04 Sunday Feb 2018
Posted in Dance, Dance Like No One is Watching, Do You, Kids, Live in the Moment, Love, Nothing Meaningful, Parenting, Schedule
It is mid dance convention weekend. There has been some stress, but the Girl has danced her heart out and done amazing as have her teammates! The kids are doing an amazing job! I love watching her dance! We we’re there at 7am until 10:30pm I’m spent. I had a great day and will talk about my day more as the week goes on and when I am not so exhausted!
#SLWC2018
26 Sunday Feb 2017
Tags
Faimily, Focus, Give grace!, give yourself grace, Grace, Life is Hard, Live, Love, Make a plan, stick to it
Hello Readers,
I have to confess, I have had a rough go lately. The Hubs and I have been struggling. It’s hard for me to write encouraging posts when I don’t feel so positive it is hard for me to write positive without feeling like a fake. So, with that said, I am feeling more positive, I know that I may be having some sort of depression or anxiety and need to pay attention and not get lost in it. I am going to be going back to counseling on my own and I will be checking in with my GP about some tummy issues I’ve been having, to keep my health a priority and take care of me. As a person, as a mom, as a wife and a health care provider it is hard to serve in your roll if you feel down and ineffective. Like they say it is impossible to serve from an empty vessel.
In my life in the last week I have had some clarity of mind to realize I need to focus on me. Not in a selfish way where you are “more important” than your family, that you are charged with taking care of, but in a way to be the healthiest you so your family can have a healthy mom, healthy wife and your clients can have a healthy provider coming from a place of love and caring. I have been so bogged down with stress in life that I am complaining a lot, offended easily and my brain gets flooded and I get angry easily. So much so that I don’t really recognize myself and then when the hubs and I get into “special moments” I feel like I turn into some monster that is not me! Then it spirals out of control! So I am taking control of me. Part of that is me getting back into blogging here. I want to encourage people who are or have been in my spot. Also it helps me to get my feelings out and helps me to help guide myself in a positive way, not just my readers. Plus entertaining readers with my Hump Day Challenges is a passion of mine that I have missed the last few weeks.
Another part is getting back to my life. I have been working a lot and losing site of what really matters. My work matters but there is a balance that needs to be heeded. A balance of working in my business (doing massage) as well as working on my business (admin stuff like billing and marketing). I love networking for marketing and I have a lot of friends that I network with but that networking time needs to be just that and sometimes the balance of networking and socializing line blurs and loses potency.
So to deter the blurred lines of friend time and networking time I plan to be more active in my life with friends. We all struggle balance with work and fun but it is important to stay in touch with your “people”. You know, the ones who can figure out your drunk text typos and actually answer or support you in those moments! So one part of this gaining balance and getting back to me is scheduling girlfriend time as well as date nights and family nights! All three is important as important as work time.
Another part is planning house work time. This is harder for me because really, who wants to do the bull shit tasks of cooking, cleaning and grocery shopping? Especially after work and taxiing around the kids after a full day of work? But if you ignore it or don’t plan it you end up with those “special moments” with the Hubs that no one really wants! So this next sentence is very important, You must plan with your family! Everyone in the family has a responsibility for how the house runs! The Hubs and I have had some conversations on this and although we haven’t really planned it all out, we have made huge gains in this area. The Hubs has started helping with dishes and putting laundry away. There is much to be said about a person who actually steps up to handle the things that they hate not being done versus just complaining about it! So: MAKE A FAMILY PLAN ABOUT HOW YOUR HOUSE WILL BE RAN AND EVERYONE CONTRIBUTE! Talk about it and follow through.
So to sum up this long post:
Live the life you’ve imagined because remember in your dreams you saw the results not the work that it takes to get there! FOCUS on what is important. Family, friends, lives, and moments are important! Money and dishes and laundry will go away savor moments with your people!!!
