Category Archives: Live in the Moment

This Growing up Thing is Hard on Me

05 Wednesday Jul 2017

Posted by in Be Present, Be You, Dance, Dance Like No One is Watching, Do You, Live in the Moment, Parenting

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Well, it has been a while since I have written. I can’t even remember when…to my loyal readers apologies. Today I am writing from Nationals. The Girl is competing in a Nationals Dance Competition. She is in 5 group numbers and a solo. Have I said how much I love to watch her dance? If you have read my blog you have read that a few times! This year the Girl turned 13, she is starting to become her own person. Not that she hasn’t always been her own person but she is just starting to grow up. She definitely wants her own identity. It used to be cute that everyone loved her mom and loved her mom being around but now it’s just not. Not to her anyway. The older dancers are still super sweet to me and seem to understand my pain when I am shunned by my daughter but the Girl just wants to grow her wings. I need to get out of her way and let her make a name for her.

This dance year I have decided it is my job to support her. Many things I hear my Coach Husband say is that parents just need to get out of their kids way. I need to learn that lesson it has been my mom work this year. There is a dance instructor for Liz Imperio who teaches a class called Raising Successful Children that I started but got too busy to finish the webinar (which has been a theme in my life this year) and it’s focus was to guide us parents in how to get out of our children’s way. I love watching her grow, I love watching her dance! There is a part of me that is struggling letting go of that mommy role that needs to be there to protect and guide my child. She is growing up I have taught her to think for herself and stand up for what is right and to advocate for herself. She doesn’t need me to do that because I taught her to be strong in herself! I taught her to not define herself in what other people think of her. And she does not. She changes for no one. She is who she is, she likes what she likes and for the most part doesn’t care or waiver for anything. Not even for me! Sometimes I wish she would for me but I should be proud that she doesn’t. Sometimes she does waiver to fit in with her friends. I feel for her in those moments because I have spent my life doing that and that is not what I want for her! I want her to be her, even if it hurts my feelings.

How did I teach her to do that when I am not strong in myself? How can I be that strong human I am teaching her to be when I am not that strong human myself? I am proud that she is independent. I love who she is. Sometimes I wish there was less Diva but other times I am so proud of that diva because that Dive protects her when mean girls are mean. And that Diva protects the girl who is getting picked on in a group by my child being the one to stand up to the mean one in the place of the child who is getting picked on or feeling bad when that child is too weak. I am proud of that diva! I pray that when I stifle the diva for my feelings that I don’t stifle the good out of her diva! How was I able to teach her these things? I have no idea how, but I am proud she has learned them!

I am going through yet another identity crisis in parenting, and I don’t even know what it is. I am obviously still her mom and she needs me and I know deep down she wants me around, but she wants me to keep my distance and not over shadow who she is or what she does. I get it! I was there, I may still be there with my mom. When she needs me I will be there. I have seen this happen recently. She does talk to me like a friend sometimes and I to her but she also knows that she must do what she is told and what is expected of her. I don’t really believe in being your child’s best friend until they are adults anyway but sometimes she is mine. She is the only one who can’t leave me and would never think of it, I think… Anyway, I want her to continue to grow in success and keep that diva spunk that will take her far and I just have to get over myself!

Now I have to go watch her solo I am so excited to see her dance! I love watching her on stage and in her element. It is her happy place I am so glad she has dance for that, lord knows she needs a place of her own to just BE. I love her!

#Dance2017dance parent

To drug or not to drug….

11 Sunday Jun 2017

Posted by in Be You, Do You, Don't judge me, Kids, Live in the Moment, Mom Stuff, Parenting, Working Mom

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This video (click to view link) hits home for me! So much shame in my life not as a child but as an adult, I was diagnosed as an adult with ADD! I  feel, I made it through as a child because I am a people pleaser so being a good student and approval from teachers when I did well is what drove me and made me succeed. Thank goodness I am pretty smart and Thank goodness I had great teachers and parents who gave me that approval!!

