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Category Archives: Take the time to take care of yourself

New Start, Old Beginning

02 Saturday Mar 2019

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Business, Everyday, Family, Live in the Moment, Marriage, Marriage is hard, Marriage is work, Mom Stuff, Organization, Raising Kids, Sex, Sex Love and Washing Clothes, Take the time to take care of yourself, Washing Clothes, Working Mom

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Blogging, Love, Love yourself, New Beginnings, Writing

I titled today’s entry before I started to write. Normally I write and then pick a title. Today I have decided to start new, but it is an old beginning. I have had this beginning a lot. The I’m tired of fucking it up and want to get back on track. It has been a while since I have sat down to write. I have been busy doing what feels like spinning my wheels. I started blogging back in 2015 as a stay at home mom who was trying to encourage tried and weiry moms that it’s okay to “just be a mom” but shortly into 2015 I went back to work because well, our family needed the financial help and because I wanted to be more than “just a mom”. Sort of felt and still feels a little hypocritical. Old beginning because well, I have been here so many times before.Don't be afraid

I had a mission with this blog to help moms and dads stay in their marriage. At the time the Hubs and I had great sex but a rocky relationship. There were many times we kept our relationship together with just great sex. There was a lot left to be desired in our lives. We had communication issues that we were working on, as many busy parents with busy children have. We were and still are today stretched very thin! Sex was the one thing we could do that we both enjoyed without having to have much discussion and when I decided to have sex everyday in 2015 the Hubs was thrilled at the thought of not having to wonder when the next time he was going to get it. For the most part 2015 worked really well. The first part of 2016 was pretty good to but towards the end of that year it was a struggle. I had decided to move into private practice with my massage career and spent a lot of time working on my business which caused a lot of strain between the Hubs and I. That year ended really badly. I try not to say things are bad but at that time things were bad. I had felt like a fraud like I had wrote this blog all of 2015 and most of 2016 oh how to keep things together and make my marriage work and my plan had failed.  We were falling apart, it was almost the end of us. We decided to stay together, to work through our stuff and then another new old beginning.

Then 2017 went on rebuilding I decided to move my private practice home. The best of both worlds right? Well towards the end of 2017 another event happened that strained our relationship. Different but just as much of a strain and then that was almost the demise of us all of the struggles of 2016 came back in flashbacks and sorrow and just plain struggle. All the while we still maintained weekly date nights and tried to do the best we could with nightly sex and connecting but there were parts of both of us that were just unconnected, bitter and angry. We were also both remorseful for our roles in the fallout. We were sorry we were sad and missed each other like we had been on two separate continents! So decided to put it all behind us and onto another new but old beginning.

Then the start of 2018 we decided once again, we are here for the long haul. There is something to be said for two stubborn people being married and valuing their commitment made to each other! We have stayed our course through many very, oh so bumpy stretch of road the last few years. Maybe it’s maturity and maybe we are finally starting to “get” each other and fully commit to respect and love and cherish each other, it finally feels like we are moving on and getting over some of the same struggles we kept coming back to. Now, here in 2019 we can go weeks without fights. We even can have a spat and let it go with out dragging it on for hours or days and not resulting in the using the “D” word. We don’t have sex everyday but when we do it is good for both of us! I am considering a new #everyday challenge but I don’t want it to become a job again. In 2015 it was good, 2016 it was feeling more like a job and 2017 was just bad and 2018 the theme was “what happened to 2015?” But here in 2019 we are enjoying each other more, respecting each other more, loving each other more and having sex with each other more. Yes 2019 is still young and fresh and new but we are getting back to us! It has taken a while but we are doing well!

So that’s where the New Start, Old Beginning is, maybe it’s not such an old beginning, maybe this one is new it just gets old starting over again. Still the same: I am still working on my weight issues, still trying to decide what to do with my practice. Agonizing everyday if I am making the right parenting decisions and trying to convince the Hubs to get a dog and go house shopping or renovate ours. We have a lot to be happy about there is a lot going on here! As I sit back and look at things, I think why didn’t we just keep going with 2015? We got busy. Life gets crazy. Maybe we even got lazy or went on auto pilot. You can’t just sit back and let life take you where you want to go. Because unless you are driving the car it has a mind of it’s own and this girl wants to drive the direction I want to. The direction that will take my family in the right direction. For me, For the Hubs and for the kids. I am not a fan of this Old Beginning lets have a new beginning, start over on a new path!

