Tag Archives: Dance

Superbowl Sunday

05 Monday Feb 2018

Posted by in Dance, Football, Uncategorized

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I forgot I haven’t posted yet, so it seems irrelevant but here is Sunday’s post… Unedited too…

Happy Superbowl Day! I am at a dance convention worth the Gurl there has been the same dance studio drama for the last few years and nothing changes. I am frustrated because I said at this time last year that I would go through this again. I had meeting with teachers and studio owners only for the same dance drama to happen again with no changes, actually something’s have gotten worse. If we left the studio last year for a new one we would be settled and established at a new location right now I feel stuck my girl went from being excited about this dance weekend saying, “maybe I will come back next year”, to “this is probably my last year here.” It sucks when you pay for a service and are let down by the said service providers. I really want them to come through but lack of professionalism and disregard for what we as “customers” are paying for is disappointing to say the least. Obviously there are a lot of emotions and subjectivity involved because it involves our children, but flat out lies and disregard for structure is what is so frustrating! Anyway, I don’t want my daughter to lose her love for dance because the people who are supposed to be guiding her are more concerned with their own lives than they are with their business, this is a business trip for them (and the dancers and their families), they seem to be treating it like a vacation.

Anyway today is the happiest day of the year!!!! It is Superbowl!!! I just have to say The Patriots are so fucking good. Annoyingly good! I have always hated the Patriots! The one time I had then in the Superbowl for a win is when they fucking lost! I hate how Tom Brady got the spot from Drew Bledsoe the year Drew was injured and I have hated him ever since. However, I can’t deny how good they have been! I won’t say best of all time because I can’t! I don’t think Tom Brady is Better than Peyton Manning I don’t even want to hear the number of rings argument. How many does Dan Marino have? He is still a Hall of Fame QB but I’m a hater!

I’m going to End this with #GoHawks I am Seahawks fan to the core.

#SLWC2018

What Was I Thinking?

27 Saturday Jan 2018

Posted by in Be You, Dance, Dance Like No One is Watching, Mom Stuff, Raising Kids

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don't forget you love danceI really don’t know what I was thinking when I thought that I would blog during a dance convention. The Girl is at her first convention of the season. She has been injured so she missed the convention part of the last one her team did. She has sat out 2 of the classes so far because of pain, but is now in the last class of the day which is Hip Hop. I love watching her dance and I love watching these instructors teach. I brought a book to read, my Surface to blog and of course there is always the social media distraction on my phone, and all my mom friends. I really don’t need any distraction! I would be quite content just watching!

I am enjoying watching the Girl dance and sad that she is still having some knee pain. I hope that she can overcome this and dance to her hearts content witout pain. I want her to enjoy  her hobby. Not to mention she is so good, I want the world to see her!

I am super excited that I get to watch her solo tonight. She has sheltered me from seeing any of it. She chose a song from the newest Linkin Park album. She was selecting songs and this was my favorite of the top three. She of course didn’t select it because of that, if she knew it was my fave, she probably would have probably taken it off her list. (She is so much a teenage girl right now, “don’t let mom see I am having fun and no way will I enjoy something she suggests.”) She is dancing to “Nobody Can Save Me” She was listening to it today and I almost started crying just listening to the words and everything that is that song; What happend with Chester, emotions and her dancing to it! OMG so powerful. That whole album is so emotional. It was the last one before Chester Bennington committed suicide he wrote at least part of it for Chris Cornell who also committed suicide. I have listened to that album different since Chester passed away and have thought, “it sounds like a really detailed and long suicide note.”

Then my crazy mom head goes…she’s not depressed or having suicidal thoughts is she? Am I there for her enough? Is this teenage girl attitude really normal or a warning sign? It is  normal, right? I think so. I am doing my best to let her be who she is. There is fine balance, I hope to continue to walk the tight rope, that she likes me enough to come to me in times she needs someone but hates me enough to be a normal teenager…I let her be who she is, I love that girl. She talks about her feelings but she holds a lot in too. I think dance helps her ‘express’ herself but sometimes she holds back especially when I am watching. I can’t wait to see her solo and I hope she is going to put her emotion into it and I think it will be phenomenal!