#Live2017
18 Sunday Sep 2016
Posted in Be Present, Connection, Schedule, Sex, Sex Love and Washing Clothes
Tags
Always do your best, Communication, Focus on your goals, Good Sex saves marriages, Practice makes perfect, Sex goals, Tell her what you like
I know I have been MIA! I apologize to those who like reading my posts and to my faithful followers. I am really working on getting into a routine to keep my blog up to date and keep inspiring and entertaining people. My goal is to inspire couples to have more sex and to be more connected and to stay together, support each other, and love each other more. It has been about a week and a half since I wrote. The Hubs was gone all last week, I conducted Drill Team tryouts and did the normal stuff I do every week. It was a good busy week. The boy’s football team had a bye this weekend but we all went to the afternoon games this week. It was fun to just watch football and not really be connected to a player. I mean I am connected too all our teams in our league but it was nice to be sort of neutral.
The hubs and I had some catching up on connecting this weekend since he was gone all week. We had a slight little argument when he got home. Not too shocking because we usually do. Whenever one of us leaves or comes back we usually go through a bit of re-connecting and getting back on the same page. It’s normal and usually doesn’t last long but it sucks. It’s from stress and we just take too long to recognize it until we are both arguing and then realize we are making the same argument and the one who lets their ego go first is the one who creates change and stops the argument. We went out for a few drinks had some hot tub time and then some alone adult time.
I really missed him. I have said this before he had some mad skills when it comes to oral sex. It makes me inspired to get better at blow jobs. I have books and have researched but really probably what I need is to practice. I know this sounds weird and maybe a little TMI but oh. my. word. my husband deserves it. When our sex life got really good is when he got really good at oral! So it is my goal and my task to myself to work on this and get better! I love the pleasure I get from him and I only hope I can return the favor. I am sure he is satisfied, I know he is but I just want to accomplish this so I can reciprocate better and more.
So this week’s goals are to get more organized and write more, give more blow jobs and really work on figuring out what he likes and what works for him. And getting in my workout!
So, what are your goals in life right now? We all have to be focused on what we want to accomplish and what we want to get better and sup[ort our selves and our family. If you know of something your partner is working towards, a goal they are trying to accomplish, support them. Notice them when they are trying and give feedback. Don’t pressure them and don’t criticize them when they are not doing the best at achieving the goal. Build them up, I guarantee they know what they are slipping on they need to know someone notices the good things that are working.
#Goals2016
16 Monday May 2016
Tags
don't accept good...go get great, Don't be afraid, expect the best, Go get the best you can, Love yourself, Standards, Take Care of Yourself, work it
I have gotten away from posting and/or writing everyday. I miss it! I want to write more but I am so busy, and other things get in the way. I want to take care of myself better too and the same things get in the way! It is my time! I am Ruby, I am a Mom, I am a Wife, I am a Massage Therapist and many other things. I am a woman who deserves the best from herself and I have not been giving myself the best. It is scary to leave what works and go to the unknown. I know I am better than this, I know I deserve better. I even think I know how to get it. But I am scared and as with every part of my life so far I sabotage and make excuses! STOP IT RUBY! JUST, STOP IT!
I am a dreamer I believe we all deserve the best and we all are worthy but for some reason I accept less, always. Especially when it is me that is responsible for making it happen. It is so easy to stay in the now especially when things are good enough and maybe even better than most. I still sit here wanting the best, wanting more am I really capable? How can I do it? Will it really work? If not then what? Will I lose everything I have worked for so far? Probably not, but possibly. That is always possible. Am I making the best effort all the time? am I always doing my best? Am I always expecting the best or am I always accepting less? I am always accepting less, for me, I can sacrifice. As long as everyone else is happy. My best happiness does not always matter to me. I want everyone else to be happy I want them to have it easy, I will do the harder work to make you happy and hope that you will do the same for me…guess what, they don’t!
So here is my charge to myself, it is time to make the best decision for me. It is time for me to go be great! I know what I have to do. I almost know how to do it. I don’t know how I am going to but I am going to do it! I will be great. My life will be great and I will get what I deserve. I will not shy away from work to get there!
Do you need to do the same? Let’s support each other!
