Down Day

Today is not going as well as I want it to. Lack of motivation struck me down. I got super tired and sat on the couch! This Fucking couch!!! I want a new couch that is great for entertaining but sucky for cozying up and napping on. Especially on mentally tired mornings like today.

Anyway, I have been trying to get in touch with a Chiropractor. I am currently working from home but want to connect with this Chiropractor because he has a very successful practice but is not using massage regularly with his clients. He is super busy right now, and I am super slow! Which is why I want to work with him. He was gonna call this afternoon but he got to busy. He just texted saying he was sorry and will call tomorrow. Ok, don’t lose hope yet, maybe we can work something out! I really hope so. I need something to spark my business.

My spark in general, although I have some good ideas and goals, is very dim. The Hubs is money stressed the kids year is about to get expensive and this is a busy time of year. I’m stressed. I have considered looking into doing some subbing at the school district to fill slow days but I can’t run 2 practices and work at the school. I am feeling like I’m falling in the Ruby rut of wanting more but not having the motivation or focus or direction to follow through.

I am second guessing everything from my business, my parenting to even my massage. I was trying to go have some retail therapy yesterday and lost the perfect credenza for my massage office. It was $100 more than I originally wanted to spend but was also $100 off of the sale price and it really was perfect size, color and everything. For some reason that event deflated my sails! Why? I really want my business to thrive and be perfect but now I go back to still looking for a “Champagne Budget” piece if furniture when I have a “Beer Furniture Budget”.

Today is just a blah day I need to break this funk. I have done one load of laundry, got myself a massage and chiro adjustment and that’s about it I feel drained and tired and I just want to nap but I wish I had energy to go run! It will come need to stop beating myself up!

#Everyday2018

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Getting Going Slow

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this is the beginningOkay so here I am Monday evening just now blogging. I really need to work on scheduling writing in before the end of the day. Except today was different slightly here I was I got up took the 5:30 am spin class at the gym. As I was basking in my exercise high dreaming of taking a run after the kids go to school the Hubs texted me “check you court date” I have a court date for a speeding ticket that I got back in November. I contested it as the officer put the wrong license plate number on my ticket. You see I accidentally gave him the registration for our travel trailer instead of the truck. So on the ticket it said “I authorize that I was driving this vehicle license #……” well since I wasn’t driving that license plate number vehicle I could not in good conscious sign that ticket as committing that infraction. I had a whole argument ready about said technicality however I didn’t need it. Apparently when a ticket is contested officers have to file an affidavit stating their case and the proof of how they caught you speeding etc the officer did not file an affidavit so my case was dismissed before I even had to pull out my evidence.

So thanks to the Hubs I am one speeding ticket less on my record and my day to work on the house turned into a half day. My original plan was going to be spin class, writing the a 3 mile run and then cake cabinet organizing. But it turned into driving 2.5 hours and half day to organize and here I am at 11pm blogging. Oh well at least it’s done.

Yesterday the Hubs and Kids and I went to see Star Wars again then went to dinner at a hibachi style restaurant. While we were there we talked New Year’s Resolution. We all stated some of our goals for the year. Some of us are already a day later working on round two of trying again. I have already wrote about my goals but the kids added a fun one we have a plan for one just because” family day a month and they added one chore day a month to do things like washing windows or scrubbing bath tubs. The Girl is the one who picked that and the Boy agreed, The Hubs looked a little scared but was still down. It was nice to have a little family time to talk with all of our phones put away. I am looking forward to more of that in 2018.

I made my bed today (one of my resolutions that the kids laughed at) went to the gym. Am still one higher than the day of the year on sex so today I am at 9 and haven’t even had sex yet. Still have 0 miles running but am looking forward to getting started.

One of the best things about 2018 is The Hubs and I have not had on big fight. Even tonight we had a discussion that got heated but we stayed calm and focused and got through it with out a knock down drag out! He would say it’s because I’m not yelling or I have done something different like having sex every day but really he is getting more patient. He is being more patient and understanding and all he says is that it’s because I have changed…weird. Honestly, it doesn’t matter the fact that we are getting along better having the fun times we have together and not the shitty arguments that showed up in 2017 about once a week is a nice change regardless of why!

Anyway here’s to 2018 and getting moving on the Goals or Resolutions and actually starting the 2018 movement! I will work on my schedule and be here tomorrow!

