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Category Archives: Schedule

Volunteerism is Dead and I am out of cares…

02 Tuesday Oct 2018

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Parenting, Planning, Schedule, Self Care, Volunteering

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Care about more than you, HELP OUT!

The world needs dreamers who doI miss having time! When my kids were young I had all the time in the world and rushed everything. Now they are teenagers the Girl is a Freshman, just had her first Homecoming the Boy is 12 in Middle School and is going from School baseball to football practice 3 days a week. The days we don’t have a schedule we are running around filling in the stuff we don’t have time for and still don’t have time to get groceries or cook real food.

The organizations my kids are involved in are all volunteer and it seems the spirit of volunteerism is gone. It seems I am the one who sees that and the one who will do what needs to be done. It’s frustrating to be the only one who care about the organization and then more than that the only one who will actually do the work that needs done. At the sacrifice of my family. I am working for the organization to succeed and thrive and while I am doing that my family struggles. Why? Because I refuse to do a bad job at the work that is done but I feel like the work that is getting done isn’t really the best and get judged by those around (who aren’t doing as much work) that it is disorganized and incomplete. I can’t do it all. Why doesn’t anyone want to help? Why am I the one who has to stay late every night finishing. Why am I the only one who cares? It is so frustrating. Why am I putting this much effort into something my son will only be involved in for one more year? What do I get out of it?

Nothing the answer is nothing. The others in the organization that are not focused on the big picture all they want to do it what is fun and here I am grinding out the hard stuff. I said I would never do this job. It’s too labor intensive it takes me away from my family. The Hubs helps but complains all the way and then we end up exhausted at the end of Saturday instead of celebrating a win and a great game for our son we colapse at 11pm once we finally get home! I am frustrated.

I miss time for me. I miss jumping up in the morning ready to go to the gym. Now I wake up thinking, I should wash the dishes and do laundry before I go. Then I secretly want he grocery store open at 5 am so I can do groceries then and have food in the house and not have to interrupt my schedule of work, volunteering, work and more volunteering. I have cleaning and organizing to do for volunteering job today that didn’t get done at 10:30 pm Saturday when we finished up. My plan was to put a plan in place and have helpers be able to do it without me there. But there is no one willing to do that work. My gut is about to quit and say obviously no one cares so why should I?

It’s about the kids but is it really? I am going to have to do some sole searching on this right now. With the lack of help from the others in the organization to do the tough stuff not just the sit behind a keyboard or text message thread making decisions of who get that kid or the other… All I want is to make sure the kids are safe with gear and  supplies I don’t want to loose my family running the business for the club and that is about how I feel this is going to end. Why is the spirit of volunteerism dead? And why do people pick and choose what they want to do and leave the hard stuff to people like me who actually care about it and will do the work….

#feelingdefeated

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Dance Stress

04 Sunday Feb 2018

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Dance, Dance Like No One is Watching, Do You, Kids, Live in the Moment, Love, Nothing Meaningful, Parenting, Schedule

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Dance Competition, Dance Conventions, Dance it out, professionalism

It is mid dance convention weekend. There has been some stress, but the Girl has danced her heart out and done amazing as have her teammates! The kids are doing an amazing job! I love watching her dance! We we’re there at 7am until 10:30pm I’m spent. I had a great day and will talk about my day more as the week goes on and when I am not so exhausted!

#SLWC2018

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Plan Focus Give Grace

26 Sunday Feb 2017

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Cleaning, Connection, Family, Friends, Homemaker, Live in the Moment, Marriage is work, Organization, Parenting, Planning, Raising Kids, Schedule, Working Mom

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Faimily, Focus, Give grace!, give yourself grace, Grace, Life is Hard, Live, Love, Make a plan, stick to it

