Category Archives: Live life

Vacation for Me talk Health

18 Monday May 2020

Posted by in Connection, Do You, Don't judge me, Live in the Moment, Live life

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Happy Monday SLWC-ers! This post is coming to you from our rented Hertz Hendrick SS Camaro. The Hubs and I are road tripping to visit a friend today. We took our family on vacation to see their Grandparents and we have friends who live a few hours away. Everytime we come to the in-laws we always consider this road trip but have never done it. Since we’re all in quarantine and can’t do much anyway we figured this is the best trip to road trip it.

What I have noticed about this vacation so far is that I really needed it. It is no secret I have not been doing well with this whole quaratine thing! I am surrounded by people who I don’t feel really understand what I am lacking and why I am so off kilter. When you go from seeing and connecting with people everyday to only seeing your family it affects you, and for me it has been a negative affect. For some it has been super positive, they are living their best life and are dreading going back to “normal” that’s just not me. We are all trying to figure out how to manage I this new circumstance and in reality maybe they do understand and I don’t understand them? Or we don’t know how to communicate this right now. What I do know is that they love me and I love them and I am going to work to bridge this gap as I believe it exists in a lot of places I. Our world right now. The word is acceptance, of others and ourselves. As well as acceptance of not knowing or understanding and not being okay.

Moral of the story today is that I want to encourage you to live your best life. First, take a step back and figure out what you need. That is way easier said than done, but it is essential! I kind of needed this shut down in a way, I was burnt out and I needed a reset. I needed time to slow down and figure out what I needed. I need connection. For me I get connection from human contact and human touch. I kind of suck at text message or phone call relationships be it business or personal, it is hard for me to not see touch or feel a person’s presence. I need touch and eye contact. I feel whole with connection and that connection is not made without touch. I have seen friends and we do the nod, or wave and it pains me to not connect with a hug or hand shake. So I have learned I need touch.

Second, make sure the ones you love know what it is you need. If you need touch or eye contact, to hear their voice or be in the same place (6 feet apart of you have to) tell them! It took me over a month of the stay at home order to figure out why I was going so crazy. It hit me one day that I am so used to being so intimate and connected to people, even in the professional level of therapeutic massage, that my whole life relies on that. There have been multiple studies on this but if you work with inadamant objects like computers or refrigerators you may not understand half of what people who normal work with people are missing in life in the stay at home order. My point here in this paragraph started as tell those around about this so they understand where you are coming from.

Your people need to know that you know what you need. I want to tell you, it’s okay if it’s not what your partner or rest of your family needs and it makes communication even more important. I still struggle with this. I know I need human connection but how do I tell my family and how do I get that when we are in quaratine and social distancing orders? And when I say that and they look at me like I’m speaking Greek how do I explain more? The answer is, you don’t. Stop trying to justify yourself. So instead of explaining and justifying to those around you that you think don’t understand you, accept yourself. It’s okay if they do t understand,now they know what you need. Tell them what you need and leave it at that. I need human connection. I need hugs and hand shakes. I need face to face in person connection with people. I thrive at being the highlight of a person’s day, which is why I became a Massage Therapist. It feeds my sole to help someone get out of pain and be able to manage their life better with less pain. These are my why’s of doing my job. I have accepted that and it’s my job to be sure to make that happen in my life. That is part of me taking care of me. The tough part is for the last 8 weeks, I haven’t been able to do that.

Taking this vacation was so much needed for me. I needed to get out of my head where I was upset with myself for not feeling good enough for not being able to feel good. I have struggled, why isn’t this life good enough? Our family is blessed that The Hubs still has his job and we have been able to save money not going out that all our bills are paid and we have even put money away in savings during this time. We are blessed so many people are so much in a harder place. So why am I struggle so hard? Stop judging yourself! Human connection is a real need. I’m not getting as much as I was before and that’s the missing link. Taking this vacation I have been better able to stop judging myself and stop hating on myself. I’m not killing my side hustle sales business and the house is not spotless and I’m not a steller homeschooler, I don’t even know if my kids are really doing school some days. On vacation, here, I have been able to let that shit go! I have been able to look at my kids who are healthy and young who should be enjoying life as much as learning. They will never get this young age back again. They should be seeing their mom take care of herself in a way that she wants them to take care of themselves when they grow up. That’s my job right now. With this vacation I have been able to reset myself. Kind of hit the reboot for my brain. To look at what’s important and guess what ( sorry for saying this Hubs) chores being done, dinner on the perfectly set table, kids studiously learning and not fighting, everything in its place, is not really the most important. The most important thing is what’s going on in our heads. Do we love ourselves? Do we love what we have? Are we appreciating eachother? Are we taking care of what we need in our own lives? Are we allowing the ones around us to do the same? That is what is important!

