Category Archives: Raising Kids

New Start, Old Beginning

02 Saturday Mar 2019

Posted by in Be Present, Business, Everyday, Family, Live in the Moment, Marriage, Marriage is hard, Marriage is work, Mom Stuff, Organization, Raising Kids, Sex, Sex Love and Washing Clothes, Take the time to take care of yourself, Washing Clothes, Working Mom

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I titled today’s entry before I started to write. Normally I write and then pick a title. Today I have decided to start new, but it is an old beginning. I have had this beginning a lot. The I’m tired of fucking it up and want to get back on track. It has been a while since I have sat down to write. I have been busy doing what feels like spinning my wheels. I started blogging back in 2015 as a stay at home mom who was trying to encourage tried and weiry moms that it’s okay to “just be a mom” but shortly into 2015 I went back to work because well, our family needed the financial help and because I wanted to be more than “just a mom”. Sort of felt and still feels a little hypocritical. Old beginning because well, I have been here so many times before.Don't be afraid

I had a mission with this blog to help moms and dads stay in their marriage. At the time the Hubs and I had great sex but a rocky relationship. There were many times we kept our relationship together with just great sex. There was a lot left to be desired in our lives. We had communication issues that we were working on, as many busy parents with busy children have. We were and still are today stretched very thin! Sex was the one thing we could do that we both enjoyed without having to have much discussion and when I decided to have sex everyday in 2015 the Hubs was thrilled at the thought of not having to wonder when the next time he was going to get it. For the most part 2015 worked really well. The first part of 2016 was pretty good to but towards the end of that year it was a struggle. I had decided to move into private practice with my massage career and spent a lot of time working on my business which caused a lot of strain between the Hubs and I. That year ended really badly. I try not to say things are bad but at that time things were bad. I had felt like a fraud like I had wrote this blog all of 2015 and most of 2016 oh how to keep things together and make my marriage work and my plan had failed.  We were falling apart, it was almost the end of us. We decided to stay together, to work through our stuff and then another new old beginning.

Then 2017 went on rebuilding I decided to move my private practice home. The best of both worlds right? Well towards the end of 2017 another event happened that strained our relationship. Different but just as much of a strain and then that was almost the demise of us all of the struggles of 2016 came back in flashbacks and sorrow and just plain struggle. All the while we still maintained weekly date nights and tried to do the best we could with nightly sex and connecting but there were parts of both of us that were just unconnected, bitter and angry. We were also both remorseful for our roles in the fallout. We were sorry we were sad and missed each other like we had been on two separate continents! So decided to put it all behind us and onto another new but old beginning.

Then the start of 2018 we decided once again, we are here for the long haul. There is something to be said for two stubborn people being married and valuing their commitment made to each other! We have stayed our course through many very, oh so bumpy stretch of road the last few years. Maybe it’s maturity and maybe we are finally starting to “get” each other and fully commit to respect and love and cherish each other, it finally feels like we are moving on and getting over some of the same struggles we kept coming back to. Now, here in 2019 we can go weeks without fights. We even can have a spat and let it go with out dragging it on for hours or days and not resulting in the using the “D” word. We don’t have sex everyday but when we do it is good for both of us! I am considering a new #everyday challenge but I don’t want it to become a job again. In 2015 it was good, 2016 it was feeling more like a job and 2017 was just bad and 2018 the theme was “what happened to 2015?” But here in 2019 we are enjoying each other more, respecting each other more, loving each other more and having sex with each other more. Yes 2019 is still young and fresh and new but we are getting back to us! It has taken a while but we are doing well!

So that’s where the New Start, Old Beginning is, maybe it’s not such an old beginning, maybe this one is new it just gets old starting over again. Still the same: I am still working on my weight issues, still trying to decide what to do with my practice. Agonizing everyday if I am making the right parenting decisions and trying to convince the Hubs to get a dog and go house shopping or renovate ours. We have a lot to be happy about there is a lot going on here! As I sit back and look at things, I think why didn’t we just keep going with 2015? We got busy. Life gets crazy. Maybe we even got lazy or went on auto pilot. You can’t just sit back and let life take you where you want to go. Because unless you are driving the car it has a mind of it’s own and this girl wants to drive the direction I want to. The direction that will take my family in the right direction. For me, For the Hubs and for the kids. I am not a fan of this Old Beginning lets have a new beginning, start over on a new path!

