Category Archives: Family

Live Stop Worrying

27 Monday Mar 2017

Posted by in Be Present, Be You, Do You, Don't judge me, Family, Love, Uncategorized

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worryingHello followers, let me start by saying. I am struggling.  Acutely today I have so much on my mind, so much that has happened, so much I want to accomplish and so much to write and share (because I haven’t written much lately)  and also some to keep private and not write about (we all know that is hard for me not to over share) and since I haven’t been blogging much this may be a little disjointed, I mean, more than normal. I was asked the other day to remove my filter…they obviously don’t read my blog or maybe they do because they know it’s possible for me to do so. But yes, in real life I have this filter. Call it a mask of sometime professionalism, sometimes shyness, just a filter that I don’t say everything I am afraid to be judged or I want to make sure I am being appropriate…I don’t really know why. So hear goes sans filter Ruby is going to spill and hopefully today organize my thoughts and life and get back on track where I want to be. And for you I hope you can be inspired by my thoughts either by realizing you are not as messed as me or by realizing you are not alone out there.

Why the fuck is it so hard to just live? I want to do so much but for some reason I am so tired. I get going and then my energy fizzles out. Today I wanted to get in a run, do some admin business stuff, some billing and returning phone calls, also wanted to clean and organize at the house catch up with laundry. This morning was a great breakfast. I was able to get the kids lunches made, then I made them breakfast. I made eggs, English muffin toast, strawberries and smoothies for the kids. The boy we struggle with eating and he ate his whole breakfast today. I was on a roll. Then they both got to school and I got home and had to do some computer stuff. Then it was almost 10:00 and I had to decide what to do…go for a run, or get ready and get to a business networking thing at 11:30 or do something else like clean or write in my blog…

Why the fuck can’t I just make the right choice for myself? Why don’t I do what I want to do to get me closer to where I want to be. I want to be a great mom that takes care of her family by cooking and cleaning and having a relaxed calm home environment. I also want to have a successful business and sometimes that means making sacrifices at home but I hate choosing which has to sacrifice. Balance is just not always an option!! But it has to be! We need balance to be healthy! Everyone does! Sometimes I feel like I am getting it and then the next day shit hits the fan and I am feeling fucked and not in a good way! I just want to figure life out why this fuck is it so hard?!

And why is it that when I feel like I have things under control the bottom drops out? So even when things are good, really things are pretty goo right now. Business is doing alright, life is good the Hubs and I are getting along and happy but this is how I felt in December when my life got turned upside down! I was getting in the groove of working the business, The Hubs and I were happy. I had some great (I thought) friends in my life all was well. Then the bottom dropped out. I am kind of waiting for that to happen right now. Life has really felt like it has slowed down. You know the way that commentators talk about the game slowing down for rookies in the NFL. Nothing changes they just get used to seeing the speed of the NFL vs College etc. Life has really felt like it’s slowed down and we are in the midst of competition and tournament season! What horrible thing is about to happen or has already happened that I am about to find out? Why the fuck do I have to think this way? Why can’t I relax and enjoy life? Why can’t I remove the filter? What am I afraid of?

PLAN: Here is my plan what I want anyway. I want to write more, exercise more, enjoy the moments I have with my family and have moments with myself and one on one time with the Hubs, and be successful in business so I can help my family do everything and have everything we want. Just that sentence brings tears to my eyes because it feels like so much and I am sad I have to say it out loud, how did I let myself get here away from these things? I should plan time for everything. Time for writing and exercising in my schedule and push myself to follow it. Get my house cleaned up and organized and then take time to keep it that way and having the business I may need to hire a housecleaner to help keep up on the house thing. I need a better plan and more than just giving myself grace I need to trust myself when I am feeling like things are slowing down. The game really is slowing down for me! I need to accept that. It’s time to pass the ball to my trusted teammates and manage this game in a way that will most benefit the team! I need to be MVP in my life so my team can win and winning is when we are all happy and healthy and enjoying life! That is balance!