So, forget the fucking dishes, go to bed early and fuck like bunnies. Teach the kids life lessons like how to change the oil in your car or change a tire when you can’t figure out how to help with math. Do something you all enjoy and enjoy each othermaybe take a walk.

Manage your me talk health. Exercise is the most underused medication for mental health. Mental health is just that how well are we mentally? Can we handle our emotions? Me talk health isn’t always being happy,it is handling life when we are sad or frustrated or not getting everything we want or need and knowing how to go about making it right. Talk about your feelings,good and bad they are all okay there are healthy ways to ha dle all of our emotions!

It’s the people that matter in life most of all the person who you are ultimately responsible is you. Make your self happy and you will see the world opens up! Take a vacation if you can it’s easier to see yourself.

#MentalHealth2020

Change is Coming

14 Sunday Jan 2018

Posted by in #GoHawks, Be Present, Family, Football, Live in the Moment, Live life, Planning, Seahawks

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Today we are sitting watching NFL football and reminiscing about our Football team, the Seahawks. It’s been a few years since we haven’t been at a playoff game or had a game to watch during the playoffs. It’s great to be a good team but it takes constant work and effort and dynamic adjustments on many levels. Football is the ultimate team sport. The team has to work together as whole in order to win games and even more work to stay on top.

Football is dynamic in the game and even in-between seasons. Our team, the Seahawks, have seen so many changes. We’ve seen a lot stay the same as well. But if things that are dynamic and things that are static don’t groove together, you struggle. That is what happened this season. This is also what happens over time with relationships and families as well.

So many things are static but yet so many things are dynamic in life. It’s great if your loving the things that don’t change but if you are one who wants to embrace the dynamics of change and live with one who does not it can cause difficulty and struggle. The key is balance in life and football. There will always be change and there will always be things that stay the same. You cannot always affect them, be it to change or keep them the way you want.

We must, in order to be happy, embrace it all. Look for the things you love in every situation. Savor the passing moment as you are not guaranteed to have it again as much as you wish or want to or even try to keep it you will never get it back. It’s always good to remember what works, but realize you may not be able to duplicate it and that is okay. Change is really the only constant in life and change is not constant.

Acceptance, love, appreciation for the good is what we need to focus regardless of it’s what we think we want or need. Search for the good focus on the good enhance the good and put in hard work to affect change in the way you want it to go. If you don’t get the results you want, change is coming so don’t let it get you down!

Here’s to a better you, a better family, and a better football season, in 2018. It will take to perseverance to sustain and faith to change what needs to change.

#GoHawks

#SLWC2018

23 Friday Dec 2016

Posted by in Friends, Live life

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I have had a rough few weeks. Last week I lost a friend, as a result of the circumstances that are fucked up. I know my friend was not ending our friendship because of anything that I did wrong but because it was what was the healthiest decision, probably for both of us. It is still sad to see a friend walk out of your life for no reason except the shitty things happening around you. Sometimes in lifewe have no control over the circumstances or things that happen to is we only have control over how we respond and live life after shiftiness happens. So for that reason my friend and I we had to say goodbye! At least for now. It was shitty. It still is shitty. Life is hard sometimes. Not every decision feels good and not every decision is a right and wrong some are deciding between shitty and more shitty, but as in this situation sometimes shitty is the healthy decision!

A Poem I memorized in Jr High school is in my brain from Langston Hughes 

“I loved my friend he went away from me. The poem ends soft as it began I loved my friend.”

I hope to one day reunite but for now we have to take care of ourselves. I promised my friend I would take care of me and I plan to keep the promise. It’s time to be positive and live life.