I am really enjoying watching her learn and get into the new moves she is learning and having to adjust to protect that injured knee but as I watch her I can tell she is loving it. In her movements she is happy. It is so refreshing to watch. What is fun about these routines is that they can learn them and just dance. They don’t have to worry about being judged or performing it, they get to just have fun with it! They need more time like this to just dance for the love of dance.

Anyway, I am going back to watching dance! This is what I pay for right?!

#SLWC2018

 

This Growing up Thing is Hard on Me

05 Wednesday Jul 2017

Posted by in Be Present, Be You, Dance, Dance Like No One is Watching, Do You, Live in the Moment, Parenting

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Well, it has been a while since I have written. I can’t even remember when…to my loyal readers apologies. Today I am writing from Nationals. The Girl is competing in a Nationals Dance Competition. She is in 5 group numbers and a solo. Have I said how much I love to watch her dance? If you have read my blog you have read that a few times! This year the Girl turned 13, she is starting to become her own person. Not that she hasn’t always been her own person but she is just starting to grow up. She definitely wants her own identity. It used to be cute that everyone loved her mom and loved her mom being around but now it’s just not. Not to her anyway. The older dancers are still super sweet to me and seem to understand my pain when I am shunned by my daughter but the Girl just wants to grow her wings. I need to get out of her way and let her make a name for her.

This dance year I have decided it is my job to support her. Many things I hear my Coach Husband say is that parents just need to get out of their kids way. I need to learn that lesson it has been my mom work this year. There is a dance instructor for Liz Imperio who teaches a class called Raising Successful Children that I started but got too busy to finish the webinar (which has been a theme in my life this year) and it’s focus was to guide us parents in how to get out of our children’s way. I love watching her grow, I love watching her dance! There is a part of me that is struggling letting go of that mommy role that needs to be there to protect and guide my child. She is growing up I have taught her to think for herself and stand up for what is right and to advocate for herself. She doesn’t need me to do that because I taught her to be strong in herself! I taught her to not define herself in what other people think of her. And she does not. She changes for no one. She is who she is, she likes what she likes and for the most part doesn’t care or waiver for anything. Not even for me! Sometimes I wish she would for me but I should be proud that she doesn’t. Sometimes she does waiver to fit in with her friends. I feel for her in those moments because I have spent my life doing that and that is not what I want for her! I want her to be her, even if it hurts my feelings.

How did I teach her to do that when I am not strong in myself? How can I be that strong human I am teaching her to be when I am not that strong human myself? I am proud that she is independent. I love who she is. Sometimes I wish there was less Diva but other times I am so proud of that diva because that Dive protects her when mean girls are mean. And that Diva protects the girl who is getting picked on in a group by my child being the one to stand up to the mean one in the place of the child who is getting picked on or feeling bad when that child is too weak. I am proud of that diva! I pray that when I stifle the diva for my feelings that I don’t stifle the good out of her diva! How was I able to teach her these things? I have no idea how, but I am proud she has learned them!

I am going through yet another identity crisis in parenting, and I don’t even know what it is. I am obviously still her mom and she needs me and I know deep down she wants me around, but she wants me to keep my distance and not over shadow who she is or what she does. I get it! I was there, I may still be there with my mom. When she needs me I will be there. I have seen this happen recently. She does talk to me like a friend sometimes and I to her but she also knows that she must do what she is told and what is expected of her. I don’t really believe in being your child’s best friend until they are adults anyway but sometimes she is mine. She is the only one who can’t leave me and would never think of it, I think… Anyway, I want her to continue to grow in success and keep that diva spunk that will take her far and I just have to get over myself!

Now I have to go watch her solo I am so excited to see her dance! I love watching her on stage and in her element. It is her happy place I am so glad she has dance for that, lord knows she needs a place of her own to just BE. I love her!