One big thing I have struggled with is deciding what makes me tick. What do I want? I have spent so many years taking care of my family as a mom that I don’t even know what I want. I know I was insanely happy in the stroller days of my kids. Being able to load them in the stroller and go for a run. We would go pick up groceries in the stroller my house was not clean and my kids were very giddy and happy all the time. I can’t have those days back but I want that happiness back. Do I need to run more? Not worry about cleaning as much? I have started the Marie Kondu method but I just did my closets but now I’ve got to do my whole house.

So this year I want to find my passion. I love massage but it gives me stress billing and being a business owner, so can that really be my passion? I love to workout and exercise especially running and doing races but that doesn’t make me money to help with finances. I love and miss dancing but finances and time? I love to sing! I have spent more time singing karaoke and not missing the chance to sing than anything, how can I do that more? I miss writing here in my blog! I miss the words flowing really easily (can you tell?)

I told the boy yesterday that he had to decide to work hard when he is in a game. It is a conscious choice you have to make. Get up and grind and work hard but for me I struggle with that. So many different hats that I wear I struggle deciding where to put that effort. Not to mention I have ADD which does not help. This is my goal, this is my passion for this year, to find my passion and live it to the fullest! Doing it all while loving, taking care of and protecting my family. Balancing work life: growing a business, family life: getting everyone where they need to be when they need to be there, feeding them healthy meals and communicating all of that to the Hubs to get help from him and then not forgetting to cultivate our relationship in communication as well as sexualization. I want us to be happy these last few years before the kids leave us and give our kids a happy healthy place to live.

Is it doable? I believe so I will take you along on this journey this year and I will keep writing as this helps me process my thoughts and helps me stay positive. And gives me accountability! There may be things I have to let go of being in control of and getting my way but come with me this year on this journey and watch me win! One way or another!

Oh and by the way I turn 40 this year so there is a sense of urgency to show up and be me and know who “Me” is but not lose my family in the process. This will be no old beginning this is a fresh start to new beginnings, hard work and grind yes but love and laughter and passion to be found in this new beginning. In the process I will not let the hard work wear me down. I will not take the easy way out like I have in all the old beginnings. It’s hard, I won’t stop until I am where I want to be!

#ThisisRuby

Call Your Friends

01 Thursday Feb 2018

Posted by in Connection, Dance, Do Your Thing, Don't judge me, Family, Friends, Raising Kids, Relax, Self Care, wrestling

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Why people are sad

Happy Thursday!!! So, there has been no alcohol consumed on this First day of February but for some reason the mood in here is light and airy, unlike it has been for the last month of Dry January. It is a good day here in the Earl household! The boy is well into his first year of Middle School Wrestling and doing great. He has had 2 matches on Varsity as a 6th grader, 2 wins, 1 with a pin and one by points. Today was the points match. It was intense the kid he wrestled was good but the Boy was better. He kept focus was strong and held him off and managed to score more points even when the ref was screwed up in his scoring (he had to score a couple Take-downs before he even got points). I love watching him wrestle he is doing great!

The girl is gearing up for her first full convention and competition this weekend. She will be on her own deciding what she can do per her knee pain. She has taken today and tomorrow’s classes off to give a rest before the big weekend. I hope she can hold up with minimal set backs but sometimes when you rehab from injury and reintroduce sports and workload, that happens. This is the competition that she won their title award a few years ago. I love seeing her win awards and get scholarships but I try not to attach to much emotion to that, but it’s hard! I just love watching her dance!

Today I had a girlfriend come over for coffee. OMG was that refreshing and so enjoyable! I really needed that and I think the two of us need to do that more often! It is refreshing for the soul. Women need supportive women friends to support each other. I am so happy to have reconnected. I met this friend through my daughter. The Girl and this friends daughter have been friends since 2 grade or so. The daughter is a great friend to the Girl and the mom to me. I am just so thankful and grateful for her. We had a great visit talking about everything under the sun even gossiping about our kids and their drama with their friends. We made a “we won’t tell anyone what we talked about today” pact. I love that! I love my friend!