#Friends2016

Rise Above the Negative

21 Monday Nov 2016

Posted by in Be Present, Be You, Family, Live life, Marriage is work, Mom Stuff, Raising Kids, Self Care, Working Mom

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Hello friends! Last week was rough for me! I am rising above the negativity and coming out of those ashes! I know that we mom’s expect much more out of ourselves than we should. Many times, we expect even more from ourselves than our worst critic. Sadly, sometimes, that critic lives with us and is one that we love most and the one we don’t want to let down. Which is why we are so hard on ourselves. Little does that critic know he or she, his criticism, is what not only drives us and motivates us to do better but also and more likely is what drives us to fall into dark places, kills us on the inside and shakes our confidence. 

So this quick post is to say to you, rise above you mom or sister or whoever is hard on you, magnifying you minor faults, most of all rise above that voice in your head shouting out your major faults! It’s time to realize, we are all worthy of the crown we wear! Yes we all wear a crown! We are all queens of our own universe and we are our best ally! So stop cutting youself short, stop focusing on the negative don’t letting them in your head! Don’t believe everything you think! You are not that bad you are the queen

Try to find a way to shake off their words and negativity and find positive. Call your friend who supports you. Go chat with you brother or dad instead of your unapproving mother. Have girlfriend time (or guy time if your a dude reading this post). Distract yourself away from the negative. Whoever that critical family member is trying to help you be better. But you can’t hear that it’s best to get away to distract yourself away from the negative situation. Read mom blogs like this one to remind yourself that you are normal! We are all normal and we are all queens! Our crowns do t always have jewels sometimes the have gray hair or as a friend of mine states Sparkly hair and sometimes it’s a ponytail thrown up.in a baseball cap! Wear it proud. 

This critical loved one, they have a dark story and tjays where their negativity is coming from there. They probably need support and positivity in their life as well but you focus on you. They are not ready to focus on themselves maybe they don’t know how. Let them be. Share only love that is the only way to break the cycle, get yourself the loving support that you need and love your loved ones back. Break the cycle of negativity and Rise above!

You don’t have an alien living in your house, you doing just fine! You are the queen, keep it up! 

#Rise2016

Dance Rescues Life

27 Tuesday Sep 2016

Posted by in Be Present, Be You, Dance Like No One is Watching, Do Your Thing, Live in the Moment, Live life, Love, Marriage is hard

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​***writers note I started this yesterday, Monday edited and completed Tuesday**

What a great three day weekend (we played hookie today so we all had a three day weekend) To be honest, it was a rough start to our weekend. The Hubs and I had a long “Special Moment” (aka big fight) to start off Saturday then a loss for our PeeWee team made it just a bad day but then was recovered with great friends who are more like family Saturday night. Then it was Seahawks Sunday then we ran into more good friends after the game and then we met up at Great Wolf Lodge Monday with the kids and In-laws. However, I feel shafted because the power went out and we didn’t get that much time in the water park, and then home to a crazy mess of a house. Then, I realized the meat in the fridge that needed to be cooked or thrown away, only $130+ so I had to throw it on the Traeger to salvage it dinners are pre-prepped for the week …I guess. Then it was time for my Adult Modern Dance Class. I was tired and unmotivated, but I knew it would lift me up and rescue the day (not that it was bad, but I was tired). 

In Modern, We are working on improving and “feeling” the music without “holding back” or judging our moves. Take up the space, use the floor and dance from within….I SO NEEDED that!!!! I need that in my whole life. Dance overflows totally into life, Thanks Ms X! Dance once again rescued my day and actually without getting to in depth dance really has rescued my life more than once! And then today, flowers from the Hubs to seal the weekend. And better yet we go back to work/school for Tuesday, it won’t be a Monday! 

So, Love life! Embrace the positive, ditch the negative. Dance from within. I think dance is the only time in my life maybe the only time I allow myself to be uncensored (when I close my eyes, yes I dance improv with my eyes closed so I don’t judge myself). I am thankful for dance and a class to go to and a teacher who draws out my soul out to put it in my dance. I may one day find if it is ever possible, I may find the real me, with the help of dance probably on stage when I don’t even expect it! I love dance! Dance mimics life and I love dance, my life is a dance. I love my life!