#Dance2017dance parent

It’s Show Day!

05 Saturday Dec 2015

Posted by in Dance Like No One is Watching, Football, Volunteering

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Happy Show Day!!! I worked a full day at the massage office, then had our dance show, then Volunteer Banquet for Pee Wee Football!

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We are now heading for an after party! Apologies for not writing more but my Dance show and dancing at the banquet with biddies has rescued my Fucked day at the office!

Have a good night folks, I will have wisdom and detail tomorrow!

#Everyday2015

You Can Always Be Better

28 Saturday Nov 2015

Posted by in Cleaning, Homemaker, Live life, Love, Schedule, Self Care, Washing Clothes

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Hello Saturday! We have almost nothing scheduled. The Hub’s and his buddies played their turkey bowl today. I normally like to go and watch and see the guys but I decided to be more responsible and stay home and clean. My house needed some time from me cleaning. It still needs more but my attention span is over it. I still have to put a ton of laundry away. Maybe I can get the hubs to help with that!

This is going to sound weird but it was actually nice to get some time to clean up my kitchen and my house. All I did was dishes wipe down counter tops and dinning room table ect. I have a couple piles of paperwork to go through but it was nice to be cleaning I enjoyed the homemaker feeling again. Then I got sad that I don’t have more time to do that stuff. I enjoy the extra money I make working my two jobs but I wish, schedule wise, I had more freedom or could figure out how to better to manage my time!

Being super busy does not help. Every weekend we have stuff to do. Today is abnormal that we have nothing planned. Next weekend is show weekend and also a banquet for football volunteers that I have been very involved in organizing and they are on the same night! Shit! How am going to be two places at once? I guess I will be late to the banquet and hopefully there will still be peopleAlways compete be better there that I want to see and that there will still be food there! The event runs 5-11 and the show starts at 6 and I think it is supposed to be an hour and a half. So I am thinking we could probably get to the banquet by 8:30 or 9:00. Then Saturday we have a bazaar fundraiser that I am supposed to be sewing some hand warmer covers to sell for fundraising for dance but I think this year we will skip it. Our fundraiser for dance is me working two jobs! But I like doing crafty things so it is sad that I don’t really have time for it right now.

Anyway I am enjoying this down time I have today. I love being busy but I also love being able to fill my time with cleaning when I want to or crafting when I’d like to. I miss making cakes for everyone’s birthdays too. But I have to say is I am happy to be able to help financially with the family maybe one day I will be an owner and can hire people to work for me and then maybe, work less and do more of what I want… that will probably retirement! I don’t want to sound like I am complaining, I am not! I love my life. I love my family. We all should be happy where we are and do our best to be where we want to be but in the meantime love the life we have. I love my work, I love being busy, I love being able to have my daughter in dance, my son active, have season tickets and nope have to worry if we can afford new shoes. I do still take the time for myself to dance and enjoy life (I, like most people, should probably take more time for self care). Life is good! That doesn’t mean I want some things to be different or better. It’s that ‘Always Compete’ motto in life there is always room for improvement, never settle but always work hard to be better!

#Everyday2015

Dance Until You Find Your You

15 Tuesday Sep 2015

Posted by in Dance, Dance Like No One is Watching, Do You

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Yesterday I went back to dance for the first time since this summer! I have been so busy with football and just enjoying my family on the nights that I could so dance got pushed aside! Being Monday, The Hub’s is teaching and The Girl is dancing and luckily the boy had a buddy at dance to hang out with. Which made it a perfect night for me to be at dance. At first I felt like an outsider, the girls who had danced all summer had their little secret inside jokes and I felt left out. Once we got into actual dancing I put all of that out of my mind and checked in to me! It was Modern and we had an exercise that we were supposed to feel the music and the instructor would tell us what body part to move from.