#Everyday2018

Give Yourself Time to Adjust

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Resolution writing everyday here I am writing at 10:06pm on my phone as the kids fill their bowls with ice cream. I had one massage and did a cake today. Did not have a shower…or wash my face but am still on the sex everyday track, and if I am correct I at at 6 even though today is only the 5th yes we’ve had one two a day! I have yet to log any miles running this year hopefully tomorrow will be my day. I have decided to start on all everything officially on Monday. I am being a little easy on myself this year. I will follow through I just am better if I start on a Monday! The family has our meeting for goals that will be the kick off! I sound so lazy! Oh well! Do the best you can with what you can. Tomorrow I will write more. The Fam is watching Truman Show.

I feel like this was a waisted blog post. Well, at least I wrote! Work in progress we all are!

#GiveYourselfGrace2018

New Year’s Resolutions. blah blah

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New Years ResolutionsHappy 2018! I started this blog as a New Year’s Goal type thing in 2015. That year and this blog was where #Everyday2015 started. In 2013 I did #13in2013 where I did 13 races in 2013 I decided on that on New Years Eve 12/31/12 while participating in a half Marathon which is 13.1 miles the number 13 is significfant in my life, that’s another story. The point I am making is that in 2013 and 2015 at the end of the year I could look back and pat myself on the back and say “good job, you did it.” In 2016 I gave myself a break with the whole everyday thing and stopoped pressing so hard to blog everyday, I was trying to give myself some grace, my life kind of went in the wrong direction or in no direction it was not all bad, however. I had a rough end to 2016 then 2017 hasn’t been super awesome both of those years I had no goal no real direction except to “be better” “do my best” but nothing measurable so I decided this year to start over and give myself goals and now here I am writing them down. I am revisiting #everyday with sex and writing starting today. So let me just lay it out there what I am setting goals for.

First I am going to Sex Love and Washing Clothes every day! Everyday I will actually Wash Clothes, at least one load of laundry a day (massage sheets count!). I will be having sex with the Hubs everyday! We even had a bit of an argument the other day and I still followed through with that. So I need to schedule writing in everyday and include Hump Day Challenge every week on Wednesdays. I want to at least update how the goals are doing every day so you may end up with tallies on a template for some days I will work on that and get it prepped for Monday to be all in and ready.

Fitness wise, get back in to exercising regularly. I am going to start with a goal or running 50 miles per month. I also want to add in other exercise as well. I’d like to get in the gym 2-3 days per week and make a minimum of 100 days in the gym (or lifting weights, cycling swimming or something other than running if I decide to cancel the gym membership). Weight loss goals I am shooting for 1% loss per week until I hit my goal of 150 (which I think I am going to amend to 140). I am in weight loss challenges and just completed on that I lost 8.6% in 10 weeks I need to step it up a bit adding exercise and  continuing to follow my eating plan will help.

Family Goals. We are as a family having dinner together Saturday Night and doing a little meeting where we are all going to present our goals. Each family member was instructed to set some goals for the year be it remember to brush my teeth every night or do my homework with out being told or have no missing assignments at school etc. The kids have never done this so they may need some direction. The Hubs doesn’t really do this either. I am hoping that he will do it and as a family we can support each other in being healthier and living more intentionally. Have one family day a month to do something together. A whole day for a family outing something like go to Seattle and window shop, go to the Zoo, or for a drive to have a picinic or even just a local hike at a park. Just something that is with the family and for family not for dance or baseball or any other reason or agenda. Also to eat at least one meal a week around the table with no T.V. on.

Dry January no drinking in Jaunary actually I am extending it through Superbowl. Superbowl Sunday is the next drink I will have, if I decide to have one. Since the Seahawks are not in the Playoffs and there is a dance competition that weekend I may not even then but technically I could. I am considering giving up booze all together at some point in the future for now lets stick to January.

This  is going to sound weird and maybe bad/embarrassing but I have a goal to get in the shower and wash make up off my face! Sometimes on a weekend or a slow day after a few busy days staying in yoga pants or jammies all day is acceptable. If you’re a mom I am sure you can relate to the grind of dry shower shampooing your hair or grabbing a hat because there is no time or the extra 15 minutes in bed is worth it. I am going to make an effort to not do that for more than 2 days. Also Make my bed EVERYDAY and put my clothes away and not throw them on the floor!

So there you have it. My New Year’s Resolutions have been set even though I HATE the word resolutions. I hate the word resolutions because New Year’s Resolutions are meant to be broken so I just say goals or this is what I am going to do… I am working on a hashtag for the year but for now I will just hashtag each post with it’s own so this one will just be #Intentions

#Intentions2017 #Day1

Christmas Eve

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The kids are in bed, presents all wrapped and set up for them to find in the morning. The Hubs is sleeping next to me after a long fun filled day of Seahawks away game party and the Christmas Eve gathering we have at our house. Today was a beautiful day. Our team won! Go Hawks! We had some of our best friends with us for dinner, drinks, cookie decorating, and spending quality time together.

