Category Archives: Parenting

This Growing up Thing is Hard on Me

05 Wednesday Jul 2017

Posted by in Be Present, Be You, Dance, Dance Like No One is Watching, Do You, Live in the Moment, Parenting

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Well, it has been a while since I have written. I can’t even remember when…to my loyal readers apologies. Today I am writing from Nationals. The Girl is competing in a Nationals Dance Competition. She is in 5 group numbers and a solo. Have I said how much I love to watch her dance? If you have read my blog you have read that a few times! This year the Girl turned 13, she is starting to become her own person. Not that she hasn’t always been her own person but she is just starting to grow up. She definitely wants her own identity. It used to be cute that everyone loved her mom and loved her mom being around but now it’s just not. Not to her anyway. The older dancers are still super sweet to me and seem to understand my pain when I am shunned by my daughter but the Girl just wants to grow her wings. I need to get out of her way and let her make a name for her.

This dance year I have decided it is my job to support her. Many things I hear my Coach Husband say is that parents just need to get out of their kids way. I need to learn that lesson it has been my mom work this year. There is a dance instructor for Liz Imperio who teaches a class called Raising Successful Children that I started but got too busy to finish the webinar (which has been a theme in my life this year) and it’s focus was to guide us parents in how to get out of our children’s way. I love watching her grow, I love watching her dance! There is a part of me that is struggling letting go of that mommy role that needs to be there to protect and guide my child. She is growing up I have taught her to think for herself and stand up for what is right and to advocate for herself. She doesn’t need me to do that because I taught her to be strong in herself! I taught her to not define herself in what other people think of her. And she does not. She changes for no one. She is who she is, she likes what she likes and for the most part doesn’t care or waiver for anything. Not even for me! Sometimes I wish she would for me but I should be proud that she doesn’t. Sometimes she does waiver to fit in with her friends. I feel for her in those moments because I have spent my life doing that and that is not what I want for her! I want her to be her, even if it hurts my feelings.

How did I teach her to do that when I am not strong in myself? How can I be that strong human I am teaching her to be when I am not that strong human myself? I am proud that she is independent. I love who she is. Sometimes I wish there was less Diva but other times I am so proud of that diva because that Dive protects her when mean girls are mean. And that Diva protects the girl who is getting picked on in a group by my child being the one to stand up to the mean one in the place of the child who is getting picked on or feeling bad when that child is too weak. I am proud of that diva! I pray that when I stifle the diva for my feelings that I don’t stifle the good out of her diva! How was I able to teach her these things? I have no idea how, but I am proud she has learned them!

I am going through yet another identity crisis in parenting, and I don’t even know what it is. I am obviously still her mom and she needs me and I know deep down she wants me around, but she wants me to keep my distance and not over shadow who she is or what she does. I get it! I was there, I may still be there with my mom. When she needs me I will be there. I have seen this happen recently. She does talk to me like a friend sometimes and I to her but she also knows that she must do what she is told and what is expected of her. I don’t really believe in being your child’s best friend until they are adults anyway but sometimes she is mine. She is the only one who can’t leave me and would never think of it, I think… Anyway, I want her to continue to grow in success and keep that diva spunk that will take her far and I just have to get over myself!

Now I have to go watch her solo I am so excited to see her dance! I love watching her on stage and in her element. It is her happy place I am so glad she has dance for that, lord knows she needs a place of her own to just BE. I love her!

#Dance2017dance parent

To drug or not to drug….

11 Sunday Jun 2017

Posted by in Be You, Do You, Don't judge me, Kids, Live in the Moment, Mom Stuff, Parenting, Working Mom

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This video (click to view link) hits home for me! So much shame in my life not as a child but as an adult, I was diagnosed as an adult with ADD! I  feel, I made it through as a child because I am a people pleaser so being a good student and approval from teachers when I did well is what drove me and made me succeed. Thank goodness I am pretty smart and Thank goodness I had great teachers and parents who gave me that approval!!

