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Category Archives: Planning

Volunteerism is Dead and I am out of cares…

02 Tuesday Oct 2018

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Parenting, Planning, Schedule, Self Care, Volunteering

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Care about more than you, HELP OUT!

The world needs dreamers who doI miss having time! When my kids were young I had all the time in the world and rushed everything. Now they are teenagers the Girl is a Freshman, just had her first Homecoming the Boy is 12 in Middle School and is going from School baseball to football practice 3 days a week. The days we don’t have a schedule we are running around filling in the stuff we don’t have time for and still don’t have time to get groceries or cook real food.

The organizations my kids are involved in are all volunteer and it seems the spirit of volunteerism is gone. It seems I am the one who sees that and the one who will do what needs to be done. It’s frustrating to be the only one who care about the organization and then more than that the only one who will actually do the work that needs done. At the sacrifice of my family. I am working for the organization to succeed and thrive and while I am doing that my family struggles. Why? Because I refuse to do a bad job at the work that is done but I feel like the work that is getting done isn’t really the best and get judged by those around (who aren’t doing as much work) that it is disorganized and incomplete. I can’t do it all. Why doesn’t anyone want to help? Why am I the one who has to stay late every night finishing. Why am I the only one who cares? It is so frustrating. Why am I putting this much effort into something my son will only be involved in for one more year? What do I get out of it?

Nothing the answer is nothing. The others in the organization that are not focused on the big picture all they want to do it what is fun and here I am grinding out the hard stuff. I said I would never do this job. It’s too labor intensive it takes me away from my family. The Hubs helps but complains all the way and then we end up exhausted at the end of Saturday instead of celebrating a win and a great game for our son we colapse at 11pm once we finally get home! I am frustrated.

I miss time for me. I miss jumping up in the morning ready to go to the gym. Now I wake up thinking, I should wash the dishes and do laundry before I go. Then I secretly want he grocery store open at 5 am so I can do groceries then and have food in the house and not have to interrupt my schedule of work, volunteering, work and more volunteering. I have cleaning and organizing to do for volunteering job today that didn’t get done at 10:30 pm Saturday when we finished up. My plan was to put a plan in place and have helpers be able to do it without me there. But there is no one willing to do that work. My gut is about to quit and say obviously no one cares so why should I?

It’s about the kids but is it really? I am going to have to do some sole searching on this right now. With the lack of help from the others in the organization to do the tough stuff not just the sit behind a keyboard or text message thread making decisions of who get that kid or the other… All I want is to make sure the kids are safe with gear and  supplies I don’t want to loose my family running the business for the club and that is about how I feel this is going to end. Why is the spirit of volunteerism dead? And why do people pick and choose what they want to do and leave the hard stuff to people like me who actually care about it and will do the work….

#feelingdefeated

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Kid Stress

24 Wednesday Jan 2018

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Connection, Live in the Moment, Love Your Kids, Parenting, Planning, Respect, Working Mom

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Apple doesn't fall far from a tree, give you mom a kiss, lead by example, mi kid, Parenting is Hard, Respect, success, time management