Growing up Christmas Eve in my house was very similar. My Dad’s tradition was to set up the Christmas Tree on Christmas Eve. We would have an open house friends would come by and out an ornament on the tree and eat food and spend time with us. It was at that event on this night in 1996 that The Hubs and shared our first kiss. Who knew we would end up here 21 years later. I would not change it for the world.

We have had many bumps and turns in the road of our life. This last year has been a really rough year and I fear some roughness in our future, but at the end of the day, I look at this man and all we have created together and count my blessings and remember why I am here. I love this man who is snoring next to me. He is, sometimes, really hard to live with and sometimes, I want to ring his neck but he is my soulmate. We clash in many things but those are the things that balance us. We a have busy chaotic life that adds stress but one day the kids will be grown and we will slow down and we will cherish these years the most.

My goal for 2018 is living in the moment more and really enjoying our kids. We spend a lot of money and a lot of time on them. Sometimes that distracts us from enjoying them. They are fun to watch don’t here thing. The girl is an amazing dancer. I want to appreciate her dance more especially since she is talking about not dancing after this year. The Boy plays 4 sports now. He added Basketball once Christmas break is over wrestling will start and booked ending those are Football and baseball. He is a good athlete he has a good attitude and really enjoys what he does. I want him to know it’s about playing hard and doing well but mostly it’s about having fun while you do it. Same worth The Girl it’s not about winning scholarships at competition it’s about having fun, putting yourself into the dance and let it move you.

Today I sit here in appreciation of my family. The Hubs takes really good care of this family with his work and providing for us. We are able this year to help my mom out and got her a car that should last her a while. It is a nicer car than she has and most of all SAFE! I feel pretty thankful that my husband will also take care of my mom like that. I like to be able to play Santa to my mom, I know she will appreciate it and I am thankful she will have a safe car to use when she is transporting my children around town. She does that a lot! It’s a way of paying her back for that.

I am just in awe of my family right now. The Hubs and I have had a really rough year but right now in this moment I feel joy and love and appreciation. I want to hold that feeling close to my heart and focus on that in 2018.

#LoveAlways2017

XXX-Hump Day Thankfulness

Happy Thanksgiving Eve!!! It is a bit of a tradition that we go out on the night before Thanksgiving. It has been over the years, kind of a high school reunion. We go out and see a bunch of friends who came back for the Holiday. However, as we get older that has kind of stopped happening as much. We all have kids now and net everyone is comfortable leaving their kids and going out to the bar.

Today’s hump day challenge is about giving thanks! Be thankful for your lover and thankful for your sex. Appreciate them by giving them what they like. If he is an anal sex guy lube up and give it to him. If she likes to have her pussy licked lick her pussy! Be thankful for them and thank them by giving them what they like!

Fuck the hell out of your lover. Make sure your lube is by the bed and you are mentally prepared.

Relax, have fun and fuck each other’s brains out!

#Fuck2017

Day late Hump Day Challenge Quickie

Awe man, another day got away from me! I promised a Hump Day Challenge a day late so here we go. After dinner, find your lover in the middle of something and steal them away for a quickie. Maybe she is washing the dishes and you grab her around the waste and drag her into bathroom. Or your Man is out in his shop tinkering and you go back “help” but he knows you don’t know a wrench from a screwdriver except. You tell him to screw you and he is okay with that. The kids gone to finish homework or play in their rooms after dinner so you have a minute to go at it right there. Make it quick so you don’t get caught and lock the door! Maybe it’s in a closet or the corner of the yard where no one can see you but make it quick and make it sexy.

Talk dirty, whisper dirty so no one hears you. Don’t even take all your clothes off. When you come out the rest of the family will not know what happened but they will know it was a good thing. It’s a great way to adjust her attitude for doing dishes, she may want to do the like that every day. Have fun be relaxed and enjoy the quickie!

#Humodayquickie2017

Steamy Windows

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FUCK!!! It’s Wednesday and it’s almost over and I forgot to post a hump day challenge!

Quickly, today challenge brought to you by sitting in a car dealership all day! Fuck in a car! This is harder than it sounds especially since cars of today are not like those in the 50’s. The back seat of that ’57 Chevy was much more conducive to fucking than that of today’s BMW 5 series…but minivans, that’s another story… You go soccer mom!

But get creative, go in the back seat, ride him on the passenger seat, fold down the back seats and don’t in the trunk. Get the gear shifter out of the way and pull out his big stick!

