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Tag Archives: Dance Life

This Growing up Thing is Hard on Me

05 Wednesday Jul 2017

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Be You, Dance, Dance Like No One is Watching, Do You, Live in the Moment, Parenting

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Dance, Dance Life, get over yourself, I love watching her dance!, I made her, Love, Mom Life, Parenting is Hard

Well, it has been a while since I have written. I can’t even remember when…to my loyal readers apologies. Today I am writing from Nationals. The Girl is competing in a Nationals Dance Competition. She is in 5 group numbers and a solo. Have I said how much I love to watch her dance? If you have read my blog you have read that a few times! This year the Girl turned 13, she is starting to become her own person. Not that she hasn’t always been her own person but she is just starting to grow up. She definitely wants her own identity. It used to be cute that everyone loved her mom and loved her mom being around but now it’s just not. Not to her anyway. The older dancers are still super sweet to me and seem to understand my pain when I am shunned by my daughter but the Girl just wants to grow her wings. I need to get out of her way and let her make a name for her.

This dance year I have decided it is my job to support her. Many things I hear my Coach Husband say is that parents just need to get out of their kids way. I need to learn that lesson it has been my mom work this year. There is a dance instructor for Liz Imperio who teaches a class called Raising Successful Children that I started but got too busy to finish the webinar (which has been a theme in my life this year) and it’s focus was to guide us parents in how to get out of our children’s way. I love watching her grow, I love watching her dance! There is a part of me that is struggling letting go of that mommy role that needs to be there to protect and guide my child. She is growing up I have taught her to think for herself and stand up for what is right and to advocate for herself. She doesn’t need me to do that because I taught her to be strong in herself! I taught her to not define herself in what other people think of her. And she does not. She changes for no one. She is who she is, she likes what she likes and for the most part doesn’t care or waiver for anything. Not even for me! Sometimes I wish she would for me but I should be proud that she doesn’t. Sometimes she does waiver to fit in with her friends. I feel for her in those moments because I have spent my life doing that and that is not what I want for her! I want her to be her, even if it hurts my feelings.

How did I teach her to do that when I am not strong in myself? How can I be that strong human I am teaching her to be when I am not that strong human myself? I am proud that she is independent. I love who she is. Sometimes I wish there was less Diva but other times I am so proud of that diva because that Dive protects her when mean girls are mean. And that Diva protects the girl who is getting picked on in a group by my child being the one to stand up to the mean one in the place of the child who is getting picked on or feeling bad when that child is too weak. I am proud of that diva! I pray that when I stifle the diva for my feelings that I don’t stifle the good out of her diva! How was I able to teach her these things? I have no idea how, but I am proud she has learned them!

I am going through yet another identity crisis in parenting, and I don’t even know what it is. I am obviously still her mom and she needs me and I know deep down she wants me around, but she wants me to keep my distance and not over shadow who she is or what she does. I get it! I was there, I may still be there with my mom. When she needs me I will be there. I have seen this happen recently. She does talk to me like a friend sometimes and I to her but she also knows that she must do what she is told and what is expected of her. I don’t really believe in being your child’s best friend until they are adults anyway but sometimes she is mine. She is the only one who can’t leave me and would never think of it, I think… Anyway, I want her to continue to grow in success and keep that diva spunk that will take her far and I just have to get over myself!

Now I have to go watch her solo I am so excited to see her dance! I love watching her on stage and in her element. It is her happy place I am so glad she has dance for that, lord knows she needs a place of her own to just BE. I love her!

#Dance2017dance parent

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My Little Dancer is not So Little Anymore

10 Friday Jun 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be You, Dance, Dance Like No One is Watching, Do You, Love, Mom Stuff

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Dance Life, Dance Mom, Love My Girl, Passion, Persevere through the hard time, Proud Mom, This is what I pay for!, You Have To Watch The Dance

image

Today is Dress rehearsal day! The Girl has one dance her ballet dance that they dance with scarves. Her first ever dance onstage was 10 years ago and they danced with scarves it was really reminiscent. I love watching her dance. I thought I saw something special in her that day on stage, but every parent sees something special in their kids on stage at that age!

All I wanted for her was to enjoy it and let it be her fun and her outlet and let her enjoy it! All I wanted was to find what made her heart smile! I think it does, she loves to dance but sometimes dance gets overwhelming and filled with drama and she gets a diva attitude! But onstage she release that energy that captivates me! That captivates her. She is a star! She is my shining star! I don’t know if there really is something special about her, more than being my daughter and a good dancer but I don’t care. There is something special about her. I love to see it I love to watch her dance!

I can’t wait to see where she goes in life she will go far! Maybe on a stage maybe in a classroom but I am thankful for dance giving her the confidence to be great and know when she is great. And for giving her the outlet that she needs to express herself, release frustrations of the drama of being a girl and a great dancer in a pool of good dancers.

I just love watching her dance. I hate seeing some of the logistical things hold her back. I want her to unleash her passion for dance (or whatever outlet she chooses) I want to see when that girl opens up and stops caring what people think about her, I want to see that how amazing will that be. She is one judgemental insecure friend away from that! I wish she could shut to voices out of her brain. She is amazing come watch her dance and you will see. I could not be more proud of who she is and what she can achieve. I just pray for road blocks to be removed from her journey to greatness and that she overcomes the struggle!

I love my Girl!

#Recommit2016

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