#Dance2016

Put Energy In Things That Move You Closer To Your Goals

21 Sunday Aug 2016

Posted by in Be You, Business, Do Your Thing, Live in the Moment, Live life, Planning, Working Mom

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Stress-management-photoI really miss blogging everyday. I really hope to get back to it. However, I really want my blog to be quality. To be inspirational, educational, funny and have less typos. However, when I write many times I am distracted and have a lot going on. That’s what happens as a working mom. I lack good boundaries to set strict rules for myself and my family about when they can get my attention and when I put my attention into different things than just my blog. I have started a business and that has taken a lot more energy and effort and my time than I originally had planned for. I know it is going to be great but it needs a lot of energy and I have to make it a priority. I should make a priority to set a better schedule and get all of my tasks in. Sometimes, I just sit and do nothing or watch mindless TV shows to just relax. Everyone needs that, yes, everyone does!

I am working to help you my readers to be better at being present in your life. That is a goal I have to inspire you and encourage you and myself to be present. Whatever it is that you are trying to do do it big, do it well and do it with love! I am not the best example of how to do that, but I know you can do it. Do your best, love with all your heart. Have perspective and put your energy in the areas of your life that you want to flourish! A good place to start with that is to have a schedule, make lists, prioritize well and get help!

One big thing you need, this deserves it’s own paragraph is self awareness. Know what you want. Have a vision and be clear. Write it down if you need to. When you are feeling overwhelmed take a minute to step back and evaluate where you are and where you want to be. Are you on a path that is getting you closer to where you want to be or are you putting too much energy into things or places that don’t matter! Really be intentional in everything you do and you will get closer to where you want to go. Eliminate things that don’t help you get there. Those moments you say “yes” when you know you should say “no” take a minute and think, will this help me in the areas of my life I need to keep moving forward? Will this help accomplish my goals? If not then respectfully say “no”. There are sometimes we do have to sacrifice for our children or our spouse or family and do those things  but make it meaningful. If you cannot do it full out and with a good spirit say no anyway! Always do everything with your best energy and intention. You will be rewarded for that, in some way shape or form. I believe that to be so.

I will work on this as I muddle through this first month of owning my own business. I will work through getting myself organized, scheduling things in my life so I can not be buried in my business but also not make my business a charity and make money and pay myself with it. I will work on all of this. I will make lists, schedule groceries and cleaning. I already have put on my schedule my “business accounting/billing/office work” time for Tuesday mornings. Grocery shopping is after that and cleaning will need a time too. I will be working Monday and Friday evenings and probably Tuesdays as well, I haven’t got that nailed down as I have an onsite job that I do and I need to make sure that day is nailed down first. I will commit to continuing to write a Hump Day Challenge every week and I will try to include at least two more posts every week. So you should see at least three blog posts a week from me, sometimes more when I have a moment.

So there you have it. There is the start to my list and my commitment to you readers. I love this blog, I love writing. I love my family and husband and kids and my business. I have to give myself some realistic expectations of how to accomplish happiness and balance. Keep reading and feel free to comment and interact with me if you like. Continue to be positive and open minded and keep having sex as much as you can! Go forth and Sex, Love and Washing Clothes with me!

#Plan2016

Reminiscing

12 Sunday Jun 2016

Posted by in Be Present, Be You, Do You, Do Your Thing, Live life, Love

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The Girl danced in her 10th spring recital this weekend. The boy’s baseball team took 2nd in their tournament this weekend and at the end of this previous week we celebrated 16 years living in our home that we puchased and 18 years of the Hubs working in the elevator industry. But, we are the young couple who met in Washington State History class in high school.

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Life goes quick. It is too fast to not live it to the fullest and to short stay in a spot that you are unhappy! It is too short to worry what other people think! Not enough time to hold back and not try new things. Too short to follow certain rules that some older person set out for you! Stop worrying what other people think. If it feels good, do it. If it makes you smile, it’s okay. If you need that stimulation go ahead and get it. Do what makes you tick. Fuck them all who will judge you!

Do you. Be you. Love who you are. Know what you love. Do what you love. Do what makes you happy. If someone tells you THAT is wrong, fuck them too! Be happy, be content! Don’t put yourself down. Do your best always. If your best comes up short, honor your effort and keep trying!

No one can do you better than you!

#Recommit2016

Don’t Be Afraid

16 Monday May 2016

Posted by in Be You, Business, Do You, Don't judge me, Live in the Moment, Live life, Marriage is work, Mom Stuff, Raising Kids, Running, Schedule, Self Care, Take the time to take care of yourself, Volunteering, Working Mom

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I have gotten away from posting and/or writing everyday. I miss it! I want to write more but I am so busy, and other things get in the way. I want to take care of myself better too and the same things get in the way! It is my time! I am Ruby, I am a Mom, I am a Wife, I am a Massage Therapist and many other things. I am a woman who deserves the best from herself and I have not been giving myself the best. It is scary to leave what works and go to the unknown. I know I am better than this, I know I deserve better. I even think I know how to get it. But I am scared and as with every part of my life so far I sabotage and make excuses! STOP IT RUBY! JUST, STOP IT!

