Category Archives: Family

New Start, Old Beginning

02 Saturday Mar 2019

Posted by in Be Present, Business, Everyday, Family, Live in the Moment, Marriage, Marriage is hard, Marriage is work, Mom Stuff, Organization, Raising Kids, Sex, Sex Love and Washing Clothes, Take the time to take care of yourself, Washing Clothes, Working Mom

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I titled today’s entry before I started to write. Normally I write and then pick a title. Today I have decided to start new, but it is an old beginning. I have had this beginning a lot. The I’m tired of fucking it up and want to get back on track. It has been a while since I have sat down to write. I have been busy doing what feels like spinning my wheels. I started blogging back in 2015 as a stay at home mom who was trying to encourage tried and weiry moms that it’s okay to “just be a mom” but shortly into 2015 I went back to work because well, our family needed the financial help and because I wanted to be more than “just a mom”. Sort of felt and still feels a little hypocritical. Old beginning because well, I have been here so many times before.Don't be afraid

I had a mission with this blog to help moms and dads stay in their marriage. At the time the Hubs and I had great sex but a rocky relationship. There were many times we kept our relationship together with just great sex. There was a lot left to be desired in our lives. We had communication issues that we were working on, as many busy parents with busy children have. We were and still are today stretched very thin! Sex was the one thing we could do that we both enjoyed without having to have much discussion and when I decided to have sex everyday in 2015 the Hubs was thrilled at the thought of not having to wonder when the next time he was going to get it. For the most part 2015 worked really well. The first part of 2016 was pretty good to but towards the end of that year it was a struggle. I had decided to move into private practice with my massage career and spent a lot of time working on my business which caused a lot of strain between the Hubs and I. That year ended really badly. I try not to say things are bad but at that time things were bad. I had felt like a fraud like I had wrote this blog all of 2015 and most of 2016 oh how to keep things together and make my marriage work and my plan had failed.  We were falling apart, it was almost the end of us. We decided to stay together, to work through our stuff and then another new old beginning.

Then 2017 went on rebuilding I decided to move my private practice home. The best of both worlds right? Well towards the end of 2017 another event happened that strained our relationship. Different but just as much of a strain and then that was almost the demise of us all of the struggles of 2016 came back in flashbacks and sorrow and just plain struggle. All the while we still maintained weekly date nights and tried to do the best we could with nightly sex and connecting but there were parts of both of us that were just unconnected, bitter and angry. We were also both remorseful for our roles in the fallout. We were sorry we were sad and missed each other like we had been on two separate continents! So decided to put it all behind us and onto another new but old beginning.

Then the start of 2018 we decided once again, we are here for the long haul. There is something to be said for two stubborn people being married and valuing their commitment made to each other! We have stayed our course through many very, oh so bumpy stretch of road the last few years. Maybe it’s maturity and maybe we are finally starting to “get” each other and fully commit to respect and love and cherish each other, it finally feels like we are moving on and getting over some of the same struggles we kept coming back to. Now, here in 2019 we can go weeks without fights. We even can have a spat and let it go with out dragging it on for hours or days and not resulting in the using the “D” word. We don’t have sex everyday but when we do it is good for both of us! I am considering a new #everyday challenge but I don’t want it to become a job again. In 2015 it was good, 2016 it was feeling more like a job and 2017 was just bad and 2018 the theme was “what happened to 2015?” But here in 2019 we are enjoying each other more, respecting each other more, loving each other more and having sex with each other more. Yes 2019 is still young and fresh and new but we are getting back to us! It has taken a while but we are doing well!

