Category Archives: Working Mom

To drug or not to drug….

11 Sunday Jun 2017

Posted by in Be You, Do You, Don't judge me, Kids, Live in the Moment, Mom Stuff, Parenting, Working Mom

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This video (click to view link) hits home for me! So much shame in my life not as a child but as an adult, I was diagnosed as an adult with ADD! I  feel, I made it through as a child because I am a people pleaser so being a good student and approval from teachers when I did well is what drove me and made me succeed. Thank goodness I am pretty smart and Thank goodness I had great teachers and parents who gave me that approval!!

ADDSince being diagnosed, I have not found a medication that works for me. I kind of have something against taking medication. I don’t really know what, but I just don’t want to admit to myself and everyone else that I have to take medication to be normal! I also think I don’t want to admit there is a normal and that I’m not normal! I kind of hate that word “normal” it is what most “normal” people think is normal and if you have ADD, it is not “normal” for your brain to function as a “normal” person’s brain functions. Your brain does not decipher a hierarchy of things that are important or stay focused on the task at hand or manage time well. A person with ADD has to remind their mind what the task at hand is. We, ADD folks are great at living in the moment! I am a great forgiver! I forgive a lot of times when I probably shouldn’t. I think of something that would be a great idea and I jump on it! If I have time (or if I perceive I have time or if it is really important or interesting or something that I perceive as pressing) I get on it right away, I don’t want to forget about it. Forgetfulness is a big part of ADD. A lot of people see it as a kid who can’t sit still or walk, they always run….it is so much more than that! Do I want my brain to function like “normal”? Won’t that change me? As much as I “hate” myself and they way my brain works, I don’t want “me” to change. See my dilemma?…

I have self medicated with food and sometimes alcohol and thank goodness I have stayed away from illegal drugs, credit to the DARE program for that! But taking the stigma off of “drugs” proven to help ADHD’ers would definitely change my world of shame… So much shame in my life. My son is just like me, forgetful, figgidity, and impulsive….. Not driven as much by people pleasing but then again his dad and I are tough on him so he doesn’t get the praise as much as I did, and he is just like his dad, he is confident almost a little arrogant. He is more solid in what he likes and who he is. It’s not as important to him to impress people the way it was (and still is) to me. I worry about my son turning into me or worse than me. I have a husband who keeps me straight. He pays the bills, I would struggle remembering those things. Will my son be able to do those things that are important. Will my son remember to turn in his homework?… does he need medication? Do I? Will it help? How can I tell? I should get my shit together first before diagnosing or assuming anything about him. ADD is genetic as much as the color of your eyes, of course one of the kids has it but what to do???

So many questions all I know is that, this video hit home. Lot’s of things in my life right now are up in the air and there are a lot of questions in my not so distant future. Lot’s of decisions that can alter my life’s direction. ADD is a big deal to me, it is a big frustration in our lives. Actually our lives are complicated, every parents life is complicated, ADD makes it more difficult. Medication is not for everyone, acceptance is. I have neither for myself and here I am without a mom to drive me to a psychologist like the girl in the video I am an adult now trying to navigate and wanting so badly a mommy to tell me what the right direction is and take me there! I was not diagnosed as having ADD as a 6 year old but right now I feel like it has reduced me to a 6 year old, in that I don’t know what to do, and I can’t function but please don’t treat me like a child!!!

If this is a little disjointed, think of it as a taste of how an ADD brain works…very disjointed distracted and impulsive…..lacking direction sometimes…..wanting so badly to get noticed and get my point across and be understood but lacking the brain function and organization to do so…. and add to that, trying to do it in a short amount of time because of course I didn’t give myself enough time, it was an impulsive moment that I had something to say!

#ADDbrain

Women Are Artists of Balance

08 Wednesday Mar 2017

Posted by in Be Present, Be You, Family, Live in the Moment, Love, Working Mom

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I struggle sometimes with the happiness of each moment that is shrouded with sacrifice in another arena of life but that is what being a woman means to me: You can do anything you want, you can even do everything but you can’t do it all, at the same time, physics and laws of the universe like gravity limit you! That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t relish in your joy of work even when your missing you kids basketball game. And when you’ve blocked yourself out from work to catch a game trust that it will be there for you when you return. 