One big thing I have struggled with is deciding what makes me tick. What do I want? I have spent so many years taking care of my family as a mom that I don’t even know what I want. I know I was insanely happy in the stroller days of my kids. Being able to load them in the stroller and go for a run. We would go pick up groceries in the stroller my house was not clean and my kids were very giddy and happy all the time. I can’t have those days back but I want that happiness back. Do I need to run more? Not worry about cleaning as much? I have started the Marie Kondu method but I just did my closets but now I’ve got to do my whole house.

So this year I want to find my passion. I love massage but it gives me stress billing and being a business owner, so can that really be my passion? I love to workout and exercise especially running and doing races but that doesn’t make me money to help with finances. I love and miss dancing but finances and time? I love to sing! I have spent more time singing karaoke and not missing the chance to sing than anything, how can I do that more? I miss writing here in my blog! I miss the words flowing really easily (can you tell?)

I told the boy yesterday that he had to decide to work hard when he is in a game. It is a conscious choice you have to make. Get up and grind and work hard but for me I struggle with that. So many different hats that I wear I struggle deciding where to put that effort. Not to mention I have ADD which does not help. This is my goal, this is my passion for this year, to find my passion and live it to the fullest! Doing it all while loving, taking care of and protecting my family. Balancing work life: growing a business, family life: getting everyone where they need to be when they need to be there, feeding them healthy meals and communicating all of that to the Hubs to get help from him and then not forgetting to cultivate our relationship in communication as well as sexualization. I want us to be happy these last few years before the kids leave us and give our kids a happy healthy place to live.

Is it doable? I believe so I will take you along on this journey this year and I will keep writing as this helps me process my thoughts and helps me stay positive. And gives me accountability! There may be things I have to let go of being in control of and getting my way but come with me this year on this journey and watch me win! One way or another!

Oh and by the way I turn 40 this year so there is a sense of urgency to show up and be me and know who “Me” is but not lose my family in the process. This will be no old beginning this is a fresh start to new beginnings, hard work and grind yes but love and laughter and passion to be found in this new beginning. In the process I will not let the hard work wear me down. I will not take the easy way out like I have in all the old beginnings. It’s hard, I won’t stop until I am where I want to be!

#ThisisRuby

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Monday after Vacation

10 Tuesday Apr 2018

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Be You, Relax, Self Care, Take the time to take care of yourself, Working Mom

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Family Vacation!, give yourself grace, hangovers are normal, Marriage takes work!, Self Care, Take the time to take care of yourself

sometimes

Today is Monday after our much needed and very relaxing vacation. Am I the only one who has a weird lull after vacation. I usually plan that Monday off to be able to regroup unpack, do laundry etc. during those days seem to be kind of depressing, the sad reality that you just don’t have that elated vacation feeling like you can do everything and fix all your problems just after one week off. You are met with the real life situation and now have to take action or you realize you thought it out and solved the problem but forgot your biggest road block is…reality. Or maybe you’re like me and decide you will be different. This time you will unpack right away keep the clutter gone and not let things pile up but then you realize you bring a pile with you back from vacation. And as much as the sun lured you into believing you were a changed woman who would relish at the opportunity to be proactive with laundry you come home to realize that it still doesn’t make your heart sing the way that sun on you cheeks and the warmth on your skin did. You realize you are still you…wait is that just me?

Then to top it off for me the Hubs left for a work trip today as well. I do want to admit that I know the reality that if I didn’t live with The Hubs I would either be on TLC’s Hoarders or My 600 Pound Life. The way I treat myself when he is gone is absolutely astounding and disgusting. I let myself eat crap, I let my kids eat crap. I count down the minutes until he leaves to have a donuts or eat a whole large pizza. Today after weighing in last night on my first day of my weight loss challenge I had a chocolate Easter Bunny for breakfast (I told this to my girlfriend and she laughed out loud at me because I said I ate a Easter Bunny for breakfast) She was probably confused because of my low carb diet she probably was laughing out of shear disgust that I may have eaten a real bunny like maybe roadkill cafe style or something. Then I fed the kids Taco Bell for dinner with a side of jelly beans and yes I had that too. I had a list of chores a mile long I got a couple started maybe one done but really it seems like I still have a list a mile and a half long.