So that’s where the New Start, Old Beginning is, maybe it’s not such an old beginning, maybe this one is new it just gets old starting over again. Still the same: I am still working on my weight issues, still trying to decide what to do with my practice. Agonizing everyday if I am making the right parenting decisions and trying to convince the Hubs to get a dog and go house shopping or renovate ours. We have a lot to be happy about there is a lot going on here! As I sit back and look at things, I think why didn’t we just keep going with 2015? We got busy. Life gets crazy. Maybe we even got lazy or went on auto pilot. You can’t just sit back and let life take you where you want to go. Because unless you are driving the car it has a mind of it’s own and this girl wants to drive the direction I want to. The direction that will take my family in the right direction. For me, For the Hubs and for the kids. I am not a fan of this Old Beginning lets have a new beginning, start over on a new path!

One big thing I have struggled with is deciding what makes me tick. What do I want? I have spent so many years taking care of my family as a mom that I don’t even know what I want. I know I was insanely happy in the stroller days of my kids. Being able to load them in the stroller and go for a run. We would go pick up groceries in the stroller my house was not clean and my kids were very giddy and happy all the time. I can’t have those days back but I want that happiness back. Do I need to run more? Not worry about cleaning as much? I have started the Marie Kondu method but I just did my closets but now I’ve got to do my whole house.

So this year I want to find my passion. I love massage but it gives me stress billing and being a business owner, so can that really be my passion? I love to workout and exercise especially running and doing races but that doesn’t make me money to help with finances. I love and miss dancing but finances and time? I love to sing! I have spent more time singing karaoke and not missing the chance to sing than anything, how can I do that more? I miss writing here in my blog! I miss the words flowing really easily (can you tell?)

I told the boy yesterday that he had to decide to work hard when he is in a game. It is a conscious choice you have to make. Get up and grind and work hard but for me I struggle with that. So many different hats that I wear I struggle deciding where to put that effort. Not to mention I have ADD which does not help. This is my goal, this is my passion for this year, to find my passion and live it to the fullest! Doing it all while loving, taking care of and protecting my family. Balancing work life: growing a business, family life: getting everyone where they need to be when they need to be there, feeding them healthy meals and communicating all of that to the Hubs to get help from him and then not forgetting to cultivate our relationship in communication as well as sexualization. I want us to be happy these last few years before the kids leave us and give our kids a happy healthy place to live.

Is it doable? I believe so I will take you along on this journey this year and I will keep writing as this helps me process my thoughts and helps me stay positive. And gives me accountability! There may be things I have to let go of being in control of and getting my way but come with me this year on this journey and watch me win! One way or another!

Oh and by the way I turn 40 this year so there is a sense of urgency to show up and be me and know who “Me” is but not lose my family in the process. This will be no old beginning this is a fresh start to new beginnings, hard work and grind yes but love and laughter and passion to be found in this new beginning. In the process I will not let the hard work wear me down. I will not take the easy way out like I have in all the old beginnings. It’s hard, I won’t stop until I am where I want to be!

#ThisisRuby

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Call Your Friends

01 Thursday Feb 2018

Posted by in Connection, Dance, Do Your Thing, Don't judge me, Family, Friends, Raising Kids, Relax, Self Care, wrestling

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Why people are sad

Happy Thursday!!! So, there has been no alcohol consumed on this First day of February but for some reason the mood in here is light and airy, unlike it has been for the last month of Dry January. It is a good day here in the Earl household! The boy is well into his first year of Middle School Wrestling and doing great. He has had 2 matches on Varsity as a 6th grader, 2 wins, 1 with a pin and one by points. Today was the points match. It was intense the kid he wrestled was good but the Boy was better. He kept focus was strong and held him off and managed to score more points even when the ref was screwed up in his scoring (he had to score a couple Take-downs before he even got points). I love watching him wrestle he is doing great!

The girl is gearing up for her first full convention and competition this weekend. She will be on her own deciding what she can do per her knee pain. She has taken today and tomorrow’s classes off to give a rest before the big weekend. I hope she can hold up with minimal set backs but sometimes when you rehab from injury and reintroduce sports and workload, that happens. This is the competition that she won their title award a few years ago. I love seeing her win awards and get scholarships but I try not to attach to much emotion to that, but it’s hard! I just love watching her dance!