You need people! We all need people especially us ladies. We thrive on each other we process emotions by talking to each other and it helps us to not kill our husbands and children and for ourselves. Men need that sense of community to but they process things differently sorry guys but I don’t know how to tell you to do it, but grab a guy friend go shoot hoops or play golf, boys don’t seem to need to talk as much as ladies they need to move, work on cars together or play sports. Bottom line we all need community and friends. Ladies tend to compete with each other and get petty and find faults we need to stop that! I am thankful that this mom friend has never made me feel like we are competing, Nor has she judged me, she’s a good friend! Not to mention she has been available to take my kids to and from school and even take the boy at times and she doesn’t have boys. She is really a great gal pal and I love her and we all need more of them.

Go be with your community! Be friends with your spouse and Have a friend group to hang with and confide in together but also separate from your spouse. Being loved and being social is one thing that helps us thrive. We need connection sometimes we need to ask our friends over for coffee and stop waiting for them to call us!

#SLWC2018

What Was I Thinking?

27 Saturday Jan 2018

Posted by in Be You, Dance, Dance Like No One is Watching, Mom Stuff, Raising Kids

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don't forget you love danceI really don’t know what I was thinking when I thought that I would blog during a dance convention. The Girl is at her first convention of the season. She has been injured so she missed the convention part of the last one her team did. She has sat out 2 of the classes so far because of pain, but is now in the last class of the day which is Hip Hop. I love watching her dance and I love watching these instructors teach. I brought a book to read, my Surface to blog and of course there is always the social media distraction on my phone, and all my mom friends. I really don’t need any distraction! I would be quite content just watching!

I am enjoying watching the Girl dance and sad that she is still having some knee pain. I hope that she can overcome this and dance to her hearts content witout pain. I want her to enjoy  her hobby. Not to mention she is so good, I want the world to see her!

I am super excited that I get to watch her solo tonight. She has sheltered me from seeing any of it. She chose a song from the newest Linkin Park album. She was selecting songs and this was my favorite of the top three. She of course didn’t select it because of that, if she knew it was my fave, she probably would have probably taken it off her list. (She is so much a teenage girl right now, “don’t let mom see I am having fun and no way will I enjoy something she suggests.”) She is dancing to “Nobody Can Save Me” She was listening to it today and I almost started crying just listening to the words and everything that is that song; What happend with Chester, emotions and her dancing to it! OMG so powerful. That whole album is so emotional. It was the last one before Chester Bennington committed suicide he wrote at least part of it for Chris Cornell who also committed suicide. I have listened to that album different since Chester passed away and have thought, “it sounds like a really detailed and long suicide note.”

Then my crazy mom head goes…she’s not depressed or having suicidal thoughts is she? Am I there for her enough? Is this teenage girl attitude really normal or a warning sign? It is  normal, right? I think so. I am doing my best to let her be who she is. There is fine balance, I hope to continue to walk the tight rope, that she likes me enough to come to me in times she needs someone but hates me enough to be a normal teenager…I let her be who she is, I love that girl. She talks about her feelings but she holds a lot in too. I think dance helps her ‘express’ herself but sometimes she holds back especially when I am watching. I can’t wait to see her solo and I hope she is going to put her emotion into it and I think it will be phenomenal!

I am really enjoying watching her learn and get into the new moves she is learning and having to adjust to protect that injured knee but as I watch her I can tell she is loving it. In her movements she is happy. It is so refreshing to watch. What is fun about these routines is that they can learn them and just dance. They don’t have to worry about being judged or performing it, they get to just have fun with it! They need more time like this to just dance for the love of dance.

Anyway, I am going back to watching dance! This is what I pay for right?!

#SLWC2018

 

Own Your Vision

23 Tuesday Jan 2018

Posted by in Be Present, Be You, Business, Massage Therapy, Planning, Raising Kids, Working Mom

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Awe man about the same time I realized I hadn’t written yet today, I also realized I hadn’t called in to see if I have to report for jury duty! Damn it, I have to report at 8am! I will do my Civic duty and go in tomorrow! Boo!

Today was a productive busy day of massage work, business networking and soul searching. Am I in the right place? I think I am and this is why, I met two great clients from a marketing gig I have done in the past year. They both seemed to be pleased with their appointment and one rebooked for two appointments for the following two months, the other didn’t have work schedule but said she’d call! It felt right like it was affirmation that I am in the right place and that I can build a home based practice.

I love working from home. I just want to stop getting “the look” from professionals when I talk about my home office. I feel judged when I tell networking partners that I work from home. As if I can’t be professional seeing clients in a home office. When I originally decided to be an LMT (Licensed Massage Therapist) I originally envisioned my work as a massage therapist, was me working from home. As a mom of Middle School Kids it is a perfect situation. “Own it Ruby! Stop letting others define and judge you.” Now if I could fill my books with paying clients that would be even better!

