especially the hubs when he got some sexy pictures from me. It made me happy to make him smile, then he brought me flowers

Sometimes we think we have to do something great big, like March on Washington, but the small efforts in your family and community and towns and cities make a huge dent.

If we spend more time defending and saving what we love and less time fighting about what we hate what would our world look like? Think on that.

#SLWC2018

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7 Day Challenge

23 Thursday Jun 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Do You, Everyday, Marriage is hard, Marriage is work, Sex Love and Washing Clothes

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Fuck It do your thing, no people pleasers, Nothing to prove, Sex saves marriages, Spirituality is personal

image

Happy Thursday. Today I had a one to one meeting with someone in my BNI group. I try to meet with someone in my group at least once a week. I am trying to get to know everyone in my group. This week during this one to one I realized we had more in common in our person life journeys that have got us where we are in life and business. A few years ago right around when I turned 30 I went through a shift in my thinking. You have all read the shift in my thinking that I am speaking of. You see I grew up very prudish, very sheltered and not know how to make decisions for myself. I grew up in a church that taught me what was right and wrong according to their interpretation of the bible. I still struggle with the ideas of what is right and what is wrong. It is hard for me to figure it out sometimes. This person I met with has recently gone through a change in the same way. He and I compared stories of what we were thinking and what lead us to this change. I read a book called “Dance of the Dissident Daughter” by Sue Monk Kidd and that lead me to start exploring my religion and spirituality.

I believe that we all need to focus on what is right in our lives. You live your life not your parents or teachers or leaders of your chosen groups. No teacher, church, race or religion of any kind have the authority over you. You can decide what you believe and what is right. You are a grown ass woman or man and you don’t have to please anyone. When I was younger I was always trying to be a people pleaser. Always wanted to do what is right and checking from one self help book to another only to find out that they all contradict each other. By the time I turned 30 my new life moto became: Fuck It! I have nothing to prove to no one except myself! MYSELF! The same is true for you! You have no one except yourself to make happy and be content with. Hopefully your spouse is already happy with you, hopefully they won’t require you to be someone you are not! But my point is do what is right for you! If you do what is right and you treat other people the way you want to be treated then you will be fine. You just have to keep in mind that if you go from being a people pleaser to being a healthy strong person, others around you may start to get a little uneasy, if they were controlling you….

My favorite subject from our talks today was sex, I know very business like but, don’t judge! Many people have a predetermined set of rules in regards to sex. Most of us who were raised in a church tend to shy away from or and are scared of sex. Many religions teach that sex is “good” but only at certain times and certain ways. Sex has liberated my marriage. Sex is the reason my husband and I are still married. God made our bodies the way they are and I believe he wants us to feel pleasure, and sexual pleasure should not be excluded. You all know that I have said that there are no rules. If it feels good to you and your partner by all means do that as much as you two want to. If everything is consensual and all parties are on the same page why the hell not?!

The Hubs and I have had a rough few days. We have been arguing about petty stuff, we are really overwhelmed. Today I wrote him a text that said “let’s start over. Let’s start with having sex everyday for the next 7 days.” He responded with “that’s a good start” Having sex everyday bonds two people together in a connection when you do it with the intention. It’s a powerful connection! I do believe that you can have sex that is not about connection as well. I don’t think that is bad I just believe that sex between two committed loving people is so powerful for a relationship. Sex for just the physical aspect of sex can be really refreshing and good for your individual soul as well. Regardless, sex is good and I am a strong advocate of it!

So this is what I am saying. If you are in a committed relationship, use sex to strengthen it! I do not believe you can build a relationship on sex but I do believe you can keep one together with sex! (But who knows, maybe you can, just see what happens.) I say that because good sex is the only reason mine is still together and we are still strong in our marriage because of good sex. It takes work to be married. It takes connection and what better way to get connected. So go and save your relationship start with my mini challenge of sex everyday for the next 7 days!! And forget the judgmental words from people from past lives and prudish individuals or social standards. You have control in this life of yours. Do what’s right for you. It may be different than what is right for me or someone else. Just do YOU!

#Recomitt2016

 

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TGIF!!!!

27 Saturday Feb 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Do Your Thing, Everyday, Family, Live in the Moment, Massage Therapy, Mom Stuff, Parenting, Raising Kids, Working Mom, wrestling

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Busy, Family Life, Life, Mom Life, Working Mom

image

Today is Friday! I had 18 massage appointments this week plus 2 Wrestling matches, a PeeWee football equipment meeting and a baseball team mom meeting and Dentist appointments for the kids, oh and had my Dance class (but only made one class this week) I also hand washed my car and fed my family everyday and only had Pizza once! It has been a crazy busy week! The girl hurt her knee at dance and I keep forgetting to call the orthopedic Dr about it! I do t thinknitnisnmore that bad but of it is I am going to feel so bad for ignoring it!

Bottom line is I am tired today. I had a headache from last night until today at 2 or so I finally gave in and took Alieve. I tried my EOs, got an adjustment and drank water and nothing helped. I think it may have been my body telling me I was tired and doing a lot more than normal this week. But this is what “normal” is going to be soon (or right now obviously). I am striving for 20 massages a week which is considered a full time schedule for an LMP. Our family is busy and we are involved parents! I am going to have to hire a house cleaner (and maybe even a house nanny to/do laundry and cook dinner do they have those?) I am busy but honestly the house is not too disastrous surprisingly enough!Especially considering I am the only one who does laundry and dishes unless my mom babysits early enough that she is not too tired to fold laundry ( I love that about her) this week she had time to fold my clothes when we were on Date Night!