Today I had a girlfriend come over for coffee. OMG was that refreshing and so enjoyable! I really needed that and I think the two of us need to do that more often! It is refreshing for the soul. Women need supportive women friends to support each other. I am so happy to have reconnected. I met this friend through my daughter. The Girl and this friends daughter have been friends since 2 grade or so. The daughter is a great friend to the Girl and the mom to me. I am just so thankful and grateful for her. We had a great visit talking about everything under the sun even gossiping about our kids and their drama with their friends. We made a “we won’t tell anyone what we talked about today” pact. I love that! I love my friend!

You need people! We all need people especially us ladies. We thrive on each other we process emotions by talking to each other and it helps us to not kill our husbands and children and for ourselves. Men need that sense of community to but they process things differently sorry guys but I don’t know how to tell you to do it, but grab a guy friend go shoot hoops or play golf, boys don’t seem to need to talk as much as ladies they need to move, work on cars together or play sports. Bottom line we all need community and friends. Ladies tend to compete with each other and get petty and find faults we need to stop that! I am thankful that this mom friend has never made me feel like we are competing, Nor has she judged me, she’s a good friend! Not to mention she has been available to take my kids to and from school and even take the boy at times and she doesn’t have boys. She is really a great gal pal and I love her and we all need more of them.

Go be with your community! Be friends with your spouse and Have a friend group to hang with and confide in together but also separate from your spouse. Being loved and being social is one thing that helps us thrive. We need connection sometimes we need to ask our friends over for coffee and stop waiting for them to call us!

#SLWC2018

Productive Not Busy

20 Saturday Jan 2018

Posted by in Everyday, Family, Organization, Volunteering

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Busy day today! Cleaning and purging and reorganizing is a busy job! We worked at the clubhouse where we volunteer, it made me want to come home and do more. It is a goal of mine to purge my clutter in my house. Upstairs we have over 1000 square feet that is filled with 17 years of over flow and empty boxes from items we thought we should save etc. I just need to start taking the extra afternoons here and there and go through stuff.

We also, today, gave the boy his birthday present, he got an Xbox. Well, we got a new XboxOne S for the family room and the boy got to have the one we had. It goes in our living room so he can play when everyone else might be watching TV. But that is also the space that is shared with my office so he doesn’t have 100% free range all the time, but he’s super excited to have his own! He and Daddy can play games against each other and have the whole screen to themselves.

All in all, it was a good Saturday. The Girl got to go to a Birthday party and I got started on a project in my office on the dividers I am customizing. It has not gone super smoothly but progress is just that, right?

Since the Hubs got to set up the new XboxOne S he reset the TV and Surround Sound to work “cooler” so we have to check out a BlueRay, what do we pick? Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back.

Movie time friends enjoy your weekend

#SLWC2018

Change is Coming

14 Sunday Jan 2018

Posted by in #GoHawks, Be Present, Family, Football, Live in the Moment, Live life, Planning, Seahawks

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Today we are sitting watching NFL football and reminiscing about our Football team, the Seahawks. It’s been a few years since we haven’t been at a playoff game or had a game to watch during the playoffs. It’s great to be a good team but it takes constant work and effort and dynamic adjustments on many levels. Football is the ultimate team sport. The team has to work together as whole in order to win games and even more work to stay on top.

Football is dynamic in the game and even in-between seasons. Our team, the Seahawks, have seen so many changes. We’ve seen a lot stay the same as well. But if things that are dynamic and things that are static don’t groove together, you struggle. That is what happened this season. This is also what happens over time with relationships and families as well.

So many things are static but yet so many things are dynamic in life. It’s great if your loving the things that don’t change but if you are one who wants to embrace the dynamics of change and live with one who does not it can cause difficulty and struggle. The key is balance in life and football. There will always be change and there will always be things that stay the same. You cannot always affect them, be it to change or keep them the way you want.