Surrounded yourself with good support be it a great friend or aunty who can take photos so you don’t miss a shot when you Aube to work. Also, have great employees or coworkers or referral partners that can hold down the fort so you can catch the kids basketball games and such! It is balance my friends and we as women are artists of balance! 

Let’s stop beating ourselves up because of gravity! We can balance the weight of the world on our shoulders, practice your son’s curve ball and nail the new dance hairstyle and have dinner on the table (even if it’s pizza on a paper plate) and still hold the eye of our husbands because fuck him like crazy when it’s time, because we are women who are artists of balance and we do it with a smile! 

Allow yourself to feel the same smile, give yourself grace. You put it on for everyone else because you are an artist, you are a woman! You know what matters, your love, your family, your work, your husband and your house matters, but everything has its time. It’s okay to pick and choose and give yourself grace. It’s okay to give your children a few chores and it’s okay to have dishes in the sink! Be you, love you! Always do your best you know what matters each moment that so focus on that everything else will have its time.

#Art2017

#WomensDay2017

Plan Focus Give Grace

26 Sunday Feb 2017

Posted by in Be Present, Cleaning, Connection, Family, Friends, Homemaker, Live in the Moment, Marriage is work, Organization, Parenting, Planning, Raising Kids, Schedule, Working Mom

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Hello Readers,

I have to confess, I have had a rough go lately. The Hubs and I have been struggling. It’s hard for me to write encouraging posts when I don’t feel so positive it is hard for me to write positive without feeling like a fake. So, with that said, I am feeling more positive, I know that I may be having some sort of depression or anxiety and need to pay attention and not get lost in it. I am going to be going back to counseling on my own and I will be checking in with my GP about some tummy issues I’ve been having, to keep my health a priority and take care of me. As a person, as a mom, as a wife and a health care provider it is hard to serve in your roll if you feel down and ineffective. Like they say it is impossible to serve from an empty vessel.

empty-vesselIn my life in the last week I have had some clarity of mind to realize I need to focus on me. Not in a selfish way where you are “more important” than your family, that you are charged with taking care of, but in a way to be the healthiest you so your family can have a healthy mom, healthy wife and your clients can have a healthy provider coming from a place of love and caring. I have been so bogged down with stress in life that I am complaining a lot, offended easily and my brain gets flooded and I get angry easily. So much so that I don’t really recognize myself and then when the hubs and I get into “special moments” I feel like I turn into some monster that is not me! Then it spirals out of control! So I am taking control of me. Part of that is me getting back into blogging here. I want to encourage people who are or have been in my spot. Also it helps me to get my feelings out and helps me to help guide myself in a positive way, not just my readers. Plus entertaining readers with my Hump Day Challenges is a passion of mine that I have missed the last few weeks.

Another part is getting back to my life. I have been working a lot and losing site of what really matters. My work matters but there is a balance that needs to be heeded. A balance of working in my business (doing massage) as well as working on my business (admin stuff like billing and marketing). I love networking for marketing and I have a lot of friends that I network with but that networking time needs to be just that and sometimes the balance of networking and socializing line blurs and loses potency.

So to deter the blurred lines of friend time and networking time I plan to be more active in my life with friends. We all struggle balance with work and fun but it is important to stay in touch with your “people”. You know, the ones who can figure out your drunk text typos and actually answer or support you in those moments! So one part of this gaining balance and getting back to me is scheduling girlfriend time as well as date nights and family nights! All three is important as important as work time.

Another part is planning house work time. This is harder for me because really, who wants to do the bull shit tasks of cooking, cleaning and grocery shopping? Especially after work and taxiing around the kids after a full day of work? But if you ignore it or don’t plan it you end up with those “special moments” with the Hubs that no one really wants! So this next sentence is very important, You must plan with your family! Everyone in the family has a responsibility  for how the house runs! The Hubs and I have had some conversations on this and although we haven’t really planned it all out, we have made huge gains in this area. The Hubs has started helping with dishes and putting laundry away. There is much to be said about a person who actually steps up to handle the things that they hate not being done versus just complaining about it! So: MAKE A FAMILY PLAN ABOUT HOW YOUR HOUSE WILL BE RAN AND EVERYONE CONTRIBUTE! Talk about it and follow through.