#SLWC2018

Christmas Eve

25 Monday Dec 2017

Posted by in Family, Live in the Moment, Love, Love Your Kids, Marriage, Marriage is hard, Parenting, Raising Kids, Sex Love and Washing Clothes

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The kids are in bed, presents all wrapped and set up for them to find in the morning. The Hubs is sleeping next to me after a long fun filled day of Seahawks away game party and the Christmas Eve gathering we have at our house. Today was a beautiful day. Our team won! Go Hawks! We had some of our best friends with us for dinner, drinks, cookie decorating, and spending quality time together.

Growing up Christmas Eve in my house was very similar. My Dad’s tradition was to set up the Christmas Tree on Christmas Eve. We would have an open house friends would come by and out an ornament on the tree and eat food and spend time with us. It was at that event on this night in 1996 that The Hubs and shared our first kiss. Who knew we would end up here 21 years later. I would not change it for the world.

We have had many bumps and turns in the road of our life. This last year has been a really rough year and I fear some roughness in our future, but at the end of the day, I look at this man and all we have created together and count my blessings and remember why I am here. I love this man who is snoring next to me. He is, sometimes, really hard to live with and sometimes, I want to ring his neck but he is my soulmate. We clash in many things but those are the things that balance us. We a have busy chaotic life that adds stress but one day the kids will be grown and we will slow down and we will cherish these years the most.

My goal for 2018 is living in the moment more and really enjoying our kids. We spend a lot of money and a lot of time on them. Sometimes that distracts us from enjoying them. They are fun to watch don’t here thing. The girl is an amazing dancer. I want to appreciate her dance more especially since she is talking about not dancing after this year. The Boy plays 4 sports now. He added Basketball once Christmas break is over wrestling will start and booked ending those are Football and baseball. He is a good athlete he has a good attitude and really enjoys what he does. I want him to know it’s about playing hard and doing well but mostly it’s about having fun while you do it. Same worth The Girl it’s not about winning scholarships at competition it’s about having fun, putting yourself into the dance and let it move you.

Today I sit here in appreciation of my family. The Hubs takes really good care of this family with his work and providing for us. We are able this year to help my mom out and got her a car that should last her a while. It is a nicer car than she has and most of all SAFE! I feel pretty thankful that my husband will also take care of my mom like that. I like to be able to play Santa to my mom, I know she will appreciate it and I am thankful she will have a safe car to use when she is transporting my children around town. She does that a lot! It’s a way of paying her back for that.

I am just in awe of my family right now. The Hubs and I have had a really rough year but right now in this moment I feel joy and love and appreciation. I want to hold that feeling close to my heart and focus on that in 2018.

#LoveAlways2017

Plan Focus Give Grace

26 Sunday Feb 2017

Posted by in Be Present, Cleaning, Connection, Family, Friends, Homemaker, Live in the Moment, Marriage is work, Organization, Parenting, Planning, Raising Kids, Schedule, Working Mom

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Hello Readers,

I have to confess, I have had a rough go lately. The Hubs and I have been struggling. It’s hard for me to write encouraging posts when I don’t feel so positive it is hard for me to write positive without feeling like a fake. So, with that said, I am feeling more positive, I know that I may be having some sort of depression or anxiety and need to pay attention and not get lost in it. I am going to be going back to counseling on my own and I will be checking in with my GP about some tummy issues I’ve been having, to keep my health a priority and take care of me. As a person, as a mom, as a wife and a health care provider it is hard to serve in your roll if you feel down and ineffective. Like they say it is impossible to serve from an empty vessel.

empty-vesselIn my life in the last week I have had some clarity of mind to realize I need to focus on me. Not in a selfish way where you are “more important” than your family, that you are charged with taking care of, but in a way to be the healthiest you so your family can have a healthy mom, healthy wife and your clients can have a healthy provider coming from a place of love and caring. I have been so bogged down with stress in life that I am complaining a lot, offended easily and my brain gets flooded and I get angry easily. So much so that I don’t really recognize myself and then when the hubs and I get into “special moments” I feel like I turn into some monster that is not me! Then it spirals out of control! So I am taking control of me. Part of that is me getting back into blogging here. I want to encourage people who are or have been in my spot. Also it helps me to get my feelings out and helps me to help guide myself in a positive way, not just my readers. Plus entertaining readers with my Hump Day Challenges is a passion of mine that I have missed the last few weeks.