ADDSince being diagnosed, I have not found a medication that works for me. I kind of have something against taking medication. I don’t really know what, but I just don’t want to admit to myself and everyone else that I have to take medication to be normal! I also think I don’t want to admit there is a normal and that I’m not normal! I kind of hate that word “normal” it is what most “normal” people think is normal and if you have ADD, it is not “normal” for your brain to function as a “normal” person’s brain functions. Your brain does not decipher a hierarchy of things that are important or stay focused on the task at hand or manage time well. A person with ADD has to remind their mind what the task at hand is. We, ADD folks are great at living in the moment! I am a great forgiver! I forgive a lot of times when I probably shouldn’t. I think of something that would be a great idea and I jump on it! If I have time (or if I perceive I have time or if it is really important or interesting or something that I perceive as pressing) I get on it right away, I don’t want to forget about it. Forgetfulness is a big part of ADD. A lot of people see it as a kid who can’t sit still or walk, they always run….it is so much more than that! Do I want my brain to function like “normal”? Won’t that change me? As much as I “hate” myself and they way my brain works, I don’t want “me” to change. See my dilemma?…

I have self medicated with food and sometimes alcohol and thank goodness I have stayed away from illegal drugs, credit to the DARE program for that! But taking the stigma off of “drugs” proven to help ADHD’ers would definitely change my world of shame… So much shame in my life. My son is just like me, forgetful, figgidity, and impulsive….. Not driven as much by people pleasing but then again his dad and I are tough on him so he doesn’t get the praise as much as I did, and he is just like his dad, he is confident almost a little arrogant. He is more solid in what he likes and who he is. It’s not as important to him to impress people the way it was (and still is) to me. I worry about my son turning into me or worse than me. I have a husband who keeps me straight. He pays the bills, I would struggle remembering those things. Will my son be able to do those things that are important. Will my son remember to turn in his homework?… does he need medication? Do I? Will it help? How can I tell? I should get my shit together first before diagnosing or assuming anything about him. ADD is genetic as much as the color of your eyes, of course one of the kids has it but what to do???

So many questions all I know is that, this video hit home. Lot’s of things in my life right now are up in the air and there are a lot of questions in my not so distant future. Lot’s of decisions that can alter my life’s direction. ADD is a big deal to me, it is a big frustration in our lives. Actually our lives are complicated, every parents life is complicated, ADD makes it more difficult. Medication is not for everyone, acceptance is. I have neither for myself and here I am without a mom to drive me to a psychologist like the girl in the video I am an adult now trying to navigate and wanting so badly a mommy to tell me what the right direction is and take me there! I was not diagnosed as having ADD as a 6 year old but right now I feel like it has reduced me to a 6 year old, in that I don’t know what to do, and I can’t function but please don’t treat me like a child!!!

If this is a little disjointed, think of it as a taste of how an ADD brain works…very disjointed distracted and impulsive…..lacking direction sometimes…..wanting so badly to get noticed and get my point across and be understood but lacking the brain function and organization to do so…. and add to that, trying to do it in a short amount of time because of course I didn’t give myself enough time, it was an impulsive moment that I had something to say!

#ADDbrain

Women Are Artists of Balance

08 Wednesday Mar 2017

Posted by in Be Present, Be You, Family, Live in the Moment, Love, Working Mom

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I struggle sometimes with the happiness of each moment that is shrouded with sacrifice in another arena of life but that is what being a woman means to me: You can do anything you want, you can even do everything but you can’t do it all, at the same time, physics and laws of the universe like gravity limit you! That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t relish in your joy of work even when your missing you kids basketball game. And when you’ve blocked yourself out from work to catch a game trust that it will be there for you when you return. 

Surrounded yourself with good support be it a great friend or aunty who can take photos so you don’t miss a shot when you Aube to work. Also, have great employees or coworkers or referral partners that can hold down the fort so you can catch the kids basketball games and such! It is balance my friends and we as women are artists of balance! 