ADDSince being diagnosed, I have not found a medication that works for me. I kind of have something against taking medication. I don’t really know what, but I just don’t want to admit to myself and everyone else that I have to take medication to be normal! I also think I don’t want to admit there is a normal and that I’m not normal! I kind of hate that word “normal” it is what most “normal” people think is normal and if you have ADD, it is not “normal” for your brain to function as a “normal” person’s brain functions. Your brain does not decipher a hierarchy of things that are important or stay focused on the task at hand or manage time well. A person with ADD has to remind their mind what the task at hand is. We, ADD folks are great at living in the moment! I am a great forgiver! I forgive a lot of times when I probably shouldn’t. I think of something that would be a great idea and I jump on it! If I have time (or if I perceive I have time or if it is really important or interesting or something that I perceive as pressing) I get on it right away, I don’t want to forget about it. Forgetfulness is a big part of ADD. A lot of people see it as a kid who can’t sit still or walk, they always run….it is so much more than that! Do I want my brain to function like “normal”? Won’t that change me? As much as I “hate” myself and they way my brain works, I don’t want “me” to change. See my dilemma?…

I have self medicated with food and sometimes alcohol and thank goodness I have stayed away from illegal drugs, credit to the DARE program for that! But taking the stigma off of “drugs” proven to help ADHD’ers would definitely change my world of shame… So much shame in my life. My son is just like me, forgetful, figgidity, and impulsive….. Not driven as much by people pleasing but then again his dad and I are tough on him so he doesn’t get the praise as much as I did, and he is just like his dad, he is confident almost a little arrogant. He is more solid in what he likes and who he is. It’s not as important to him to impress people the way it was (and still is) to me. I worry about my son turning into me or worse than me. I have a husband who keeps me straight. He pays the bills, I would struggle remembering those things. Will my son be able to do those things that are important. Will my son remember to turn in his homework?… does he need medication? Do I? Will it help? How can I tell? I should get my shit together first before diagnosing or assuming anything about him. ADD is genetic as much as the color of your eyes, of course one of the kids has it but what to do???

So many questions all I know is that, this video hit home. Lot’s of things in my life right now are up in the air and there are a lot of questions in my not so distant future. Lot’s of decisions that can alter my life’s direction. ADD is a big deal to me, it is a big frustration in our lives. Actually our lives are complicated, every parents life is complicated, ADD makes it more difficult. Medication is not for everyone, acceptance is. I have neither for myself and here I am without a mom to drive me to a psychologist like the girl in the video I am an adult now trying to navigate and wanting so badly a mommy to tell me what the right direction is and take me there! I was not diagnosed as having ADD as a 6 year old but right now I feel like it has reduced me to a 6 year old, in that I don’t know what to do, and I can’t function but please don’t treat me like a child!!!

If this is a little disjointed, think of it as a taste of how an ADD brain works…very disjointed distracted and impulsive…..lacking direction sometimes…..wanting so badly to get noticed and get my point across and be understood but lacking the brain function and organization to do so…. and add to that, trying to do it in a short amount of time because of course I didn’t give myself enough time, it was an impulsive moment that I had something to say!

#ADDbrain

Plan Focus Give Grace

26 Sunday Feb 2017

Posted by in Be Present, Cleaning, Connection, Family, Friends, Homemaker, Live in the Moment, Marriage is work, Organization, Parenting, Planning, Raising Kids, Schedule, Working Mom

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Hello Readers,

I have to confess, I have had a rough go lately. The Hubs and I have been struggling. It’s hard for me to write encouraging posts when I don’t feel so positive it is hard for me to write positive without feeling like a fake. So, with that said, I am feeling more positive, I know that I may be having some sort of depression or anxiety and need to pay attention and not get lost in it. I am going to be going back to counseling on my own and I will be checking in with my GP about some tummy issues I’ve been having, to keep my health a priority and take care of me. As a person, as a mom, as a wife and a health care provider it is hard to serve in your roll if you feel down and ineffective. Like they say it is impossible to serve from an empty vessel.