Hello Readers,

I have to confess, I have had a rough go lately. The Hubs and I have been struggling. It’s hard for me to write encouraging posts when I don’t feel so positive it is hard for me to write positive without feeling like a fake. So, with that said, I am feeling more positive, I know that I may be having some sort of depression or anxiety and need to pay attention and not get lost in it. I am going to be going back to counseling on my own and I will be checking in with my GP about some tummy issues I’ve been having, to keep my health a priority and take care of me. As a person, as a mom, as a wife and a health care provider it is hard to serve in your roll if you feel down and ineffective. Like they say it is impossible to serve from an empty vessel.

empty-vesselIn my life in the last week I have had some clarity of mind to realize I need to focus on me. Not in a selfish way where you are “more important” than your family, that you are charged with taking care of, but in a way to be the healthiest you so your family can have a healthy mom, healthy wife and your clients can have a healthy provider coming from a place of love and caring. I have been so bogged down with stress in life that I am complaining a lot, offended easily and my brain gets flooded and I get angry easily. So much so that I don’t really recognize myself and then when the hubs and I get into “special moments” I feel like I turn into some monster that is not me! Then it spirals out of control! So I am taking control of me. Part of that is me getting back into blogging here. I want to encourage people who are or have been in my spot. Also it helps me to get my feelings out and helps me to help guide myself in a positive way, not just my readers. Plus entertaining readers with my Hump Day Challenges is a passion of mine that I have missed the last few weeks.

Another part is getting back to my life. I have been working a lot and losing site of what really matters. My work matters but there is a balance that needs to be heeded. A balance of working in my business (doing massage) as well as working on my business (admin stuff like billing and marketing). I love networking for marketing and I have a lot of friends that I network with but that networking time needs to be just that and sometimes the balance of networking and socializing line blurs and loses potency.

So to deter the blurred lines of friend time and networking time I plan to be more active in my life with friends. We all struggle balance with work and fun but it is important to stay in touch with your “people”. You know, the ones who can figure out your drunk text typos and actually answer or support you in those moments! So one part of this gaining balance and getting back to me is scheduling girlfriend time as well as date nights and family nights! All three is important as important as work time.

Another part is planning house work time. This is harder for me because really, who wants to do the bull shit tasks of cooking, cleaning and grocery shopping? Especially after work and taxiing around the kids after a full day of work? But if you ignore it or don’t plan it you end up with those “special moments” with the Hubs that no one really wants! So this next sentence is very important, You must plan with your family! Everyone in the family has a responsibility  for how the house runs! The Hubs and I have had some conversations on this and although we haven’t really planned it all out, we have made huge gains in this area. The Hubs has started helping with dishes and putting laundry away. There is much to be said about a person who actually steps up to handle the things that they hate not being done versus just complaining about it! So: MAKE A FAMILY PLAN ABOUT HOW YOUR HOUSE WILL BE RAN AND EVERYONE CONTRIBUTE! Talk about it and follow through.

So to sum up this long post:

  1. Take care of you if that means going to the doctor, counselor, journaling, exercising, What ever it is, make time!! My plan get back to counseling, exercise everyday (at least cardio), get to doctor about tummy issues, have grace with myself when I am overwhelmed!
  2. Schedule and stick to it you work and admin time in your business! My plan just get it admin and massage time on the books and don’t waiver regardless of the client and their schedule, make my schedule and family time as important as theirs. Balance!
  3. Schedule Date nights, family nights and time with “your people” My plan: Schedule girlfriend time once a month, Date nights weekly and actually go, Family nights or outings weekly
  4. Schedule House work and responsibilities! Everyone has a responsibility to participate it is not all on mom regardless if mom is a working mom stay at home. We need to teach our kids they have to contribute as well as the husbands. Talk about it and make a plan! My Plan: schedule family menu planning meetings, utilize Clicklist with preplanned menus. Give kids chores and follow through with them to do it on schedule before practices and dance.
  5. GIVE GRACE! Let everyone have a little grace with heavy stress load times of homework, busy work days and heavily scheduled tournaments or competitions. Everyone is trying hard to motivate through life! We all want what’s best for our family and ourselves and sometimes we need to take a nap instead of vacuum! As long as we are all doing our best when our family needs help lets lend a helping hand they will do the same for you when you need! Help each other out to get to the goal and enjoy the good moments like the tournament wins and realize sometimes those things come when the house is messy, but when those moments are over and we have down time we can catch up when we need to! As long as there is not mold growing on the dishes and the house isn’t burning down and there is a dance to watch or a game going on…take it in! Enjoy these busy crazy moments building a lives, growing children into adults, growing a business and creating a life! Make it happy!!!