We must, in order to be happy, embrace it all. Look for the things you love in every situation. Savor the passing moment as you are not guaranteed to have it again as much as you wish or want to or even try to keep it you will never get it back. It’s always good to remember what works, but realize you may not be able to duplicate it and that is okay. Change is really the only constant in life and change is not constant.

Acceptance, love, appreciation for the good is what we need to focus regardless of it’s what we think we want or need. Search for the good focus on the good enhance the good and put in hard work to affect change in the way you want it to go. If you don’t get the results you want, change is coming so don’t let it get you down!

Here’s to a better you, a better family, and a better football season, in 2018. It will take to perseverance to sustain and faith to change what needs to change.

#GoHawks

#SLWC2018

Take Risks

12 Friday Jan 2018

Posted by in Be Present, Business, Family, Working Mom

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10:49 and just now writing…ugh, I will get better at this! Today was busy BNI, then teeth cleaning, one to one with a colleague from BNI, the doctors appointment, run errands for the Girls dance competition, board meeting then home to cook dinner at 8:00…it was a busy but productive day.

Today on Facebook a friend of mine posted about taking risks. In my business I am about to make some changes and possibly take on a risk. It seems like a great business move if we can iron out a few details. I would work from home still part time but have an office to see clients from referring Chiropractor who needs someone to refer to. Will have to figure out details like rent etc…I love my work but the “business” side of things is always the stickler.

Because it’s so late I will leave you with this:

Keep reaching for your goals. If you have slipped up, reset and start over! My goals are still in tact, or have been reset. My Chinese herbs I take have been reset and I will be resetting my diet. Still dry January, I need a couple loads of laundry to catch up, but my sex number is still higher than the day of the year. I want to write more and make more time for it and exercise!

#SLWC2018

New Year’s Resolutions. blah blah

05 Friday Jan 2018

Posted by in Family, New Year, Sex Love and Washing Clothes

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New Years ResolutionsHappy 2018! I started this blog as a New Year’s Goal type thing in 2015. That year and this blog was where #Everyday2015 started. In 2013 I did #13in2013 where I did 13 races in 2013 I decided on that on New Years Eve 12/31/12 while participating in a half Marathon which is 13.1 miles the number 13 is significfant in my life, that’s another story. The point I am making is that in 2013 and 2015 at the end of the year I could look back and pat myself on the back and say “good job, you did it.” In 2016 I gave myself a break with the whole everyday thing and stopoped pressing so hard to blog everyday, I was trying to give myself some grace, my life kind of went in the wrong direction or in no direction it was not all bad, however. I had a rough end to 2016 then 2017 hasn’t been super awesome both of those years I had no goal no real direction except to “be better” “do my best” but nothing measurable so I decided this year to start over and give myself goals and now here I am writing them down. I am revisiting #everyday with sex and writing starting today. So let me just lay it out there what I am setting goals for.

First I am going to Sex Love and Washing Clothes every day! Everyday I will actually Wash Clothes, at least one load of laundry a day (massage sheets count!). I will be having sex with the Hubs everyday! We even had a bit of an argument the other day and I still followed through with that. So I need to schedule writing in everyday and include Hump Day Challenge every week on Wednesdays. I want to at least update how the goals are doing every day so you may end up with tallies on a template for some days I will work on that and get it prepped for Monday to be all in and ready.

Fitness wise, get back in to exercising regularly. I am going to start with a goal or running 50 miles per month. I also want to add in other exercise as well. I’d like to get in the gym 2-3 days per week and make a minimum of 100 days in the gym (or lifting weights, cycling swimming or something other than running if I decide to cancel the gym membership). Weight loss goals I am shooting for 1% loss per week until I hit my goal of 150 (which I think I am going to amend to 140). I am in weight loss challenges and just completed on that I lost 8.6% in 10 weeks I need to step it up a bit adding exercise and  continuing to follow my eating plan will help.