Today was a stressful day. I had a stressful mommy morning. The boy has been having issues getting going in the mornings. Today, he even got up when his alarm want off, two hours before we leave for school! He struggles with time management and he likes to doddle. I got home from the gym (I go at 5:30am before they are awake) only to find him watching TV when I got home, which is against the rules unless your ready for school you’re not allowed to watch TV. What is it about my son that makes it so he can’t stay on task without someone (me) checking up on him and reminding him we are checking up on him. He got up with his alarm had more than 2 hours then blamed me because I had to sign something for school (a behavior reflection sheet) for him. He did not think about it until the last minute. Then he comes out with his knee pads for wrestling in his hands and not in his back pack. I kind of lost my shit especially after I had been asking him is his backpack ready to go is everything else ready to go? He even had lied earlier when I first came home from the gym about if he had a shower. I was reminding him almost all morning the time we needed to leave and what still needed to be done. To top off the frustration when we got to the school and he got out of the car he didn’t give me the normal hug and kiss he usually does. He just stared me down. I had just yell/lectured at him for the whole drive (which is only about 2 minutes long). It was not a proud moment and I wanted get out of the car and grab him and force him to hug and kiss me and apologize but I just let him go. What do I do to teach him responsibility and respect. Here is my plan:Ok, so here’s my plan 1. I’m going to set a time to leave the house. If he is not ready he does not get a ride to school if he is late to school he won’t get a ride sports to practices after school. 2. In order to get in the car or to leave to go to school he must have a healthy lunch packed and checked by me that it is a balanced complete meal 3. and must take a shower otherwise he will not be considered ready to go 4. No Xbox or TV before school ever….and for the next 2 weeks at all until he is caught up at school (I got notice from his teacher he is behind in his reading) 5. He is being pulled from extra sports. (He will go to his school sport because of eligibility and he needs to run everyday) but Basketball and Baseball privileges are revoked until caught up at school and I get notice from his teacher that it is so. 5. I will not help with morning routine unless asked and if I have time. He needs to don’t all until he learns respect and appreciation 6. We will have a heart to heart to pair down what is really going on worth him and figure out what he wants and how he plans to accomplish all he needs to do 7. Nightly checks that his bedroom is kept organized and that his school bag is ready before he goes to bed at night. 8. Please, thank you, and proper manners including things like holding the door for others, and allowing others to go ahead in line, getting up for elders to give chairs etc will be practiced. This is my plan for now. I need to be more consistent. I feel guilty for part of this maybe I should have been more direct this morning and other mornings because this happens a lot. He is new to the whole Middle School thing so I should be understanding of the transition and realize puberty and hormones may be playing into this. However, I want to teach him to be a responsible, reliable adult. Someone who can stay on task and get themselves ready. He shouldn’t need me as his mom or anyone to help him. If he has help he needs to realize how big it is and be appreciative for that help. He’s learning and so am I! The Girl did all this on her own and it was easy for her. She helps keep me on time for things. I do also feel guilty because he is so much like me! The poor boy has no hope worth me being his mom, but I have learned to deal and he needs to as well! Stay strong Momma’s, we need to instill discipline and respect, reliability responsibility and kindness in kids these days and that is not always the feel good easy thing to do. Fight the good fight this one is important! #SLWC2018

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Own Your Vision

23 Tuesday Jan 2018

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Be You, Business, Massage Therapy, Planning, Raising Kids, Working Mom

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Don't let others judge and define you, Home office, Home office and Professional can coexist, Jury Duty, love what you do, low overhead, Professional, Reschedule Everything

Awe man about the same time I realized I hadn’t written yet today, I also realized I hadn’t called in to see if I have to report for jury duty! Damn it, I have to report at 8am! I will do my Civic duty and go in tomorrow! Boo!

Today was a productive busy day of massage work, business networking and soul searching. Am I in the right place? I think I am and this is why, I met two great clients from a marketing gig I have done in the past year. They both seemed to be pleased with their appointment and one rebooked for two appointments for the following two months, the other didn’t have work schedule but said she’d call! It felt right like it was affirmation that I am in the right place and that I can build a home based practice.

I love working from home. I just want to stop getting “the look” from professionals when I talk about my home office. I feel judged when I tell networking partners that I work from home. As if I can’t be professional seeing clients in a home office. When I originally decided to be an LMT (Licensed Massage Therapist) I originally envisioned my work as a massage therapist, was me working from home. As a mom of Middle School Kids it is a perfect situation. “Own it Ruby! Stop letting others define and judge you.” Now if I could fill my books with paying clients that would be even better!

#SLWC2018

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Change is Coming

14 Sunday Jan 2018

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in #GoHawks, Be Present, Family, Football, Live in the Moment, Live life, Planning, Seahawks

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Appreciate What You Have, Balance, but you are always in control of how it affects you, love what you have, Savor every moment, You are not always in control

Today we are sitting watching NFL football and reminiscing about our Football team, the Seahawks. It’s been a few years since we haven’t been at a playoff game or had a game to watch during the playoffs. It’s great to be a good team but it takes constant work and effort and dynamic adjustments on many levels. Football is the ultimate team sport. The team has to work together as whole in order to win games and even more work to stay on top.

Football is dynamic in the game and even in-between seasons. Our team, the Seahawks, have seen so many changes. We’ve seen a lot stay the same as well. But if things that are dynamic and things that are static don’t groove together, you struggle. That is what happened this season. This is also what happens over time with relationships and families as well.

So many things are static but yet so many things are dynamic in life. It’s great if your loving the things that don’t change but if you are one who wants to embrace the dynamics of change and live with one who does not it can cause difficulty and struggle. The key is balance in life and football. There will always be change and there will always be things that stay the same. You cannot always affect them, be it to change or keep them the way you want.