What the fuck did I just say?! I really need to stay focused and push myself to get where I want to be and I need to pass the ball to those who can advance our life when needed. I need to stop worrying about the lineman who is going to hit me from the blindside and focus on the play and execute! I have a team to support me and need to use that. But it’s my job to manage this game I can and I will rock this. I need to allow myself to live and enjoy and celebrate the good times and stop worrying!

#Live2017

Women Are Artists of Balance

08 Wednesday Mar 2017

Posted by in Be Present, Be You, Family, Live in the Moment, Love, Working Mom

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I struggle sometimes with the happiness of each moment that is shrouded with sacrifice in another arena of life but that is what being a woman means to me: You can do anything you want, you can even do everything but you can’t do it all, at the same time, physics and laws of the universe like gravity limit you! That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t relish in your joy of work even when your missing you kids basketball game. And when you’ve blocked yourself out from work to catch a game trust that it will be there for you when you return. 

Surrounded yourself with good support be it a great friend or aunty who can take photos so you don’t miss a shot when you Aube to work. Also, have great employees or coworkers or referral partners that can hold down the fort so you can catch the kids basketball games and such! It is balance my friends and we as women are artists of balance! 

Let’s stop beating ourselves up because of gravity! We can balance the weight of the world on our shoulders, practice your son’s curve ball and nail the new dance hairstyle and have dinner on the table (even if it’s pizza on a paper plate) and still hold the eye of our husbands because fuck him like crazy when it’s time, because we are women who are artists of balance and we do it with a smile! 

Allow yourself to feel the same smile, give yourself grace. You put it on for everyone else because you are an artist, you are a woman! You know what matters, your love, your family, your work, your husband and your house matters, but everything has its time. It’s okay to pick and choose and give yourself grace. It’s okay to give your children a few chores and it’s okay to have dishes in the sink! Be you, love you! Always do your best you know what matters each moment that so focus on that everything else will have its time.

#Art2017

#WomensDay2017

Plan Focus Give Grace

26 Sunday Feb 2017

Posted by in Be Present, Cleaning, Connection, Family, Friends, Homemaker, Live in the Moment, Marriage is work, Organization, Parenting, Planning, Raising Kids, Schedule, Working Mom

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Hello Readers,

I have to confess, I have had a rough go lately. The Hubs and I have been struggling. It’s hard for me to write encouraging posts when I don’t feel so positive it is hard for me to write positive without feeling like a fake. So, with that said, I am feeling more positive, I know that I may be having some sort of depression or anxiety and need to pay attention and not get lost in it. I am going to be going back to counseling on my own and I will be checking in with my GP about some tummy issues I’ve been having, to keep my health a priority and take care of me. As a person, as a mom, as a wife and a health care provider it is hard to serve in your roll if you feel down and ineffective. Like they say it is impossible to serve from an empty vessel.

empty-vesselIn my life in the last week I have had some clarity of mind to realize I need to focus on me. Not in a selfish way where you are “more important” than your family, that you are charged with taking care of, but in a way to be the healthiest you so your family can have a healthy mom, healthy wife and your clients can have a healthy provider coming from a place of love and caring. I have been so bogged down with stress in life that I am complaining a lot, offended easily and my brain gets flooded and I get angry easily. So much so that I don’t really recognize myself and then when the hubs and I get into “special moments” I feel like I turn into some monster that is not me! Then it spirals out of control! So I am taking control of me. Part of that is me getting back into blogging here. I want to encourage people who are or have been in my spot. Also it helps me to get my feelings out and helps me to help guide myself in a positive way, not just my readers. Plus entertaining readers with my Hump Day Challenges is a passion of mine that I have missed the last few weeks.

Another part is getting back to my life. I have been working a lot and losing site of what really matters. My work matters but there is a balance that needs to be heeded. A balance of working in my business (doing massage) as well as working on my business (admin stuff like billing and marketing). I love networking for marketing and I have a lot of friends that I network with but that networking time needs to be just that and sometimes the balance of networking and socializing line blurs and loses potency.

So to deter the blurred lines of friend time and networking time I plan to be more active in my life with friends. We all struggle balance with work and fun but it is important to stay in touch with your “people”. You know, the ones who can figure out your drunk text typos and actually answer or support you in those moments! So one part of this gaining balance and getting back to me is scheduling girlfriend time as well as date nights and family nights! All three is important as important as work time.

