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Tag Archives: Focus

Getting Going Slow

09 Tuesday Jan 2018

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Be You, Marriage is hard, Marriage is work, New Year, Take the time to take care of yourself

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dismissed ticket, Focus, I was speeding, more tomorrow, Reminders save my life or at least my driving record, Slow start to 2018, Thankful for The Hubs

this is the beginningOkay so here I am Monday evening just now blogging. I really need to work on scheduling writing in before the end of the day. Except today was different slightly here I was I got up took the 5:30 am spin class at the gym. As I was basking in my exercise high dreaming of taking a run after the kids go to school the Hubs texted me “check you court date” I have a court date for a speeding ticket that I got back in November. I contested it as the officer put the wrong license plate number on my ticket. You see I accidentally gave him the registration for our travel trailer instead of the truck. So on the ticket it said “I authorize that I was driving this vehicle license #……” well since I wasn’t driving that license plate number vehicle I could not in good conscious sign that ticket as committing that infraction. I had a whole argument ready about said technicality however I didn’t need it. Apparently when a ticket is contested officers have to file an affidavit stating their case and the proof of how they caught you speeding etc the officer did not file an affidavit so my case was dismissed before I even had to pull out my evidence.

So thanks to the Hubs I am one speeding ticket less on my record and my day to work on the house turned into a half day. My original plan was going to be spin class, writing the a 3 mile run and then cake cabinet organizing. But it turned into driving 2.5 hours and half day to organize and here I am at 11pm blogging. Oh well at least it’s done.

Yesterday the Hubs and Kids and I went to see Star Wars again then went to dinner at a hibachi style restaurant. While we were there we talked New Year’s Resolution. We all stated some of our goals for the year. Some of us are already a day later working on round two of trying again. I have already wrote about my goals but the kids added a fun one we have a plan for one just because” family day a month and they added one chore day a month to do things like washing windows or scrubbing bath tubs. The Girl is the one who picked that and the Boy agreed, The Hubs looked a little scared but was still down. It was nice to have a little family time to talk with all of our phones put away. I am looking forward to more of that in 2018.

I made my bed today (one of my resolutions that the kids laughed at) went to the gym. Am still one higher than the day of the year on sex so today I am at 9 and haven’t even had sex yet. Still have 0 miles running but am looking forward to getting started.

One of the best things about 2018 is The Hubs and I have not had on big fight. Even tonight we had a discussion that got heated but we stayed calm and focused and got through it with out a knock down drag out! He would say it’s because I’m not yelling or I have done something different like having sex every day but really he is getting more patient. He is being more patient and understanding and all he says is that it’s because I have changed…weird. Honestly, it doesn’t matter the fact that we are getting along better having the fun times we have together and not the shitty arguments that showed up in 2017 about once a week is a nice change regardless of why!

Anyway here’s to 2018 and getting moving on the Goals or Resolutions and actually starting the 2018 movement! I will work on my schedule and be here tomorrow!

#Everyday2018

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Live Stop Worrying

27 Monday Mar 2017

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Be You, Do You, Don't judge me, Family, Love, Uncategorized

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Balance, Don't Judge Me, Embrace life, Focus, Live Laugh Love, Stop worrrying, why can I trust life, Why can't I Just relax and enjoy life, worried something bad is happening

worryingHello followers, let me start by saying. I am struggling.  Acutely today I have so much on my mind, so much that has happened, so much I want to accomplish and so much to write and share (because I haven’t written much lately)  and also some to keep private and not write about (we all know that is hard for me not to over share) and since I haven’t been blogging much this may be a little disjointed, I mean, more than normal. I was asked the other day to remove my filter…they obviously don’t read my blog or maybe they do because they know it’s possible for me to do so. But yes, in real life I have this filter. Call it a mask of sometime professionalism, sometimes shyness, just a filter that I don’t say everything I am afraid to be judged or I want to make sure I am being appropriate…I don’t really know why. So hear goes sans filter Ruby is going to spill and hopefully today organize my thoughts and life and get back on track where I want to be. And for you I hope you can be inspired by my thoughts either by realizing you are not as messed as me or by realizing you are not alone out there.

Why the fuck is it so hard to just live? I want to do so much but for some reason I am so tired. I get going and then my energy fizzles out. Today I wanted to get in a run, do some admin business stuff, some billing and returning phone calls, also wanted to clean and organize at the house catch up with laundry. This morning was a great breakfast. I was able to get the kids lunches made, then I made them breakfast. I made eggs, English muffin toast, strawberries and smoothies for the kids. The boy we struggle with eating and he ate his whole breakfast today. I was on a roll. Then they both got to school and I got home and had to do some computer stuff. Then it was almost 10:00 and I had to decide what to do…go for a run, or get ready and get to a business networking thing at 11:30 or do something else like clean or write in my blog…

Why the fuck can’t I just make the right choice for myself? Why don’t I do what I want to do to get me closer to where I want to be. I want to be a great mom that takes care of her family by cooking and cleaning and having a relaxed calm home environment. I also want to have a successful business and sometimes that means making sacrifices at home but I hate choosing which has to sacrifice. Balance is just not always an option!! But it has to be! We need balance to be healthy! Everyone does! Sometimes I feel like I am getting it and then the next day shit hits the fan and I am feeling fucked and not in a good way! I just want to figure life out why this fuck is it so hard?!