We must, in order to be happy, embrace it all. Look for the things you love in every situation. Savor the passing moment as you are not guaranteed to have it again as much as you wish or want to or even try to keep it you will never get it back. It’s always good to remember what works, but realize you may not be able to duplicate it and that is okay. Change is really the only constant in life and change is not constant.

Acceptance, love, appreciation for the good is what we need to focus regardless of it’s what we think we want or need. Search for the good focus on the good enhance the good and put in hard work to affect change in the way you want it to go. If you don’t get the results you want, change is coming so don’t let it get you down!

Here’s to a better you, a better family, and a better football season, in 2018. It will take to perseverance to sustain and faith to change what needs to change.

#GoHawks

#SLWC2018

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Give Yourself Time to Adjust

05 Friday Jan 2018

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be You, Do You, New Year, Planning, Uncategorized

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Not Yet, Sex everyday, Starting everything Monday

Resolution writing everyday here I am writing at 10:06pm on my phone as the kids fill their bowls with ice cream. I had one massage and did a cake today. Did not have a shower…or wash my face but am still on the sex everyday track, and if I am correct I at at 6 even though today is only the 5th yes we’ve had one two a day! I have yet to log any miles running this year hopefully tomorrow will be my day. I have decided to start on all everything officially on Monday. I am being a little easy on myself this year. I will follow through I just am better if I start on a Monday! The family has our meeting for goals that will be the kick off! I sound so lazy! Oh well! Do the best you can with what you can. Tomorrow I will write more. The Fam is watching Truman Show.

I feel like this was a waisted blog post. Well, at least I wrote! Work in progress we all are!

#GiveYourselfGrace2018

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Plan Focus Give Grace

26 Sunday Feb 2017

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Cleaning, Connection, Family, Friends, Homemaker, Live in the Moment, Marriage is work, Organization, Parenting, Planning, Raising Kids, Schedule, Working Mom

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Faimily, Focus, Give grace!, give yourself grace, Grace, Life is Hard, Live, Love, Make a plan, stick to it

Hello Readers,

I have to confess, I have had a rough go lately. The Hubs and I have been struggling. It’s hard for me to write encouraging posts when I don’t feel so positive it is hard for me to write positive without feeling like a fake. So, with that said, I am feeling more positive, I know that I may be having some sort of depression or anxiety and need to pay attention and not get lost in it. I am going to be going back to counseling on my own and I will be checking in with my GP about some tummy issues I’ve been having, to keep my health a priority and take care of me. As a person, as a mom, as a wife and a health care provider it is hard to serve in your roll if you feel down and ineffective. Like they say it is impossible to serve from an empty vessel.

empty-vesselIn my life in the last week I have had some clarity of mind to realize I need to focus on me. Not in a selfish way where you are “more important” than your family, that you are charged with taking care of, but in a way to be the healthiest you so your family can have a healthy mom, healthy wife and your clients can have a healthy provider coming from a place of love and caring. I have been so bogged down with stress in life that I am complaining a lot, offended easily and my brain gets flooded and I get angry easily. So much so that I don’t really recognize myself and then when the hubs and I get into “special moments” I feel like I turn into some monster that is not me! Then it spirals out of control! So I am taking control of me. Part of that is me getting back into blogging here. I want to encourage people who are or have been in my spot. Also it helps me to get my feelings out and helps me to help guide myself in a positive way, not just my readers. Plus entertaining readers with my Hump Day Challenges is a passion of mine that I have missed the last few weeks.

Another part is getting back to my life. I have been working a lot and losing site of what really matters. My work matters but there is a balance that needs to be heeded. A balance of working in my business (doing massage) as well as working on my business (admin stuff like billing and marketing). I love networking for marketing and I have a lot of friends that I network with but that networking time needs to be just that and sometimes the balance of networking and socializing line blurs and loses potency.

So to deter the blurred lines of friend time and networking time I plan to be more active in my life with friends. We all struggle balance with work and fun but it is important to stay in touch with your “people”. You know, the ones who can figure out your drunk text typos and actually answer or support you in those moments! So one part of this gaining balance and getting back to me is scheduling girlfriend time as well as date nights and family nights! All three is important as important as work time.