Another part is planning house work time. This is harder for me because really, who wants to do the bull shit tasks of cooking, cleaning and grocery shopping? Especially after work and taxiing around the kids after a full day of work? But if you ignore it or don’t plan it you end up with those “special moments” with the Hubs that no one really wants! So this next sentence is very important, You must plan with your family! Everyone in the family has a responsibility  for how the house runs! The Hubs and I have had some conversations on this and although we haven’t really planned it all out, we have made huge gains in this area. The Hubs has started helping with dishes and putting laundry away. There is much to be said about a person who actually steps up to handle the things that they hate not being done versus just complaining about it! So: MAKE A FAMILY PLAN ABOUT HOW YOUR HOUSE WILL BE RAN AND EVERYONE CONTRIBUTE! Talk about it and follow through.

So to sum up this long post:

  1. Take care of you if that means going to the doctor, counselor, journaling, exercising, What ever it is, make time!! My plan get back to counseling, exercise everyday (at least cardio), get to doctor about tummy issues, have grace with myself when I am overwhelmed!
  2. Schedule and stick to it you work and admin time in your business! My plan just get it admin and massage time on the books and don’t waiver regardless of the client and their schedule, make my schedule and family time as important as theirs. Balance!
  3. Schedule Date nights, family nights and time with “your people” My plan: Schedule girlfriend time once a month, Date nights weekly and actually go, Family nights or outings weekly
  4. Schedule House work and responsibilities! Everyone has a responsibility to participate it is not all on mom regardless if mom is a working mom stay at home. We need to teach our kids they have to contribute as well as the husbands. Talk about it and make a plan! My Plan: schedule family menu planning meetings, utilize Clicklist with preplanned menus. Give kids chores and follow through with them to do it on schedule before practices and dance.
  5. GIVE GRACE! Let everyone have a little grace with heavy stress load times of homework, busy work days and heavily scheduled tournaments or competitions. Everyone is trying hard to motivate through life! We all want what’s best for our family and ourselves and sometimes we need to take a nap instead of vacuum! As long as we are all doing our best when our family needs help lets lend a helping hand they will do the same for you when you need! Help each other out to get to the goal and enjoy the good moments like the tournament wins and realize sometimes those things come when the house is messy, but when those moments are over and we have down time we can catch up when we need to! As long as there is not mold growing on the dishes and the house isn’t burning down and there is a dance to watch or a game going on…take it in! Enjoy these busy crazy moments building a lives, growing children into adults, growing a business and creating a life! Make it happy!!!

Live the life you’ve imagined because remember in your dreams you saw the results not the work that it takes to get there! FOCUS on what is important. Family, friends, lives, and moments are important! Money and dishes and laundry will go away savor moments with your people!!!

#Live2017

 

Rise Above the Negative

21 Monday Nov 2016

Posted by in Be Present, Be You, Family, Live life, Marriage is work, Mom Stuff, Raising Kids, Self Care, Working Mom

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Hello friends! Last week was rough for me! I am rising above the negativity and coming out of those ashes! I know that we mom’s expect much more out of ourselves than we should. Many times, we expect even more from ourselves than our worst critic. Sadly, sometimes, that critic lives with us and is one that we love most and the one we don’t want to let down. Which is why we are so hard on ourselves. Little does that critic know he or she, his criticism, is what not only drives us and motivates us to do better but also and more likely is what drives us to fall into dark places, kills us on the inside and shakes our confidence. 

So this quick post is to say to you, rise above you mom or sister or whoever is hard on you, magnifying you minor faults, most of all rise above that voice in your head shouting out your major faults! It’s time to realize, we are all worthy of the crown we wear! Yes we all wear a crown! We are all queens of our own universe and we are our best ally! So stop cutting youself short, stop focusing on the negative don’t letting them in your head! Don’t believe everything you think! You are not that bad you are the queen

Try to find a way to shake off their words and negativity and find positive. Call your friend who supports you. Go chat with you brother or dad instead of your unapproving mother. Have girlfriend time (or guy time if your a dude reading this post). Distract yourself away from the negative. Whoever that critical family member is trying to help you be better. But you can’t hear that it’s best to get away to distract yourself away from the negative situation. Read mom blogs like this one to remind yourself that you are normal! We are all normal and we are all queens! Our crowns do t always have jewels sometimes the have gray hair or as a friend of mine states Sparkly hair and sometimes it’s a ponytail thrown up.in a baseball cap! Wear it proud. 