Another part is getting back to my life. I have been working a lot and losing site of what really matters. My work matters but there is a balance that needs to be heeded. A balance of working in my business (doing massage) as well as working on my business (admin stuff like billing and marketing). I love networking for marketing and I have a lot of friends that I network with but that networking time needs to be just that and sometimes the balance of networking and socializing line blurs and loses potency.

So to deter the blurred lines of friend time and networking time I plan to be more active in my life with friends. We all struggle balance with work and fun but it is important to stay in touch with your “people”. You know, the ones who can figure out your drunk text typos and actually answer or support you in those moments! So one part of this gaining balance and getting back to me is scheduling girlfriend time as well as date nights and family nights! All three is important as important as work time.

Another part is planning house work time. This is harder for me because really, who wants to do the bull shit tasks of cooking, cleaning and grocery shopping? Especially after work and taxiing around the kids after a full day of work? But if you ignore it or don’t plan it you end up with those “special moments” with the Hubs that no one really wants! So this next sentence is very important, You must plan with your family! Everyone in the family has a responsibility  for how the house runs! The Hubs and I have had some conversations on this and although we haven’t really planned it all out, we have made huge gains in this area. The Hubs has started helping with dishes and putting laundry away. There is much to be said about a person who actually steps up to handle the things that they hate not being done versus just complaining about it! So: MAKE A FAMILY PLAN ABOUT HOW YOUR HOUSE WILL BE RAN AND EVERYONE CONTRIBUTE! Talk about it and follow through.

So to sum up this long post:

  1. Take care of you if that means going to the doctor, counselor, journaling, exercising, What ever it is, make time!! My plan get back to counseling, exercise everyday (at least cardio), get to doctor about tummy issues, have grace with myself when I am overwhelmed!
  2. Schedule and stick to it you work and admin time in your business! My plan just get it admin and massage time on the books and don’t waiver regardless of the client and their schedule, make my schedule and family time as important as theirs. Balance!
  3. Schedule Date nights, family nights and time with “your people” My plan: Schedule girlfriend time once a month, Date nights weekly and actually go, Family nights or outings weekly
  4. Schedule House work and responsibilities! Everyone has a responsibility to participate it is not all on mom regardless if mom is a working mom stay at home. We need to teach our kids they have to contribute as well as the husbands. Talk about it and make a plan! My Plan: schedule family menu planning meetings, utilize Clicklist with preplanned menus. Give kids chores and follow through with them to do it on schedule before practices and dance.
  5. GIVE GRACE! Let everyone have a little grace with heavy stress load times of homework, busy work days and heavily scheduled tournaments or competitions. Everyone is trying hard to motivate through life! We all want what’s best for our family and ourselves and sometimes we need to take a nap instead of vacuum! As long as we are all doing our best when our family needs help lets lend a helping hand they will do the same for you when you need! Help each other out to get to the goal and enjoy the good moments like the tournament wins and realize sometimes those things come when the house is messy, but when those moments are over and we have down time we can catch up when we need to! As long as there is not mold growing on the dishes and the house isn’t burning down and there is a dance to watch or a game going on…take it in! Enjoy these busy crazy moments building a lives, growing children into adults, growing a business and creating a life! Make it happy!!!

Live the life you’ve imagined because remember in your dreams you saw the results not the work that it takes to get there! FOCUS on what is important. Family, friends, lives, and moments are important! Money and dishes and laundry will go away savor moments with your people!!!

#Live2017

 

Rise Above the Negative

21 Monday Nov 2016

Posted by in Be Present, Be You, Family, Live life, Marriage is work, Mom Stuff, Raising Kids, Self Care, Working Mom

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Hello friends! Last week was rough for me! I am rising above the negativity and coming out of those ashes! I know that we mom’s expect much more out of ourselves than we should. Many times, we expect even more from ourselves than our worst critic. Sadly, sometimes, that critic lives with us and is one that we love most and the one we don’t want to let down. Which is why we are so hard on ourselves. Little does that critic know he or she, his criticism, is what not only drives us and motivates us to do better but also and more likely is what drives us to fall into dark places, kills us on the inside and shakes our confidence. 