I spent a lot of time on Facebook today. Am I bored? Do I need attention? Am I sad or lonely. Yes probably lonely the kids were at school the Hubs is away and I have spent the last week with two or more extra people in the same house with our family. It is quite a change. It’s like a crazy morning after or weird hangover. When the kids used to go to Grandma’s for the weekend when they were little they would come home with these crazy cranky attitudes. I always called it the Grandma Hangover. (One Grandma got pretty offended by that term) I seriously believe in this though and now I think I have the vacation hang over. Not puking from drinking although I had one of those the other day, it’s a weird crazy let down from Vacation!

How to combat this? Well two weeks ago in my therapist’s office I scheduled my next appointment for tomorrow. Thinking the Hubs will be gone it will be after vacation I might need time to process how it went how to proceed with the week (or it may have been her only opening for the next two weeks) but I feel like I kind of need it. When the Hubs is gone I get a lot of time to think. Which I don’t take often enough and that day after vacation I am always filled with thoughts so doing this all at the same time is different for me. One therapist told me one day to allow myself to be me give myself more of what I want and my response was “I don’t even know what I want” I am too busy being wife and mom and make them all happy I don’t think of me.

Dude, you would think I have some really messed up mental health state right? Schizophrenia or maybe BiPolar or even clinical or manic depression but no. I don’t, my message here is that I need a therapist to help me process, and I have no diagnosed condition. I know I a m not alone in this. If left alone I may create some horrible story about why I feel this way. What did my mother or father do to me in childhood that made me like this. What did the hubs say that made me so angry or what did he not say to make me so sad and lonely. That’s called blame and, folks the reality in my uneducated opinion is this is what real life is. You don’t have to be schizo or even clinically depressed or diagnosed with any psychosis to experience some mental health struggles. To get help or even need help with a counselor or a self help book or meditation trainer is not a sign of weakness or breaking down to the mental condition it is taking control and teaching yourself how to handle the mental condition associated with real life.

I am not saying there is no diagnosed psychosis or that a patient can just decide to snap out of it or fix it with out drugs or treatment, what I am suggesting is that this condition we call life sometimes does not need a diagnosis to need treatment. Get that treatment. Go to a counselor or talk to your pastor or a good friend. Don’t self medicate, and don’t beat yourself up internally with your words or worse by hurting yourself or anyone else for that matter! Find what works for you, if you don’t you may push away those you love by blaming them or by just being withdrawn. Go exercise what I didn’t do today. Eat right the brain needs fuel to process emotions in life. Take care of you. One step in self care is to take that vacation another is to get back to taking care of being healthy when you come back from vacation. Sometimes Self care involves mental health counselors, massage therapists to help with your pain or your stress or to just give you an hour of time away. It involves nutrition, exercise and brain work. Don’t be afraid to do it, figure out what it is that you need for your mental health and be your mental health advocate. Always do your best it is okay to take time to figure it out but figure it out, don’t give up!.

I don’t want this to turn political, which it kind of did for a minute we need to take care of our mental health because that is who is taking care of our families and kids. Whatever your role is, your kids need the best mom, dad, brother, sister, uncle, or grandparent that you can be your family deserves the best you! I tell mom’s all the time, don’t you want your family to have the healthiest mom they can have, don’t you think that mom will be better than the tired run down ill taken care of thing you are? Treat yourself the way you want your family to be treated! Take care of you, you owe it to them!

#Selfcare2018

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Getting Going Slow

09 Tuesday Jan 2018

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Be You, Marriage is hard, Marriage is work, New Year, Take the time to take care of yourself

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dismissed ticket, Focus, I was speeding, more tomorrow, Reminders save my life or at least my driving record, Slow start to 2018, Thankful for The Hubs

this is the beginningOkay so here I am Monday evening just now blogging. I really need to work on scheduling writing in before the end of the day. Except today was different slightly here I was I got up took the 5:30 am spin class at the gym. As I was basking in my exercise high dreaming of taking a run after the kids go to school the Hubs texted me “check you court date” I have a court date for a speeding ticket that I got back in November. I contested it as the officer put the wrong license plate number on my ticket. You see I accidentally gave him the registration for our travel trailer instead of the truck. So on the ticket it said “I authorize that I was driving this vehicle license #……” well since I wasn’t driving that license plate number vehicle I could not in good conscious sign that ticket as committing that infraction. I had a whole argument ready about said technicality however I didn’t need it. Apparently when a ticket is contested officers have to file an affidavit stating their case and the proof of how they caught you speeding etc the officer did not file an affidavit so my case was dismissed before I even had to pull out my evidence.