Live the life you’ve imagined because remember in your dreams you saw the results not the work that it takes to get there! FOCUS on what is important. Family, friends, lives, and moments are important! Money and dishes and laundry will go away savor moments with your people!!!

#Live2017

 

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I Want to Be Better

18 Sunday Sep 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Connection, Schedule, Sex, Sex Love and Washing Clothes

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Always do your best, Communication, Focus on your goals, Good Sex saves marriages, Practice makes perfect, Sex goals, Tell her what you like

goals-exciteI know I have been MIA! I apologize to those who like reading my posts and to my faithful followers. I am really working on getting into a routine to keep my blog up to date and keep inspiring and entertaining people. My goal is to inspire couples to have more sex and to be more connected and to stay together, support each other, and love each other more. It has been about a week and a half since I wrote. The Hubs was gone all last week, I conducted Drill Team tryouts and did the normal stuff I do every week. It was a good busy week. The boy’s football team had a bye this weekend but we all went to the afternoon games this week. It was fun to just watch football and not really be connected to a player. I mean I am connected too all our teams in our league but it was nice to be sort of neutral.

The hubs and I had some catching up on connecting this weekend since he was gone all week. We had a slight little argument when he got home. Not too shocking because we usually do. Whenever one of us leaves or comes back we usually go through a bit of re-connecting and getting back on the same page. It’s normal and usually doesn’t last long but it sucks. It’s from stress and we just take too long to recognize it until we are both arguing and then realize we are making the same argument and the one who lets their ego go first is the one who creates change and stops the argument. We went out for a few drinks had some hot tub time and then some alone adult time.

I really missed him. I have said this before he had some mad skills when it comes to oral sex. It makes me inspired to get better at blow jobs. I have books and have researched but really probably what I need is to practice. I know this sounds weird and maybe a little TMI but oh. my. word. my husband deserves it. When our sex life got really good is when he got really good at oral! So it is my goal and my task to myself to work on this and get better! I love the pleasure I get from him and I only hope I can return the favor. I am sure he is satisfied, I know he is but I just want to accomplish this so I can reciprocate better and more.

So this week’s goals are to get more organized and write more, give more blow jobs and really work on figuring out what he likes and what works for him. And getting in my workout!

So, what are your goals in life right now? We all have to be focused on what we want to accomplish and what we want to get better and sup[ort our selves and our family. If you know of something your partner is working towards, a goal they are trying to accomplish, support them. Notice them when they are trying and give feedback. Don’t pressure them and don’t criticize them when they are not doing the best at achieving the goal. Build them up, I guarantee they know what they are slipping on they need to know someone notices the good things that are working.

#Goals2016

 

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Don’t Be Afraid

16 Monday May 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be You, Business, Do You, Don't judge me, Live in the Moment, Live life, Marriage is work, Mom Stuff, Raising Kids, Running, Schedule, Self Care, Take the time to take care of yourself, Volunteering, Working Mom

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don't accept good...go get great, Don't be afraid, expect the best, Go get the best you can, Love yourself, Standards, Take Care of Yourself, work it

I have gotten away from posting and/or writing everyday. I miss it! I want to write more but I am so busy, and other things get in the way. I want to take care of myself better too and the same things get in the way! It is my time! I am Ruby, I am a Mom, I am a Wife, I am a Massage Therapist and many other things. I am a woman who deserves the best from herself and I have not been giving myself the best. It is scary to leave what works and go to the unknown. I know I am better than this, I know I deserve better. I even think I know how to get it. But I am scared and as with every part of my life so far I sabotage and make excuses! STOP IT RUBY! JUST, STOP IT!