Another part is planning house work time. This is harder for me because really, who wants to do the bull shit tasks of cooking, cleaning and grocery shopping? Especially after work and taxiing around the kids after a full day of work? But if you ignore it or don’t plan it you end up with those “special moments” with the Hubs that no one really wants! So this next sentence is very important, You must plan with your family! Everyone in the family has a responsibility  for how the house runs! The Hubs and I have had some conversations on this and although we haven’t really planned it all out, we have made huge gains in this area. The Hubs has started helping with dishes and putting laundry away. There is much to be said about a person who actually steps up to handle the things that they hate not being done versus just complaining about it! So: MAKE A FAMILY PLAN ABOUT HOW YOUR HOUSE WILL BE RAN AND EVERYONE CONTRIBUTE! Talk about it and follow through.

So to sum up this long post:

  1. Take care of you if that means going to the doctor, counselor, journaling, exercising, What ever it is, make time!! My plan get back to counseling, exercise everyday (at least cardio), get to doctor about tummy issues, have grace with myself when I am overwhelmed!
  2. Schedule and stick to it you work and admin time in your business! My plan just get it admin and massage time on the books and don’t waiver regardless of the client and their schedule, make my schedule and family time as important as theirs. Balance!
  3. Schedule Date nights, family nights and time with “your people” My plan: Schedule girlfriend time once a month, Date nights weekly and actually go, Family nights or outings weekly
  4. Schedule House work and responsibilities! Everyone has a responsibility to participate it is not all on mom regardless if mom is a working mom stay at home. We need to teach our kids they have to contribute as well as the husbands. Talk about it and make a plan! My Plan: schedule family menu planning meetings, utilize Clicklist with preplanned menus. Give kids chores and follow through with them to do it on schedule before practices and dance.
  5. GIVE GRACE! Let everyone have a little grace with heavy stress load times of homework, busy work days and heavily scheduled tournaments or competitions. Everyone is trying hard to motivate through life! We all want what’s best for our family and ourselves and sometimes we need to take a nap instead of vacuum! As long as we are all doing our best when our family needs help lets lend a helping hand they will do the same for you when you need! Help each other out to get to the goal and enjoy the good moments like the tournament wins and realize sometimes those things come when the house is messy, but when those moments are over and we have down time we can catch up when we need to! As long as there is not mold growing on the dishes and the house isn’t burning down and there is a dance to watch or a game going on…take it in! Enjoy these busy crazy moments building a lives, growing children into adults, growing a business and creating a life! Make it happy!!!

Live the life you’ve imagined because remember in your dreams you saw the results not the work that it takes to get there! FOCUS on what is important. Family, friends, lives, and moments are important! Money and dishes and laundry will go away savor moments with your people!!!

#Live2017

 

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Put Energy In Things That Move You Closer To Your Goals

21 Sunday Aug 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be You, Business, Do Your Thing, Live in the Moment, Live life, Planning, Working Mom

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Busy, craziness planned, Have sex as much as possible, I love my life, Love, Plan to have balance

Stress-management-photoI really miss blogging everyday. I really hope to get back to it. However, I really want my blog to be quality. To be inspirational, educational, funny and have less typos. However, when I write many times I am distracted and have a lot going on. That’s what happens as a working mom. I lack good boundaries to set strict rules for myself and my family about when they can get my attention and when I put my attention into different things than just my blog. I have started a business and that has taken a lot more energy and effort and my time than I originally had planned for. I know it is going to be great but it needs a lot of energy and I have to make it a priority. I should make a priority to set a better schedule and get all of my tasks in. Sometimes, I just sit and do nothing or watch mindless TV shows to just relax. Everyone needs that, yes, everyone does!

I am working to help you my readers to be better at being present in your life. That is a goal I have to inspire you and encourage you and myself to be present. Whatever it is that you are trying to do do it big, do it well and do it with love! I am not the best example of how to do that, but I know you can do it. Do your best, love with all your heart. Have perspective and put your energy in the areas of your life that you want to flourish! A good place to start with that is to have a schedule, make lists, prioritize well and get help!

