Women Are Artists of Balance


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I struggle sometimes with the happiness of each moment that is shrouded with sacrifice in another arena of life but that is what being a woman means to me: You can do anything you want, you can even do everything but you can’t do it all, at the same time, physics and laws of the universe like gravity limit you! That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t relish in your joy of work even when your missing you kids basketball game. And when you’ve blocked yourself out from work to catch a game trust that it will be there for you when you return. 

Surrounded yourself with good support be it a great friend or aunty who can take photos so you don’t miss a shot when you Aube to work. Also, have great employees or coworkers or referral partners that can hold down the fort so you can catch the kids basketball games and such! It is balance my friends and we as women are artists of balance! 

Let’s stop beating ourselves up because of gravity! We can balance the weight of the world on our shoulders, practice your son’s curve ball and nail the new dance hairstyle and have dinner on the table (even if it’s pizza on a paper plate) and still hold the eye of our husbands because fuck him like crazy when it’s time, because we are women who are artists of balance and we do it with a smile! 

Allow yourself to feel the same smile, give yourself grace. You put it on for everyone else because you are an artist, you are a woman! You know what matters, your love, your family, your work, your husband and your house matters, but everything has its time. It’s okay to pick and choose and give yourself grace. It’s okay to give your children a few chores and it’s okay to have dishes in the sink! Be you, love you! Always do your best you know what matters each moment that so focus on that everything else will have its time.




40 Days to A Better Connection


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40-day-challengeSo this post was supposed to happen Wednessday! This previous Wedness was Ash Wednessday. Every year Catholics and some others of Christian faith participate in giving something up for Lent. Lent is the time that Jesus spent away praying before he was crucified. (I never “celebrated” Lent my family did not participate so this is all I gather from the outsiders point of view.) So now in the time of Facebook and social media I see posts every year of friends who are giving up social media or chocolate or French fries or some who vow to do something good for themselves. Every year for the last few years I have toyed with the idea to do “Lent” but have never followed through. So this year since I remembered it on a Wednessday I am making it a bit of a hump day challenge! Lent is 40 days Jesus spent 40 days and 40 night praying. It’s about 6 weeks until Easter. 6 weeks is a very biblical time frame if you haven’t figured it out there is more than science around why so many programs to better yourself are 6 weeks long.

So here goes let’s do Lent Sex Love and Washing Clothes style! We are going to break it down here:

Sex: Fuck as much as you can. Everyday if possible but realisticly most of us won’t. So, Do every Hump Day Challenge and have sex as much on the off days as you can! But EVERY DAY sext your lover! Especially if you can’t fuck! Send a dirty picture, maybe it’s your boobs maybe it’s a sexy story you tell or a full on play by play text/sext story! It can be a shot of your naked boobs, your naked pussy or a sexy shot of your cleavage. You go to the bathroom how many times a day? Take your phone at least once and grab an opportunity to take a naked or partially naked picture.

Love: Say “I love you” EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Kiss goodnight, go to bed at the same time, go on dates and/or write love notes! Love notes via text or hand written…BOTH! For some of you this is easy, if it’s not easy I bet you can remember a time when it was. Do you know what will make it easier again? PRACTICE!!! So get to showing love ladies and gents!!! This should be easy it just takes effort and time it really is not hard to say I love you or to write a love note! Take time and write a few when you have a little time and use them under your partners pillow or in their lunch box. When you don’t have time to write on paper…write a text telling them you favorite thing about them!!

Washing Clothes:  This is the tough one! Make a commitment to wash clothes everyday. If this is easy but you and the spouse fight about dishes then make a commitment to do the dishes. Remember when I started this I said “washing clothes” is a metaphor for all the house work and homemaking tasks that need done. If you really need to vacuum everyday do that but make it the same thing everyday! My kids do the dishes and The Hubs really wants the laundry to not get out of control and yes two years after starting Sex Love and Washing Clothes I still need to work on the actual washing of the clothes, so that is my task. I will be starting a load of laundry in the morning (FUCK I already forgot today) then in the afternoon transferring it to the dryer and in the evening the kids will be able to fold and then I will put my clothes away… Or some way or another I will wash clothes and get them put away. No more laundry piles regardless of clean or dirty until after Easter…

So there your have it for Lent you are doing Sex Love and Washing Clothes! …We are doing Sex Love and Washing Clothes! I need a boost in my relationship I think this will help. It is a focus on eachother what better way to reconnect than to Sex Love and Washing Clothes. Everyone in the relationship is working at bettering it! It a relationship focus not a me or you focus! Let’s do this and by Easter let’s check in and see how it helped!