Don't be afraidI am a dreamer I believe we all deserve the best and we all are worthy but for some reason I accept less, always. Especially when it is me that is responsible for making it happen. It is so easy to stay in the now especially when things are good enough and maybe even better than most. I still sit here wanting the best, wanting more am I really capable? How can I do it? Will it really work? If not then what? Will I lose everything I have worked for so far? Probably not, but possibly. That is always possible. Am I making the best effort all the time? am I always doing my best? Am I always expecting the best or am I always accepting less? I am always accepting less, for me, I can sacrifice. As long as everyone else is happy. My best happiness does not always matter to me. I want everyone else to be happy I want them to have it easy, I will do the harder work to make you happy and hope that you will do the same for me…guess what, they don’t!

So here is my charge to myself, it is time to make the best decision for me. It is time for me to go be great! I know what I have to do. I almost know how to do it. I don’t know how I am going to but I am going to do it! I will be great. My life will be great and I will get what I deserve. I will not shy away from work to get there!

Do you need to do the same? Let’s support each other!

#DoYou2016

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“THAT” feeling

07 Saturday May 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Be You, Business, Cleaning, Do Your Thing, Love your body, Raising Kids, Running, Schedule

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Do You, Get grounded, I am going to stop being negative tomorrow

image

I feel like I am in “THAT” moment when you realize you are working so hard and going in the wrong direction! On so many at forms in life right now! Things are so close to being so great and the bam something shitty happens or something amazing happens which keeps me doing the same dead end shit!!!

It’s time for me to get grounded and focused and take some big risks!  What are you holding back on? Let go folks,et loose spread your wings with me and let’s grow!

In the mean time go have sex!!!

#Comitt2016

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Anxiety Thief of Peace

12 Tuesday Apr 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Marriage is hard, Schedule, Working Mom

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Anxiety, I just want to do massage and help people, I love my boss and office assistants, I really do love my job, Office challenges, Stress

AnxietyI am having a few challenging issues with my work office. I struggle with the boundaries of what is my job as a massage therapist employee and what is the job of the office. Problem is the office is busy and the office staff has a lot on their plate. I don’t think the office assistants understand it either. I don’t have a contract lining out what I am responsible for or what they are responsible for. The worst part about it is that I don’t know how to go about getting all this defined. I know I need to sit down with the Doc and figure it out but that is way easier said than done, for me anyway.

It sounds so simple especially to people who are not me. “Don’t do the office work let the office do it. When things fail they will realize what you are worth and either pay you more or do what they need to. That is not exactly the case. See, in the big picture, the office staff could care less if I see my patient today or tomorrow or ever again for that matter. It does not directly affect them in their life like it does mine. They get paid hourly and don’t get paid less if a bill is denied or a client doesn’t get the authorization that is needed. If I don’t do that massage I lose on average a quarter of my daily income. I have tried to help out at the desk when I am available (something I don’t get paid for). When I ask for them to do office type things to make it easier for me I get push back from them and told that I need to check with them first before I adjust certain things to make my job easier, i.e. charting scanning certain docs in to my files. I feel frustrated and stuck.

So what to do? The Doc has asked me if I wanted to be an independent contractor and pay my own taxes and have it be my business but the commission would stay the same. I don’t think that I am good with that being that the commission I pay inpart is so that I don’t have to report my own taxes and have my own business license and such. If I do that I could potentially have more control and the follow up with insurance companies that I do would be my job to handle anyway. Since I already do that for some patient accounts that the office decides not to do it would solve that problem. Problem being the current commission rate that I make is not enough in my opinion for me to do that. Maybe I am wanting too much. I do think that me taking on more responsibility is worth something more than me being an “employee”.I don’t want to sound like the Doc is not paying me enough or anything I just think what I signed up for when I agreed I had other expectations and maybe that was my bad for that but not having a job description or contract outlining what each party is responsible for was a bad idea.

