Monday after Vacation


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Today is Monday after our much needed and very relaxing vacation. Am I the only one who has a weird lull after vacation. I usually plan that Monday off to be able to regroup unpack, do laundry etc. during those days seem to be kind of depressing, the sad reality that you just don’t have that elated vacation feeling like you can do everything and fix all your problems just after one week off. You are met with the real life situation and now have to take action or you realize you thought it out and solved the problem but forgot your biggest road block is…reality. Or maybe you’re like me and decide you will be different. This time you will unpack right away keep the clutter gone and not let things pile up but then you realize you bring a pile with you back from vacation. And as much as the sun lured you into believing you were a changed woman who would relish at the opportunity to be proactive with laundry you come home to realize that it still doesn’t make your heart sing the way that sun on you cheeks and the warmth on your skin did. You realize you are still you…wait is that just me?

Then to top it off for me the Hubs left for a work trip today as well. I do want to admit that I know the reality that if I didn’t live with The Hubs I would either be on TLC’s Hoarders or My 600 Pound Life. The way I treat myself when he is gone is absolutely astounding and disgusting. I let myself eat crap, I let my kids eat crap. I count down the minutes until he leaves to have a donuts or eat a whole large pizza. Today after weighing in last night on my first day of my weight loss challenge I had a chocolate Easter Bunny for breakfast (I told this to my girlfriend and she laughed out loud at me because I said I ate a Easter Bunny for breakfast) She was probably confused because of my low carb diet she probably was laughing out of shear disgust that I may have eaten a real bunny like maybe roadkill cafe style or something. Then I fed the kids Taco Bell for dinner with a side of jelly beans and yes I had that too. I had a list of chores a mile long I got a couple started maybe one done but really it seems like I still have a list a mile and a half long.

I spent a lot of time on Facebook today. Am I bored? Do I need attention? Am I sad or lonely. Yes probably lonely the kids were at school the Hubs is away and I have spent the last week with two or more extra people in the same house with our family. It is quite a change. It’s like a crazy morning after or weird hangover. When the kids used to go to Grandma’s for the weekend when they were little they would come home with these crazy cranky attitudes. I always called it the Grandma Hangover. (One Grandma got pretty offended by that term) I seriously believe in this though and now I think I have the vacation hang over. Not puking from drinking although I had one of those the other day, it’s a weird crazy let down from Vacation!

How to combat this? Well two weeks ago in my therapist’s office I scheduled my next appointment for tomorrow. Thinking the Hubs will be gone it will be after vacation I might need time to process how it went how to proceed with the week (or it may have been her only opening for the next two weeks) but I feel like I kind of need it. When the Hubs is gone I get a lot of time to think. Which I don’t take often enough and that day after vacation I am always filled with thoughts so doing this all at the same time is different for me. One therapist told me one day to allow myself to be me give myself more of what I want and my response was “I don’t even know what I want” I am too busy being wife and mom and make them all happy I don’t think of me.

Dude, you would think I have some really messed up mental health state right? Schizophrenia or maybe BiPolar or even clinical or manic depression but no. I don’t, my message here is that I need a therapist to help me process, and I have no diagnosed condition. I know I a m not alone in this. If left alone I may create some horrible story about why I feel this way. What did my mother or father do to me in childhood that made me like this. What did the hubs say that made me so angry or what did he not say to make me so sad and lonely. That’s called blame and, folks the reality in my uneducated opinion is this is what real life is. You don’t have to be schizo or even clinically depressed or diagnosed with any psychosis to experience some mental health struggles. To get help or even need help with a counselor or a self help book or meditation trainer is not a sign of weakness or breaking down to the mental condition it is taking control and teaching yourself how to handle the mental condition associated with real life.