empty-vesselIn my life in the last week I have had some clarity of mind to realize I need to focus on me. Not in a selfish way where you are “more important” than your family, that you are charged with taking care of, but in a way to be the healthiest you so your family can have a healthy mom, healthy wife and your clients can have a healthy provider coming from a place of love and caring. I have been so bogged down with stress in life that I am complaining a lot, offended easily and my brain gets flooded and I get angry easily. So much so that I don’t really recognize myself and then when the hubs and I get into “special moments” I feel like I turn into some monster that is not me! Then it spirals out of control! So I am taking control of me. Part of that is me getting back into blogging here. I want to encourage people who are or have been in my spot. Also it helps me to get my feelings out and helps me to help guide myself in a positive way, not just my readers. Plus entertaining readers with my Hump Day Challenges is a passion of mine that I have missed the last few weeks.

Another part is getting back to my life. I have been working a lot and losing site of what really matters. My work matters but there is a balance that needs to be heeded. A balance of working in my business (doing massage) as well as working on my business (admin stuff like billing and marketing). I love networking for marketing and I have a lot of friends that I network with but that networking time needs to be just that and sometimes the balance of networking and socializing line blurs and loses potency.

So to deter the blurred lines of friend time and networking time I plan to be more active in my life with friends. We all struggle balance with work and fun but it is important to stay in touch with your “people”. You know, the ones who can figure out your drunk text typos and actually answer or support you in those moments! So one part of this gaining balance and getting back to me is scheduling girlfriend time as well as date nights and family nights! All three is important as important as work time.

Another part is planning house work time. This is harder for me because really, who wants to do the bull shit tasks of cooking, cleaning and grocery shopping? Especially after work and taxiing around the kids after a full day of work? But if you ignore it or don’t plan it you end up with those “special moments” with the Hubs that no one really wants! So this next sentence is very important, You must plan with your family! Everyone in the family has a responsibility  for how the house runs! The Hubs and I have had some conversations on this and although we haven’t really planned it all out, we have made huge gains in this area. The Hubs has started helping with dishes and putting laundry away. There is much to be said about a person who actually steps up to handle the things that they hate not being done versus just complaining about it! So: MAKE A FAMILY PLAN ABOUT HOW YOUR HOUSE WILL BE RAN AND EVERYONE CONTRIBUTE! Talk about it and follow through.

So to sum up this long post:

  1. Take care of you if that means going to the doctor, counselor, journaling, exercising, What ever it is, make time!! My plan get back to counseling, exercise everyday (at least cardio), get to doctor about tummy issues, have grace with myself when I am overwhelmed!
  2. Schedule and stick to it you work and admin time in your business! My plan just get it admin and massage time on the books and don’t waiver regardless of the client and their schedule, make my schedule and family time as important as theirs. Balance!
  3. Schedule Date nights, family nights and time with “your people” My plan: Schedule girlfriend time once a month, Date nights weekly and actually go, Family nights or outings weekly
  4. Schedule House work and responsibilities! Everyone has a responsibility to participate it is not all on mom regardless if mom is a working mom stay at home. We need to teach our kids they have to contribute as well as the husbands. Talk about it and make a plan! My Plan: schedule family menu planning meetings, utilize Clicklist with preplanned menus. Give kids chores and follow through with them to do it on schedule before practices and dance.
  5. GIVE GRACE! Let everyone have a little grace with heavy stress load times of homework, busy work days and heavily scheduled tournaments or competitions. Everyone is trying hard to motivate through life! We all want what’s best for our family and ourselves and sometimes we need to take a nap instead of vacuum! As long as we are all doing our best when our family needs help lets lend a helping hand they will do the same for you when you need! Help each other out to get to the goal and enjoy the good moments like the tournament wins and realize sometimes those things come when the house is messy, but when those moments are over and we have down time we can catch up when we need to! As long as there is not mold growing on the dishes and the house isn’t burning down and there is a dance to watch or a game going on…take it in! Enjoy these busy crazy moments building a lives, growing children into adults, growing a business and creating a life! Make it happy!!!