#DoYou2016
07 Saturday May 2016
Posted in Be Present, Be You, Business, Cleaning, Do Your Thing, Love your body, Raising Kids, Running, Schedule
I feel like I am in “THAT” moment when you realize you are working so hard and going in the wrong direction! On so many at forms in life right now! Things are so close to being so great and the bam something shitty happens or something amazing happens which keeps me doing the same dead end shit!!!
It’s time for me to get grounded and focused and take some big risks! What are you holding back on? Let go folks,et loose spread your wings with me and let’s grow!
In the mean time go have sex!!!
#Comitt2016
12 Tuesday Apr 2016
Posted in Be Present, Marriage is hard, Schedule, Working Mom
Tags
Anxiety, I just want to do massage and help people, I love my boss and office assistants, I really do love my job, Office challenges, Stress
I am having a few challenging issues with my work office. I struggle with the boundaries of what is my job as a massage therapist employee and what is the job of the office. Problem is the office is busy and the office staff has a lot on their plate. I don’t think the office assistants understand it either. I don’t have a contract lining out what I am responsible for or what they are responsible for. The worst part about it is that I don’t know how to go about getting all this defined. I know I need to sit down with the Doc and figure it out but that is way easier said than done, for me anyway.
It sounds so simple especially to people who are not me. “Don’t do the office work let the office do it. When things fail they will realize what you are worth and either pay you more or do what they need to. That is not exactly the case. See, in the big picture, the office staff could care less if I see my patient today or tomorrow or ever again for that matter. It does not directly affect them in their life like it does mine. They get paid hourly and don’t get paid less if a bill is denied or a client doesn’t get the authorization that is needed. If I don’t do that massage I lose on average a quarter of my daily income. I have tried to help out at the desk when I am available (something I don’t get paid for). When I ask for them to do office type things to make it easier for me I get push back from them and told that I need to check with them first before I adjust certain things to make my job easier, i.e. charting scanning certain docs in to my files. I feel frustrated and stuck.
So what to do? The Doc has asked me if I wanted to be an independent contractor and pay my own taxes and have it be my business but the commission would stay the same. I don’t think that I am good with that being that the commission I pay inpart is so that I don’t have to report my own taxes and have my own business license and such. If I do that I could potentially have more control and the follow up with insurance companies that I do would be my job to handle anyway. Since I already do that for some patient accounts that the office decides not to do it would solve that problem. Problem being the current commission rate that I make is not enough in my opinion for me to do that. Maybe I am wanting too much. I do think that me taking on more responsibility is worth something more than me being an “employee”.I don’t want to sound like the Doc is not paying me enough or anything I just think what I signed up for when I agreed I had other expectations and maybe that was my bad for that but not having a job description or contract outlining what each party is responsible for was a bad idea.
It’s time to change that. What’s frustrating is that there are so many different ways each contract is written and I have anxiety when it comes to this kind of confrontation. I don’t want him to tell me I am not worth more which is what my biggest fear is. If I say I am but he doesn’t agree do I just submit to him and keep it the way it is? Regardless it would be nice to know what is my job and what is the office staff’s job. If the Doc says that he doesn’t want to pay more at if I have a plan to present to him at least I will know what my job is and then be able to decide what I want to do about it. I hate this part of adult life! The Hubs gives me a hard time and gets frustrated with me to the point of major arguments about how he thinks he is the only one I “stand up” to. He says I cower to everyone else and stand my ground with him. Oh, ifhe only know what I really wanted to say and what the things that I hold back really are.
I feel like I am fighting a losing battle when in reality I am probably just having anxiety about this. I have it made up in my head that it is going to be way worse than what it really is. I am scared to be in a confrontation with the Doc that will turn out with me feeling inadequate and not strong enough and not worthy of what I think I am worthy of. Why do I always feel like this? It is so frustrating! The Hubs’ argument is why would the Doc pay you more or accept your offer to pay him a flat fee for rent when all he is getting out of it is less money? …it’s all made up in my head. I have had this discussion many times and I have been met with no over and over again. I know he (The Doc) and I both want to be on the same page. We both want our practice to be more smooth and run better and have better control over what is happening and know who is doing what and what we are expecting of each other.