This critical loved one, they have a dark story and tjays where their negativity is coming from there. They probably need support and positivity in their life as well but you focus on you. They are not ready to focus on themselves maybe they don’t know how. Let them be. Share only love that is the only way to break the cycle, get yourself the loving support that you need and love your loved ones back. Break the cycle of negativity and Rise above!

You don’t have an alien living in your house, you doing just fine! You are the queen, keep it up! 

#Rise2016

Sex for Stress

13 Tuesday Sep 2016

Posted by in Be You, Dance, Do You, Do Your Thing, Family, Uncategorized

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Hello friends. I have missed you. I miss blogging everyday! I miss sharing my stories with you. I was on the way to a Seahawks game yesterday and looked at my phone and thought of blogging but, I knew my hands would really act up and be painful if I blogged from my phone. The kids have started school. The girl said her first day was “terrible”. The boy’s first Pee Wee game was this weekend. He played amazing but the team still lost. There are so many things I want to share about every single one of these adventures but time is not on my side. Blogging is almost like a full time job or at least should be. I makes me think that maybe I need to plan my posts out better. I miss having time to blog. I also miss having sex with the hubs everyday! I miss Sex Love and Washing Clothes!!!

I love everything I am doing in my life. I love my life. The Hubs and I have had a few struggles a few weeks ago, but have got past it. Starting a new business has created a lot of stress in this household as it would in any household. Stress like that tends to cause the Hubs and I to argue a little more. More sex helps us in the arguing department so we have really (or at least I have) focused on having more sex. I know it sounds like avoiding problems but really it is coping with stress. So that has been a lot of what we do in our spare time. Which is what makes it tough right now for the Hubs to be gone for a week, he is at training for work! Boo!!!!

One more adventure that I have been working on is I am the new Drill Team Advisor at my daughter’s junior high. She has never been much interested in Drill Team but I was in Drill Team as a Jr High and High school student. It made a big impact in my life and would not want these girls to miss the opportunity and the chance to influence women of our future to get a better start being better women than we have before. Women need to be taught at a young age how to support each other and not compete with each other. We as a Drill Team are sisters and what we need to focus on is to lift up and support each other! I hope I can help the girls start a good solid life of good lady support for each other!

I need to go choreograph a tryout routine, wash dishes, do laundry and maybe even sleep. (No fucking the Hubs in gone, sadface)

#Sexforstress2016

 

What The Fuck Is Wrong With Me?

14 Sunday Aug 2016

Posted by in Don't judge me, Family, Love, Love your body, Mom Stuff

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We just finished gigantic very yummy amazing homemade ice cream sundaes. They were served up in these beautiful hand painted sundae bowls that are big enough to fit 3 scoops of ice cream and lots of toppings and still have room for more! The sundaes were great. They probably were 1000 calories each. As I have struggled with my weight issues my whole life I can’t help myself to think that I am teaching my daughter to continue to carry on my weight issues like a family tradition. I stop myself from correcting her or telling her she doesn’t “need to eat that” because I heard that all the time from my mom. I would ask to have a cookie (we never ate anything without asking) she would answer with something like “you don’t need that” or “do you want to look like me when you grow up?” Those words were engrained subconsciously in my brain. I feel it damaged me in a way. But, I don’t know how I can talk to her and tell her she is eating (sometimes) out of boredom or because of something other than the need to fuel her body.