Family Goals. We are as a family having dinner together Saturday Night and doing a little meeting where we are all going to present our goals. Each family member was instructed to set some goals for the year be it remember to brush my teeth every night or do my homework with out being told or have no missing assignments at school etc. The kids have never done this so they may need some direction. The Hubs doesn’t really do this either. I am hoping that he will do it and as a family we can support each other in being healthier and living more intentionally. Have one family day a month to do something together. A whole day for a family outing something like go to Seattle and window shop, go to the Zoo, or for a drive to have a picinic or even just a local hike at a park. Just something that is with the family and for family not for dance or baseball or any other reason or agenda. Also to eat at least one meal a week around the table with no T.V. on.

Dry January no drinking in Jaunary actually I am extending it through Superbowl. Superbowl Sunday is the next drink I will have, if I decide to have one. Since the Seahawks are not in the Playoffs and there is a dance competition that weekend I may not even then but technically I could. I am considering giving up booze all together at some point in the future for now lets stick to January.

This  is going to sound weird and maybe bad/embarrassing but I have a goal to get in the shower and wash make up off my face! Sometimes on a weekend or a slow day after a few busy days staying in yoga pants or jammies all day is acceptable. If you’re a mom I am sure you can relate to the grind of dry shower shampooing your hair or grabbing a hat because there is no time or the extra 15 minutes in bed is worth it. I am going to make an effort to not do that for more than 2 days. Also Make my bed EVERYDAY and put my clothes away and not throw them on the floor!

So there you have it. My New Year’s Resolutions have been set even though I HATE the word resolutions. I hate the word resolutions because New Year’s Resolutions are meant to be broken so I just say goals or this is what I am going to do… I am working on a hashtag for the year but for now I will just hashtag each post with it’s own so this one will just be #Intentions

#Intentions2017 #Day1

Christmas Eve

25 Monday Dec 2017

Posted by in Family, Live in the Moment, Love, Love Your Kids, Marriage, Marriage is hard, Parenting, Raising Kids, Sex Love and Washing Clothes

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The kids are in bed, presents all wrapped and set up for them to find in the morning. The Hubs is sleeping next to me after a long fun filled day of Seahawks away game party and the Christmas Eve gathering we have at our house. Today was a beautiful day. Our team won! Go Hawks! We had some of our best friends with us for dinner, drinks, cookie decorating, and spending quality time together.

Growing up Christmas Eve in my house was very similar. My Dad’s tradition was to set up the Christmas Tree on Christmas Eve. We would have an open house friends would come by and out an ornament on the tree and eat food and spend time with us. It was at that event on this night in 1996 that The Hubs and shared our first kiss. Who knew we would end up here 21 years later. I would not change it for the world.

We have had many bumps and turns in the road of our life. This last year has been a really rough year and I fear some roughness in our future, but at the end of the day, I look at this man and all we have created together and count my blessings and remember why I am here. I love this man who is snoring next to me. He is, sometimes, really hard to live with and sometimes, I want to ring his neck but he is my soulmate. We clash in many things but those are the things that balance us. We a have busy chaotic life that adds stress but one day the kids will be grown and we will slow down and we will cherish these years the most.

My goal for 2018 is living in the moment more and really enjoying our kids. We spend a lot of money and a lot of time on them. Sometimes that distracts us from enjoying them. They are fun to watch don’t here thing. The girl is an amazing dancer. I want to appreciate her dance more especially since she is talking about not dancing after this year. The Boy plays 4 sports now. He added Basketball once Christmas break is over wrestling will start and booked ending those are Football and baseball. He is a good athlete he has a good attitude and really enjoys what he does. I want him to know it’s about playing hard and doing well but mostly it’s about having fun while you do it. Same worth The Girl it’s not about winning scholarships at competition it’s about having fun, putting yourself into the dance and let it move you.