So this quick post is to say to you, rise above you mom or sister or whoever is hard on you, magnifying you minor faults, most of all rise above that voice in your head shouting out your major faults! It’s time to realize, we are all worthy of the crown we wear! Yes we all wear a crown! We are all queens of our own universe and we are our best ally! So stop cutting youself short, stop focusing on the negative don’t letting them in your head! Don’t believe everything you think! You are not that bad you are the queen

Try to find a way to shake off their words and negativity and find positive. Call your friend who supports you. Go chat with you brother or dad instead of your unapproving mother. Have girlfriend time (or guy time if your a dude reading this post). Distract yourself away from the negative. Whoever that critical family member is trying to help you be better. But you can’t hear that it’s best to get away to distract yourself away from the negative situation. Read mom blogs like this one to remind yourself that you are normal! We are all normal and we are all queens! Our crowns do t always have jewels sometimes the have gray hair or as a friend of mine states Sparkly hair and sometimes it’s a ponytail thrown up.in a baseball cap! Wear it proud. 

This critical loved one, they have a dark story and tjays where their negativity is coming from there. They probably need support and positivity in their life as well but you focus on you. They are not ready to focus on themselves maybe they don’t know how. Let them be. Share only love that is the only way to break the cycle, get yourself the loving support that you need and love your loved ones back. Break the cycle of negativity and Rise above!

You don’t have an alien living in your house, you doing just fine! You are the queen, keep it up! 

#Rise2016

Put In The Work

02 Sunday Oct 2016

Posted by in Football, Raising Kids

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It was a great week for our Pee Wee Football team finally got it’s first win. It was only week three but we only have 7 weeks and 6 games! Our boys the team that is together this year has been to the Championship the last time they were together. They have great talent just raw talent and teamwork, when they decide to use it! They have not worked as hard as they should yet this season so the coaches took matters into their own hands and kicked the boys asses during practice this week. They ran them in wind sprints and bear crawls and more sprints. They worked hard they were tough and those boys responded so well. You should have hear some of the parents “my son is big he can’t run like that” “do they know what they’re doing” “they don’t run that much during the game” “They need to work on their plays” My feeling is no, they need to toughen up and get in shape. The last few games the boys were gassed in the 4th quarter.

motivational-quotes-for-work-hardWell, this week’s game, our kids went out and won 19-0. They kicked ass. They did pretty much everything they were asked to do. They held their positions the backs hit their holes the line held their blocks. Defense wrapped up and held their tackles. They hit hard took the hard hit. The boy actually took a tough hit in open field unprotected it was epic. They called a buck wedge play (that might make sense to some of you) and he was the ball carrier he is one of the smallest kids but he is usually a blocking back so he only gets to carry the ball a few times a game. So I remember when they put this play in the playbook, they always said, “this might be your break out touchdown play or you will get stuffed” they are banking and hoping the defense bites on a fake. Well this game they kind of did, so the boy gets the ball circles around like he is supposed to then starts up field running full speed and BAM here comes the linebacker unblocked and just hashmarks the boy. (When we were in high school the players earned hashmarks the ticks to go on their helmets in order to get a hashmarks  you had to change the direction of the players body 90 degrees) basically dominating the opponent. Well the boy takes the hit and pops right back up. We were all worried but it was an epic hit one that you would replay like 50 times if you were at home watching a professional game. Anyway it was awesome. The boy still gained about 3-4 yards.

Bottom line our boys played like we know they should and better yet they got the win. These moments in youth sports is what it is all about. You can’t just get the great coaches, the good team and show up at a game. You have to work hard at practice, and at the games every single day. It takes 100% all of the time regardless of how tired you are or how much homework you have or anything else! In the moment you are working on your craft, be it your job, your sport, your art…you have to go hard, you have to give it your all. Becaue your excuses don’t matter. When you make excuses you are left with results you don’t want and your excuse and regrets! Excuses don’t win games, your opponent doesn’t care! if you want him to win keep it up. If you want to win and get the results you want stop making excuses and put in the work!

#Noexcuses2016

It’s Supposed to be Fun

03 Sunday Jul 2016

Posted by in Baseball, Raising Kids

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Today was day two of a baseball tournament. It was a rough tournament. We didn’t win a game! The Boy’s team lacks kids who are leaders and who have work ethic. No one wants to work hard. They go through motions like major leaguers. You know how they hit a routine base hit and jog to the base, 10 year olds have not earned that right to jog into a single, or to not run when they hit a ball straight to the pitcher. 10 year olds should be running o first base every time they hit the ball. They need to cover their bases and back up from the outfield. It was a hard game to watch and an even harder car ride home.

