Category Archives: Respect

Kid Stress

24 Wednesday Jan 2018

Posted by in Connection, Live in the Moment, Love Your Kids, Parenting, Planning, Respect, Working Mom

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Today was a stressful day. I had a stressful mommy morning. The boy has been having issues getting going in the mornings. Today, he even got up when his alarm want off, two hours before we leave for school! He struggles with time management and he likes to doddle. I got home from the gym (I go at 5:30am before they are awake) only to find him watching TV when I got home, which is against the rules unless your ready for school you’re not allowed to watch TV. What is it about my son that makes it so he can’t stay on task without someone (me) checking up on him and reminding him we are checking up on him. He got up with his alarm had more than 2 hours then blamed me because I had to sign something for school (a behavior reflection sheet) for him. He did not think about it until the last minute. Then he comes out with his knee pads for wrestling in his hands and not in his back pack. I kind of lost my shit especially after I had been asking him is his backpack ready to go is everything else ready to go? He even had lied earlier when I first came home from the gym about if he had a shower. I was reminding him almost all morning the time we needed to leave and what still needed to be done. To top off the frustration when we got to the school and he got out of the car he didn’t give me the normal hug and kiss he usually does. He just stared me down. I had just yell/lectured at him for the whole drive (which is only about 2 minutes long). It was not a proud moment and I wanted get out of the car and grab him and force him to hug and kiss me and apologize but I just let him go. What do I do to teach him responsibility and respect. Here is my plan:Ok, so here’s my plan 1. I’m going to set a time to leave the house. If he is not ready he does not get a ride to school if he is late to school he won’t get a ride sports to practices after school. 2. In order to get in the car or to leave to go to school he must have a healthy lunch packed and checked by me that it is a balanced complete meal 3. and must take a shower otherwise he will not be considered ready to go 4. No Xbox or TV before school ever….and for the next 2 weeks at all until he is caught up at school (I got notice from his teacher he is behind in his reading) 5. He is being pulled from extra sports. (He will go to his school sport because of eligibility and he needs to run everyday) but Basketball and Baseball privileges are revoked until caught up at school and I get notice from his teacher that it is so. 5. I will not help with morning routine unless asked and if I have time. He needs to don’t all until he learns respect and appreciation 6. We will have a heart to heart to pair down what is really going on worth him and figure out what he wants and how he plans to accomplish all he needs to do 7. Nightly checks that his bedroom is kept organized and that his school bag is ready before he goes to bed at night. 8. Please, thank you, and proper manners including things like holding the door for others, and allowing others to go ahead in line, getting up for elders to give chairs etc will be practiced. This is my plan for now. I need to be more consistent. I feel guilty for part of this maybe I should have been more direct this morning and other mornings because this happens a lot. He is new to the whole Middle School thing so I should be understanding of the transition and realize puberty and hormones may be playing into this. However, I want to teach him to be a responsible, reliable adult. Someone who can stay on task and get themselves ready. He shouldn’t need me as his mom or anyone to help him. If he has help he needs to realize how big it is and be appreciative for that help. He’s learning and so am I! The Girl did all this on her own and it was easy for her. She helps keep me on time for things. I do also feel guilty because he is so much like me! The poor boy has no hope worth me being his mom, but I have learned to deal and he needs to as well! Stay strong Momma’s, we need to instill discipline and respect, reliability responsibility and kindness in kids these days and that is not always the feel good easy thing to do. Fight the good fight this one is important! #SLWC2018

You Need You

01 Tuesday Mar 2016

Posted by in Be You, Do You, Family, Homemaker, Kids, Live in the Moment, Mom Stuff, Respect, Self Care, Working Mom

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Today felt like a very productive day! Happy Tuesday! I had a massage worked on getting some paperwork stuff taken care of and I went grocery shopping! For the first time in a while I went grocery shopping, have planned meals for the week and feel like I can really get this whole working mom thing done!

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The power went out all over town tonight because of the wind and crazy weather here in town. Which kind of thwarted my plans to get some more shit accomplished around the house. I was going to try to get the pantry organized. The house has been clean-ish and I am not super behind on the other chores, laundry is even partially caught up. (Time to get a house cleaner hired tobget the deep cleaning, that I don’t have time for, done.) Thanks to the kids doing the chores of folding clothes when I tell them to. I finally feel like I have a plan and a schedule or at least I am getting stuff done! I am feeling happy about that and after the last few days I have needed a boost!