Live the life you’ve imagined because remember in your dreams you saw the results not the work that it takes to get there! FOCUS on what is important. Family, friends, lives, and moments are important! Money and dishes and laundry will go away savor moments with your people!!!

#Live2017

 

Moving On Up

17 Friday Jun 2016

Posted by in Be Present, Family, Kids, Mom Stuff, Parenting, Raising Kids, Volunteering, Working Mom

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Well, this week has been an emotional week! It was the last week of school. The Girl finished her 6th grade year. Here, 6th grade is the mast year of elementary school. Next year they are shifting to a middle school system so I will be doing the whole move up process next year with the boy. I am not sad but I have ahead tears this week. I am happy for her she has done an amazing job so far in school, socially and academically. She has made it through a bad teachers friends and acquaintances being mean and rude to her, tough standardized testing, dance in the side increasing requirements leaving less time for free time and homework but has finished receiving a Presidential Award and straight As!

I have been super involved moat her school career. I was a stay at home mom for a lot of it and got to volunteer in the classroom so much that the teachers always gave me the “tough kids” in field trip groups because they k e w they could trust me and I could handle it. Some even left me in charge of their classrooms when they had to get stuff done. I have created a very close relationship with the copy machine for the teachers math assignments, one year I got to teach Art once a week because the teacher was so not artistic and they want art, I have read essays and helped correct math assignments. Also I got to read with so many when they were younger in a program called Dynamite Reading. When I was helping in Kindergarten I had to learn how to decipher the writing g that looked similar to a foreign language to figure out who’s paper was who. Now they are all moving up to Jr High. So much change and growth.

Luckily the Girl ended up with some very special friends and they are really graet kids. Low drama, loyal, loving and responsible kids they all are. I hope they stay that way! I hope the Girl continues to find friends like she has now.

I plan to sit down with her this summer and prepare her brain for all things Jr High. All things my mother never did for me. Talk about periods, boys, friend drama, the fact that teenage girls are the meanest thing in the planet and that teenage boys are the horniest and all they probably want is sex…(nit that that ever changes). I want her to be prepared for what is going to happen. I want her to be prepared to come to me as I will always be her friend and confidant when she needs one even when her BFF is unavailable and even though I make her do chores and hold her accountable.i want her to know I am there for her. But that won’t mean that I won’t expect her to be responsible and make good choices. I just want the communication lines open. I am still her parents I will protect her and parent her. Too many parents try to hard to be friends with their kids. I will be there like a friend but she will still get grounded for not doing homework!

This is a big step for our family. I am a very proud momma today. The boy will be in 5th grade next year and will be the first 5th grade class to move up to the Jr High. I can’t believe how fast this time has gone. I know I have a lot to learn as a parent but I would say I am doing pretty good. Both the Girl and the Boy are good kids and I feel like I know what I’m doing. OH SHIT, what did I just say?! Shit is about to hit the fan. Everytime I think I know what I’m doing something changes and throws a hitch in my plan and flow. But oh well, I will be on my toes and I will be ready! The only thing I would change is to take more of it in and not worry so much. So from here in our I am going to try to do just that. Take it all in, it won’t last forever! Teaching moments will happen. I just hope we can get through the rest of these parenting years without ruining our children’s spirit!

I just want them to be happy!
Class of 2022 and 2024!!

#2016

TGIF!!!!