IDance it out totally got into the music. This is why I dance! Everyone, everything, went away and I just felt the music. The teacher said to me “nice facials Ruby!” and I realized my face was showing the emotions inside of me. I was about to cry! Full of emotions that I don’t really know what they mean. I have been so busy that I haven’t been able to think feel or even know what any of that really is! When I was dancing I wasn’t thinking about my feelings or even knowing what I was feeling. I was just dancing! I even very smoothly went into the splits, just like a real dancer! (I didn’t even know what I was doing and then I was like WOW! Check me out!)

How can I be expressive in my dance when I don’t know what I am trying to express of feel or anything! The answer is “It doesn’t matter!” The idea that you have got know what you are expressing in my opinion is so untrue. Sometimes your dance will mean one thing to you and then something completely different to the person watching it! And that is perfectly okay. Just let what is inside of you flow out. When you have choreography, yes, you should know what your dance is supposed to mean, but that doesn’t mean the person watching it will get the same out of it. They will get what they need. So when you are free styling just dance what feels right!

I am so glad I got to dance last night! I so needed it and I am so glad I will be getting that every single Monday night. No football to interfere and The Hub’s is at work so I won’t feel like I am missing out on time with him and the Boy has a buddy who he can hang with while I am dancing and the Girl is dancing at the same time. So operation dance until you feel yourself is in full swing!

I love that I have dance even if it is only one night a week I hope and think it will help me to stay balanced and stay me for at least that one night a week that I get to dance, maybe I can squeeze in a little more dance or me stuff during the week!

Dance like no one is watching!

#Everyday2015

Vacation Time Out

27 Monday Jul 2015

Posted by in Baseball, Dance, Family, Football

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This is how this bartender travels! Yes, I brought enough lemons and limes for three friends, but who knows how many drinks I will want…I probably have more lemons and limes than Vodka!

I will grab some more vodka at home since we will be taking a timeout from vacation to take the Boy to football camp back home. A 2.5 hour drive each way for a 1.5 hour camp. Yes we are a crazy football family. Is this really news to anyone?

While we were home the girl went to her Gym class at dance and landed 9 aerials in a row! She could have gone longer but we were all ready to go to dinner! She has been working on it for a while and landed one orntwo last week but couldn’t repeat it… Well today she got it! 9 in a row!

We were here long enough for camp and gym and the went to dinner at our favorite restaurants in our town. I may have had enough wine to make me a little tipsy (2 glasses), enough to make me want to send the Hubs to get me more wine! But I won’t. We are watching the M’s game now and will send the kids to bed and tomorrow do some PeeWee things then take the Boy to his second and final day of camp and then head back to vacation at the Ocean!

Today was a great day before we left the Beach I had some Yoga on the beach the kids flew kites and drove RC cars. I got sunburned, the Hubs broke his RC car and fixed it…even though we spent a lot of the day driving we had a good vacation day!

Hoping to see LoMo hit a game winner right now …walked!!!! What?! Wild pitch!

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This family is having fun even though we are at home and not in our trailer, I love vacation…even though we are at home we are all sitting together on the couch together, now waiting for Zunino to hit a walk off.  No one usually cares this much about baseball! It vacation back to the family! 

Zunino hits a base hit for the tie! Nice hit! We get extra innings!

#Everyday2015

Respect…Teach It!

20 Saturday Jun 2015

Posted by in Dance, Family, Parenting, Raising Kids, Respect

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Today is show day! I have posted the last few days about dance! I love dancing and love performing and being on stage. I love watching my kids on stage and in their element! Today is that day we get to do it!