Sometimes we all just have to put our nose to grind and get our work done. Just getting up from the couch and doing dishes, laundry and cleaning up after meals are cooked and consumed. And sometimes you have to realize when you are doing or expecting too much! I was doing too much before I quit at the bar! I now have more time to get meals done and meals cleaned up (maybe one day the Hubs and/or the kids will help with that) and this week, I even had time to grocery shop for a real week of groceries! My massage schedule is a bit slow this week compared to last week though, so there is a bit of a delicate balance and trade off!

Being a successful mom is hard. Being a working mom is hard. Being both is hard. Knowing how to define “successful mom” is really, impossible. We all have expectations and desires. Those of us with lower self esteem and insecurities and anxiety struggle defining success because we are always trying to be better because we think we are not good enough! We are perfectionists. Well, we are good enough! Our children are breathing, our house isn’t burning down. Our husbands bellies are full and later our vaginas will be! That is success my friends. Try not to over expect things of yourself you are doing so much and that hour you spent watching HGTV or Say Yes To The Dress was well deserved and even more, much needed! We are raising our future, we want our children to have it better than us! Let’s teach our children to be realistic and honest with themselves! We cannot do it all, most of us cannot afford a house nanny that will do everything June Cleaver did and we need energy to help with homework, to clean house, take a shower and fuck our partner at night! We can’t do everything and not feel bitter!

So, don’t over extend yourself, your family needs you! You, need you. Be kind to yourself, always do your best! I promise you are good enough, teach your family that! If they don’t tell you, I guarantee, they know it!
Love yourself!

#Recomitt2016

Working Hard Wrestling

04 Thursday Feb 2016

Posted by in Respect, wrestling

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The boy had another Wrestling match tonight! He has had to battle hard this season! This is his 5 th season Wrestling and he is 10 years old and weighs 58 pounds. It’s tough to find him someone to wrestle. They try to keep him with kids his age, experience level and within 2-3 pounds. The kids he has wrestled the lastvfew years are 8-10 pounds heavier than him. Then he was sick last week and lost 4 pounds. The boy is tough and I think he wrestles like he is heavier than he actually is, but there comes a point where he just runs out of strength! Where he cannot physically do what he wants because his opponent out weighs him or is that much stranger than him.

However, he has kick some butt this season. He has won only about 50% of his matches but has only really been beat once or twice! There were a few tears shed and some really negative talk from the boy the first couple matches. He has said “I sucked!” The Hubs and I have tried to lift him up and encourage him and maybe he has heard but he has finally got to the point where he can go out, wrestle hard and keep his head high even if he doesn’t win.

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Today the guy who he wrestled first is really good. He has always been good and The Boy has a hard time with him but The Boy stepped up. He looked strong and didn’t back down or let it get to his head that he was giving up about 10 pounds and was getting beat by a guy bigger and stronger. The Boy held him to 2 and 0 points in the first and third round in the second the other guy scored 7 points. I was proud that The Boy never once backed down and never let his head down. I was waiting for a Rocky like come back!

The Boy is getting that power through mentality. As much as his inner spirit days I am gonna get creamed he keeps his head uo and gives it all he’s got. He is learning to work hard and leave it all out on the mat! I couldn’t be more proud of him!

Labor of Love, Rant When Disrespected

06 Thursday Aug 2015

Posted by in Football, Respect

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Today I noticed I am running out of time to get shit done for football. I still have to order jerseys Wednesday and I still have gear to get out to the rest of the players who didn’t show up on Saturday. I have been working my ass off and still get Coaches treating me with disrespect. I have spent all day Saturday, all last Tuesday (during the week of my vacation) and many other parts of many days and many full days at the club house organizing gear for players and coaches. I have been at the Clubhouse this week Monday Wednesday and will be there tomorrow at starting at 3:00 when practices don’t even start until 5:45! Today I was there 5:30 until 9:30 putting together coaches gear, and in a planning meeting for opening ceremonies and the jersey selection night event next week.

So, when I have a coach come up for his gear that took me hours today putting together and he tells me it’s wrong and he wants “his balls” that he and another coach came in and organized on last Thursday night! I got so frustrated and angry and want to scream! For one, I did not ask nor want these coaches to do that in the first place. I had other balls on order and we have more teams than they organized balls for not to mention they had the wrong information for the ball size and half the bags were wrong (Which is why I had to reorganize) So tonight another coach and I reorganized the footballs, glad I had help. Then this coach comes up and has to fuck with all of the bags that I had organized just so he could hand pick his footballs. Ugh this is the same coach who left early on the one day I did ask the coaches to be there all day for! So I may have been little cranky or snappy at him but come on, there are 5 footballs in the bag I have for you why the fuck do you need to go and hand pick differents ones!!! I want to go grab that bag and scribble all over the balls (he marked them with his team name last Thursday but didn’t mark all the others) and change them!!