I am not saying there is no diagnosed psychosis or that a patient can just decide to snap out of it or fix it with out drugs or treatment, what I am suggesting is that this condition we call life sometimes does not need a diagnosis to need treatment. Get that treatment. Go to a counselor or talk to your pastor or a good friend. Don’t self medicate, and don’t beat yourself up internally with your words or worse by hurting yourself or anyone else for that matter! Find what works for you, if you don’t you may push away those you love by blaming them or by just being withdrawn. Go exercise what I didn’t do today. Eat right the brain needs fuel to process emotions in life. Take care of you. One step in self care is to take that vacation another is to get back to taking care of being healthy when you come back from vacation. Sometimes Self care involves mental health counselors, massage therapists to help with your pain or your stress or to just give you an hour of time away. It involves nutrition, exercise and brain work. Don’t be afraid to do it, figure out what it is that you need for your mental health and be your mental health advocate. Always do your best it is okay to take time to figure it out but figure it out, don’t give up!.

I don’t want this to turn political, which it kind of did for a minute we need to take care of our mental health because that is who is taking care of our families and kids. Whatever your role is, your kids need the best mom, dad, brother, sister, uncle, or grandparent that you can be your family deserves the best you! I tell mom’s all the time, don’t you want your family to have the healthiest mom they can have, don’t you think that mom will be better than the tired run down ill taken care of thing you are? Treat yourself the way you want your family to be treated! Take care of you, you owe it to them!


Take the time off!

Vacation gives you perspective of why you work so hard! You work hard to have the best life with those you love the most!

It’s day 6 of vacation for the Earl family! It has been so nice. Escaping reality is always good! The Hubs had been quite stressed befor we left! He needed to get away, we all did. Sometimes you get so burried with bills and work and time that you don’t have time to breathe and you can’t see the reasons why you do what you do. What’s the freaking point? When all I have to do is get up tomorrow morning and go to work then take care of what seems like an ungrateful family? To go to bed so tired and have “nothing” to show for the work I put in for the day. Sometimes adulting and life can get depressing. Especially if you don’t take time out and enjoy it. Sure, when you take that time off, you may end up with less money in the bank or a bigger credit card balance but how you feel matters more. Making memories with your family remembering that you like spending time with them. I promise you do!

My message is, yes life really sucks sometimes. The grind the lack of appreciation especially from your kids that you go through everyday! I promise, it’s worth it. You work to live and part of living costs the money that you make working but that’s why you work. Your bank account will not matter when sitting on your death bed or when you watch your daughter drive off to college.

Don’t miss the opportunity to enjoy the life you are making for your kids. This is how you appreciate your family, you spend time!

Be grateful, not every moment is promised! Be responsible, pay your bills, but don’t forget to budget time and money to enjoy your life that you are working so hard for!

I am so appreciative of the hubs who takes care of the adult things so I can dream and plan these forced times for him to take time to enjoy. Yes, sometimes I have to force him to take time out of being an adult! These moments we remind each other that we balance each other. That’s why we were attracted to each other in the first place. I love having the moments with my family!


Much Needed Vacation Update

Hello from vacation! I want to get back to blogging and maybe vacation is the best time to get back into it. Problem is, writing takes time! Good writivacationsng takes more time and editing, even more. I want to write more. I also want to work out more and I want to spend more quality time with family. How do I get that balance in my life? Who the fuck knows! So many topics in my head that I want to write about, but not enough time.

Anyway, it is Monday of vacation, we have until Friday! So 4 more days here. We really needed a break from reality. Being at the in-laws house is a nice way to escape adulthood. Hopefully it will recharge us enough to accomplish some much needed relaxation and energy to rehab our lives, relationships and psyche in general. So far so good. It’s nice to be less on edge, we were getting to the point that everything was an emotional break down and it only took something small to open up a great big fight!

I am going back to vacay right now. I am hoping to gather as much good juju in my life and love and family. We really needed it! It’s time to be honest with ourselves and take time for ourselves and be grateful for what we have. I love my family and love my life and am happy to have the opportunity for all of us to enjoy each other!


XXX-Steak and BJ Day!