Wait, Hold please this literally just happened as I was starting this post! ~OMG I just asked the Boy to unload the dishwasher as I was starting to write. My plan was to have him unload and then the Girl load the dirty dished that need to be put in the dishwasher. He asked “Can the Girl help me” I said “No! You can do what I asked and not worry about what the Girl is doing!” I am so tired of the kids thinking that it is so painful to do what they are asked when they are asked it’s like they afraid to work and put effort into this house and helping out, especially when they think they are the only ones doing it! Because that’s what I do you know, I only have one kid do work the other gets to play and have no chores they are the favored one! Will they ever realize that it is not all “Mom’s show” I work areal job now (actually two) and even if I didn’t work they could help out! They need to learn to do chores because when they grow up they won’t have me to fall back on to dpi t if they decide not to! They know one day mom will just do it because that is what I do when they don’t it may take a few days but I get tired of asking and tired of the Hub’s complaining about suit not being done so I just say “Fuck It” and do it myself. Today I am home to watch them not do what I asked, so I call them out and then they back talk…. This week I have not been home to watch them or call them out. Surprisingly enough, when I left them alone one day they got more of what I asked done than the day Gramma came and hung out.

Am I asking too much? I don’t think so! I want my kids to respect me and do what I ask the first time! Seriously, this happened right as I was going to write about how happy I am today being show day, so disappointing! Why do my kidsbc6926c20a648243cb20e5a2fc638b4b think that I don’t deserve respect. Is it because I let other people walk all over me. The kids see me feeling bad that I am not perfect around the house so that opens up doubt and they pounce like a sneaky tiger and bam I am caught off guard and usually filled with guilt. They hear the Hub’s complain to me about me not having house work done so, do they think that it is my job and they shouldn’t have to do it? As the mom I am tasked with grocery shopping and cleaning and cooking and organizing the house functions but that doesn’t mean it is all “MY” work! It is my job to make this family flow and sometimes that means me asking my kids or husband to help get tasks accomplished around the house when I can’t get it done. It has nothing to do with me being a slacker! I know I am nothing even close to a slacker! Yes I choose to write sometimes instead of put laundry away but even that doesn’t make me a slacker. There are only so many hours a day and so many days a week! There are 4 people who live here and it takes more than just one, even if she is a super mom, to keep this place running smoothly!

With that said, I need to go put laundry away in my room and get ready for the show tonight! I am super excited for the show I love Dancing (see yesterday’s post) Can’t wait for my moment on stage tonight! Maybe, just maybe, I might be able to sneak back and watch my kids… Probably not hopefully the video gets done fast so I can watch it!!! I miss watching my kids, since I am dancing I also volunteer to help keep the little dancers safe while they are not on stage and their parents can watch them. I miss that part, the watching on my kids on stage part! Oh well! I will sit and watch the video with the kids. I need to try to make it a special event, more on that later! Happy Show Day!

#Everyday2015

I Love To Dance

19 Friday Jun 2015

Posted by in Be Present, Be You, Dance, Dance Like No One is Watching, Do Your Thing, Family, Kids, Live in the Moment

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I love performing! I love being on stage! I love dancing! I love the powerful feeling of putting myself on stage to show what I do! I love seeing my kids being confident enough to be on stage!

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I love seeing them love being on stage! I love dance for giving me a reason to be dressed up made up, hair done and under the lights! I love dancing to be the real me and escape the real world and sometimes to escape the real me! That’s why I dance to get away from the world and closer to me. I put myself out there real and raw and honest! I LOVE DANCE! I am proud of myself and my kids who also dance! I love dancing! I love show Weekend!

That is all!!!
#Everyday2015

I Love To Dance

19 Friday Jun 2015

Posted by in Be Present, Be You, Dance, Dance Like No One is Watching, Do Your Thing, Family, Kids, Live in the Moment

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I love performing! I love being on stage! I love dancing! I love the powerful feeling of putting myself on stage to show what I do! I love seeing my kids being confident enough to be on stage!

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I love seeing them love being on stage! I love dance for giving me a reason to be dressed up made up, hair done and under the lights! I love dancing to be the real me and escape the real world and sometimes to escape the real me! That’s why I dance to get away from the world and closer to me. I put myself out there real and raw and honest! I LOVE DANCE! I am proud of myself and my kids who also dance! I love dancing! I love show Weekend!

That is all!!!
#Everyday2015