I have so many irons in the fire most of which are clients and patients who I see on a regular basis for massage, BNI is another and I am building my own ‘brand’ with my massage business name and identity and new logo. Not to mention my family and household that I am responsible for dinners, dishes and washing clothes. Keeeping my relationship in tact with my husband. Yet I sit here worrying about a conversation that I have to have with my boss who is also my friend and pretty approachable so why is it so hard to do this? ANXIETY!
Anyway time to get to focusing and concentrating on how to define my roll in the office and the first anxiety inducing task and that is to figure out when and where to ask him to meet me and then when and where to meet to discuss this….
#Recommit2016
10 Sunday Apr 2016
Posted in Cleaning, Live in the Moment, Relax, Schedule, Sex, Washing Clothes
Tags
Have more sex to chill, Love your life, Sex makes it easier, slowdown every now and then, Slower life
Happy end of the weekend. Oh sad!
This weekend has been pretty calming and relaxing for the Hubs and I! The kids have been gone with Grandparents since Wednesday. I had a long day at work on Friday but since then it has been very relaxing. We had no schedule this weekend. We went to a detail shop where they had a car show, then drove the new car around to get help break in the engine. We took it easy yesterday. Then today we did some work around the house before the kids got home.
It’s amazing how not having a schedule is so affective on you sense of relaxation. It was very nice to get some stuff done around the house without having to finish in time for {fill in the _____}. The Hubs did some outside yardwork and I worked on some deep cleaning inside. It is nice to get stuff done on your own schedule. It sucks because it has to be done anyway but it is definitely nice to be able to go at my own pace for once. Which my cleaning pace it not very fast but it was nice to make progress! Then when the kids got home they folded clothes and got that task done too, YAY!
This weekend felt very productive, it was but really maybe I have such a positive feeling because the Hubs and I got in some pretty good sex too. We had morning sex both Saturday and Sunday. I know this may be TMI but that is not new for this blog. I know this weekend was productive but it’s not like we have been working and accomplishing a lot everyday just been on chill mode everyday. Maybe it is that euphoric and positive energy that is the byproduct of good sex. Who knows, does it matter? No. I think it is a little bit of both. Oh to have a calmer life and no schedule and be able to be in chill mode all the time…I guess that might be what retirement feels like!
Moral of the story: Have more sex!
#Recommit2016
16 Tuesday Feb 2016
I have pneumonia! It is hard to breath and I have been told I have to oush fluids but it feels so difficult to do so. I am exhausted just sitting here. My back hurts I have a headache probably from the fever. Every time I cough my throat hurts. I am going to make this short because it would be just more of me complaining. I feel like crap! I hope to go to sleep tonight and wake up without all of this! I have antibiotics to take and hopefully they help. I have a full day of massages tomorrow of people who see me twice a week! UGH!!!! So frustrating I have no where to move those appointments! Hopefully I will be able to reschedule and fill next week. I am considering taking the whole week off I don’t know how I’m going to feel?
For now I am going to lay down!
#Everyday2016
Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes | Filed under Family, Mom Stuff, Schedule, Self Care
18 Monday Jan 2016
Posted in Connection, Family, Homemaker, Massage Therapy, Planning, Raising Kids, Schedule, Working Mom
Tags
connections, Dinner as a Family, Dinner at the table, dinner together makes family closer, healthy dinners, healthy family
Happy Monday! Today has been pretty nice. I finally feel like I have a track that I am on and it is the right track. My kids had the day off, the Hubs and I both had to work. The girl had dance rehearsal (gearing up for competition season) and the Boy and the Hubs and I went outside and practice some baseball techniques. I had 3 hour long appointments today and have now started scheduling evening appointments. As I have stated in prior posts I am quitting the night job at the bar and am going “Full Time” at my massage office. Full time for an LMP is 20 hour long appointments a week. My hope is that I will do 5 massages Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays then 2 and 3 or so on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Thursday mornings I will do massage then my BNI meeting at noon and volunteer at school Thursday afternoons. Tuesdays we’ll just see what comes up. I have 5 scheduled already for this Wednesday. After today I feel like it is doable to have the family eat dinners together and create a culture of togetherness with my family.