Good luck Challengers here we go!


Plan Focus Give Grace


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Hello Readers,

I have to confess, I have had a rough go lately. The Hubs and I have been struggling. It’s hard for me to write encouraging posts when I don’t feel so positive it is hard for me to write positive without feeling like a fake. So, with that said, I am feeling more positive, I know that I may be having some sort of depression or anxiety and need to pay attention and not get lost in it. I am going to be going back to counseling on my own and I will be checking in with my GP about some tummy issues I’ve been having, to keep my health a priority and take care of me. As a person, as a mom, as a wife and a health care provider it is hard to serve in your roll if you feel down and ineffective. Like they say it is impossible to serve from an empty vessel.

empty-vesselIn my life in the last week I have had some clarity of mind to realize I need to focus on me. Not in a selfish way where you are “more important” than your family, that you are charged with taking care of, but in a way to be the healthiest you so your family can have a healthy mom, healthy wife and your clients can have a healthy provider coming from a place of love and caring. I have been so bogged down with stress in life that I am complaining a lot, offended easily and my brain gets flooded and I get angry easily. So much so that I don’t really recognize myself and then when the hubs and I get into “special moments” I feel like I turn into some monster that is not me! Then it spirals out of control! So I am taking control of me. Part of that is me getting back into blogging here. I want to encourage people who are or have been in my spot. Also it helps me to get my feelings out and helps me to help guide myself in a positive way, not just my readers. Plus entertaining readers with my Hump Day Challenges is a passion of mine that I have missed the last few weeks.

Another part is getting back to my life. I have been working a lot and losing site of what really matters. My work matters but there is a balance that needs to be heeded. A balance of working in my business (doing massage) as well as working on my business (admin stuff like billing and marketing). I love networking for marketing and I have a lot of friends that I network with but that networking time needs to be just that and sometimes the balance of networking and socializing line blurs and loses potency.

So to deter the blurred lines of friend time and networking time I plan to be more active in my life with friends. We all struggle balance with work and fun but it is important to stay in touch with your “people”. You know, the ones who can figure out your drunk text typos and actually answer or support you in those moments! So one part of this gaining balance and getting back to me is scheduling girlfriend time as well as date nights and family nights! All three is important as important as work time.

Another part is planning house work time. This is harder for me because really, who wants to do the bull shit tasks of cooking, cleaning and grocery shopping? Especially after work and taxiing around the kids after a full day of work? But if you ignore it or don’t plan it you end up with those “special moments” with the Hubs that no one really wants! So this next sentence is very important, You must plan with your family! Everyone in the family has a responsibility  for how the house runs! The Hubs and I have had some conversations on this and although we haven’t really planned it all out, we have made huge gains in this area. The Hubs has started helping with dishes and putting laundry away. There is much to be said about a person who actually steps up to handle the things that they hate not being done versus just complaining about it! So: MAKE A FAMILY PLAN ABOUT HOW YOUR HOUSE WILL BE RAN AND EVERYONE CONTRIBUTE! Talk about it and follow through.

So to sum up this long post:

  1. Take care of you if that means going to the doctor, counselor, journaling, exercising, What ever it is, make time!! My plan get back to counseling, exercise everyday (at least cardio), get to doctor about tummy issues, have grace with myself when I am overwhelmed!
  2. Schedule and stick to it you work and admin time in your business! My plan just get it admin and massage time on the books and don’t waiver regardless of the client and their schedule, make my schedule and family time as important as theirs. Balance!
  3. Schedule Date nights, family nights and time with “your people” My plan: Schedule girlfriend time once a month, Date nights weekly and actually go, Family nights or outings weekly
  4. Schedule House work and responsibilities! Everyone has a responsibility to participate it is not all on mom regardless if mom is a working mom stay at home. We need to teach our kids they have to contribute as well as the husbands. Talk about it and make a plan! My Plan: schedule family menu planning meetings, utilize Clicklist with preplanned menus. Give kids chores and follow through with them to do it on schedule before practices and dance.
  5. GIVE GRACE! Let everyone have a little grace with heavy stress load times of homework, busy work days and heavily scheduled tournaments or competitions. Everyone is trying hard to motivate through life! We all want what’s best for our family and ourselves and sometimes we need to take a nap instead of vacuum! As long as we are all doing our best when our family needs help lets lend a helping hand they will do the same for you when you need! Help each other out to get to the goal and enjoy the good moments like the tournament wins and realize sometimes those things come when the house is messy, but when those moments are over and we have down time we can catch up when we need to! As long as there is not mold growing on the dishes and the house isn’t burning down and there is a dance to watch or a game going on…take it in! Enjoy these busy crazy moments building a lives, growing children into adults, growing a business and creating a life! Make it happy!!!

