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Tag Archives: Be Happy

It’s Up To You

24 Tuesday Jul 2018

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in #Everyday2015, Be Present, Be You, Connection, Live in the Moment, Reboot, Sex

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Be Happy, It's a choice, Life is good, Life is Hard, Love the life you live

Happiness is a choiceIt has been a while since I have written. There are many reasons, the obvious or easy answer is I have been busy. The real answer is I haven’t felt that I can be honest or real and that is tragic in this blog. I have not been what I would call happy. I have missed writing and I feel like getting away from writing has separated me from some of my feelings, honestly. It has bee hard in the Earl household lately. The Hubs and I have struggled. I believe we are getting back on the right track however. When I started this in 2015 I vowed to Sex Love and Washing Clothes everyday (#everyday2015). I was writing this blog to help teach women that being just a mom and wife was okay and to give purpose to myself, so I created Sex Love and Washing Clothes. It superficially helped my relationship back in 2015, gave the Hubs what he desired (more sex) and gave me purpose in my writing ans sharing my story with others like myself who needed to feel whole and were “just a mom.” Well, part way into that year I went back to work because I wanted to help our family afford a new car and help take pressure off the Hubs for the whole financial liability. So I went from being a stay at home mom to being a working mom and at one point I was working two jobs. To say the least the focus of my purpose got lost. It took a turn away from the original purpose and life got in the way…

I still did Sex Love and Washing Clothes everyday in 2015. In 2016 we kept it up pretty well and then I went into private practice and had many struggles to stay happy in our relationship. We spent 2017 trying to figure out how our family could survive with my being in private practice and decided I should work from home. So in 2018 I have been working my private practice from home and starting to feel settled and good together again. It has been rough. Many days I have thought about just giving up and writing a divorce blog. But we are stubborn and won’t give up that easily. Which brings me here today. Writing for me has been to justify my feelings and process my emotions. I just bought the book by Daniel Goleman called Emotional Intelligence. I am familiar with Emotional Intelligence and it is very important to understand that it comes from within.

In relationships understanding your emotions, where they come from and the fact that you are solely responsible for them is a valuable lesson. What you do with your emotions is on you. Being happy makes you more desirable and makes more people want to be with you. You have to own your happiness. Your partner can contribute to that happiness but they cannot provide that happiness, it’s a hard lesson sometimes to learn but once learned both people in a relationship can take their happiness to the next level. I am ready for the next level. Let’s do this and see what kind of sex comes out of it… I am ready to get back to writing about the crazy things in life and inspiring lovers to take it to the next level!

We are looking forward to changing our ways and living happy! Join us friends, it’s a choice come along with our journey!

#Change2018

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Give Yourself Time This Time

12 Monday Dec 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Be You, Live in the Moment

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Be Happy, Blogging, do what is best for YOU, Life, Make the right choice, Refocus, Time heals all, Work

There are decisions we face daily that affect our lives in bigger ways than we know. Sometimes you make the best decision other times they are not so good. I am refraining away from saying right and wrong. We don’t always know what is right and what is wrong. I think more often than not there is no right and there is no wrong. There is always better or worse decisions or things you could have done. I guess there are somethings that are “right” and/or “wrong” but not everyone defines those things the same so it is up to interpretation in certain situations.

your-decisions-not-circumstancesHave you ever had a situation in your life that you feel like keeps repeating itself? When you realize it is about decisions you are making (or not making) in life, then what do you do? How do you respond differently to people and get them to believe you when you decide to go a different way this time? You have always been a certain way and now your friends are sitting there going “What the FUCK? She’s never meant that before!” How do you get them to believe you? What makes you make the decision to separate the old you and the new you? I have read about people recovering from addiction struggling with this. Their old friends want them to be the same way they always have been but a sober person is not always the same when you are used to a drunk or high person. Friends no longer know how to handle you and you no longer know how to handle them. It puts you in a little pickle. An uncomfortable spot that you don’t know how to act differently and the old you would just go grab a beer and move forward but you are now trying to not grab that beer. You miss your friends and your people you know you want to be different but how can you? How do you live one way and change midstream?