Let’s stop beating ourselves up because of gravity! We can balance the weight of the world on our shoulders, practice your son’s curve ball and nail the new dance hairstyle and have dinner on the table (even if it’s pizza on a paper plate) and still hold the eye of our husbands because fuck him like crazy when it’s time, because we are women who are artists of balance and we do it with a smile! 

Allow yourself to feel the same smile, give yourself grace. You put it on for everyone else because you are an artist, you are a woman! You know what matters, your love, your family, your work, your husband and your house matters, but everything has its time. It’s okay to pick and choose and give yourself grace. It’s okay to give your children a few chores and it’s okay to have dishes in the sink! Be you, love you! Always do your best you know what matters each moment that so focus on that everything else will have its time.

#Art2017

#WomensDay2017

Plan Focus Give Grace

26 Sunday Feb 2017

Posted by in Be Present, Cleaning, Connection, Family, Friends, Homemaker, Live in the Moment, Marriage is work, Organization, Parenting, Planning, Raising Kids, Schedule, Working Mom

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Hello Readers,

I have to confess, I have had a rough go lately. The Hubs and I have been struggling. It’s hard for me to write encouraging posts when I don’t feel so positive it is hard for me to write positive without feeling like a fake. So, with that said, I am feeling more positive, I know that I may be having some sort of depression or anxiety and need to pay attention and not get lost in it. I am going to be going back to counseling on my own and I will be checking in with my GP about some tummy issues I’ve been having, to keep my health a priority and take care of me. As a person, as a mom, as a wife and a health care provider it is hard to serve in your roll if you feel down and ineffective. Like they say it is impossible to serve from an empty vessel.

empty-vesselIn my life in the last week I have had some clarity of mind to realize I need to focus on me. Not in a selfish way where you are “more important” than your family, that you are charged with taking care of, but in a way to be the healthiest you so your family can have a healthy mom, healthy wife and your clients can have a healthy provider coming from a place of love and caring. I have been so bogged down with stress in life that I am complaining a lot, offended easily and my brain gets flooded and I get angry easily. So much so that I don’t really recognize myself and then when the hubs and I get into “special moments” I feel like I turn into some monster that is not me! Then it spirals out of control! So I am taking control of me. Part of that is me getting back into blogging here. I want to encourage people who are or have been in my spot. Also it helps me to get my feelings out and helps me to help guide myself in a positive way, not just my readers. Plus entertaining readers with my Hump Day Challenges is a passion of mine that I have missed the last few weeks.

Another part is getting back to my life. I have been working a lot and losing site of what really matters. My work matters but there is a balance that needs to be heeded. A balance of working in my business (doing massage) as well as working on my business (admin stuff like billing and marketing). I love networking for marketing and I have a lot of friends that I network with but that networking time needs to be just that and sometimes the balance of networking and socializing line blurs and loses potency.

So to deter the blurred lines of friend time and networking time I plan to be more active in my life with friends. We all struggle balance with work and fun but it is important to stay in touch with your “people”. You know, the ones who can figure out your drunk text typos and actually answer or support you in those moments! So one part of this gaining balance and getting back to me is scheduling girlfriend time as well as date nights and family nights! All three is important as important as work time.

Another part is planning house work time. This is harder for me because really, who wants to do the bull shit tasks of cooking, cleaning and grocery shopping? Especially after work and taxiing around the kids after a full day of work? But if you ignore it or don’t plan it you end up with those “special moments” with the Hubs that no one really wants! So this next sentence is very important, You must plan with your family! Everyone in the family has a responsibility  for how the house runs! The Hubs and I have had some conversations on this and although we haven’t really planned it all out, we have made huge gains in this area. The Hubs has started helping with dishes and putting laundry away. There is much to be said about a person who actually steps up to handle the things that they hate not being done versus just complaining about it! So: MAKE A FAMILY PLAN ABOUT HOW YOUR HOUSE WILL BE RAN AND EVERYONE CONTRIBUTE! Talk about it and follow through.