Live the life you’ve imagined because remember in your dreams you saw the results not the work that it takes to get there! FOCUS on what is important. Family, friends, lives, and moments are important! Money and dishes and laundry will go away savor moments with your people!!!



XXX-Sexting 2017-xxx


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Shit! It’s Hump Day at 11:57 and I haven’t posted yet! I have e been thinking about the Hump Day Challenge all day and I think I settled with sexting! Last week we talked about con ection and (for me anyway) I feel connected and not so alone when I receive text messages from the hu a letting me know is what he is up to where he’s going etc. It makeses me feel like part of his life when I’m not with him. I like sending the random boob shot or a quick pussy shot after I get waxed. He likes that too, buy Sexting is not limited to dirty pictures, but who doesn’t like the boobie pics? Sexting can be story taking or forecasting what’s to come to tonight or just fantasy. 

So for this challenge start by sending your lover a flirty wordy text. Something like “I’m gonna lick your dick like a lollipop tonight.” Then add details, in the corner of the couch after the kids are sleeping or when you finishing up your work at you home office etc… Get as graphic as you like. Then after a couple “I’m going to ______” texts send a sexy picture. Then talk more about your sexy plans. Even if your lover can’t respond he/she will get to their phone at the end of the day and be pretty excited to see you. That wait from the time they get the texts to when the kids are finally in bed will be electric and filled with excitement and anticipation. 

It’s also fun to send sexy messages across the living room with the Disney channel on too (as long as the kids don’t intercept the messages).

Take time today to stop once an hour or so and sext your lover. He may want to get detailed and respond back with what he’s going to do to you. I like the texts that say how he’s going to “come in the door press me up against the wall kissing and making out with me, unbuttoning my shirt and tearing my clothes off while pulling my hair” then we go back and forth for a while and it’s exciting. Then we realize we have to play that out in real life after kids go to bed or when they are at Grandmas but it’s so sexy and exhilarating in the moment.

So spice up your lovers work day with sexting. You will encounter and encourage anticipation, foreplay, role play and some sexy selfies! Enjoy!


XXX-Pop Quiz-XXX


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Happy Hump Day! The purpose of Hump Day Challenges is to create more connection with your lover. So today is a POP Quiz with your lover. It’s a STRIP POP QUIZ. You know your lover if you know each other well you can make it every

Ask these questions to him or her or make up your own questions.  You can change the order of questions if you’d like just make sure you ramp up to sex. The way you are going to ramp up to sex is you are going remove clothes every wrong answer (if you think your partner will struggle you can change the rules and take off clothes every right answer depending on how quickly you want to get naked). For every wrong answer tell you lover the correct answer open up the conversation and learn about each other! As he answers then you answer for him so each question you will both be answering each question as you go along, it’s no fun if only one partner gets naked and the other doesn’t. This will open up some lines of conversation and help you connect on another level other than just sex on this Hump Day. Also feel free to look at the parts of body as clothing is removed and insert any form of foreplay as desired but focus on the questions and enjoy the conversation however it may be hard (pun intended) but you have to balance the conversation with the sex:

Here are some questions in no particular order except for the last two:

  1. What is my favorite color?
  2. What is my favorite food?
  3. What is the anniversary of our relationship? (the answer is not marriage it is when you started dating or the party you met at or your first date)
  4. Who is my best friend?
  5. What is my favorite activity or game to play?
  6. If we could travel anywhere for a vacation alone with you where would I choose to go?
  7. What do you think was my favorite trip or day or experience that I have had with you?
  8. What is my mom’s name?
  9. What is my dad’s name?
  10. What makes me smile the biggest?
  11. What is my favorite movie?
  12. What is my favorite song?
  13. If I was a stripper what would be my theme song?
  14. What is my favorite sexual position?
  15. What is my natural hair color?
  16. How do I take my coffee?
  17. What is my favorite breakfast meal?
  18. What is my sign?
  19. When is my birthday?
  20. Am I an introvert or extrovert?
  21. Am I more modest or exhibitionist?
  22. Do I enjoy these questions and this conversation or am I ansy to get down to business of humping?
  23. Are you ready to get down to business?

After you decide your ready to get down to business start with your partners favorite foreplay. Hopefully you will have already started some of it during the game as your lover got naked. Feel free to talk during sex (I am not much of a fan of talking during sex but today will be an exception) keep the conversation going if you like. Feel free to just fuck and not talk after the conversation if you prefer. Get to know each other this will help you want to have sex more when you feel more connected!