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steak and bj dayToday is the perfect day to get back here to start Hump Day Challenges again. Maybe tomorrow I will post a life update so you all can know where I’ve been and what I am thinking. But today is National Steak and Blow Job Day. Which basically was a male joke gone viral but hey, this is Sex Love and Washing clothes and it’s Wednesday and my sexual creativity lately has been lacking so here we go! Apparently some guys are all bitter over spending money for Valentines Day a month ago so they created this cute ‘holiday’. Ok, I’m down, I’ll play!

Today’s Hump Day Challenge is a Blow Job or Cunnilingus for the ladies. There is no slang for Cunnilingus for the ladies when I hear Blow Job however I think of Cunnilingus as the a blow job too, it is a female version. However I don’t think of cunnilingus as as much of a job as Fellatio… anyway digression! Women can get Blow Jobs too!

Give your lover oral sex! For the sake of this hump day challenge Steak is optional but who wants to miss out on a reason to have steak? Lick, suck and slobber your way to your partners orgasm! Then lay back and allow him to return the favor! Some like raunchy loud and slurpy the louder the dirtier the better. Yet others like to be quiet and pretty but I don’t care just do it and enjoy it! Relax and have fun giving your lover pleasure. Remember this is not just to the Male aspect of Blow Jobs it is to both partners. I am already excited for this one! Go get you some!


Where’d You Go?


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I just received a question if I really decided to quit blogging. I have not. I have considered it. I miss blogging everyday and being free to write about anything I want. I still am free to write about anything but I have placed judgements on myself lately and that has made me censor myself. I don’t like that. I don’t want to censor myself. I love my writing to be open and honest and real. But lately I have censored myself and I hate that I need to relax and just fucking write my feelings, thoughts and encouragement.

To my readers who have been wanting to hear from me, apologies. I will be back. I want to be back better than ever! I am having self esteem issues. I am being super judgemental of my everything. My inner prude is coming out again with my conservative parenting. What happened to my “Fuck It” attitude?

Maybe now I just have too much to lose? Stop fucking judging yourself Ruby!

Maybe if I win the HGTV Dream house tomorrow and don’t need an income it will come back sooner. Maybe if I can learn how to make some money blogging or writing, then I can make it my second job and put in the energy I really should in order to have a successful blog!

Anyway that’s the update in my this here Ruby Earl! I am still here, I have not left you. Just needed some time to rethink and reset…


The Boy Sex Talk

lets talk sexThe boy got a call home from school today. For talking loudly about blow jobs in class! Yes, my 12 year old was talking loudly in a group about blow jobs in class while he and everyone he was talking to we’re supposed to be working on their writing assessments… Which happens to be 80% of his grade! As a mom I am mortified! I am embarrassed! I am pissed that my son doesn’t even know how to hold this conversation in until lunch it keep it quiet! He has had problems with disrespect lately! He has always had a hard time knowing when things are appropriate but I would think by now he would have figured that out!

I have never talked sex with my son. The Hubs said he has been handling the birds and the bees talk… The teacher asked me to have a conversation with him so that he gets the information from a stable knowledgeable adult not another tween friend! OMG I am not ready for this! He was talking about blow jobs what the fuck am supposed to say to my 12 year old about blow jobs. My parents did not talk to me about sex at all. When I was the girls age I still didn’t know what a blow job was! They boy hasn’t even started puberty! I don’t know what the Hubs has said to him. So I am not sure what to do. Which is why I am writing now…to think it through.

My thought is I will have him read me the email that his teacher sent to me first. (The Hubs’ idea, he has great parenting instincts sometimes) That way he can’t skirt around the issue and then that would lead me down a path of honesty and “don’t lie to me” conversation and that will distract from the real issue. I will address the appropriateness of this conversation during class time and in public. I will address the volume of his voice and his cavalier attitude and flat out disrespect for the privacy of this subject.

Then I will open it up for questions that he may have. Then We will talk about sex what I think about sex and his age. How to respect women around the subject of sex. I was dumped by a boy that I would not have sex with when I was in 8th grade! I am too young to be a grandma and that will also come up in the conversation!