So to sum up this long post:

  1. Take care of you if that means going to the doctor, counselor, journaling, exercising, What ever it is, make time!! My plan get back to counseling, exercise everyday (at least cardio), get to doctor about tummy issues, have grace with myself when I am overwhelmed!
  2. Schedule and stick to it you work and admin time in your business! My plan just get it admin and massage time on the books and don’t waiver regardless of the client and their schedule, make my schedule and family time as important as theirs. Balance!
  3. Schedule Date nights, family nights and time with “your people” My plan: Schedule girlfriend time once a month, Date nights weekly and actually go, Family nights or outings weekly
  4. Schedule House work and responsibilities! Everyone has a responsibility to participate it is not all on mom regardless if mom is a working mom stay at home. We need to teach our kids they have to contribute as well as the husbands. Talk about it and make a plan! My Plan: schedule family menu planning meetings, utilize Clicklist with preplanned menus. Give kids chores and follow through with them to do it on schedule before practices and dance.
  5. GIVE GRACE! Let everyone have a little grace with heavy stress load times of homework, busy work days and heavily scheduled tournaments or competitions. Everyone is trying hard to motivate through life! We all want what’s best for our family and ourselves and sometimes we need to take a nap instead of vacuum! As long as we are all doing our best when our family needs help lets lend a helping hand they will do the same for you when you need! Help each other out to get to the goal and enjoy the good moments like the tournament wins and realize sometimes those things come when the house is messy, but when those moments are over and we have down time we can catch up when we need to! As long as there is not mold growing on the dishes and the house isn’t burning down and there is a dance to watch or a game going on…take it in! Enjoy these busy crazy moments building a lives, growing children into adults, growing a business and creating a life! Make it happy!!!

Live the life you’ve imagined because remember in your dreams you saw the results not the work that it takes to get there! FOCUS on what is important. Family, friends, lives, and moments are important! Money and dishes and laundry will go away savor moments with your people!!!

#Live2017

 

XXX-it is Hump Day!-XXX

01 Thursday Dec 2016

Posted by in Be You, Just Do It, Lock your door!, Love, Sex, Working Mom, XXX

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Hello Hump Day Challengers! Something occurred to me today and I don’t know what to think about it. Since I became a more busy working mom my prudishneas has came out more. When I started this blog I was more forward and unafraid to speak (blog) how I feel and just out it out there in thebficking world to see. Using foul language and coming up with sex challenges just flowed out of my brain and onto the page through my keyboard. Have I exhausted my sexual creativity? Am I destined to be a prude the way I was raised? Or am I a busy tired mom that I created this blog for to combat the tiredness and staleness in a relationship that tends to happen with busy couples? I might be thatast mom but I will not give in and I will note let that business win and ruin my relationship or blog. 

So here is my h ump day challenge. I received the above meme from a friend of mine. She captioned it with tonight is not THAT night for me. I responded with well, it is Hump Day!! 

With all of that in mind, here is my challenge to you. Fight that urge to be tired and stale. Turn off you device that you are reading this, turn off the TV go to bed. Or turn on a sexy movie or pull up some porn for inspiration with your lover and get it on. My plan is to publish this blog, take my clothes off and climb o top of my husband. You could cuddle next to you lover play with yourself under the blanket you are covered up with and put your fingers under his nose he will smell your pussy juices and probably suck your fingers for a taste. Or whisper sweet nothing’s like “let’s get away from the kids and fuck!” However you do it please turn down the noise of busy lives, kids, housework that needs to be done, and go fuck! Fuck untik you both come maybe one or both of you will twice! 

Stop letting”LIFE” get in the way of your sex life! Use today to fick each other! Happy Hump Day!

#Hump2016

Rise Above the Negative

21 Monday Nov 2016

Posted by in Be Present, Be You, Family, Live life, Marriage is work, Mom Stuff, Raising Kids, Self Care, Working Mom

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Hello friends! Last week was rough for me! I am rising above the negativity and coming out of those ashes! I know that we mom’s expect much more out of ourselves than we should. Many times, we expect even more from ourselves than our worst critic. Sadly, sometimes, that critic lives with us and is one that we love most and the one we don’t want to let down. Which is why we are so hard on ourselves. Little does that critic know he or she, his criticism, is what not only drives us and motivates us to do better but also and more likely is what drives us to fall into dark places, kills us on the inside and shakes our confidence. 