So to sum up this long post:

  1. Take care of you if that means going to the doctor, counselor, journaling, exercising, What ever it is, make time!! My plan get back to counseling, exercise everyday (at least cardio), get to doctor about tummy issues, have grace with myself when I am overwhelmed!
  2. Schedule and stick to it you work and admin time in your business! My plan just get it admin and massage time on the books and don’t waiver regardless of the client and their schedule, make my schedule and family time as important as theirs. Balance!
  3. Schedule Date nights, family nights and time with “your people” My plan: Schedule girlfriend time once a month, Date nights weekly and actually go, Family nights or outings weekly
  4. Schedule House work and responsibilities! Everyone has a responsibility to participate it is not all on mom regardless if mom is a working mom stay at home. We need to teach our kids they have to contribute as well as the husbands. Talk about it and make a plan! My Plan: schedule family menu planning meetings, utilize Clicklist with preplanned menus. Give kids chores and follow through with them to do it on schedule before practices and dance.
  5. GIVE GRACE! Let everyone have a little grace with heavy stress load times of homework, busy work days and heavily scheduled tournaments or competitions. Everyone is trying hard to motivate through life! We all want what’s best for our family and ourselves and sometimes we need to take a nap instead of vacuum! As long as we are all doing our best when our family needs help lets lend a helping hand they will do the same for you when you need! Help each other out to get to the goal and enjoy the good moments like the tournament wins and realize sometimes those things come when the house is messy, but when those moments are over and we have down time we can catch up when we need to! As long as there is not mold growing on the dishes and the house isn’t burning down and there is a dance to watch or a game going on…take it in! Enjoy these busy crazy moments building a lives, growing children into adults, growing a business and creating a life! Make it happy!!!

Live the life you’ve imagined because remember in your dreams you saw the results not the work that it takes to get there! FOCUS on what is important. Family, friends, lives, and moments are important! Money and dishes and laundry will go away savor moments with your people!!!

#Live2017

 

Give Yourself Time This Time

12 Monday Dec 2016

Posted by in Be Present, Be You, Live in the Moment

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There are decisions we face daily that affect our lives in bigger ways than we know. Sometimes you make the best decision other times they are not so good. I am refraining away from saying right and wrong. We don’t always know what is right and what is wrong. I think more often than not there is no right and there is no wrong. There is always better or worse decisions or things you could have done. I guess there are somethings that are “right” and/or “wrong” but not everyone defines those things the same so it is up to interpretation in certain situations.

your-decisions-not-circumstancesHave you ever had a situation in your life that you feel like keeps repeating itself? When you realize it is about decisions you are making (or not making) in life, then what do you do? How do you respond differently to people and get them to believe you when you decide to go a different way this time? You have always been a certain way and now your friends are sitting there going “What the FUCK? She’s never meant that before!” How do you get them to believe you? What makes you make the decision to separate the old you and the new you? I have read about people recovering from addiction struggling with this. Their old friends want them to be the same way they always have been but a sober person is not always the same when you are used to a drunk or high person. Friends no longer know how to handle you and you no longer know how to handle them. It puts you in a little pickle. An uncomfortable spot that you don’t know how to act differently and the old you would just go grab a beer and move forward but you are now trying to not grab that beer. You miss your friends and your people you know you want to be different but how can you? How do you live one way and change midstream?