Lastly we will talk about respect in general. He is going to have to write me a paper about respect. What respect is. What respect means. What respect looks like. As a parent it is my goal to get my kids to respect me, authority figures, women, and rules. It is not my job to get him to like me. My goal is to teach him what respect is by showing him. He sees the Hubs and I argue a lot. We have made some mistakes in the way we are showing respect.

There are many ways to show respect. Respect your things by taking care of them. Respecting people by being nice, helping when help is needed without complaining etc… respect rules by following them. Respect women by not pushing your sexual self on them. Allowing women to have space and say in any sexual situation even if she changes her mind in the middle of it. Show respect by saying Thank you even when you are given something you didn’t want. Show respect by not talking back to someone. Using soft start ups when you bring up subjects that may be negative or complaints….

There is a lot to this tonight. I have just over an hour as he has a basket ball game tonight that I have to get him to. It needs to be address directly and respectfully. I want to go a little old school and say what my parents said “No sex until your married! DON’T GET AIDS!”  Actually that’s what the church said I added the don’t get AIDS part in my head, I really had not guidance when it came to sex and now sex is awkward to me. It’s getting more awkward now that I have kids I have to talk about sex to! I want to cry! This is too much! God must really think I am a bad ass because he only gives you what you can handle right??? I’m not ready for this. Then I am reminded where I ended up with the way I was brought up and the way the Hubs ended up the way he was brought up. Neither one of our parents talked to us about sex except to say don’t do it. We both have issues on the opposite end of the spectrum me sort of negative and prudish and the Hubs sort of Free for all freakish in his appetite and desires and expectations. We are working to get our sex drives and lives to match up, if only we could talk about sex easier it would be better. Hey maybe this will open up my closed off prudish part of me with the Hubs too….

And just like that I go to OMG I write a blog about Sex Love and Washing Clothes I have not been the best model of what a healthy sex life is not that he can read this my blog is protect 18 and over, I better check that and no one knows my real name….. I did not cause this but if there is misinformation that my son has about sex and what is okay and what is not it’s because I have not taken the time to parent him enough. It’s time to step it up Ruby! Be Bold, be honest, be loving and open and talk with your boy!


p.s. I am considering giving up this blog until they greaduate high school it’s starting to feel weird and I”m wondering if I should censor myself. What happens if they know their mom has a sometimes xrated blog. I know this is judging and it’s separate but…what if….

Feel Good


Happy Titties Tuesday! It is carpet cleaning day at my house! I am not even wearing a titties shirt today but every Tuesday is Titties Tuesday, right? It is for me especially when you are packing around these DDDs…..

Anyway, getting the carpets cleaned today has made me realize that there is a lot of random clutter than needs to be gone through in this house. The house is pretty well put together and organized but small pieces of clutter have piled up around the edges and what great opportunity to get it out of here before putting it back after the carpets are clean!

Today I have spent some time marketing. I did my first Facebook live video! I think I had two viewers which I am okay with since I am super new and not super comfortable with everything yet. It was good. I applied my new makeup told why I was doing this side business and plugged my massage business. I enjoyed the live video. I just talked like there was someone right there next to me watching me put on my make up! A little tutorial while I was doing it as well. It was fun. Next time will be better, I just have to decide how often to do that. The marketing world is moving to video, so it’s time to get comfortable in front of the camera. Now, I just have to figure out how to incorporate video more in my massage business as well.

What are you doing for Titties Tuesday? We are doing a family night movie tonight and then after the movie and bed time for the kids, The Hubs and I will have to make a Titties Tuesday event! Maybe we can go out to our favorite Brewery and grab their Special Brew with Chocolate pairing before they run out. This will be our first date night since Dry January and I have to say, I am looking forward to it. I am hoping for less drama and relaxation from the Hubs.