27 Saturday Feb 2016

Posted by in Be Present, Do Your Thing, Everyday, Family, Live in the Moment, Massage Therapy, Mom Stuff, Parenting, Raising Kids, Working Mom, wrestling

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Today is Friday! I had 18 massage appointments this week plus 2 Wrestling matches, a PeeWee football equipment meeting and a baseball team mom meeting and Dentist appointments for the kids, oh and had my Dance class (but only made one class this week) I also hand washed my car and fed my family everyday and only had Pizza once! It has been a crazy busy week! The girl hurt her knee at dance and I keep forgetting to call the orthopedic Dr about it! I do t thinknitnisnmore that bad but of it is I am going to feel so bad for ignoring it!

Bottom line is I am tired today. I had a headache from last night until today at 2 or so I finally gave in and took Alieve. I tried my EOs, got an adjustment and drank water and nothing helped. I think it may have been my body telling me I was tired and doing a lot more than normal this week. But this is what “normal” is going to be soon (or right now obviously). I am striving for 20 massages a week which is considered a full time schedule for an LMP. Our family is busy and we are involved parents! I am going to have to hire a house cleaner (and maybe even a house nanny to/do laundry and cook dinner do they have those?) I am busy but honestly the house is not too disastrous surprisingly enough!Especially considering I am the only one who does laundry and dishes unless my mom babysits early enough that she is not too tired to fold laundry ( I love that about her) this week she had time to fold my clothes when we were on Date Night!

I really am enjoying my job and my life lately. I feel good about myself. Work is going well the kids are doing awesome (The Girl just got two awards today at school and The Boy took two reading tests to meet his monthly reading goal!) Blogging is going well-ish too! I am writing this one in bed while the Hubs snores next to me. We are sexing inthe morning because tongiht as we went to bed I was working on his knee and started rubbing his back too and he got that sleepy look so I asked him and he said yes let’s do that, the alarm is set for early, it’s Wrestling End of Season Tournament Day! But we are going to get up even earlier do “It” (lol I said “do It”)

Things are going well in the Earl household here! Loving life enjoying family and making it all work! Good night folks!

#Recommit2016

Don’t Get Mad, Get Focused

14 Thursday Jan 2016

Posted by in Kids, Love, Mom Stuff, Parenting, Raising Kids

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Today was the third wrestling match of the the year. The boy has had some tough competition this year. When he got down in his first match, he kind of gave up a little. He has asked me to not yell too loud or too much because it distracts him. That is tough for me. It’s tough to be quiet. I did it but when I saw him getting down and “giving up” I let loose and was loud. Still I was positive but with the don’t give up tone. He wrestles and when he can’t figure out what to do to get out of something or if the kid sets him off he gets mad and emotional. I keep saying, “Don’t get mad, get focused” but sometimes I am not sure he knows or is capable of understanding what I am saying or even how to do that!

We wrestle in a league and the teams and wrestlers kind of stay the same so he has been wrestling some of these kids for 5 years. They all grow and get bigger but for the most part they all stay the similar sizes in relation to each other. There are some kids in his weight group that have gotten stronger, faster, and better. The boy has as well and all the kids his size have. Some have gotten extremely better! Today he had a good night. He only wrestled two kids and one kid forfeited after about 30 seconds in the first round. This kid (the other boy) does that a lot when The Boy (my boy) starts to dominate him. That boy, (the other boy), does not like to lose or get beat and The Boy , my boy, gets him most times. The two have wrestled a lot The Boy (my boy) is probably up 50-75% of the time. Although same kid beat The Boy (my boy) in last week’s match. At this age (10) it is hard to handle so much emotions. It is hard to learn how to wrestle a kid and get beat by him and not get mad at him. When do they learn the ‘friendly competition’ idea? Anyway it is always fun to watch, he is learning and growing?

Mother sonYesterday was the boys birthday. He is now 10! He was a fast labor. I had felt some minor contractions all day but didn’t think it was anything. Then my water broke and he came out in less than 30 minutes. The Boy is pretty chill until he needs something and he needs it right now! Just like the way he came into this world! He is a strong character. He has a strong personality and he is very emotional. When he is frustrated you know it. When he is happy or excited there is no mistaking that either! Which makes it so much more fun to spend time with this kid.