Today I sit here in appreciation of my family. The Hubs takes really good care of this family with his work and providing for us. We are able this year to help my mom out and got her a car that should last her a while. It is a nicer car than she has and most of all SAFE! I feel pretty thankful that my husband will also take care of my mom like that. I like to be able to play Santa to my mom, I know she will appreciate it and I am thankful she will have a safe car to use when she is transporting my children around town. She does that a lot! It’s a way of paying her back for that.

I am just in awe of my family right now. The Hubs and I have had a really rough year but right now in this moment I feel joy and love and appreciation. I want to hold that feeling close to my heart and focus on that in 2018.

#LoveAlways2017

Live Stop Worrying

27 Monday Mar 2017

Posted by in Be Present, Be You, Do You, Don't judge me, Family, Love, Uncategorized

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worryingHello followers, let me start by saying. I am struggling.  Acutely today I have so much on my mind, so much that has happened, so much I want to accomplish and so much to write and share (because I haven’t written much lately)  and also some to keep private and not write about (we all know that is hard for me not to over share) and since I haven’t been blogging much this may be a little disjointed, I mean, more than normal. I was asked the other day to remove my filter…they obviously don’t read my blog or maybe they do because they know it’s possible for me to do so. But yes, in real life I have this filter. Call it a mask of sometime professionalism, sometimes shyness, just a filter that I don’t say everything I am afraid to be judged or I want to make sure I am being appropriate…I don’t really know why. So hear goes sans filter Ruby is going to spill and hopefully today organize my thoughts and life and get back on track where I want to be. And for you I hope you can be inspired by my thoughts either by realizing you are not as messed as me or by realizing you are not alone out there.

Why the fuck is it so hard to just live? I want to do so much but for some reason I am so tired. I get going and then my energy fizzles out. Today I wanted to get in a run, do some admin business stuff, some billing and returning phone calls, also wanted to clean and organize at the house catch up with laundry. This morning was a great breakfast. I was able to get the kids lunches made, then I made them breakfast. I made eggs, English muffin toast, strawberries and smoothies for the kids. The boy we struggle with eating and he ate his whole breakfast today. I was on a roll. Then they both got to school and I got home and had to do some computer stuff. Then it was almost 10:00 and I had to decide what to do…go for a run, or get ready and get to a business networking thing at 11:30 or do something else like clean or write in my blog…

Why the fuck can’t I just make the right choice for myself? Why don’t I do what I want to do to get me closer to where I want to be. I want to be a great mom that takes care of her family by cooking and cleaning and having a relaxed calm home environment. I also want to have a successful business and sometimes that means making sacrifices at home but I hate choosing which has to sacrifice. Balance is just not always an option!! But it has to be! We need balance to be healthy! Everyone does! Sometimes I feel like I am getting it and then the next day shit hits the fan and I am feeling fucked and not in a good way! I just want to figure life out why this fuck is it so hard?!

And why is it that when I feel like I have things under control the bottom drops out? So even when things are good, really things are pretty goo right now. Business is doing alright, life is good the Hubs and I are getting along and happy but this is how I felt in December when my life got turned upside down! I was getting in the groove of working the business, The Hubs and I were happy. I had some great (I thought) friends in my life all was well. Then the bottom dropped out. I am kind of waiting for that to happen right now. Life has really felt like it has slowed down. You know the way that commentators talk about the game slowing down for rookies in the NFL. Nothing changes they just get used to seeing the speed of the NFL vs College etc. Life has really felt like it’s slowed down and we are in the midst of competition and tournament season! What horrible thing is about to happen or has already happened that I am about to find out? Why the fuck do I have to think this way? Why can’t I relax and enjoy life? Why can’t I remove the filter? What am I afraid of?