I do not have that answer! I wish I did because right now I am faced with a similar situation. My “addiction” however is the addiction to taking the path of least resistance. That is not always the right path or the best path! In reality it is usually much the opposite! I have in my life tried to do what is “right” or best in my life but I think, in some situations, I have chosen what was easy. Not all decisions and sometimes, most times I have come out on the other side to finally make the decision that was right after putting up with negativity, and bull shit for too long! I have self sacrificed my sanity and happiness sometimes in my work and my business and sometimes in my relationship and as a mom and volunteer. I have not always been the best at getting the best for myself. Well, that’s about to change, it needs to change. The hardest part of that is knowing what is the best. Separating what is best from what you really want or what is easy and convenient. How do you know if it’s what you SHOULD do or if it’s what you WANT to do? Some things are easy like you shouldn’t eat a whole chocolate cake when you feel bad about yourself, but others hard, like deciding weather to buy the perfect house in the wrong location or the perfect location with the wrong house. Neither is really wrong one is best in one category and the other is the best in the other category and only you can decide which category is most important!

This blog post is not about giving advice or an answer for this. NOPE! It takes you knowing yourself, truly knowing yourself. Being able to decipher the right decision takes you getting right with no one else but you! If you are anything like me that is the toughest thing you will do on this planet. I can have it all figured out in my head when I out on a run (that is when I solve world problems) or when I am by myself but then when faced with it in real life I choke. I struggle knowing the difference between what I want and/or need and what I think I am supposed to want and/or need. The beauty in most things in life is you can change your mind, you can always change your direction. It is hard, but Possible. I must also mention making life decisions when you are a parent is, it affects your kids not just you. My goal in life is to give my kids the best life has to offer. To grow them in a happy environment with little need for therapy when they become adults. I can change my mind and make my life better at any moment but does that harm them? That’s what muddies the water of making the best decision for me. I truly believe the best decision for you, is also the best decision for your children regardless.So really that shouldn’t (there I go should-ing again) affect your personal decision.

The best decision for you IS the best decision for you. Have faith in yourself (there I go giving advice, advice I don’t take very well myself) take time in making decisions but always know as hard as it is to make the decision there are not many that you can’t go back and change. However, I personally, would prefer to do it right the first time! Time heals all, right? Time is the piece I always forget when I am faced with decisions that are hard, it takes time. I will give myself time, this time. I will follow through and I will make the best decision based on everything, not just how I feel right now, five days ago, last night or tomorrow night but based on what I think after some time has passed and WHEN I KNOW it is the best/right decision for me. They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. I am usually forced to make decisions in the right now, how do we create change now?! Well, this time I am going to wait and try it and see what will happen before I decide. I’ve got this, I am sure if you are reading this it will resonate with you and you will do the same. So here is to us creating change in our lives by giving it time. Time to decide and having faith in ourselves, knowing what is right when we know what is right and then doing it. We will do what is right, not what is easy but what is hard. It is what is BEST!

#Change2016

 

 

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Dad’s Birthday 2016

28 Saturday May 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Family, Live in the Moment

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Be Happy, Enjoy every moment with your kids, Love, Miss My Dad, Savor every moment, Tomorrow Is Never Promised

image

Today is/was my dad’s birthday. He today would’ve been 76 years old. If you didn’t know my dad past away January 2000 from a brain tumor from Metastasized Lung Cancer. I miss my dad a lot. I’m sad for so many things I have done that he never got to see.

He did not get to see the Girl ever. She was so pretty when she was born. She is getting g ready to start Jr High in September. I have shed a few tears in the last few days after the last elementary assembly where she was awarded a Global Thinker and Caring award as well as a Presidential Award for Academic Excellence. How did she turn out so good? I am so proud. He never got to meet her or the Boy.

I know he would be proud and I know he was in a lot of pain from his illness when he died. However, I can’t help but be sad that I don’t have a Dad who can see what I have become and what my children have become and be proud and then he would tell me. I know, selfish.