I am proud to be his mom. I hope I can teach him how to focus a little more and use his emotions to help him and not distract him. That is the one thing I want to help him with this year! So that when he is 11 I can say to him “Don’t get mad, Get Focused” and he would actually know how to do just that! That is my mom goal for The Boy this year.

#Everyday2016

 

The Sex Talk

18 Friday Dec 2015

Posted by in Parenting, Raising Kids, Uncategorized

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So this week in school The Girl has been doing the “growth and human development” lessons, aka sex ed type stuff. Everyday this week she has come home grossed out. The other day she was telling me that they learned about “sperms” and that was gross. She even mentioned fore skin in the things they had talked about that kind of confused her. Then she asked about how to having a period and that she needed to have an emergency pad kit in her back pack. As we talked, I became more and more confident that I can answer all of her questions. I am pretty much and expert at being a woman and I can empower The Girl to be a confident woman too.

I want her to have all this information and to know that she can talk to me about things and I will talk to her without making it weird. My mom never made me feel that way. She was uncomfortable with everything (I think she still is). I hid my period from my mom for months before I told her. I just couldn’t figure out what to say or how to tell her. I started shaving my legs in 7th grade as well and hid that from her. We talked about when I started. I told her how I had irregular periods growing up so if she has the same issues she can tell me. birdsandbeesNow she knows what to expect and what not to expect. She is as the Hubs said “empowered” as am I.  This is one thing I feel confident about and that is a new feeling for me.

Today in class  she told me they talked about babies.  I asked if they taught her how the egg gets fertilized and what makes babies. She said yes but she didn’t want to say “the word”. I asked her if she meant the word “sex”, she said “yes, that’s an adult word” and refused to use it. She was not short on the use of the word “gross”.  Then I asked if they had taught her about STDs or Birth Control. She said no. Which kind of surprised me. If you are teaching children what sex is, and what makes babies, wouldn’t you at least mention that there is a such thing as birth control and STDs? I briefly explain what condoms are and that they go on the penis to prevent the “sperm” from entering the woman’s body. I also briefly explained that Birth Control is fairly new in the history of people and sex and that it makes the uterus inhabitable for pregnancy. I said there were many forms of birth control and I also included the fact that I was taking birth control when I got pregnant with The Boy.

I felt very satisfied with myself. I pretty much killed it in this talk. She is informed, she knows I will be there to talk to her and her friends if they ever have questions. I hope that I will be that mom that she can confide in and that her friends who can’t talk to their parents can come talk to me. Having a blog about sex this year may have helped me feel more confident about saying certain words and talking about it, but more than anything I think just being a woman was the biggest thing. Also knowing what it felt like to have questions and be to afraid to ask what it was as a girl. I don’t want my girl to be afraid of what is going on in her body. I don’t want her to be scared if she needs to tell me that she is having her period for 2 weeks and going through a super absorbency pad every hour because those things need to be addressed and girls need to not feel ashamed of themselves when their body is changing. I was that scared embarrassed girl. I will empower my daughter to take care of herself and be informed. She deserves to know what to expect and how to handle this part of life before she is thrown into the fire. I am ready for the open lines of communication and she is too. Another stage of her life she just keeps growing and moving through life! Holy crap when did this happen?

#Everyday2015

Get The Help You Need to Manage Your Stress

13 Sunday Dec 2015

Posted by in Bartending, Cleaning, Do You, Massage Therapy, Parenting, Planning, Self Care, Working Mom

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Stress build up until you diffuse it or it boils over or explodes like a volcano. I have been stressed a lot lately and today it kind of exploded! This year was supposed to be about mastering the Stay At Home Mom Role and modeling and inspiring other stay at home moms! It turned into going back to work to help our the family financially as we decide to buy a new car.