So thanks to the Hubs I am one speeding ticket less on my record and my day to work on the house turned into a half day. My original plan was going to be spin class, writing the a 3 mile run and then cake cabinet organizing. But it turned into driving 2.5 hours and half day to organize and here I am at 11pm blogging. Oh well at least it’s done.

Yesterday the Hubs and Kids and I went to see Star Wars again then went to dinner at a hibachi style restaurant. While we were there we talked New Year’s Resolution. We all stated some of our goals for the year. Some of us are already a day later working on round two of trying again. I have already wrote about my goals but the kids added a fun one we have a plan for one just because” family day a month and they added one chore day a month to do things like washing windows or scrubbing bath tubs. The Girl is the one who picked that and the Boy agreed, The Hubs looked a little scared but was still down. It was nice to have a little family time to talk with all of our phones put away. I am looking forward to more of that in 2018.

I made my bed today (one of my resolutions that the kids laughed at) went to the gym. Am still one higher than the day of the year on sex so today I am at 9 and haven’t even had sex yet. Still have 0 miles running but am looking forward to getting started.

One of the best things about 2018 is The Hubs and I have not had on big fight. Even tonight we had a discussion that got heated but we stayed calm and focused and got through it with out a knock down drag out! He would say it’s because I’m not yelling or I have done something different like having sex every day but really he is getting more patient. He is being more patient and understanding and all he says is that it’s because I have changed…weird. Honestly, it doesn’t matter the fact that we are getting along better having the fun times we have together and not the shitty arguments that showed up in 2017 about once a week is a nice change regardless of why!

Anyway here’s to 2018 and getting moving on the Goals or Resolutions and actually starting the 2018 movement! I will work on my schedule and be here tomorrow!

#Everyday2018

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XXX-Day 206-XXX

08 Wednesday Jun 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Hump Day Challenge, Sex, Take the time to take care of yourself, XXX

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Fever, Horny, Sad and Lonely, Sick, Want My Man Back, Wish He wasn't sick

I have the book 365 Sex Moves by Randi Foxx (you can purchase it through my Amazon Store click on the tab on this page). Today is day 206 and this is our challenge for today. The move is called Get Down. Start with a chair, chair sex is fun, this position you don’t sit traditionally in it. The girl places her thighs on the chair and extends her body towards the ground to her forearms, her

image

lover takes a similar position over her his arms around extended and he enters her from behind. It is a bit of a tricky position and one you may need to experiment with and make sure it wasn’t a heavy bicep day at the gym. If your lover is strong enough or has long enough arms he can support with one hand and play with you free floating tits as he humps you from behind.

I hope you enjoy this one folks. As for me, the Hubs is still sick. And even though it has only been just over one week, I am getting that feeling that we have always taken our health for granted. The Hubs rarely gets sick and never stays sick this long. I think it might be time to take him in if he doesn’t get over this real soon. I hope it is nothing major but tonight the fever spiked up again. Anyway, not to ruin your Hump Day. Go do this challenge and truly appreciate you lover and your health!

#Recommit2016

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Expectations, Anxiety and

02 Thursday Jun 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Connection, Marriage is hard, Self Care, Take the time to take care of yourself

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Birthday sorrows, Communication, Crazy head, Don't be that girl, get over it, Worry

It is the day after my birthday, the hubs came down sick yesterday on my birthday and even stayed home sick today. I hate to admit it and feel bad but this time I got super irritated about it. I mean can’t I just have a special day. I know he didn’t do it on purpose and I normally don’t respond like that.

I feel and I know I sound super selfish. My birthday is never made a big deal about by the Hubs. I learned at 22 that if I want to have a party I have to plan it myself or have a girlfriend do it. At 22 I said to the Hubs, “I don’t care what we do. I want to hang out with our friends and I don’t want to plan it.” The day before, I believe my birthday that year was even on a Friday, he finally called everyone and invited them to get together and hang out. Everyone was busy already so no birthday party for me. So, since then I decided well, I will make the plans myself. Which I have done.