I am going to do my best to not leave my family early, and do my best to take in every moment. I am never sad for passing moments and milestones with my kids, I am proud of them and I try to be there to take it a in. You can slow down or turn back time. You can only enjoy the moment while it is here. Right now, I am enjoying it all. Life is crazy and busy and sometimes turned upside down but I love every minute. Without passing of time you don’t have memories to sit back and be fond of. I love my family, I live my life. I am proud of my kids. As well as proud of my husband and and I for staying out of the way enough for them to have turned out pretty well!

I miss my dad, but I know everything about him even him dying when I was 21 has shaped me to be the person I am. I miss him I am sad my kids could never meet him, but I am happy I had him for 21 years and Thankful for him.

#Recomitt2016

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I Am Happy Doing What I Am Doing

02 Thursday Jul 2015

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be You, Do You

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Acceptance, Be Happy, Do You

Do-what-makes-you-happy-and-dont-care-what-others-think

Hello Thursday! Today was a busy productive day! This week really has been productive as well as busy! I am really feeling the working mom thing! I loved being a stay at home mom (and I miss parts of it even though I still call myself a stay at home mom who works) but I missed having an identity outside of being “just a mom” (there is nothing wrong with being “just a mom” though) and our kids and family is not getting any cheaper! I feel slightly hypocritical being back at work and really taking on the busy working mom thing full force. I have been working 4 days a week at the massage office and then 2 days a week at the bar. I have also been doing the errands and homemaker stuff. My kids have been given chores each day when I work to helping out with the whole homemaker part. They are doing alright with that too.

I do not work “fulltime” outside the home, however (when the fuck do full time working moms take their kids to the doctor or go grocery shopping?!)  I have no extra time to drink coffee and get ready for the day anymore! I feel so overwhelmed as a stay at home mom but I was able to do what I needed when I was ready and on my schedule, now I have no time to acclimate to the day. Now it’s up and off to work, come home for lunch to check on the kids (if and only if I have time between appointments) go back to work maybe grab groceries for dinner then run the boy to baseball stay and watch (which I am not doing today I decided to go to the grocery store and do my writing) then come home maybe have a snack send the kids to bed and I am exhausted and don’t know when I am going to catch up on the dishes. Wait, I have the kids do the dishes and laundry one day my clothes will actually get hung up and I will actually be organized….. probably not!

And to top it all off I have been requested by one of the Senior bartenders to help with some promotions at the bar. We want to attract a more sophisticated (by sophisticated I mean older) crowd. We want to teach them to drink cocktails, not just whiskey and coke or flavored vodka and soda. So we have an idea to have one night a week that is a band night (probably Saturday) then once a month we will have a “theme night” sort of party where we all dress up and encourage the people to dress up if it fits the theme. For example one idea we have is a Speak Easy where we would dress up Prohibition Gangster Flapper style and have vintage cocktails like an Old Fashion or other prohibition time type drinks (we will research in advance). The party would be a Friday later in the Month with drink specials and fun stuff going on like a costume contest or a featured band that matches the theme… Anyway I am excited about this because I love to plan parties and make cocktails and learn and teach new cocktails. And I will enjoy marketing these things too. So tonight Senior bartender and I are meeting with Owner to discuss and present our ideas. So after I post this I will start planning themes out and activities to go along with the themes and drink ideas to go with them. Hoping Owner will be on board and let us run with the ideas and let us take off with it! I am excited and looking forward to this adventure and hope this little town of mine will like our idea and come out and support our bar!

nat-do_more_of_what_makes_you_happy_sign-01Busy times in this house with this Homemaker who is feeling adventurous and loving life! I am doing what makes me happy and loving it! Sex Love and Washing Clothes started out slightly differently than where I am now but I am happy. Through all my tiredness I am loving life and enjoying this journey. That is what I want to teach and speak to all of you reading my blog! Be happy and Do You! When you do it may not be what you think. Or it may not be what you used to think it should be but if you are happy doing what you do….don’t change! Stop “shoulding” yourself and allow happiness.

I will need organization and planning help get through the craziness which is where I am now, I need to get that organized part down… I needed to get that part down when I was not working and now it is way more needed! I will get there, I promise!

Tonight I am excited to do day 2 of my July Challenge and I plan to start it off with some naked hot tub time with the Hub’s, I covered the Washing Clothes part with delegating it to the kids! Can you say Love?

#Everyday2015

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