It’s time to change that. What’s frustrating is that there are so many different ways each contract is written and I have anxiety when it comes to this kind of confrontation. I don’t want him to tell me I am not worth more which is what my biggest fear is. If I say I am but he doesn’t agree do I just submit to him and keep it the way it is? Regardless it would be nice to know what is my job and what is the office staff’s job. If the Doc says that he doesn’t want to pay more at if I have a plan to present to him at least I will know what my job is and then be able to decide what I want to do about it. I hate this part of adult life! The Hubs gives me a hard time and gets frustrated with me to the point of major arguments about how he thinks he is the only one I “stand up” to. He says I cower to everyone else and stand my ground with him. Oh, ifhe only know what I really wanted to say and what the things that I hold back really are.

I feel like I am fighting a losing battle when in reality I am probably just having anxiety about this. I have it made up in my head that it is going to be way worse than what it really is. I am scared to be in a confrontation with the Doc that will turn out with me feeling inadequate and not strong enough and not worthy of what I think I am worthy of. Why do I always feel like this? It is so frustrating! The Hubs’ argument is why would the Doc pay you more or accept your offer to pay him a flat fee for rent when all he is getting out of it is less money? …it’s all made up in my head. I have had this discussion many times and I have been met with no over and over again. I know he (The Doc) and I both want to be on the same page. We both want our practice to be more smooth and run better and have better control over what is happening and know who is doing what and what we are expecting of each other.

I have so many irons in the fire most of which are clients and patients who I see on a regular basis for massage, BNI is another and I am building my own ‘brand’ with my massage business name and identity and new logo. Not to mention my family and household that I am responsible for dinners, dishes and washing clothes. Keeeping my relationship in tact with my husband. Yet I sit here worrying about a conversation that I have to have with my boss who is also my friend and pretty approachable so why is it so hard to do this? ANXIETY!

Anyway time to get to focusing and concentrating on how to define my roll in the office and the first anxiety inducing task and that is to figure out when and where to ask him to meet me and then when and where to meet to discuss this….

#Recommit2016

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Chill to be Productive

10 Sunday Apr 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Cleaning, Live in the Moment, Relax, Schedule, Sex, Washing Clothes

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Have more sex to chill, Love your life, Sex makes it easier, slowdown every now and then, Slower life

Happy end of the weekend. Oh sad!

less stress more sexThis weekend has been pretty calming and relaxing for the Hubs and I! The kids have been gone with Grandparents since Wednesday. I had a long day at work on Friday but since then it has been very relaxing. We had no schedule this weekend. We went to a detail shop where they had a car show, then drove the new car around to get help break in the engine. We took it easy yesterday. Then today we did some work around the house before the kids got home.

It’s amazing how not having a schedule is so affective on you sense of relaxation. It was very nice to get some stuff done around the house without having to finish in time for {fill in the _____}. The Hubs did some outside yardwork and I worked on some deep cleaning inside. It is nice to get stuff done on your own schedule. It sucks because it has to be done anyway but it is definitely nice to be able to go at my own pace for once. Which my cleaning pace it not very fast but it was nice to make progress! Then when the kids got home they folded clothes and got that task done too, YAY!

This weekend felt very productive, it was but really maybe I have such a positive feeling because the Hubs and I got in some pretty good sex too. We had morning sex both Saturday and Sunday. I know this may be TMI but that is not new for this blog. I know this weekend was productive but it’s not like we have been working and accomplishing a lot everyday just been on chill mode everyday. Maybe it is that euphoric and positive energy that is the byproduct of good sex. Who knows, does it matter? No. I think it is a little bit of both. Oh to have a calmer life and no schedule and be able to be in chill mode all the time…I guess that might be what retirement feels like!

Moral of the story:  Have more sex!