So this quick post is to say to you, rise above you mom or sister or whoever is hard on you, magnifying you minor faults, most of all rise above that voice in your head shouting out your major faults! It’s time to realize, we are all worthy of the crown we wear! Yes we all wear a crown! We are all queens of our own universe and we are our best ally! So stop cutting youself short, stop focusing on the negative don’t letting them in your head! Don’t believe everything you think! You are not that bad you are the queen

Try to find a way to shake off their words and negativity and find positive. Call your friend who supports you. Go chat with you brother or dad instead of your unapproving mother. Have girlfriend time (or guy time if your a dude reading this post). Distract yourself away from the negative. Whoever that critical family member is trying to help you be better. But you can’t hear that it’s best to get away to distract yourself away from the negative situation. Read mom blogs like this one to remind yourself that you are normal! We are all normal and we are all queens! Our crowns do t always have jewels sometimes the have gray hair or as a friend of mine states Sparkly hair and sometimes it’s a ponytail thrown up.in a baseball cap! Wear it proud. 

This critical loved one, they have a dark story and tjays where their negativity is coming from there. They probably need support and positivity in their life as well but you focus on you. They are not ready to focus on themselves maybe they don’t know how. Let them be. Share only love that is the only way to break the cycle, get yourself the loving support that you need and love your loved ones back. Break the cycle of negativity and Rise above!

You don’t have an alien living in your house, you doing just fine! You are the queen, keep it up! 

#Rise2016

Put Energy In Things That Move You Closer To Your Goals

21 Sunday Aug 2016

Posted by in Be You, Business, Do Your Thing, Live in the Moment, Live life, Planning, Working Mom

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Stress-management-photoI really miss blogging everyday. I really hope to get back to it. However, I really want my blog to be quality. To be inspirational, educational, funny and have less typos. However, when I write many times I am distracted and have a lot going on. That’s what happens as a working mom. I lack good boundaries to set strict rules for myself and my family about when they can get my attention and when I put my attention into different things than just my blog. I have started a business and that has taken a lot more energy and effort and my time than I originally had planned for. I know it is going to be great but it needs a lot of energy and I have to make it a priority. I should make a priority to set a better schedule and get all of my tasks in. Sometimes, I just sit and do nothing or watch mindless TV shows to just relax. Everyone needs that, yes, everyone does!

I am working to help you my readers to be better at being present in your life. That is a goal I have to inspire you and encourage you and myself to be present. Whatever it is that you are trying to do do it big, do it well and do it with love! I am not the best example of how to do that, but I know you can do it. Do your best, love with all your heart. Have perspective and put your energy in the areas of your life that you want to flourish! A good place to start with that is to have a schedule, make lists, prioritize well and get help!

One big thing you need, this deserves it’s own paragraph is self awareness. Know what you want. Have a vision and be clear. Write it down if you need to. When you are feeling overwhelmed take a minute to step back and evaluate where you are and where you want to be. Are you on a path that is getting you closer to where you want to be or are you putting too much energy into things or places that don’t matter! Really be intentional in everything you do and you will get closer to where you want to go. Eliminate things that don’t help you get there. Those moments you say “yes” when you know you should say “no” take a minute and think, will this help me in the areas of my life I need to keep moving forward? Will this help accomplish my goals? If not then respectfully say “no”. There are sometimes we do have to sacrifice for our children or our spouse or family and do those things  but make it meaningful. If you cannot do it full out and with a good spirit say no anyway! Always do everything with your best energy and intention. You will be rewarded for that, in some way shape or form. I believe that to be so.

I will work on this as I muddle through this first month of owning my own business. I will work through getting myself organized, scheduling things in my life so I can not be buried in my business but also not make my business a charity and make money and pay myself with it. I will work on all of this. I will make lists, schedule groceries and cleaning. I already have put on my schedule my “business accounting/billing/office work” time for Tuesday mornings. Grocery shopping is after that and cleaning will need a time too. I will be working Monday and Friday evenings and probably Tuesdays as well, I haven’t got that nailed down as I have an onsite job that I do and I need to make sure that day is nailed down first. I will commit to continuing to write a Hump Day Challenge every week and I will try to include at least two more posts every week. So you should see at least three blog posts a week from me, sometimes more when I have a moment.