On the Homefront we will have to kind of adjust our normal dinner plans. Since this school year has started I have not got a routine going. The Girl has to be at dance at 4 M, W, & F and 5 and 5:30 on T and Th. The boy has practice or matches during wrestling season at 6. So my plan for work is I will finish my afternoon appointments by 2:30ish and then start evening appoints around 4:15ish and be done by 7ish. We will shift to the kids having good hardy and healthy snacks before practices and then have late healthy dinners after practices. That just means I have to have them planned out and quick to make so we are eating no later than 8:30 and kids can get into bed. But I want to have family meal time, with the whole family. I want family meal time to be fun and relaxed and a time where we can connect. I also want my kids to get to bed at a decent time as well but healthy dinners have not been happening in this household and my kids are getting to the age that they need good nutrition modeled for them because it is too easy to just grab fast food.
I can do this! These next two weeks are going to be a bit rough doing both working at the bar and expanding my massage schedule. But it feels so much better right now that I know I am not aimlessly going through life to just make money that we have not idea what is going on. I have felt so disconnected lately and I hate that! I want my kids to remember time eating dinner telling stories and eating healthy real whole foods. Not eating whatever was easy to grab and eat in the car. I am going to have to plan and that is tough for me! I really need to make it a priority to have dinners prepped. I have a feeling my crockpot will be coming in handy and/or caseroles that can be thrown in after I get off work before we go pick up the kids. As soon as I figure it out then it will be baseball season and practice schedules will change and it will be a new plan. But you have to work with what you have.
For me family is important. We are busy but I know that we can make this work. It really is only temporary soon, before we know it our kids will be grown and we will wonder what happened to them and how they grew up so fast. I want to participate in their lives so that is why we are making family dinner time a priority. Homework may have to wait some nights and they may have to stay up late or get up early to finish. We will spend more time as a family and that will make us stronger!
I know I can do this it is important to have that connection and with some work we will make it happen and it will be good!
#Everyday2016
06 Sunday Dec 2015
Tags
Being a Home Maker and Working Mom, Life is Hard, Plan to get organized, Stay at Home mom, Working Mom
What a fun day! Today was the tree lighting festival in our town! The Girl’s dance team always performs at it. Their studio is down on the Main Street through downtown and they have giant windows in the front studio. So they perform in their studio and we watch from the sidewalk outside. It’s like watching them in a snow globe. It is a fun performance! So we got to see her dance twice today!
The boy started winter baseball camp this morning too! He was very excited to get up early on a Saturday and go play baseball. He and I were going to do the Jingle Bell 5k but when he was going to baseball it was so rainy be decided he didn’t want to. Which I was glad because I had a late night and a rough morning!
We had the volunteer banquet for Pee Wee Football. It was a lot of fun. It got over at 11 and then we went to one of the coach’s house for an after party. They have a fire pit so we sat around the fire and told stories and laughed…. and drank…
It was a blast but like I said made waking up this morning a bit rough and I needed Alieve! I basically lost my motivation to go running not to mention I needed to clean the house as we are having people over for the game tomorrow. Seahawk’s Party!!!! I used the running time to nap! I know bad excuse but, I needed to take care of myself and not beat myself up about it! I did need some time to relax!
I will get back into running and do races again, soon! Just as soon as I get a handle on life. With work and kids and husband responsibilities it has been rough for me to get a handle on balance and house work and scheduling exercise healthy eating and sometimes even grocery shopping! I was feeling like I almost got a handle on how to be a stay at home mom/homemaker, but still didn’t have it.
And now, I am trying to figure out this whole working mom/homemaker thing and I have no fucking idea!!! I am trying I know I need to make better plans and schedules but when do I have time to plan out and schedule that planning time? One of these days I will get it… Or the kids will graduate or we will retire…it might take me that long!
I just got a breakfast casserole put it in the crock pot for tomorrow’s early game. Now I am going to go snuggle my husband and we have our ritual pregame sex to do and some more cleaning to do and he is sleeping through the F1 race on DVR that we were watching…. Oh well he needs a nap before we get it on!
#Everyday2015