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I over did it with the job thing! I took on a job doing massage back at the Chiropractic Clinic I worked at before. Then a few weeks later I took on a job bartending since my massage work days were on slow days at the office. Then my massage job picked up and then slowed down and now picked up again. With school, kids activities, and Homemaker work I just can’t handle both jobs! I don’t know what to do. What’s going to happen when the massage job has a slow time? If I am busy and work a full massage schedule, there is absolutely no reason for me to need to work more. However, if my schedule slows then I would need to supplement my income. I really enjoy both jobs and have fun doing them both but I cannot be emotionally where I want to be for my family! I am stressed and overwhelmed and just not myself.

If I quit working at the bar will that change enough to make it so I can be the mom and wife I want to be? I do feel like I am getting in a routine with my massage schedule and am feeling good about where that puts us financially. I am also feeling deflated at the bar job and thinking it might not be for me. I do love my bar job but recently some changes that have happened has affected the amount of tips I make as well as my work environment. I am glad to not have to work weekends any longer, but I miss my family when they are all home. I work two nights a week Tuesday 6p-2am and Friday 4p-9pm. I miss being there for the dinner and sports and seeing my husband when he gets off work. I am thinking of putting in notice this week. I can work through the holidays and then beginning January only doing massage. Maybe I will stay on for just a late night Friday and/or a special event person occasionally.

I just don’t know what to do! Why can’t life be easy?! Maybe I need to find a working mom blogger who gives advice about this. I obviously am struggling being an inspiring working mom to other moms!

Best I can say today is go with your gut. Problem for me is I don’t ever know what really is my gut saying. So do what feels right. What is the most important thing to you! Let your life show that! If your kids are important but you are not doing what’s best for them then your priorities are out of order.

So for me my priority is my family, my husband, and self care. Currently working two jobs, that is not what my life is exemplifying! We have survived with just my husband’s income we could again if we needed to! But we are taking our kids on an epic vacation for Christmas and we did repairs to our car with out going into debt and we have been slowly picking away at the HELOC and Credit card bills. Soon we will have enough money to finally finish our bathroom and all of that while not stressing about paying all the bills. I am happy to have contributed financially to the family for that, but my stress level is boiling up to the top and I have got to get a handle on it.

I probably need to ask the Hubs and kinds for more help around the house but I also need to get organized and feel I can’t ask for help without having my shit in order! Which is untrue! You can ask those that live in your house and eat the food you prepare and wear the clothes you launder to help you, with all chores around the house! No reason to feel bad!!!!! Get the help you need and learn to manage your stress. Don’t over schedule yourself! Love yourself and give yourself grace!!!

#Everyday2015

Parenting Win and Losses

05 Thursday Nov 2015

Posted by in Love, Love Your Kids, Marriage is hard, Parenting

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Parenting win and loss just happened tonight. Let’s start with the win. We were watching the Thursday Night Football game and Stark, a Brown’s player laid a pretty hard hit on a Bengal’s player. One of those text book hits that makes you jump and say “Wow, nice hit!” then he got up and stood over the Bengal’s player and said something (taunting). The Girl says “Isn’t that taunting” just as I am starting to try to explain not all refs call everything, you hear the ref over the mic “Personal Foul” Wow, she was paying attention, way to call it, Girl! My husband and I looked at each other with that “Wow, that was cool. Yes, that’s our daughter watching football calling plays” then I responded with “I say that is a parenting win!” Especially after the conversation that started our evening.