XXX-Shower Sex Detox


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shower-hump-dayHello readers! Happy Hump Day. Better late than never right?! Especially since it has been a little bit since I wrote! I am not gone just busy and working on organization! I will get this whole working mom, business owner, wife and blogger thing down if it kills me!

Today’s Hump Day Challenge is inspired by our weather here! It has been pouring down rain! something like 2-3 inches in the last 24-48 hours. We here in the Seattle area get really annoyed and tired of the rain but there is something really detoxifying and cleansing about  water running down your face and flushing the soul. So today’s Hump Day Challenge is to have sex not in the rain (that would be weird but pretty hot so if you want go for it!) but to have sex in the shower. Turn on the water stand close to your lover and feel each others skin on skin. Rub your bodies together like your spouse shoulders then neck and kiss with the water coming down over you. As you make out with your lover under the shower head think of that water as cleansing your relationship flushing out the doldrums of every day life and filling it with fresh love and excitement!

There are steps and cool apparatuses you can buy for foot supports and hand holds go for it check out our A-store link on this page where you can purchase some. I have found that lifting a leg on the side of the tub (if you have a tub in your shower) helps open your pussy up to your lover. He can grab you leg and enter you as he wishes. Make sure you have somewhere to balance and are grounded it is slippery on the shower floor be careful. Keep towels handy so that when it gets hot and heavy you can towel eachother off and climb into bed to finish off. You will love licking the water off your lovers body and you will feel refreshed loved and inspired by your cleansing hot and sexy experience with your lover in the shower!

Be safe and sexy relax and lock the door because you will get clean, refreshed detoxed and filled with love and more with this challenge! Now go take your shower!!


XXX-Corner of The Couch


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Happy First Hump Day of 2017! For today’s Hump Day challenge I want it to be epic for you. Today, pick your favorite spot to fuck your lover. Mine is the corner of the couch. Sometimes we go out and come home the Hubs turns on something sexy on the big screen and then we have great corner of the couch sex. Corner of the couch sex includes amazing oral. He can get to my pussy without having to wrench his neck like he does when we are laying in bed. He can stand up and I can suck his cock without wrenching my neck. Anyway it is our favorite spot to fuck, because it is the best spot to fuck!

If you don’t have a favorite spot to fuck try the corner of your couch. Trade spots have her sitting/reclining in the corner for a bit while you lick her pussy, then trade places he can sit or recline and she can suck your cock, slide forward and she can even get in some ass play on you… the key is to relax and enjoy.

hot_girl_on_couch-t2Good sex is defined as sex that you and your lover (sometimes only one or the other) truly enjoys. And yes I believe if you are freely giving yourself to your lover even if you do not “enjoy” it that it can be considered good sex. You are giving yourself freely to your lover on your own for him or her to have or experience pleasure. That is a kind and generous thing to do. It is not something that can be forced. However, i is your choice don’t ever let anyone be it your lover or not force you to do something you don’t want to. My challenges are intended for free and consenting adults. Please do not use these to guilt your partner into doing something they don’t want to do. That would be rape! Consider yourself very blessed if your partner let’s their guard down enough to break out of their comfort zone and try something new. Please respect your lover, be thankful if it’s one and done enjoy that one time and thank your partner. Return the favor. Let go and enjoy and respect each other!

I still believe good sex can save and rescue relationships go get you some in your favorite spot today!


Impact 2017


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You are someone’s greatest gift! I read this on a Junior High School billboard, it inspired this post. That person may be your mom or dad or it may be your spouse or child. It may also be someone you don’t talk to anymore, someone you met just once and smiled at or said something nice to. We impact people in so many ways. Some that we ourselves will never understand how what we did or said was meaningful in their life. So in this first blog of 2017 I say to you: how are you impacting people in life? Are you leaving the impression you wish to leave?


Shitty 2016? Do You in 2017


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Well, if you have been reading my blog this month you probably have been wanting more. You probably have figured out that I am having a rough month. To top it off, yesterday, actually the day before yesterday, after a full day at work my neck started bothering me. It is a C2 type feeling pain. I have regular chiropractic adjustments, C2 is my headache spot and it was feeling out of alignment. By yesterday morning I was in excruciating pain. I don’t normally cancel work or ask friends for favors but I had to do both. I canceled all 4 of my massages (which all happened to be PIP claims) and then I called my Chiropractor who is off this week and he had me come to his house to work on me. My massage therapist coworker (who is actually the boss lady at my office) offered to work on me as well she was going to add me to her already booked schedule. I am laid up today as well. I was trembling in pain last night. I went to bed at 8 and didn’t get up until 8 this morning. Since I have got out of bed is has gotten worse. That whole gravity thing is weighing down on me. I am frustrated that I have to take it easy. I am angry that the end of December and the end of 2017 ends on a negative note.