I known for a fact none of these coaches know how much ‘behind the scenes’ time I spend putting this shit together! Some are smart enough to know these things don’t “just happen” the above coach obviously does not. I think it was just really disrespectful and he should just stick to coaching and stop criticizing or telling me to do it differently, the one person who has the most hours into organizing gear so he can coach. I’ll stick to the equioment manager roll and he should go back to coaching 2 hours a night; he obviously couldn’t handle what I do. I have a family and a job and kids and a husband to take care of guess who gets put on the back burner when I am at football for all these hours, just to be disrespected!

OK I should stop the negativity and ranting but seriously I work fucking hard to do this please respect that and don’t talk to me with that “you’re a woman you don’t know” kind of tone!

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I do what I do for football because I love to do it. I enjoy making things better and since I took over equipment manager it is a thousand times better! But honestly there are only a handful of people who know or were even here back then. I know and sometimes I get bitter! But it is for the league, for the kids to be a better community! A labor of love!

OK rant over!

#Everyday2015

Respect…Teach It!

20 Saturday Jun 2015

Posted by in Dance, Family, Parenting, Raising Kids, Respect

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Today is show day! I have posted the last few days about dance! I love dancing and love performing and being on stage. I love watching my kids on stage and in their element! Today is that day we get to do it!

Wait, Hold please this literally just happened as I was starting this post! ~OMG I just asked the Boy to unload the dishwasher as I was starting to write. My plan was to have him unload and then the Girl load the dirty dished that need to be put in the dishwasher. He asked “Can the Girl help me” I said “No! You can do what I asked and not worry about what the Girl is doing!” I am so tired of the kids thinking that it is so painful to do what they are asked when they are asked it’s like they afraid to work and put effort into this house and helping out, especially when they think they are the only ones doing it! Because that’s what I do you know, I only have one kid do work the other gets to play and have no chores they are the favored one! Will they ever realize that it is not all “Mom’s show” I work areal job now (actually two) and even if I didn’t work they could help out! They need to learn to do chores because when they grow up they won’t have me to fall back on to dpi t if they decide not to! They know one day mom will just do it because that is what I do when they don’t it may take a few days but I get tired of asking and tired of the Hub’s complaining about suit not being done so I just say “Fuck It” and do it myself. Today I am home to watch them not do what I asked, so I call them out and then they back talk…. This week I have not been home to watch them or call them out. Surprisingly enough, when I left them alone one day they got more of what I asked done than the day Gramma came and hung out.

Am I asking too much? I don’t think so! I want my kids to respect me and do what I ask the first time! Seriously, this happened right as I was going to write about how happy I am today being show day, so disappointing! Why do my kidsbc6926c20a648243cb20e5a2fc638b4b think that I don’t deserve respect. Is it because I let other people walk all over me. The kids see me feeling bad that I am not perfect around the house so that opens up doubt and they pounce like a sneaky tiger and bam I am caught off guard and usually filled with guilt. They hear the Hub’s complain to me about me not having house work done so, do they think that it is my job and they shouldn’t have to do it? As the mom I am tasked with grocery shopping and cleaning and cooking and organizing the house functions but that doesn’t mean it is all “MY” work! It is my job to make this family flow and sometimes that means me asking my kids or husband to help get tasks accomplished around the house when I can’t get it done. It has nothing to do with me being a slacker! I know I am nothing even close to a slacker! Yes I choose to write sometimes instead of put laundry away but even that doesn’t make me a slacker. There are only so many hours a day and so many days a week! There are 4 people who live here and it takes more than just one, even if she is a super mom, to keep this place running smoothly!

With that said, I need to go put laundry away in my room and get ready for the show tonight! I am super excited for the show I love Dancing (see yesterday’s post) Can’t wait for my moment on stage tonight! Maybe, just maybe, I might be able to sneak back and watch my kids… Probably not hopefully the video gets done fast so I can watch it!!! I miss watching my kids, since I am dancing I also volunteer to help keep the little dancers safe while they are not on stage and their parents can watch them. I miss that part, the watching on my kids on stage part! Oh well! I will sit and watch the video with the kids. I need to try to make it a special event, more on that later! Happy Show Day!