So there you have it. There is the start to my list and my commitment to you readers. I love this blog, I love writing. I love my family and husband and kids and my business. I have to give myself some realistic expectations of how to accomplish happiness and balance. Keep reading and feel free to comment and interact with me if you like. Continue to be positive and open minded and keep having sex as much as you can! Go forth and Sex, Love and Washing Clothes with me!

#Plan2016

OH MY WORD!

04 Thursday Aug 2016

Posted by in Business, Football, Organization, Planning, Working Mom

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FUCK!!!!  I forgot to write my Hump Day Challenge yesterday! I really need to get everything situated and settled and organized so I can get back to blogging everyday!

What if I flyI wish I was more organized! I wish I knew what I was doing! I wish I had time to do all this before I opened!

Well, that’s all I have time for today!!!! Well, I could go on but…nope gotta go! So much to do between starting this whole “My own business” thing and week one of Football…. Oh my goodness I promise tomorrow I will put in more time and give a good part of me in my blog and I will post random Hump Day Challenges on non “Hump  Days”

Hope you all are well and enjoying your summer! Love you all!

#OMG2016

XXX-Just Go Have Sex-XXX

28 Thursday Jul 2016

Posted by in Be You, Hump Day Challenge, Sex, Sex Love and Washing Clothes, Volunteering, Working Mom, XXX

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women-should-be-obscene-and-not-heard-14Hello! Happy Hump Day!!! It is 11:45pm on this hump day! It has been a crazy busy week. I have been moving my massage practice and starting my own private practice so that entails a lot of paperwork, filings, fees, phone calls and faxes just a lot of work! Then this Saturday is gear check out for peewee football. It is my big day as the equipment manger and there is a lot to get ready and to make ready for that before Saturday. All in all I feel like I have done an okay job balancing all of my different tasks that I need to get done and things I need to do so far. But it has left little room for my write a hump day challenge!

So for todays hump day challenge I am going to just say go get you some! Just fuck and be happy! Girl on top, boy on top, oral, kissing making out heavy petting all of the fun stuff include that like you are back in college. Just get close get naked and let nature take over. Don’t push anything! I personally need a low pressure good sex high intensity orgasm type sexual experience. I am so in need of one of those kinds of attitude adjustments! It’s time to go!

#Recommit2016

Breaking Free

25 Monday Jul 2016

Posted by in Be Present, Be You, Business, Massage Therapy, Working Mom

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FutureSo it has been a long week. I haven’t wrote since last Tuesday! Last week I spoke of things that happened that I didn’t want to talk about yet. Well then more things happened and happened so fast that I didn’t have time to stop and write. I have been overwhelmed this last week. the weekend previous to last Tuesday (the last time I blogged) I had looked at a new office to rent for my massage office. I have been contemplating private practice for a long time. I heard about this space available and decided to talk to the owner and then looked at it two weekends ago. I decided by Tuesday that I would talk to my boss and tell him I found a place. If he made an offer for me to rent the space I was in I would consider it but I was pretty sure I was done dealing with scheduling issues, done paying too much for rent on uncapped commissions and ready to have my own office.

Well I put in notice on Wednessday. I had decided I could wait until August 10 or so to stay at the chiropractic office to help out since the other massage therapist in our office just gave notice that she was leaving end of July. The Dr however decided that he didn’t want me to stay and help out he wanted me to leave. He said “Friday will be you last day” he must have thought I was a threat or something and the other massage therapist was not! I was kind of insulted but ok I guess I have work to do! Since then it has been a crazy busy time full of crazy unpredictable and un-understandable emotions. I went from feeling sad for leaving to feeling relieved to feeling angry that I have let the disrespect last so long! I was feeling not good enough, held back and stuck where I was at. I knew I was going to a better place but was scared and overwhelmed with too much to do in too little time. That made me emotional and the Hubs and I got in two arguments because he was frustrated he couldn’t understand me, well, neither could I! He is a typical guy who likes to and thrives on fixing things and when he can’t be a fixer he doesn’t know what to do and gets frustrated.

I was overwhelmed, I didn’t know how to feel or what to think. I was caught up in my head and couldn’t get focused. Once I got focused on working on my new office which happened this weekend when we started painting the new space and getting it ready it was invigorating, and inspiring. Then I was mad I spent so much time fretting about leaving the old place.