In general, I am trying to get comfortable with my current existence right now. Massage is super slow so I am trying embracing the homemaker side. (Like getting the carpets cleaned and decluttering.) I was going to bake today but decided to clean up the kitchen first, then realized I didn’t have time to before I have to go get the Girl at school. I have been trying to honor myself and giving myself space to feel my emotions and figure out what it is that I want to do with me. Do I want to be business woman me and run a Private Practice or do I want to run this house. The business needs more attention from me if I am going to do that. I am not good at being a home maker.

Maybe this side business deal is what will work, however I am not a good sales person! I promote women feeling better and self care not a make up product, or any product, same thing with Essential Oils. I love to introduce things to women that might help their lives be healthier or prettier or make them feel better but to close that sale…that’s not me. I just want to make women feel better, have more confidence, love themselves better and in turn love their families better!

That is why I started this blog! The Hubs is right, for me it’s all about Feels. Fortunately, I have a husband who has a job that affords e eh opportunity that I can do that, have a job where I focus on the feels and don’t have to focus on the money. But money would help how can I get a well paying job and worry about the feels and not the logistics of money, sales and recruiting clients?….I will continue doing what I am doing right now, because today for the first time in a long time it feels right today.


Marketing Monday


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Today was a day of marketing! I am struggling in my business. Right now it is slow. I need more business. I don’t need a “full time” schedule but I need more than I am getting.

I am trying a new thing. I am offering a class that I have wanted to offer for a long time! It’s a couples massage class! Well, I have reserved the space and need to fill the room now so it’s time to get the marketing going and fill the class!

I also picked up another side business I am figuring out how to market that. Mostly because I want discounts in the products, I’m cheap!

It’s been a creative marketing Monday! So not too exciting here. I just need to figure out how to make money with this blog, get organized and write better, maybe I would be onto something! Anyway, it’s been a long day, hopefully you will get some content from me one of these days!

Enjoy Monday, go do your work, wash your clothes and have sex!


Superbowl Sunday


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I forgot I haven’t posted yet, so it seems irrelevant but here is Sunday’s post… Unedited too…

Happy Superbowl Day! I am at a dance convention worth the Gurl there has been the same dance studio drama for the last few years and nothing changes. I am frustrated because I said at this time last year that I would go through this again. I had meeting with teachers and studio owners only for the same dance drama to happen again with no changes, actually something’s have gotten worse. If we left the studio last year for a new one we would be settled and established at a new location right now I feel stuck my girl went from being excited about this dance weekend saying, “maybe I will come back next year”, to “this is probably my last year here.” It sucks when you pay for a service and are let down by the said service providers. I really want them to come through but lack of professionalism and disregard for what we as “customers” are paying for is disappointing to say the least. Obviously there are a lot of emotions and subjectivity involved because it involves our children, but flat out lies and disregard for structure is what is so frustrating! Anyway, I don’t want my daughter to lose her love for dance because the people who are supposed to be guiding her are more concerned with their own lives than they are with their business, this is a business trip for them (and the dancers and their families), they seem to be treating it like a vacation.

Anyway today is the happiest day of the year!!!! It is Superbowl!!! I just have to say The Patriots are so fucking good. Annoyingly good! I have always hated the Patriots! The one time I had then in the Superbowl for a win is when they fucking lost! I hate how Tom Brady got the spot from Drew Bledsoe the year Drew was injured and I have hated him ever since. However, I can’t deny how good they have been! I won’t say best of all time because I can’t! I don’t think Tom Brady is Better than Peyton Manning I don’t even want to hear the number of rings argument. How many does Dan Marino have? He is still a Hall of Fame QB but I’m a hater!

I’m going to End this with #GoHawks I am Seahawks fan to the core.


Dance Stress


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It is mid dance convention weekend. There has been some stress, but the Girl has danced her heart out and done amazing as have her teammates! The kids are doing an amazing job! I love watching her dance! We we’re there at 7am until 10:30pm I’m spent. I had a great day and will talk about my day more as the week goes on and when I am not so exhausted!