One big thing you need, this deserves it’s own paragraph is self awareness. Know what you want. Have a vision and be clear. Write it down if you need to. When you are feeling overwhelmed take a minute to step back and evaluate where you are and where you want to be. Are you on a path that is getting you closer to where you want to be or are you putting too much energy into things or places that don’t matter! Really be intentional in everything you do and you will get closer to where you want to go. Eliminate things that don’t help you get there. Those moments you say “yes” when you know you should say “no” take a minute and think, will this help me in the areas of my life I need to keep moving forward? Will this help accomplish my goals? If not then respectfully say “no”. There are sometimes we do have to sacrifice for our children or our spouse or family and do those things  but make it meaningful. If you cannot do it full out and with a good spirit say no anyway! Always do everything with your best energy and intention. You will be rewarded for that, in some way shape or form. I believe that to be so.

I will work on this as I muddle through this first month of owning my own business. I will work through getting myself organized, scheduling things in my life so I can not be buried in my business but also not make my business a charity and make money and pay myself with it. I will work on all of this. I will make lists, schedule groceries and cleaning. I already have put on my schedule my “business accounting/billing/office work” time for Tuesday mornings. Grocery shopping is after that and cleaning will need a time too. I will be working Monday and Friday evenings and probably Tuesdays as well, I haven’t got that nailed down as I have an onsite job that I do and I need to make sure that day is nailed down first. I will commit to continuing to write a Hump Day Challenge every week and I will try to include at least two more posts every week. So you should see at least three blog posts a week from me, sometimes more when I have a moment.

So there you have it. There is the start to my list and my commitment to you readers. I love this blog, I love writing. I love my family and husband and kids and my business. I have to give myself some realistic expectations of how to accomplish happiness and balance. Keep reading and feel free to comment and interact with me if you like. Continue to be positive and open minded and keep having sex as much as you can! Go forth and Sex, Love and Washing Clothes with me!

#Plan2016

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OH MY WORD!

04 Thursday Aug 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Business, Football, Organization, Planning, Working Mom

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Focus, I can do it!, Overwhelmed, So worth it, Starting my own business is a lot of work

FUCK!!!!  I forgot to write my Hump Day Challenge yesterday! I really need to get everything situated and settled and organized so I can get back to blogging everyday!

What if I flyI wish I was more organized! I wish I knew what I was doing! I wish I had time to do all this before I opened!

Well, that’s all I have time for today!!!! Well, I could go on but…nope gotta go! So much to do between starting this whole “My own business” thing and week one of Football…. Oh my goodness I promise tomorrow I will put in more time and give a good part of me in my blog and I will post random Hump Day Challenges on non “Hump  Days”

Hope you all are well and enjoying your summer! Love you all!

#OMG2016

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Just Get It Done

15 Friday Apr 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Do You, Just Do It, Planning, Working Mom

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Just get your shit done, Live In The Moment, plan you day, Sex everyday, stop making excuses, take time to enjoy it, Workout

I have had a rough go this week. I have gotten out of the habit of blogging everyday and I am struggling getting in my workouts and miss a day a week of sex everyday. As I looked for a quote or something to post for today and inspire me to write for 5 minutes this is what I came across! Fitting! Got to get back into the habit and make new ones so I can accomplish what I want to accomplish!

image

image

#Recomitt2016

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Build Your Brand

31 Thursday Mar 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Be You, Business, Planning, Working Mom

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Be brave, Don't Be Afraid to be great, Go for it, let it happen, Live Life, trust yourself

image

Today I finalized the logo for my Massage Therapy company/business/brand. The Hubs thinks I’m crazy because I am currently still an employee but what a lot of people who don’t work in this industry or any industry like this is that you are your “brand” people don’t come to see your employer they come to see you. I want my clients to come to their massage appointment and remember my name. I know they will remember my massage. I know I am good but in 5 years when the lady in the car accident has some back pain I want her to think of me and search my name or business name, not the Chiropractor I work for. I know my hands sell my massage. There are a lot of really great massage therapists out there, how does one remember me over the others? That’s why I wanted to and decided to create a logo and an identity for my business, my brand. One day I will be the massage therapist that everyone in town knows of, even if they haven’t met me. One day I would like to have a clinic where I can train up and mentor new massage therapists who have a passion for helping people the same way I do! I want to change the world with the word relax! That’s why I crated a brand and I am excited for this next step in my business.

Today mantra is to just go where it takes you. I always plan and have a goal, not that I don’t but there is a big part of me that knows there is greatness coming and I just have to follow my passion and my heart and it will be. I have to stop worrying about controlling the future because I think I am constricting it! I have faith and I will do this and it will be great, both financially and emotionally! I am ready for this new ride!

#Recomitt2016

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