Today was my first day in my new office. I had 3 appointments most of my clients have chosen to keep the already scheduled appointments at my new place. So I am officially in private practice! I am renting space from another massage therapist working in an office of 4 therapists. I got to paint my own office, change out electrical outlets and pick out curtains and  decorate. I need to buy a new table soon, I need a chair for clients to sit while they change, I need a mirror (I found one that matches my curtains and will work well but it is $70 and I am running low on funds considering that I have to pay rent! I am excited and feeling free! I have 7 more massages until I cover rent and massage related expenses! I am feeling hopeful and ready to take on this challenge and I am happy to be living my dream live and in person!

It was sad-ish to leave. It was emotional, hard, confusing because I wanted to go but I am looking forward to this new adventure. I was scared to break out of my comfort zone. I am still scared but I know it is good. Good things come from breaking free from fear and breaking out and being bold! I will not stop until I have gotten to where I want to be and I will be happy. I will provide for my family and live in abundance! I am happy to stretch my comfort zone, no, I am happy to leave my comfort zone! I want to, but it is hard and it will hurt but it will be worth it!

#Recommit2016

Moving On Up

17 Friday Jun 2016

Posted by in Be Present, Family, Kids, Mom Stuff, Parenting, Raising Kids, Volunteering, Working Mom

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Well, this week has been an emotional week! It was the last week of school. The Girl finished her 6th grade year. Here, 6th grade is the mast year of elementary school. Next year they are shifting to a middle school system so I will be doing the whole move up process next year with the boy. I am not sad but I have ahead tears this week. I am happy for her she has done an amazing job so far in school, socially and academically. She has made it through a bad teachers friends and acquaintances being mean and rude to her, tough standardized testing, dance in the side increasing requirements leaving less time for free time and homework but has finished receiving a Presidential Award and straight As!

I have been super involved moat her school career. I was a stay at home mom for a lot of it and got to volunteer in the classroom so much that the teachers always gave me the “tough kids” in field trip groups because they k e w they could trust me and I could handle it. Some even left me in charge of their classrooms when they had to get stuff done. I have created a very close relationship with the copy machine for the teachers math assignments, one year I got to teach Art once a week because the teacher was so not artistic and they want art, I have read essays and helped correct math assignments. Also I got to read with so many when they were younger in a program called Dynamite Reading. When I was helping in Kindergarten I had to learn how to decipher the writing g that looked similar to a foreign language to figure out who’s paper was who. Now they are all moving up to Jr High. So much change and growth.

Luckily the Girl ended up with some very special friends and they are really graet kids. Low drama, loyal, loving and responsible kids they all are. I hope they stay that way! I hope the Girl continues to find friends like she has now.

I plan to sit down with her this summer and prepare her brain for all things Jr High. All things my mother never did for me. Talk about periods, boys, friend drama, the fact that teenage girls are the meanest thing in the planet and that teenage boys are the horniest and all they probably want is sex…(nit that that ever changes). I want her to be prepared for what is going to happen. I want her to be prepared to come to me as I will always be her friend and confidant when she needs one even when her BFF is unavailable and even though I make her do chores and hold her accountable.i want her to know I am there for her. But that won’t mean that I won’t expect her to be responsible and make good choices. I just want the communication lines open. I am still her parents I will protect her and parent her. Too many parents try to hard to be friends with their kids. I will be there like a friend but she will still get grounded for not doing homework!

This is a big step for our family. I am a very proud momma today. The boy will be in 5th grade next year and will be the first 5th grade class to move up to the Jr High. I can’t believe how fast this time has gone. I know I have a lot to learn as a parent but I would say I am doing pretty good. Both the Girl and the Boy are good kids and I feel like I know what I’m doing. OH SHIT, what did I just say?! Shit is about to hit the fan. Everytime I think I know what I’m doing something changes and throws a hitch in my plan and flow. But oh well, I will be on my toes and I will be ready! The only thing I would change is to take more of it in and not worry so much. So from here in our I am going to try to do just that. Take it all in, it won’t last forever! Teaching moments will happen. I just hope we can get through the rest of these parenting years without ruining our children’s spirit!

I just want them to be happy!
Class of 2022 and 2024!!

#2016