I struggle with the balance of trying to encourage and support my son and lift his spirits versus trying to call him out on all the stuff that needs to be fixed. They need to focus, they need to play their position cover the base when you’re playing second base. Make a good throw, know the game! 

I just hope the boy knows I love watching him out there. I hate seeing them not put effort in. I hate seeing them give up when things go wrong. They get off track so easily as a team. The boy hit a grounder to short stop with runners on 1st and 2nd at the ens if the game yesterday. He got thrown out for the 2nd out but advanced both runners, the next kid got out no runners scored to end the game. He was so convinced that he lost he game for the team. He was crying and upset, unconsolable, and they had another game right away to play! He was so lost in the negativity in his head In just didn’t know what to do. Confession: I did yell at him after trying o be positive and help encouraging to lift him up, which probably didn’t help! But it as so frustrating to see him all down for absolutely no reason. His team lost but they played alright. The rest of the tournament went the same way. The boy was not as heady and negative. But the team was just ehhh!

Anyway, I want to know how to help here I feel like all I am doing is making it worse. I want them to try at least out effort in cover their bases and run out to start play. Not go out on the field like they are being punished. It supposed to be fun!!!

Moving On Up

17 Friday Jun 2016

Posted by in Be Present, Family, Kids, Mom Stuff, Parenting, Raising Kids, Volunteering, Working Mom

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Well, this week has been an emotional week! It was the last week of school. The Girl finished her 6th grade year. Here, 6th grade is the mast year of elementary school. Next year they are shifting to a middle school system so I will be doing the whole move up process next year with the boy. I am not sad but I have ahead tears this week. I am happy for her she has done an amazing job so far in school, socially and academically. She has made it through a bad teachers friends and acquaintances being mean and rude to her, tough standardized testing, dance in the side increasing requirements leaving less time for free time and homework but has finished receiving a Presidential Award and straight As!

I have been super involved moat her school career. I was a stay at home mom for a lot of it and got to volunteer in the classroom so much that the teachers always gave me the “tough kids” in field trip groups because they k e w they could trust me and I could handle it. Some even left me in charge of their classrooms when they had to get stuff done. I have created a very close relationship with the copy machine for the teachers math assignments, one year I got to teach Art once a week because the teacher was so not artistic and they want art, I have read essays and helped correct math assignments. Also I got to read with so many when they were younger in a program called Dynamite Reading. When I was helping in Kindergarten I had to learn how to decipher the writing g that looked similar to a foreign language to figure out who’s paper was who. Now they are all moving up to Jr High. So much change and growth.

Luckily the Girl ended up with some very special friends and they are really graet kids. Low drama, loyal, loving and responsible kids they all are. I hope they stay that way! I hope the Girl continues to find friends like she has now.

I plan to sit down with her this summer and prepare her brain for all things Jr High. All things my mother never did for me. Talk about periods, boys, friend drama, the fact that teenage girls are the meanest thing in the planet and that teenage boys are the horniest and all they probably want is sex…(nit that that ever changes). I want her to be prepared for what is going to happen. I want her to be prepared to come to me as I will always be her friend and confidant when she needs one even when her BFF is unavailable and even though I make her do chores and hold her accountable.i want her to know I am there for her. But that won’t mean that I won’t expect her to be responsible and make good choices. I just want the communication lines open. I am still her parents I will protect her and parent her. Too many parents try to hard to be friends with their kids. I will be there like a friend but she will still get grounded for not doing homework!

This is a big step for our family. I am a very proud momma today. The boy will be in 5th grade next year and will be the first 5th grade class to move up to the Jr High. I can’t believe how fast this time has gone. I know I have a lot to learn as a parent but I would say I am doing pretty good. Both the Girl and the Boy are good kids and I feel like I know what I’m doing. OH SHIT, what did I just say?! Shit is about to hit the fan. Everytime I think I know what I’m doing something changes and throws a hitch in my plan and flow. But oh well, I will be on my toes and I will be ready! The only thing I would change is to take more of it in and not worry so much. So from here in our I am going to try to do just that. Take it all in, it won’t last forever! Teaching moments will happen. I just hope we can get through the rest of these parenting years without ruining our children’s spirit!

I just want them to be happy!
Class of 2022 and 2024!!

#2016