I do not have that answer! I wish I did because right now I am faced with a similar situation. My “addiction” however is the addiction to taking the path of least resistance. That is not always the right path or the best path! In reality it is usually much the opposite! I have in my life tried to do what is “right” or best in my life but I think, in some situations, I have chosen what was easy. Not all decisions and sometimes, most times I have come out on the other side to finally make the decision that was right after putting up with negativity, and bull shit for too long! I have self sacrificed my sanity and happiness sometimes in my work and my business and sometimes in my relationship and as a mom and volunteer. I have not always been the best at getting the best for myself. Well, that’s about to change, it needs to change. The hardest part of that is knowing what is the best. Separating what is best from what you really want or what is easy and convenient. How do you know if it’s what you SHOULD do or if it’s what you WANT to do? Some things are easy like you shouldn’t eat a whole chocolate cake when you feel bad about yourself, but others hard, like deciding weather to buy the perfect house in the wrong location or the perfect location with the wrong house. Neither is really wrong one is best in one category and the other is the best in the other category and only you can decide which category is most important!

This blog post is not about giving advice or an answer for this. NOPE! It takes you knowing yourself, truly knowing yourself. Being able to decipher the right decision takes you getting right with no one else but you! If you are anything like me that is the toughest thing you will do on this planet. I can have it all figured out in my head when I out on a run (that is when I solve world problems) or when I am by myself but then when faced with it in real life I choke. I struggle knowing the difference between what I want and/or need and what I think I am supposed to want and/or need. The beauty in most things in life is you can change your mind, you can always change your direction. It is hard, but Possible. I must also mention making life decisions when you are a parent is, it affects your kids not just you. My goal in life is to give my kids the best life has to offer. To grow them in a happy environment with little need for therapy when they become adults. I can change my mind and make my life better at any moment but does that harm them? That’s what muddies the water of making the best decision for me. I truly believe the best decision for you, is also the best decision for your children regardless.So really that shouldn’t (there I go should-ing again) affect your personal decision.

The best decision for you IS the best decision for you. Have faith in yourself (there I go giving advice, advice I don’t take very well myself) take time in making decisions but always know as hard as it is to make the decision there are not many that you can’t go back and change. However, I personally, would prefer to do it right the first time! Time heals all, right? Time is the piece I always forget when I am faced with decisions that are hard, it takes time. I will give myself time, this time. I will follow through and I will make the best decision based on everything, not just how I feel right now, five days ago, last night or tomorrow night but based on what I think after some time has passed and WHEN I KNOW it is the best/right decision for me. They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. I am usually forced to make decisions in the right now, how do we create change now?! Well, this time I am going to wait and try it and see what will happen before I decide. I’ve got this, I am sure if you are reading this it will resonate with you and you will do the same. So here is to us creating change in our lives by giving it time. Time to decide and having faith in ourselves, knowing what is right when we know what is right and then doing it. We will do what is right, not what is easy but what is hard. It is what is BEST!

#Change2016

 

 

Be Thankful

24 Thursday Nov 2016

Posted by in Live in the Moment

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​Happy Thanksgiving. We want to thank Toby and Fred, our two Turkeys who sacrificed all for our Thanksgiving dinner. Toby got to smoke in the Traeger, and Fred got cooked in the deep frier. Here are pictures of Toby and Fred post cooking. Thank you Toby and Fred. You both tasted yummy and created mouth watering, orgasmic like flavor in our mouths! To Toby and Fred, thank you!

Fred who was Deep Fried

Toby who was smoked in the Traeger

For real though, I am thankful for yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Yesterday was a rough day. Today is a reminder that every moment in yesterday was yesterday. Today is a new day. Most bad days will end, and there will be a tomorrow. Worrying about tomorrow just ruins today. If today is bad, just remember there is always (not guaranteed, but most of the time) a tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new start, and promise of a new day. 

So, if yesterday was bad, LEAVE IT THERE!  If today is bad, take solace and find peace that tomorrow is a new day. When tomorrow becomes today we can throw away the toils of worrying, put tomorrow in the past and live today. We can leave behind the stress anger and negativity of yesterday, and enjoy this moment. Relish in the sun on your face or the rain washing your spirit clean. Rain or shine there is something to be thankful for in today! Live today, that’s all that matters and it’s all you can control!