I really am enjoying my job and my life lately. I feel good about myself. Work is going well the kids are doing awesome (The Girl just got two awards today at school and The Boy took two reading tests to meet his monthly reading goal!) Blogging is going well-ish too! I am writing this one in bed while the Hubs snores next to me. We are sexing inthe morning because tongiht as we went to bed I was working on his knee and started rubbing his back too and he got that sleepy look so I asked him and he said yes let’s do that, the alarm is set for early, it’s Wrestling End of Season Tournament Day! But we are going to get up even earlier do “It” (lol I said “do It”)

Things are going well in the Earl household here! Loving life enjoying family and making it all work! Good night folks!

#Recommit2016

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Ready To Turn it Around

23 Tuesday Feb 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Don't judge me, Everyday, Marriage is work, Reboot, Sex, Sex Love and Washing Clothes, Uncategorized

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Confession, Love, recommit, Sex, starting the starting over over

Quote_AlwaysRecommitDontBeatYourselfUpOk, so it’s confession time! Yesterday’s blog was a new beginning and a recommitment and I failed! The Hubs worked late teaching and by the time he was home I was spent. I didn’t feel good, made excuse after excuse and he took my sexual “advance” as not a serious bid for sex, can’t blame him it was weak. So today is the new beginning! We kind of got into an argument over it but regardless we didn’t have sex yesterday! Today is a new day!

Today, actually I feel normal again. After being sick last week and kind of in a fog for a while I feel focused and in control of my life again. I am super busy at work but I kind of feel like I have a new rhythm and routine. No working at the bar tonight, no kids or husband sick, not sick myself and now I am ready to commit to this life and regain control! No more playing from behind the 8 ball, not that I really understand that analogy I don’t play much pool, but I am ready to start 2016 again! So here we go!

I had a good day, did one load of laundry (even though it is still in the dryer) cooked dinner for the fam, the house is clean-ish and I feel accomplished for the day! The kids are in bed and even got in their reading today now it is time to sit next to my husband on the couch and snuggle then mount up for some naked adult fun before we drift off to sleep for the night! I am ready for this. I know I have a lot on my plate but I am ready to conquer this thing called my life! Here we go Ruby get ready to turn this life around! I got this!

#Recomit2016

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Recommit Everyday

22 Monday Feb 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Connection, Everyday, Sex, Sex Love and Washing Clothes, Uncategorized

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recommit, Relationship Help, Sex = Connection, Sex everyday

So I don’t know if you noticed but I have not blogged everyday this last week. This weekend partly out of the fact that I was busy but partly for lack of something to write about, partly lack of time to write and partly out of spite, I didn’t blog. I did post a picture yesterday about change. It’s time for a change. wpid-wp-1444628372071.png

So let me go back a bit. Since this year started I have kind of abandoned the whole everyday thing. I have been writing everyday but that is about it. I have not been making sex a priority in my relationship I have been busy! The Hubs and I have had a rough year. I don’t know if it is because we haven’t had sex everyday or for some other reason. I do remember noticing last year when we started this that he and I were much less stressed. My husband is calmed by having sex everyday. He tends to lack the ability to control his stress level and handle his stress. It seems one of the only ways he relieves stress is sex. I don’t know if this is bad or good but it is what it is. I know that sex with my husband is much better than fighting with him! So I am reviving the focus on having sex everyday.

Last year it did get to a point on occasion (often toward the end of the year which is why I went away from it the beginning of this year) it became a hassle. Everyday having to have sex it felt like a struggle to have connection. I am still fighting with that but I am really wanting to have a happy life with less fighting. I know there is more to a relationship than sex and problems and communication issues cannot be solved solely by having sex but having sex does create a connection that would not exist while abstaining. So it’s like I have said before, you can’t build a relationship on sex but you can keep yours together by having sex. We have some issues to get through. We do but for now, sex is needed, everyday! So once again we are going to be reconnecting to the routes of Sex Love and Washing Clothes and that is have sex everyday! So for now I need to get ready for the Hubs to get home.

#RecommitEveryday

 

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Today Was a Good Day

19 Friday Feb 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Everyday, Marriage is hard, Marriage is work, Working Mom

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Allergies, Recovery, Sinus stuff, Watery Eyes

I had a great day back at work! I felt strong I felt good. Tonight my sinuses are acting up. Having a major sneezing stuffy nose allergy type attack! Maybe it is maybe I rushed it but this is new! All in all today was a good day!

image

Now let’s hurry and go to bed and het it on before I run out of energy or sneeze my brains out!!!

#Everuday2016

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Found a Great Quote

11 Thursday Feb 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Everyday, Live in the Moment, Planning

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A good quote can change your mind, Do Quit, Everyday, Focus, I need to schedule life better, Need to start over the "Everyday thing"

Today was busy. I may need to reevaluate (aka quit) this whole everyday thing! For now here is a great quote. I cam across a lot of great quotes that I saved and some that I didn’t but this one was “The One” for today!

image

I need to some how teach this to my kids and practice this in my life! So, there will be no reevaluating, see you all tomorrow!

#Everyday2016

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