Happy Monday, wait, it’s Tuesday! Happy Tuesday! This was Labor Day Weekend. Did you get in some end of summer R&R? Or were you uber productive and finished cleaning out the closets before the kids go back to school? We had a very chill weekend. The kids went to Gma’s one last time before they leave for AZ for a few weeks and the Hubs and I just relaxed. He had worked Thursday night all night. He went back to work Thursday evening at 10pm and then came home at 11:45 Friday morning. We had originally planned to go away one last weekend camping at the ocean but being up all night working has a way of altering those kind of weekend plans.
So instead, Gma and Gpa came to get the kids so they could “steal” them for the weekend. I was quite thankful because I needed an adult only weekend kind of a break. Gma and Gpa picked up the kids around 11am then the Hubs and I went back to bed when they left. We slept, fucked, watched football, fucked some more, then got out of bed had dinner and did it all again. We met up with friends we haven’t seen in a while Sunday evening and then Monday we went shooting.
We had a very productive weekend. Not in a sense of getting things accomplished but we made some really good connection, with each other. No doors to lock, didn’t have to be quiet and didn’t have to be anywhere! It was a relaxing chill weekend. No washing clothes, no schedule, no demands except the way we felt about each other. We had lots of sex this weekend. I did get a few ideas for Hump Day Challenges but do you think I wrote them down or remember my ideas at all? Not currently, I will get better at writing things down one day! We had a great reboot this weekend.
The Hubs and I really needed a reboot kind of weekend. Not really because things have been bad (although it has not been smooth sailing) but because we are busy. It’s hard to stay connected when you are going in so many different directions and have schedules and other people that take priority just because of the demands of the schedule of life. When this happens we all need to get grounded and focus on priorities and give each other a little grace. The Hubs and I talked this morning about not letting the busy-ness and demands of kids, school, work, jobs, coaching duties get in the way of knowing that we love each other and staying connected. We all get tired but we all need to take the time to nourish our relationships.
One day there will be no kids to take to practice and work will slow down and we may even retire, we need to make sure that we still know and love our partner, when life slows down, that’s when life will get really good. I am not saying mine is a model relationship, we have our problems and struggles. We still have more good than bad and nurturing our relationship is important to us. We do that by taking weekends like this one. I would love to do it once a month but that is just not realistic, but when I start to see and feel that lack of connection, arguing over washing clothes and just that bluh feeling about my relationship that is the time to look at the calendar, contact one of the Grandparents or some really great friends to take the kids so we can have adult time. Sometimes we go away and sometimes we send the kids with Gma but we get alone time!
We also take a date night, every week. Right now we are on Tuesday, it is our weeknight date night. We usually also do get in a Weekend date night as well. I know there are many people who judge us and how much we go out and take date nights and weekends sans kids. But, I really think it is important for every marriage or partnership to have that time. When the kids are grown and gone we need to still know and love the one we met and had those said kids with.
It is important to take the time to nourish the relationship with your lover and almost as important to teach your children how to do that. Children see us fighting, I know studies show we shouldn’t fight around our kids, we try not to, but let’s be honest they see it, they need to see us make up and they need to see us loving each other as well. It is important to take care of ourselves individually as well. I want to inspire you to take the time to take care of your relationship with your lover. One of the easiest ways to do that is to have more sex! If you can’t get away or have no one to take care of the kids, lock your bedroom door turn up some music and enjoy the naked physical love of your partner. I promise it is well worth it even when you are tired!
Go make connection with your mate, have more sex! Of course being nice, helping each other cook and clean and keep up with the tedious tasks of a busy life helps too, but there is nothing like having a great relationship with you spouse and having great sex with them as well!
#Havesex2016
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young you have a lot of life in front of you.” I hate all of that advice. I am not as strong as those people think I am. Those people mostly have been divorced or never married or are single. Some are more happy than they were in their first marriage too… But, I can’t do it. I want my marriage to work I want to be happy. I don’t know if either is possible but I can’t not try. I start counseling again on Monday. I (we) have decided to work this relationship. I will John Gottman the shit out of this and make it work if it kills me…and it might. I also know I need to stop sulking and live my life and watch what I eat. I have eaten my feelings to the tone of 8.7 pounds since this started.