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I don’t want to damage her soft little soul or self esteem. I don’t want her to think or believe the way I did that I was fat in 7th grade. I don’t now think I was fat in 7th grade but when I was in 7th grade I thought I was. I would skip lunch or not sit down at a table to eat my lunch. I would by a bag of two cookies and eat just that instead of real food and balanced nutrition because I was on a “diet”. At one point in Junior high I was a vegetarian. I would not eat meat, but I would eat cookies, French fries, bread and the occasional McDonald’s hamburger. I have no idea why I thought meat was what was making me not “skinny” I was far from fat. Kids theses days are much bigger than I was I was a size 3 in 7th grade a 5 in 8th grade and then a 7 for most of the rest of my high school career. That is not fat in my 37 year old brain! But in my 12 year old brain I was fat.

I was not active. I did drill team but probably could not run a mile. I had no grasp at all on nutrition. I didn’t know what a protein, carb or fat even was or the significance of any of those things. My daughter knows to eat a protein and carb at every meal. She also knows to try to have more fruits and veggies at every meal. The Girl exercises regularly by default she is a dancer and dances 4 days a week for 3 hours on her light day! So that helps combat those extra calories, but I don’t want to be that mom that nags her daughter on weight. I want my daughter to love her curves that are developing and enjoy the womanly shape she is gaining.

Then there is the part of me that wants her to stay petite and skinny her whole life. I know kids grow and get thicker and then taller but I worry about her thinking the same way I did when I was young. How to I change that? How can I affect her to be healthy about her body image and not worry about her weight and her size. And then when she is confidently eating a gigantic bowl of ice cream I can’t help but think in my head “I don’t want her to get bigger like me” What the fuck is wrong with me???? This is body image problems at their worst!

Give her credit. Give her love and acceptance and teach her by modeling good habits! but I don’t have good eating habits, I don’t have good body image, I have self esteem problems I am always judging everything about myself and looking at the negative. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME? Please someone help me figure this out before I damage my daughter and she carries on the family tradition of bad body image and being overweight and loving herself with food the way I have….

All I have ever wanted was to teach her to be better than me. I want her to love me and look up to me. How can I do that with out her hating me for it and with out her turning into me?????

#Rethink2016

We Made It To The Beach

05 Tuesday Jul 2016

Posted by in Family, Love, Reboot

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Well we made it to the beach! We got off to a late start leaving the house (surprise surprise) then as we stopped for lunch and for cash at the bank The Hubs heard air coming from the tires. Earlier this season he had flat tires one morning when him and The Boy were on a trip for baseball. So we knew it had to be addressed. We did not want to have a blow out or flat on the side of the road so we stopped by Les Schwab and took care of he tires. Nothing $600 wouldn’t fix! 
Luckily we were close to a Wetlands area that has hiking trails and board walks that we took advantage of and went for a 3.5 mile walk around the wetlands. Then we were on our way a couple hours later it only took is about 7 hours to get here and usually takes 1.5-2.

We were met by our neighbor camper who was on his second ‘Margameeta’ he liked watching us set up because we were a young couple and young couples always have cool gadgets! I think it will be a fun week of camping. I love the waves and the sound of the ocean. Can’t wait for our typical yoga and kite flying sessions out on the beach tomorrow!

I love vacation!

#Recommit2016

Missing Dad HFD!

23 Thursday Jun 2016

Posted by in Dad, Family, Live in the Moment

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Every Father’s Day is hard to think about all the things I have not been able to share with my dad. I love watching my husband be a dad. Between his coaching duties and the time he spends playing and teaching our kids. He is just a good dad. He is a lot like my dad was. I enjoy seeing that. I just miss my Dad. He gave great Hugs! I really miss that!

So, I hope you all had a great Father’s Day! If you have a Dad whobgives good hugs take an extra for me please. Don’t wait until next Father’s Day to call him or spend time with him again!

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Happy Father’s Day!!

#Recommit2016 

Moving On Up

17 Friday Jun 2016

Posted by in Be Present, Family, Kids, Mom Stuff, Parenting, Raising Kids, Volunteering, Working Mom

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Well, this week has been an emotional week! It was the last week of school. The Girl finished her 6th grade year. Here, 6th grade is the mast year of elementary school. Next year they are shifting to a middle school system so I will be doing the whole move up process next year with the boy. I am not sad but I have ahead tears this week. I am happy for her she has done an amazing job so far in school, socially and academically. She has made it through a bad teachers friends and acquaintances being mean and rude to her, tough standardized testing, dance in the side increasing requirements leaving less time for free time and homework but has finished receiving a Presidential Award and straight As!