Normally, because of that experience that year, I plan some time for myself to just do me on my birthday. But this year is different. I am a full time working mom . I had 6 appointments at the office The Girl had dance, the Boy had a baseball game, I had my dance class that I take. There was no time, I hadn’t made dinner plans nor had I been to the grocery store in a while so there wasn’t much to even cook at home. When I asked what the plan was for dinner he answered with “well do you want to run through a drive through or something?” I was appalled on my birthday he hasn’t even considered what to do for dinner so I didn’t have to worry about it?! I know I was being unfair. I did not really know how sick he was feeling he seemed fine. Then at home he basically sat down on the couch and crashed. I cleaned, vacuumed the house (so glad I did) did laundry. The Kids helped by making grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner. I was sitting on the couch lonely onme of picking a fight but quickly backed down. He never quickly backs down. I was feeling sad, lonely, anxious. He was feeling sick. He has some digestive  my birthday writing the Hump Day Challenge alone.

Tonight has been similar but it is not my birthday. My husband does not get sick much and it usually takes a lot to get him to not go to work and not want to spend time with me or not want to even have sex. So then I go into crazy head mode. Why doesn’t he want me. Why isn’t he thinking of me? Why doesn’t he understand that all he had to do was not make me make the dinner plan on my birthday. It only takes something small to impress me but it takes something. Is he talking to someone else? Does he not want me anymore? Am I too high maintenance because I want some special treatment or consideration when it’s my birthday?

99%All of those things are my anxiety and what I call Crazy Head Ruby. I am pretty sure I have written about it before. These are the things that women (I am sure men do it too but I would guess many don’t admit it) think when they don’t know what is going on and there is someone acting different. (I do this with my friends too it is not exclusive to the Hubs). It’s anxiety. I wish I could shake it. I tried breathing but I cried over it this morning. We got in a little argument but settled pretty quickly. Is the Hubs learning to get me better and sooner or is he just not caring about me enough to fight? He did accuse stuff going on it comes in waves so he feels fine and then all of a sudden gets the sweats and has to run to the bathroom. Which is why it is so hard for me to know that he was sick.

Bottom line, self care and communication. He should communicate better with me how he is feeling. I want more of a connection with him, like when he decides to stay late after practice with the Boy throwing the ball around vs having to call to make sure they didn’t crash in a ditch somewhere. I want him to understand me I am needy. It sucks sometimes how needy I am, it is what it is! Finally I need to take care of me. I know I am needy. In the future maybe I should just block out my schedule on my birthday so I can do something for myself. A long run, pedicure of get my own massage. That way when the Hubs forgets to even get a card, cake or flowers or make a dinner plan, I can be satisfied that I did have a good birthday, not just another normal day and not affected as much.

I hate crazy head days. One of these days I will figure out how to conquer them. As for now, I will go try to enjoy this alone time by going to bed early-ish. I have a date with my running shoes in the morning (did I mention my running buddy is also sick, yeah, she is so hence the loneliness). Good night all. Take care of you. Make your plans for you and don’t expect others to read your mind. The majority of this frustration is my expectations of the Hubs that are unrealistic and frankly unfair so I have to do better at taking care of me.

#Recomitt2016

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Don’t Be Afraid

16 Monday May 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be You, Business, Do You, Don't judge me, Live in the Moment, Live life, Marriage is work, Mom Stuff, Raising Kids, Running, Schedule, Self Care, Take the time to take care of yourself, Volunteering, Working Mom

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don't accept good...go get great, Don't be afraid, expect the best, Go get the best you can, Love yourself, Standards, Take Care of Yourself, work it

I have gotten away from posting and/or writing everyday. I miss it! I want to write more but I am so busy, and other things get in the way. I want to take care of myself better too and the same things get in the way! It is my time! I am Ruby, I am a Mom, I am a Wife, I am a Massage Therapist and many other things. I am a woman who deserves the best from herself and I have not been giving myself the best. It is scary to leave what works and go to the unknown. I know I am better than this, I know I deserve better. I even think I know how to get it. But I am scared and as with every part of my life so far I sabotage and make excuses! STOP IT RUBY! JUST, STOP IT!

Don't be afraidI am a dreamer I believe we all deserve the best and we all are worthy but for some reason I accept less, always. Especially when it is me that is responsible for making it happen. It is so easy to stay in the now especially when things are good enough and maybe even better than most. I still sit here wanting the best, wanting more am I really capable? How can I do it? Will it really work? If not then what? Will I lose everything I have worked for so far? Probably not, but possibly. That is always possible. Am I making the best effort all the time? am I always doing my best? Am I always expecting the best or am I always accepting less? I am always accepting less, for me, I can sacrifice. As long as everyone else is happy. My best happiness does not always matter to me. I want everyone else to be happy I want them to have it easy, I will do the harder work to make you happy and hope that you will do the same for me…guess what, they don’t!