PLAN: Here is my plan what I want anyway. I want to write more, exercise more, enjoy the moments I have with my family and have moments with myself and one on one time with the Hubs, and be successful in business so I can help my family do everything and have everything we want. Just that sentence brings tears to my eyes because it feels like so much and I am sad I have to say it out loud, how did I let myself get here away from these things? I should plan time for everything. Time for writing and exercising in my schedule and push myself to follow it. Get my house cleaned up and organized and then take time to keep it that way and having the business I may need to hire a housecleaner to help keep up on the house thing. I need a better plan and more than just giving myself grace I need to trust myself when I am feeling like things are slowing down. The game really is slowing down for me! I need to accept that. It’s time to pass the ball to my trusted teammates and manage this game in a way that will most benefit the team! I need to be MVP in my life so my team can win and winning is when we are all happy and healthy and enjoying life! That is balance!

What the fuck did I just say?! I really need to stay focused and push myself to get where I want to be and I need to pass the ball to those who can advance our life when needed. I need to stop worrying about the lineman who is going to hit me from the blindside and focus on the play and execute! I have a team to support me and need to use that. But it’s my job to manage this game I can and I will rock this. I need to allow myself to live and enjoy and celebrate the good times and stop worrying!

#Live2017

Women Are Artists of Balance

08 Wednesday Mar 2017

Posted by in Be Present, Be You, Family, Live in the Moment, Love, Working Mom

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I struggle sometimes with the happiness of each moment that is shrouded with sacrifice in another arena of life but that is what being a woman means to me: You can do anything you want, you can even do everything but you can’t do it all, at the same time, physics and laws of the universe like gravity limit you! That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t relish in your joy of work even when your missing you kids basketball game. And when you’ve blocked yourself out from work to catch a game trust that it will be there for you when you return. 

Surrounded yourself with good support be it a great friend or aunty who can take photos so you don’t miss a shot when you Aube to work. Also, have great employees or coworkers or referral partners that can hold down the fort so you can catch the kids basketball games and such! It is balance my friends and we as women are artists of balance! 

Let’s stop beating ourselves up because of gravity! We can balance the weight of the world on our shoulders, practice your son’s curve ball and nail the new dance hairstyle and have dinner on the table (even if it’s pizza on a paper plate) and still hold the eye of our husbands because fuck him like crazy when it’s time, because we are women who are artists of balance and we do it with a smile! 

Allow yourself to feel the same smile, give yourself grace. You put it on for everyone else because you are an artist, you are a woman! You know what matters, your love, your family, your work, your husband and your house matters, but everything has its time. It’s okay to pick and choose and give yourself grace. It’s okay to give your children a few chores and it’s okay to have dishes in the sink! Be you, love you! Always do your best you know what matters each moment that so focus on that everything else will have its time.

#Art2017

#WomensDay2017

Plan Focus Give Grace

26 Sunday Feb 2017

Posted by in Be Present, Cleaning, Connection, Family, Friends, Homemaker, Live in the Moment, Marriage is work, Organization, Parenting, Planning, Raising Kids, Schedule, Working Mom

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Hello Readers,

I have to confess, I have had a rough go lately. The Hubs and I have been struggling. It’s hard for me to write encouraging posts when I don’t feel so positive it is hard for me to write positive without feeling like a fake. So, with that said, I am feeling more positive, I know that I may be having some sort of depression or anxiety and need to pay attention and not get lost in it. I am going to be going back to counseling on my own and I will be checking in with my GP about some tummy issues I’ve been having, to keep my health a priority and take care of me. As a person, as a mom, as a wife and a health care provider it is hard to serve in your roll if you feel down and ineffective. Like they say it is impossible to serve from an empty vessel.

empty-vesselIn my life in the last week I have had some clarity of mind to realize I need to focus on me. Not in a selfish way where you are “more important” than your family, that you are charged with taking care of, but in a way to be the healthiest you so your family can have a healthy mom, healthy wife and your clients can have a healthy provider coming from a place of love and caring. I have been so bogged down with stress in life that I am complaining a lot, offended easily and my brain gets flooded and I get angry easily. So much so that I don’t really recognize myself and then when the hubs and I get into “special moments” I feel like I turn into some monster that is not me! Then it spirals out of control! So I am taking control of me. Part of that is me getting back into blogging here. I want to encourage people who are or have been in my spot. Also it helps me to get my feelings out and helps me to help guide myself in a positive way, not just my readers. Plus entertaining readers with my Hump Day Challenges is a passion of mine that I have missed the last few weeks.