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The parenting loss that started our evening actually started with a call from the Boy’s teacher earlier today. It was about how The Boy got caught messing around in the bathroom with a group of boys as school was starting they were supposed to be getting ready for the day. Nothing major just 4th Grade boy stuff. The boys were told to fill out a reflection paper, take it home and have your parents sign it and then return it to the teacher so the teacher. Well, The Boy forgot to have us sign it. We went out on date night last night so some how the kids decided it was a good idea for the girl to sign it for me. I don’t really know what they were thinking. I do not think they thought the were being super malicious just trying to get it taken care of. I tried to explain to the kids that signing someone else’s name was a major deal. I also tried to explain it was lying and they know that is bad. I want my kids to learn to be responsible and take ownership of their mistakes and what The Boy wrote was not doing so.

In his reflection sheet, his 3 reasons for doing what he did (talking too long in the bathroom and not getting to class on time) was 1 They were talking 2. I played Madden yesterday and 3. I made an awesome catch in Madden yesterday. So he got caught up in the conversation because they were talking about Madden and he wanted to share with the other boys that he made an awesome catch…. Reasonable right? For a 4th grade boy maybe. But really, I want him to learn to be more responsible. To focus on going to bathroom and getting ready for school. He has to keep his room clean for the rest of the month and no video games allowed until the end of the month. If his room is not clean when he goes to bed at night that is an extra day of no videos. The Girl for forging my name has to keep the cars clean for the rest of the month and can’t do a Gymnastics Intensive this weekend. And both of them don’t get to go see the new James Bond movie “Spectra” in Imax this weekend.

I had a conversation with the Girl earlier today where she was very sorry and I could tell she now understands the gravity of what she did. She was just trying to be helpful and parenting but she missed the purpose of the signature was for me to know about what happened not just to get done. I was crying and so was she. I hate days like this. I wish I knew exactly how to handle this so they would learn what I want them to learn and not have to have those uncomfortable calls from the teacher. At least this teacher knows me well and I think he is a great fit for The Boy. He also had The Girl in 4th grade and had a talk with her about it too. So thankful for that teacher.

Today was filled with a few parenting wins and losses. One big win is that the Hubs and I handled it well together. No yelling or fighting between us and no blaming. We really are working on trying to get along better and work together. We have had our moments to blame the other for our kids bad behavior or get into fights about stupid stuff like this. When in reality our kids are normal kids and they do stupid things sometimes. That’s why we are here to teach them how to fix their stupid mistakes and not make them again. Hopefully it won’t get worse from here…Knock on Wood, Cross your fingers!

The Hubs and I are doing good. I am super happy we are getting better and less stressed and less argumentative about every little thing. We are becoming closer and happier in our lives and don’t feel the need to argue about things as much. We are on the same team and we will continue to work together at coming to solutions and correcting our kids not arguing over who is at fault for why they are how they are. Would you look at that? We are growing up too!

Discipline, Consequences and Consistency are key!

#Everyday2015

That’s Called Life You See

01 Thursday Oct 2015

Posted by in Live life, Marriage is work, Parenting, Raising Kids

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Today was a rough one! Between the aftermath of yesterday and the new events of today and my car being in the shop and the reality that we have to pay for it tomorrow… Just a rough day in this thing called life!

The kids were at home with a babysitter and were in the hot tub then when it was time for them tonight then cover down they didn’t know how and reefed on it and broke the cover lifter and ripped the hot tub cover! Babysitter never called to ask for help or direction. It is frustrating to leave your kids at home with a sitter and not know what is going to be broken when you get back. She nor the kids never called to ask for help. That is why I have a cell phone! So frustrating.

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My car is finished in the shop tomorrow. A new clutch, fly wheel and thermostat that they noticed was leaking when they torn it all apart. I just hope they fixed it right! It will be nice to have my car back I missed her! I love the truck but really I prefer to drive my Saab. Just $3000+ and it will good as new I hope! Just in time for us to get a new ATSV… Typical, you put a grip of money in a car just to buy a new one!

But all of this, that’s life. It sucks sometimes. Everything you do to make sure everything is taken care of and then something breaks and it isn’t even your fault, just your bill.

Stress management… That is the lesson of the day!

#Everyday2015