Find a place that is secluded to park with a view of the city take a moment to enjoy the view but even if it’s right when you pull in the driveway before you go inside…it’s hot to have sex in a car! Especially with the idea or the risk of getting caught…just don’t get caught!

No driving while giving it getting head, it’s dangerous! But you are adults now you can fuck him wherever it feels good! Enjoy the view and get it on in the car!

#Carsex

Stop Second Guessing

I am constantly second guessing everything. Did I say the wrong thing? Did they take that the right way? If someone is mad is me what did I do could I have done anything differently? When my kids get in a bond what should I have done to prevent it?

It is never ending in my head. I know, I know never have regrets never second guess but that too, is just in my head and it doesn’t stop it from happening.

I ran into someone from my past today. They didn’t speak to me. Did I handle our last moments together wrong? Should I have said something else when they said they needed to not talk to me? Or should I have said what I was feeling in the “don’t leave me alone in this” moment. Has not enough time past or did I do something wrong?

Why do I care? Because in that moment in my life I lost a lot of my life. I lost what I thought were true friends. And that moment put me in a horrible place in my life. It was really out of no control over the situation, nit something I did or said wrong. But…. really? Was I completely innocent? All the second guessing I do. If I would have said this or not said that if I would have done this or not that… All that does is just causes pain and resurfaces grief I was just starting to move on from and get over. Is my friend okay? Is my friend still suffering? Or doing better? I thought maybe enough time had past to have that conversation, but no.

I’m not going back there, but why can’t I have self confidence and love myself and know I always do my best. I really do. I put my best out there all the time, for everyone else. I suck at doing what is best for me and speaking up for me! Because I’m too worried about offending or hurting someone else feelings, or breaking rules. Why do I fucking care. It’s obvious they didn’t care for me.

Now I know my friend. This person did what this person needed to do for themself. This person is unlike me they know exactly how to take care of him/herself. I am not always so sure. I wish I could learn that. Funny thing is right before the end of our friendship said person was trying to teach me that in a very good friend way just that lesson. I miss that friend. I miss that role in my life to learn that lesson.. I needed that then and I still do now…

Anyway this is all part of what? Where does it come from? Does it matter if I know? Is it my low self esteem or maybe anxiety? Getting the thoughts out help and if you are that person (the person like me), hear this: You did good enough. You did your best. It’s not your fault. Maybe in my situation I could have asked for more help instead I let my friend get what my friend needed. I needed more strength and I couldn’t get that from anyone else anyway. Everyone has their own story, it is not because of you that they are mad or sad or even that they don’t speak to you. Be there as a shoulder, not to fix it or them. There is no solution, just be there.

#justbethere

Wedding flowers

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These are my wedding flowers. I walked down the isle 17 years ago holding these flower proudly in my hands looking at my best friend at the end of the isle. These flowers are significant. I have saved them in this vase that I received as a wedding gift.

17 years later, they look tired and old and dead but there is something about them. I don’t want to toss them. When I look any them I reminisce about that day about the planning that lead up to that day. About all the flowers the Hubs had got me in Corsages before that day and since then the flowers he brings me home, which is why I chose the color I chose. Those flowers represent the day we chose to be together for better or worse. Through the years these flowers have seen better but even in there old tired (some may say dead) state there is a beauty that I just can’t throw away!

I don’t want to be tired old or dead in my relationship. I know I’m tired but on bad days maybe when the Hubs and I aren’t in the “for better” moments I look at their ugliness and think just throw it away! I have grabbed them in anger and frustration, probably trying to clean up clutter that we were arguing about, and thought “why even save these they are dead!” But I can’t bring myself to throw them away!

In that moment, like today, I look at the ugly dead flowers and remember the beauty they once were They inspire me to see past sadness of how they look and cherish the beauty they represent.

Maybe I should make this vase the fresh flowers vase that I keep fresh flowers in, it takes maintenance to keep beautiful fresh flowers and cycling out the old but these flowers aren’t going anywhere. Just like my marriage I did not say “I do” to just the beauty. I said “I do” to all of it. That includes the ugly the sad and tired. I am happily married because of that decision and those words that day. Not everyday is happy, today has not been a happy day. That doesn’t mean I’m not happy.

These flowers are beautiful in there way and I am happy to have them. It is a reminder that things need maintenance and marriages need maintenance to stay beautiful but there is always beauty in love. These flowers should probably go, according to some clutter expert but for now they will stay. I will hold on to this reminder that even in ugly stages love conquers and may the best shine through. May you be loved.

#Loveconquers