So here is my charge to myself, it is time to make the best decision for me. It is time for me to go be great! I know what I have to do. I almost know how to do it. I don’t know how I am going to but I am going to do it! I will be great. My life will be great and I will get what I deserve. I will not shy away from work to get there!

Do you need to do the same? Let’s support each other!

#DoYou2016

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You Are Doing Good Keep It Up

22 Tuesday Mar 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Take the time to take care of yourself, Working Mom

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give yourself grace, Love yourself, Self Care, You Are Doing A Good Job, You Define You

image

I wasn’t going to post today. I have been busy and “in the moment” (and by inthe moment I mean I spent the morning procrastinating that I have e to get the house ready for carpet cleaners tomorrow) but the Hubs is snoring before I finished setting the alarm so here’s a quickie! Being a working mom is hard! I have spent years trying to feel OK and reason with myself that being “just a mom” is quite enough! It is a full time job! Someone needs to be there to help the children when even they don’t know they need it, Right?! My stay at home mom brain says “yes it’s a mom’s job and privilege to rescue her babies”

Well, yes and no! Now that I am a working mom I have learned the value and joy and privilege of those moments of being there to pick up the pieces and fix i t all but also the value of the kids learning how to do it when mom’s not their to rescue them is very important as well! I would usually much rather be there for them but I do have to leave to go to work. I agonize over it. Leaving to go to work and be there in time is not putting your work ‘first’ it’s being responsible! I ask myself am I neglecting them, will they be in therapy because I wasn’t there? Can they handle it themselves? What DID they pack in their lunch boxes? And then setimea it comes from them today was when they told me that I needed to go grocery shopping…OK, I might have time Wednesday to do that….

Will any of those things kill them? No. But I want to be there packing their lunches and writing cute lunch notes that I saw on Pinterest (probably procrastinating something important that I only had 5 minutes to do so I was on Pinterest instead) and making invitations to their birthday parties and never missing their birthday lunch…. The list goes on and on, but I also want to the mortgage paid and eventually to get a house on the lake, have season tickets to the Seahawks and not have to remove the children from their activities that costs thousands of dollars either! I want to do it all. But I can’t! No one can!

Now, I know there are working moms who’ve mastered this better than me! I know I could use a time management lesson or two and multitasking and organizational skills, and leta not forget my procrastination gene, but I also know that really, I’m doing pretty damn good! Even when it doesn’t feel like it. Examples are my kids can get themselves ready for school by themselves, they can pack their lunches and have figured out if they screw it up they pay for it in the way they feel. They know (better than I) obviously when to go grocery shopping (can’t wait to give them that chore) and they are learning they can buy me off by doing the dishes and other chores (yes that’s a parenting win!). The Boy doesn’t like to have to go to work with me or having tonhang out with Grandma sometimes, it’s boring. He knows if he does the dishes and the chores I set out for him, he gets to stay at home by himself! They also know when the chore list is too long that it’s time to go be bored at Grandma’s or that they have a great book to read during my evening massages. (I ain’t raising no fools here!)

What I want to say in this blog is that your worth as a mom and/or wife is not defined by the cleanliness of you house, or you perfect make up and clothes or by your salary or your husband’s. You are not defined with how put together your kids are or if their socks match, or even if their pillow case matches their sheets or even if they turn in their homework, it doesn’t make you a bad mom! You worth is defined by you and you alone! Not your husband (he will always want the house cleaner or more sex) Not your children (they will always want you to come to see them at school when you have an important meeting but that time you take off work for a field trip they won’t want to be in your group.) You’re not defined by your parents (don’t get me started) just as your chikdren will not be defined by you! Definitely not by your work (they can say how much they want to pay you but that does not equal your worth) And let’s not forget the scale, it is gravity and who the fuck cares about numbers anyway! (I know we all do but I had to include this, we all do it. Take care of yourself and be healthy and exercise, but don’t be stuck on the number!)

Your worth is defined by you! What’s important to you? Is that where you are putting your energy? If not, make changes! If it is important for you to see your kids grow, take the time off for the school play that they have only one line in, take the day of the field trip off and chaperone. If it is important for you to pay bills…do whatever you have to to get a good job and keep it. If it is important to give your kids a kiss at night, change your schedule at work so you are home by bedtime!