I have been super involved moat her school career. I was a stay at home mom for a lot of it and got to volunteer in the classroom so much that the teachers always gave me the “tough kids” in field trip groups because they k e w they could trust me and I could handle it. Some even left me in charge of their classrooms when they had to get stuff done. I have created a very close relationship with the copy machine for the teachers math assignments, one year I got to teach Art once a week because the teacher was so not artistic and they want art, I have read essays and helped correct math assignments. Also I got to read with so many when they were younger in a program called Dynamite Reading. When I was helping in Kindergarten I had to learn how to decipher the writing g that looked similar to a foreign language to figure out who’s paper was who. Now they are all moving up to Jr High. So much change and growth.

Luckily the Girl ended up with some very special friends and they are really graet kids. Low drama, loyal, loving and responsible kids they all are. I hope they stay that way! I hope the Girl continues to find friends like she has now.

I plan to sit down with her this summer and prepare her brain for all things Jr High. All things my mother never did for me. Talk about periods, boys, friend drama, the fact that teenage girls are the meanest thing in the planet and that teenage boys are the horniest and all they probably want is sex…(nit that that ever changes). I want her to be prepared for what is going to happen. I want her to be prepared to come to me as I will always be her friend and confidant when she needs one even when her BFF is unavailable and even though I make her do chores and hold her accountable.i want her to know I am there for her. But that won’t mean that I won’t expect her to be responsible and make good choices. I just want the communication lines open. I am still her parents I will protect her and parent her. Too many parents try to hard to be friends with their kids. I will be there like a friend but she will still get grounded for not doing homework!

This is a big step for our family. I am a very proud momma today. The boy will be in 5th grade next year and will be the first 5th grade class to move up to the Jr High. I can’t believe how fast this time has gone. I know I have a lot to learn as a parent but I would say I am doing pretty good. Both the Girl and the Boy are good kids and I feel like I know what I’m doing. OH SHIT, what did I just say?! Shit is about to hit the fan. Everytime I think I know what I’m doing something changes and throws a hitch in my plan and flow. But oh well, I will be on my toes and I will be ready! The only thing I would change is to take more of it in and not worry so much. So from here in our I am going to try to do just that. Take it all in, it won’t last forever! Teaching moments will happen. I just hope we can get through the rest of these parenting years without ruining our children’s spirit!

I just want them to be happy!
Class of 2022 and 2024!!

#2016

Dad’s Birthday 2016

28 Saturday May 2016

Posted by in Be Present, Family, Live in the Moment

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Today is/was my dad’s birthday. He today would’ve been 76 years old. If you didn’t know my dad past away January 2000 from a brain tumor from Metastasized Lung Cancer. I miss my dad a lot. I’m sad for so many things I have done that he never got to see.

He did not get to see the Girl ever. She was so pretty when she was born. She is getting g ready to start Jr High in September. I have shed a few tears in the last few days after the last elementary assembly where she was awarded a Global Thinker and Caring award as well as a Presidential Award for Academic Excellence. How did she turn out so good? I am so proud. He never got to meet her or the Boy.

I know he would be proud and I know he was in a lot of pain from his illness when he died. However, I can’t help but be sad that I don’t have a Dad who can see what I have become and what my children have become and be proud and then he would tell me. I know, selfish.

I am going to do my best to not leave my family early, and do my best to take in every moment. I am never sad for passing moments and milestones with my kids, I am proud of them and I try to be there to take it a in. You can slow down or turn back time. You can only enjoy the moment while it is here. Right now, I am enjoying it all. Life is crazy and busy and sometimes turned upside down but I love every minute. Without passing of time you don’t have memories to sit back and be fond of. I love my family, I live my life. I am proud of my kids. As well as proud of my husband and and I for staying out of the way enough for them to have turned out pretty well!

I miss my dad, but I know everything about him even him dying when I was 21 has shaped me to be the person I am. I miss him I am sad my kids could never meet him, but I am happy I had him for 21 years and Thankful for him.

#Recomitt2016