Don't be afraidI am a dreamer I believe we all deserve the best and we all are worthy but for some reason I accept less, always. Especially when it is me that is responsible for making it happen. It is so easy to stay in the now especially when things are good enough and maybe even better than most. I still sit here wanting the best, wanting more am I really capable? How can I do it? Will it really work? If not then what? Will I lose everything I have worked for so far? Probably not, but possibly. That is always possible. Am I making the best effort all the time? am I always doing my best? Am I always expecting the best or am I always accepting less? I am always accepting less, for me, I can sacrifice. As long as everyone else is happy. My best happiness does not always matter to me. I want everyone else to be happy I want them to have it easy, I will do the harder work to make you happy and hope that you will do the same for me…guess what, they don’t!

So here is my charge to myself, it is time to make the best decision for me. It is time for me to go be great! I know what I have to do. I almost know how to do it. I don’t know how I am going to but I am going to do it! I will be great. My life will be great and I will get what I deserve. I will not shy away from work to get there!

Do you need to do the same? Let’s support each other!

#DoYou2016

Turning Heads

07 Thursday Apr 2016

Posted by in Live life, Love

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Was sitting in my new car (Pearl) while the Hubs was pumping gas. This guy drove by staring I was getting concerned he was the second car to drive by slowly looking my direction. I was thinking WTF people?!

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Then I realized they were checking out my car! It was a pretty cool feeling to have the car that makes people turn and look. Not that it means anything but it makes me feel proud of myself and our family.

The Hubs and I have worked hard to be able to afford our life the way we want it and the way we live it. We were talking tonight about how we hope this resonates with the kids. That they will see that we work hard to have a comfortable life. We planned ahead, we saved and worked hard, we waited for the right time to buy this car. We have always lived within our means and can still put away for retirement. We have been and will continue to plan well enough to be financially secure. That’s one reason we took so long to purchase this car and why we don’t live in a giant house on the lake, yet, and why our kids don’t get the newest coolest toys every time they ask and why we don’t buy swag everywhere we go when we go to events and such.

One day we will get that house on the lake but we will do it right. We will be patient and not over extend our selves. It is fun to have nice things that make people turn their heads but it is more fun to be able to enjoy the life you have. Love the life you live and live the life you love. It takes time and planning and skill to get to the place we are at, it doesn’t happen by accident and it is accessible to everyone. It just takes work!

Put in the work!

#Recommit2016

Not So Perfect Lake House

26 Saturday Mar 2016

Posted by in Family, Live life

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So today we went to look at the lake house I’ve been day dreaming about. I absolutely loved the house especially the kitchen was AMAZING! I really like it. However, it not our dream home. The Hubs is very particular and like specific things done specific ways. The house had Vinyl siding which was a draw back for him. There were also a few others, the garage door was only a 10 foot door, the end of the lake that the house is on has Lilly pads so you couldn’t even get a boat to your dock with out having to flush the engine a lot or risk getting weeds in your prop.

All in all I am glad we went to see it. I am sad it was not perfect for us. I am glad that we now know and I can stop daydreaming (yeah right) about where the kids will go to school next year and having a lake party this summer! It also gives us a chance to get our house in order. We really need to do some stuff to our house. We have our bathroom to finish, some issues with the exterior of the front of the house by the chimney out front.

Looking at a new house helps you realize the things you have that you like and the things you can do differently at your house. The Hubs and I sat on the front step of our house today trying to decide what to do with our yard. We have some curb appeal type upgrades to do. We are waiting to meet with our friend about the bathroom and then the chimney and front of the house project.  Then maybe refinance if there is not another lake house that catches our eye. Or should I say “My” eye.

We will stay content for now in our happy first home! Until we find a “perfect” reason to up and move or are really ready to go somewhere else! This way we can enjoy our date nights and dinners out. I can hire a house cleaner and not feel scared that it too much money to spend. Here’s to living life and not wishing it away! Love the life you live.

#Recommit2016