But by all means DO NOT DEFINE YOURSELF BY THE FAILURES YOU MAKE EVERYDAY! You will have a lot of mom fails, like when your kids tell you the household needs groceries and you don’t have time in your schedule for two days. Or the time you got spit up all over your new blouse the day of a presentation to your boss, or when you have to make a mad dash into every room when the carpet cleaners come because you didn’t have time tobget everything picked up! We will have plenty of failures and we will survive, our kids will survive (by the grace of God and alcohol hand wipes) and our husbands will brag to his about what a “bad ass my wife is because she did_______” (which you will have to remind him you heard him brag about it the next time he tells you you need to do it better).

So stop worrying, the simple fact that we worry about it probably means we are good enough and sometimes….Good enough=Supermom!

So wether you are a stay at home mom or a working mom, you got this!!! Define ourselves by being present in Motherhood. Be it with a screaming baby that needs walked up and down the hall at night or the teenage kid out on a date that we are waiting up for knowing they will be home 1 minute before curfew and we have to get up to go in early in the morning… Mom’s, we got this!

#Recommit2016

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Don’t Believe Everything You Think

10 Thursday Dec 2015

Tags

Be Proud of Who You Are, Be You, Do You, Insecurity, Love yourself, You are good enough!

So I chatted with the boss the other day, I did get a bit of a raise and reassurance that my schedule will continue to be full and was told I am still his favorite! So with all the air cleared and knowing that I am a good therapist and  worthy of being a leader of this Massage team, why do I still feel insecure when he posted a picture of the new LMP on Facebook announcing her arrival? I don’t understand where this insecurity is coming from! It is not weird though I am insecure about everything! 

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I am working on that! I try to fake myself through those insecure moments. I get them with the Hubs too! I have to remind myself that I am a good massage therapist, a good wife, a good bartender, and a good mom even on days when I know I really fucked up! You never should doubt yourself, ever! I need to say that to myself “I never should doubt myself” Always do your best. If you are always doing your best even if someone surpasses you you have no need to feel down about yourself! As they say, leave it all on the field, always!!!!

You don’t have to believe everything you think! Just remind yourself of the good stuff and keep yourself in check.

#Eveeyday2015

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Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes | Filed under Massage Therapy, Self Care, Take the time to take care of yourself, Working Mom

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Busy? Keep calm and Meditate

25 Wednesday Nov 2015

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Just Do It, Self Care, Take the time to take care of yourself

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Tags

busy life, Crazy head, Keep Calm, Meditate, Self Care

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This is awesome. I saved it earlier in the day so I could when I got a minute of down time I could post for today’s (Tuesday’s) blog. Well I just got down time. Half the town’s power is out and The Bar’s was not so lots of people came in to order food and be in a place that had lights and heat. It was a steady night we did pretty well. But time for me to go home and get as much sleep as I can before getting up for my massage job, 5 massages tomorrow and then leaving in the camping trailer (that’s not ready to go, and I am not packed) for the Holiday with the In Laws!

It should be fun! Have a good night I hope you all get time to meditate I am going to try to take some time to do that!
..if I ever can figure out how and when!

#Everyday2015

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Sick and No Power

17 Tuesday Nov 2015

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Mom Stuff, Nappping, Self Care, Take the time to take care of yourself, Working Mom

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Tags

Go ahead judge me I deserve it, Man Flu Whiney, Power Outage, Right Nostril dripping, Sick, Sicker than normal

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Today I am still sick. And I am moody and shiny and we have a wonderful storm going on and just lost power! I decided to go ahead and post a few sick memes for today. I found quite a few funny. One I saw didn’t save and can’t find again said “Being sick is like being a superhero with no powers” yep that’s how I feel. Yesterday was a cute cat pic today you get a dog pic! Enjoy my sorrow and I hope at least one of these gives you a laugh. And also stay safe out there, avoid any falling trees and branches please break out the board games its that kind of family night. I will be over here under my blanket wishing I plugged in my phone before the power went out so I could read or scroll through social media… Or wishing I bought real books… Anyway…Get well everyone who is sick and it seems like mother nature might be needing to feel better too!

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I would love to write my captions for each one but I just don’t have the energy or battery life left in my phone and am too tired, sick, and/or lazy to go get my Surface, so yes, I am a bit whiny like a man when sick. I am usually more of a trooper but don’t have the energy! This sucks!

#Everyday2015

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