Happy Thanksgiving readers, I am thankful for you coming to read my thoughts inspiration and encouragement. Love yourself and love your family. Take nothing for granted. Even the shittiness in a given day, there is no good reason to toil about yesterday or tomorrow. Today is a gift, Be thankful.

Dance Rescues Life

27 Tuesday Sep 2016

Posted by in Be Present, Be You, Dance Like No One is Watching, Do Your Thing, Live in the Moment, Live life, Love, Marriage is hard

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​***writers note I started this yesterday, Monday edited and completed Tuesday**

What a great three day weekend (we played hookie today so we all had a three day weekend) To be honest, it was a rough start to our weekend. The Hubs and I had a long “Special Moment” (aka big fight) to start off Saturday then a loss for our PeeWee team made it just a bad day but then was recovered with great friends who are more like family Saturday night. Then it was Seahawks Sunday then we ran into more good friends after the game and then we met up at Great Wolf Lodge Monday with the kids and In-laws. However, I feel shafted because the power went out and we didn’t get that much time in the water park, and then home to a crazy mess of a house. Then, I realized the meat in the fridge that needed to be cooked or thrown away, only $130+ so I had to throw it on the Traeger to salvage it dinners are pre-prepped for the week …I guess. Then it was time for my Adult Modern Dance Class. I was tired and unmotivated, but I knew it would lift me up and rescue the day (not that it was bad, but I was tired). 

In Modern, We are working on improving and “feeling” the music without “holding back” or judging our moves. Take up the space, use the floor and dance from within….I SO NEEDED that!!!! I need that in my whole life. Dance overflows totally into life, Thanks Ms X! Dance once again rescued my day and actually without getting to in depth dance really has rescued my life more than once! And then today, flowers from the Hubs to seal the weekend. And better yet we go back to work/school for Tuesday, it won’t be a Monday! 

So, Love life! Embrace the positive, ditch the negative. Dance from within. I think dance is the only time in my life maybe the only time I allow myself to be uncensored (when I close my eyes, yes I dance improv with my eyes closed so I don’t judge myself). I am thankful for dance and a class to go to and a teacher who draws out my soul out to put it in my dance. I may one day find if it is ever possible, I may find the real me, with the help of dance probably on stage when I don’t even expect it! I love dance! Dance mimics life and I love dance, my life is a dance. I love my life!

#Dance2016

Put Energy In Things That Move You Closer To Your Goals

21 Sunday Aug 2016

Posted by in Be You, Business, Do Your Thing, Live in the Moment, Live life, Planning, Working Mom

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Stress-management-photoI really miss blogging everyday. I really hope to get back to it. However, I really want my blog to be quality. To be inspirational, educational, funny and have less typos. However, when I write many times I am distracted and have a lot going on. That’s what happens as a working mom. I lack good boundaries to set strict rules for myself and my family about when they can get my attention and when I put my attention into different things than just my blog. I have started a business and that has taken a lot more energy and effort and my time than I originally had planned for. I know it is going to be great but it needs a lot of energy and I have to make it a priority. I should make a priority to set a better schedule and get all of my tasks in. Sometimes, I just sit and do nothing or watch mindless TV shows to just relax. Everyone needs that, yes, everyone does!

I am working to help you my readers to be better at being present in your life. That is a goal I have to inspire you and encourage you and myself to be present. Whatever it is that you are trying to do do it big, do it well and do it with love! I am not the best example of how to do that, but I know you can do it. Do your best, love with all your heart. Have perspective and put your energy in the areas of your life that you want to flourish! A good place to start with that is to have a schedule, make lists, prioritize well and get help!