#Everyday2015

Half Crazy

12 Friday Jun 2015

Posted by in Be Present, Reboot, Respect, Running

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So I just picked up my race packet for tomorrow’s half marathon! No 10k option

…so I started writing this waiting for the ferry. I was told I would make the ferry but didn’t. The line I was in didn’t move WTF WASHDOT?! The guy at the booth acted like it was no big deal but it was the next ferry was over an hour and a half later. I had to drive and got home just 15 minutes before that ferry would’ve. I not only missed picking the kids up but was late for my shift at the bar!….
It was a stressful crazy day! I have a race tomorrow I am excited but definitely mess than prepared. The Hubs and I blew up at each other and are obviously stressed I so need my 13 mile run tomorrow to release some stress! Can’t wait for Sunday we have family football fest and can just enjoy the day no rushing back for a schedule.
I need to get back to cuddle time with the hubs and get to bed soon to be ready for the race! Wake up time is 5am!

#Everyday2015

Common Courtesy and Respect Is It Out There?

04 Saturday Apr 2015

Posted by in Be You, Love, Respect

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So last night at the ATM when we were getting cash out to go to our favorite restaurant for breakfast this morning (they only accept cash) The Hubs noticed that someone had hit and run my car. They hit the front fender. No note that said sorry with contact info or even just sorry dude and no info! Who does that? I am sure they know that my car is probably not cheap to fix and is no longer in production so they didn’t want to be responsible for paying for it but come on people! At least leave a note. fuck excusesThere are no paint markings or evidence from the other car and it is on the passenger side front fender so I have no idea what car or when or what parking lot it happened in!

Are people really not that responsible to care enough about other people to say they are sorry? What is wrong with our world? I am not going to get all philosophical or political or religious but seriously isn’t it common courtesy when you bump into someone you say your sorry?

Have we gotten to the place that no one will take into consideration of others feelings? Especially if it could mean costing you to fix it? No consideration for others responsibilities, others possessions. So many people care about their stuff or things or families but could care less about others! Sometimes to my own detriment I care too much about others. I know my husband gets mad at me sometimes for not taking care of me first and worrying about what other people will be affected and not make sure I am the one in the best spot!

If someone says something you don’t agree with do you turn off your ears and don’t listen. Do you get mad and angry that they think differently than you? Do you get mad when someone tells you something that is wrong? Do you argue with them? Do you try to tell them the right information and support your case with facts that you know? Of do you just get pissed and want to settle it with fists? What causes people to be so different? Why can’t we all just get along? Is this why people don’t own up to their mistakes?

I feel like many people need to learn to respect each other. Understand we all have different stories that we are dealing with in life and it is not always easy. Some people are worse off than ourselves and some people are better off than you but that does not give you the right to be rude or jealous or to not own up to what you fucked up! Nor does it give them the excuse to treat you that way either.

When I come into a disagreement with someone, I tend to be the type that just gives it up at a certain point when I realize I am not getting anywhere with those people. I stops talking about the subject when that someone else is wrong or won’t listen to why I think I am right. I don’t care if they know what is right or not, I don’t care if they think I am wrong. At a certain point I know they don’t matter in my life and I just move on. Does this make me too passive? I don’t know, I don’t think it makes my way right or wrong. I pick my battles. I think all of us in this world should do better at picking our battles. This world would be so much more peaceful.

There needs to be a place of mutual respect for everyone. If we don’t have mutual respect for everyone we will never “just get along”. We all need a way to learn to respect each other and agree to disagree sometimes. That doesn’t mean you are wrong it means you respect someone else’s view-point and you can still have a conversation and respect that persons story, it does not necessarily mean you agree with them!

Anyway this is obviously a soap box issue to me! Common CourtMind your own businessesy not just to those you love and know but to everyone, no matter their story and no matter how rude they are to you. Smile at each other, leave a note if you damage someone else property! Don’t steal property or ideas. Agree to disagree don’t be a high pressure sales person of you points of view. Shut up and listen to someone else’s point of view. You don’t have to agree, you may get a better understanding of why they feel that way! Can we please just try to have common courtesy and not be so selfish and rude.

Can everyone think of someone else and how they will be affected before we decide our way is right? Can we respect others beliefs and understand that sometimes others doing what they believe is right does not affect us directly and respect them and let them live their life the way they want to and in turn we get to live our life the way we want to? Is that asking too much, probably but it is a dream of mine that I would like to see happen in my lifetime!

When in doubt have more sex!

#Everyday2015