This has been a rough month. The Hubs and I have been through the wringer. A bad event happened the beginning of the month. We have been dealing with it ever since. I have struggle with the idea of sticking it out. I wanted to just leave my marriage my family and my life and go it alone. This life is too short to live unhappy. If shitty things are going to keep happening then why stay in this relationship. We fight like cats and dogs. There is yelling and threats and insults and all of this happens, sometimes, in front of the kids. They have been changed by the way they have seen their parents argue! It makes me sad and ashamed. I am ashamed of myself for putting up with it, for perpetuating it and not doing anything to change it, or at least not enough. But what can I do? Leave my husband? end the marriage? give my kids two addresses? One of which would be in poverty because I am too busy being a mom than to make money. Anyway I have decided to stick it out. I can’t bring my self to leave. There is a part of me that wants to and a part of me that wants the happily ever after with my high school sweetheart. I also am not ready to dismantle my family. I also took my “till death do us part” and “for better or worse” vows very seriously. I know there are a lot of people saying “there is a better way” but I don’t know if I want that way. Nor do I know if I am ready to move away from the good stuff that we do have.

2016 has been rough… actually December of 2016 has been rough. With all that has been going on in my life I have been comforting myself with food. Eating my feelings! I have been through a tragic event in my marriage, lost my only friend who I could talk to about it and now I have an injury that has sidelined me from work, exercise and life in general. I have had a shitty month. I have been eating my feelings. I have talked to some friends but don’t want to talk about it much. Especially since a lot the advice I have gotten has been “things can be better, you can do it all alone. Don’t worry about the money. You’re stillcircumstances-make-me young you have a lot of life in front of you.” I hate all of that advice. I am not as strong as those people think I am. Those people mostly have been divorced or never married or are single. Some are more happy than they were in their first marriage too… But, I can’t do it. I want my marriage to work I want to be happy. I don’t know if either is possible but I can’t not try. I start counseling again on Monday. I (we) have decided to work this relationship. I will John Gottman the shit out of this and make it work if it kills me…and it might. I also know I need to stop sulking and live my life and watch what I eat. I have eaten my feelings to the tone of 8.7 pounds since this started.

I started this  blog in 2015 (well end of 2014) to prove that sex, love and washing clothes can save a relationship. I am going to put this into practice in 2017. It is more than just the actions of having sex and cleaning house it takes that middle word, love. I honestly believe LOVE can change the world. Love is something you have to choose. It does not choose you. You choose love. I am choosing love, I am choosing to live this life that I have and love it. All the shitty circumstances are just that, Shitty!!! I refuse to let them slow me down and make me sad anymore. It sucks but you know what, you have shitty things you have lived with, don’t you? Well, maybe you haven’t. Maybe you have moved on and maybe you are happy to not have that in your face everyday. I have never chosen the easy path, I have chosen that hard path and right now honestly either path is not an easy path for me. Is there ever an easy path? I want my family to thrive. I see some counseling not only in my future but also in my families future. I know we are going to need professional help to get through this but we will come out stronger and better than ever. In a year we will be in a different place, I look forward to seeing what that means in my life!

There is a lot of work to be done here. Please don’t judge me or my family or anyone else. We all have our own battles to face and we will make some good choices and some that could have been better. Do you make the choices for you or for what people will say about you…do it for you! I am doing it for me! Do you in 2017 I am going to do ME!




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I have had a rough few weeks. Last week I lost a friend, as a result of the circumstances that are fucked up. I know my friend was not ending our friendship because of anything that I did wrong but because it was what was the healthiest decision, probably for both of us. It is still sad to see a friend walk out of your life for no reason except the shitty things happening around you. Sometimes in lifewe have no control over the circumstances or things that happen to is we only have control over how we respond and live life after shiftiness happens. So for that reason my friend and I we had to say goodbye! At least for now. It was shitty. It still is shitty. Life is hard sometimes. Not every decision feels good and not every decision is a right and wrong some are deciding between shitty and more shitty, but as in this situation sometimes shitty is the healthy decision!

A Poem I memorized in Jr High school is in my brain from Langston Hughes 

“I loved my friend he went away from me. The poem ends soft as it began I loved my friend.”

I hope to one day reunite but for now we have to take care of ourselves. I promised my friend I would take care of me and I plan to keep the promise. It’s time to be positive and live life.