#Recommit2016

 

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Pneumonia

16 Tuesday Feb 2016

Tags

feel shitty, Hate being sick!, Pneumonia, Sick, the Hubs came home to take care of me today

image

I have pneumonia! It is hard to breath and I have been told I have to oush fluids but it feels so difficult to do so. I am exhausted just sitting here. My back hurts I have a headache probably from the fever. Every time I cough my throat hurts. I am going to make this short because it would be just more of me complaining. I feel like crap! I hope to go to sleep tonight and wake up without all of this! I have antibiotics to take and hopefully they help. I have a full day of massages tomorrow of people who see me twice a week! UGH!!!! So frustrating I have no where to move those appointments! Hopefully I will be able to reschedule and fill next week. I am considering taking the whole week off I don’t know how I’m going to feel?

For now I am going to lay down!

#Everyday2016

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Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes | Filed under Family, Mom Stuff, Schedule, Self Care

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Family Connections

18 Monday Jan 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Connection, Family, Homemaker, Massage Therapy, Planning, Raising Kids, Schedule, Working Mom

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connections, Dinner as a Family, Dinner at the table, dinner together makes family closer, healthy dinners, healthy family

Happy Monday! Today has been pretty nice. I finally feel like I have a track that I am on and it is the right track. My kids had the day off, the Hubs and I both had to work. The girl had dance rehearsal (gearing up for competition season) and the Boy and the Hubs and I went outside and practice some baseball techniques. I had 3 hour long appointments today and have now started scheduling evening appointments. As I have stated in prior posts I am quitting the night job at the bar and am going “Full Time” at my massage office. Full time for an LMP is 20 hour long appointments a week. My hope is that I will do 5 massages Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays then 2 and 3 or so on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Thursday mornings I will do massage then my BNI meeting at noon and volunteer at school Thursday afternoons. Tuesdays we’ll just see what comes up. I have 5 scheduled already for this Wednesday. After today I feel like it is doable to have the family eat dinners together and create a culture of togetherness with my family.

Dinner togetherOn the Homefront we will have to kind of adjust our normal dinner plans. Since this school year has started I have not got a routine going. The Girl has to be at dance at 4 M, W, & F and 5 and 5:30 on T and Th. The boy has practice or matches during wrestling season at 6. So my plan for work is I will finish my afternoon appointments by 2:30ish and then start evening appoints around 4:15ish and be done by 7ish. We will shift to the kids having good hardy and healthy snacks before practices and then have late healthy dinners after practices. That just means I have to have them planned out and quick to make so we are eating no later than 8:30 and kids can get into bed. But I want to have family meal time, with the whole family. I want family meal time to be fun and relaxed and a time where we can connect. I also want my kids to get to bed at a decent time as well but healthy dinners have not been happening in this household and my kids are getting to the age that they need good nutrition modeled for them because it is too easy to just grab fast food.

I can do this! These next two weeks are going to be a bit rough doing both working at the bar and expanding my massage schedule. But it feels so much better right now that I know I am not aimlessly going through life to just make money that we have not idea what is going on. I have felt so disconnected lately and I hate that! I want my kids to remember time eating dinner telling stories and eating healthy real whole foods. Not eating whatever was easy to grab and eat in the car. I am going to have to plan and that is tough for me! I really need to make it a priority to have dinners prepped. I have a feeling my crockpot will be coming in handy and/or caseroles that can be thrown in after I get off work before we go pick up the kids. As soon as I figure it out then it will be baseball season and practice schedules will change and it will be a new plan. But you have to work with what you have.

For me family is important. We are busy but I know that we can make this work. It really is only temporary soon, before we know it our kids will be grown and we will wonder what happened to them and how they grew up so fast. I want to participate in their lives so that is why we are making family dinner time a priority. Homework may have to wait some nights and they may have to stay up late or get up early to finish. We will spend more time as a family and that will make us stronger!

I know I can do this it is important to have that connection and with some work we will make it happen and it will be good!

#Everyday2016

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