Another part is getting back to my life. I have been working a lot and losing site of what really matters. My work matters but there is a balance that needs to be heeded. A balance of working in my business (doing massage) as well as working on my business (admin stuff like billing and marketing). I love networking for marketing and I have a lot of friends that I network with but that networking time needs to be just that and sometimes the balance of networking and socializing line blurs and loses potency.

So to deter the blurred lines of friend time and networking time I plan to be more active in my life with friends. We all struggle balance with work and fun but it is important to stay in touch with your “people”. You know, the ones who can figure out your drunk text typos and actually answer or support you in those moments! So one part of this gaining balance and getting back to me is scheduling girlfriend time as well as date nights and family nights! All three is important as important as work time.

Another part is planning house work time. This is harder for me because really, who wants to do the bull shit tasks of cooking, cleaning and grocery shopping? Especially after work and taxiing around the kids after a full day of work? But if you ignore it or don’t plan it you end up with those “special moments” with the Hubs that no one really wants! So this next sentence is very important, You must plan with your family! Everyone in the family has a responsibility  for how the house runs! The Hubs and I have had some conversations on this and although we haven’t really planned it all out, we have made huge gains in this area. The Hubs has started helping with dishes and putting laundry away. There is much to be said about a person who actually steps up to handle the things that they hate not being done versus just complaining about it! So: MAKE A FAMILY PLAN ABOUT HOW YOUR HOUSE WILL BE RAN AND EVERYONE CONTRIBUTE! Talk about it and follow through.

So to sum up this long post:

  1. Take care of you if that means going to the doctor, counselor, journaling, exercising, What ever it is, make time!! My plan get back to counseling, exercise everyday (at least cardio), get to doctor about tummy issues, have grace with myself when I am overwhelmed!
  2. Schedule and stick to it you work and admin time in your business! My plan just get it admin and massage time on the books and don’t waiver regardless of the client and their schedule, make my schedule and family time as important as theirs. Balance!
  3. Schedule Date nights, family nights and time with “your people” My plan: Schedule girlfriend time once a month, Date nights weekly and actually go, Family nights or outings weekly
  4. Schedule House work and responsibilities! Everyone has a responsibility to participate it is not all on mom regardless if mom is a working mom stay at home. We need to teach our kids they have to contribute as well as the husbands. Talk about it and make a plan! My Plan: schedule family menu planning meetings, utilize Clicklist with preplanned menus. Give kids chores and follow through with them to do it on schedule before practices and dance.
  5. GIVE GRACE! Let everyone have a little grace with heavy stress load times of homework, busy work days and heavily scheduled tournaments or competitions. Everyone is trying hard to motivate through life! We all want what’s best for our family and ourselves and sometimes we need to take a nap instead of vacuum! As long as we are all doing our best when our family needs help lets lend a helping hand they will do the same for you when you need! Help each other out to get to the goal and enjoy the good moments like the tournament wins and realize sometimes those things come when the house is messy, but when those moments are over and we have down time we can catch up when we need to! As long as there is not mold growing on the dishes and the house isn’t burning down and there is a dance to watch or a game going on…take it in! Enjoy these busy crazy moments building a lives, growing children into adults, growing a business and creating a life! Make it happy!!!

Live the life you’ve imagined because remember in your dreams you saw the results not the work that it takes to get there! FOCUS on what is important. Family, friends, lives, and moments are important! Money and dishes and laundry will go away savor moments with your people!!!

#Live2017