One big thing you need, this deserves it’s own paragraph is self awareness. Know what you want. Have a vision and be clear. Write it down if you need to. When you are feeling overwhelmed take a minute to step back and evaluate where you are and where you want to be. Are you on a path that is getting you closer to where you want to be or are you putting too much energy into things or places that don’t matter! Really be intentional in everything you do and you will get closer to where you want to go. Eliminate things that don’t help you get there. Those moments you say “yes” when you know you should say “no” take a minute and think, will this help me in the areas of my life I need to keep moving forward? Will this help accomplish my goals? If not then respectfully say “no”. There are sometimes we do have to sacrifice for our children or our spouse or family and do those things  but make it meaningful. If you cannot do it full out and with a good spirit say no anyway! Always do everything with your best energy and intention. You will be rewarded for that, in some way shape or form. I believe that to be so.

I will work on this as I muddle through this first month of owning my own business. I will work through getting myself organized, scheduling things in my life so I can not be buried in my business but also not make my business a charity and make money and pay myself with it. I will work on all of this. I will make lists, schedule groceries and cleaning. I already have put on my schedule my “business accounting/billing/office work” time for Tuesday mornings. Grocery shopping is after that and cleaning will need a time too. I will be working Monday and Friday evenings and probably Tuesdays as well, I haven’t got that nailed down as I have an onsite job that I do and I need to make sure that day is nailed down first. I will commit to continuing to write a Hump Day Challenge every week and I will try to include at least two more posts every week. So you should see at least three blog posts a week from me, sometimes more when I have a moment.

So there you have it. There is the start to my list and my commitment to you readers. I love this blog, I love writing. I love my family and husband and kids and my business. I have to give myself some realistic expectations of how to accomplish happiness and balance. Keep reading and feel free to comment and interact with me if you like. Continue to be positive and open minded and keep having sex as much as you can! Go forth and Sex, Love and Washing Clothes with me!

#Plan2016

Missing Dad HFD!

23 Thursday Jun 2016

Posted by in Dad, Family, Live in the Moment

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Every Father’s Day is hard to think about all the things I have not been able to share with my dad. I love watching my husband be a dad. Between his coaching duties and the time he spends playing and teaching our kids. He is just a good dad. He is a lot like my dad was. I enjoy seeing that. I just miss my Dad. He gave great Hugs! I really miss that!

So, I hope you all had a great Father’s Day! If you have a Dad whobgives good hugs take an extra for me please. Don’t wait until next Father’s Day to call him or spend time with him again!

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Happy Father’s Day!!

#Recommit2016 

Dad’s Birthday 2016

28 Saturday May 2016

Posted by in Be Present, Family, Live in the Moment

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Today is/was my dad’s birthday. He today would’ve been 76 years old. If you didn’t know my dad past away January 2000 from a brain tumor from Metastasized Lung Cancer. I miss my dad a lot. I’m sad for so many things I have done that he never got to see.

He did not get to see the Girl ever. She was so pretty when she was born. She is getting g ready to start Jr High in September. I have shed a few tears in the last few days after the last elementary assembly where she was awarded a Global Thinker and Caring award as well as a Presidential Award for Academic Excellence. How did she turn out so good? I am so proud. He never got to meet her or the Boy.

I know he would be proud and I know he was in a lot of pain from his illness when he died. However, I can’t help but be sad that I don’t have a Dad who can see what I have become and what my children have become and be proud and then he would tell me. I know, selfish.

I am going to do my best to not leave my family early, and do my best to take in every moment. I am never sad for passing moments and milestones with my kids, I am proud of them and I try to be there to take it a in. You can slow down or turn back time. You can only enjoy the moment while it is here. Right now, I am enjoying it all. Life is crazy and busy and sometimes turned upside down but I love every minute. Without passing of time you don’t have memories to sit back and be fond of. I love my family, I live my life. I am proud of my kids. As well as proud of my husband and and I for staying out of the way enough for them to have turned out pretty well!

I miss my dad, but I know everything about him even him dying when I was 21 has shaped me to be the person I am. I miss him I am sad my kids could never meet him, but I am happy I had him for 21 years and Thankful for him.

#Recomitt2016