And why is it that when I feel like I have things under control the bottom drops out? So even when things are good, really things are pretty goo right now. Business is doing alright, life is good the Hubs and I are getting along and happy but this is how I felt in December when my life got turned upside down! I was getting in the groove of working the business, The Hubs and I were happy. I had some great (I thought) friends in my life all was well. Then the bottom dropped out. I am kind of waiting for that to happen right now. Life has really felt like it has slowed down. You know the way that commentators talk about the game slowing down for rookies in the NFL. Nothing changes they just get used to seeing the speed of the NFL vs College etc. Life has really felt like it’s slowed down and we are in the midst of competition and tournament season! What horrible thing is about to happen or has already happened that I am about to find out? Why the fuck do I have to think this way? Why can’t I relax and enjoy life? Why can’t I remove the filter? What am I afraid of?

PLAN: Here is my plan what I want anyway. I want to write more, exercise more, enjoy the moments I have with my family and have moments with myself and one on one time with the Hubs, and be successful in business so I can help my family do everything and have everything we want. Just that sentence brings tears to my eyes because it feels like so much and I am sad I have to say it out loud, how did I let myself get here away from these things? I should plan time for everything. Time for writing and exercising in my schedule and push myself to follow it. Get my house cleaned up and organized and then take time to keep it that way and having the business I may need to hire a housecleaner to help keep up on the house thing. I need a better plan and more than just giving myself grace I need to trust myself when I am feeling like things are slowing down. The game really is slowing down for me! I need to accept that. It’s time to pass the ball to my trusted teammates and manage this game in a way that will most benefit the team! I need to be MVP in my life so my team can win and winning is when we are all happy and healthy and enjoying life! That is balance!

What the fuck did I just say?! I really need to stay focused and push myself to get where I want to be and I need to pass the ball to those who can advance our life when needed. I need to stop worrying about the lineman who is going to hit me from the blindside and focus on the play and execute! I have a team to support me and need to use that. But it’s my job to manage this game I can and I will rock this. I need to allow myself to live and enjoy and celebrate the good times and stop worrying!

#Live2017

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Plan Focus Give Grace

26 Sunday Feb 2017

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Cleaning, Connection, Family, Friends, Homemaker, Live in the Moment, Marriage is work, Organization, Parenting, Planning, Raising Kids, Schedule, Working Mom

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Faimily, Focus, Give grace!, give yourself grace, Grace, Life is Hard, Live, Love, Make a plan, stick to it

Hello Readers,

I have to confess, I have had a rough go lately. The Hubs and I have been struggling. It’s hard for me to write encouraging posts when I don’t feel so positive it is hard for me to write positive without feeling like a fake. So, with that said, I am feeling more positive, I know that I may be having some sort of depression or anxiety and need to pay attention and not get lost in it. I am going to be going back to counseling on my own and I will be checking in with my GP about some tummy issues I’ve been having, to keep my health a priority and take care of me. As a person, as a mom, as a wife and a health care provider it is hard to serve in your roll if you feel down and ineffective. Like they say it is impossible to serve from an empty vessel.

empty-vesselIn my life in the last week I have had some clarity of mind to realize I need to focus on me. Not in a selfish way where you are “more important” than your family, that you are charged with taking care of, but in a way to be the healthiest you so your family can have a healthy mom, healthy wife and your clients can have a healthy provider coming from a place of love and caring. I have been so bogged down with stress in life that I am complaining a lot, offended easily and my brain gets flooded and I get angry easily. So much so that I don’t really recognize myself and then when the hubs and I get into “special moments” I feel like I turn into some monster that is not me! Then it spirals out of control! So I am taking control of me. Part of that is me getting back into blogging here. I want to encourage people who are or have been in my spot. Also it helps me to get my feelings out and helps me to help guide myself in a positive way, not just my readers. Plus entertaining readers with my Hump Day Challenges is a passion of mine that I have missed the last few weeks.

Another part is getting back to my life. I have been working a lot and losing site of what really matters. My work matters but there is a balance that needs to be heeded. A balance of working in my business (doing massage) as well as working on my business (admin stuff like billing and marketing). I love networking for marketing and I have a lot of friends that I network with but that networking time needs to be just that and sometimes the balance of networking and socializing line blurs and loses potency.

So to deter the blurred lines of friend time and networking time I plan to be more active in my life with friends. We all struggle balance with work and fun but it is important to stay in touch with your “people”. You know, the ones who can figure out your drunk text typos and actually answer or support you in those moments! So one part of this gaining balance and getting back to me is scheduling girlfriend time as well as date nights and family nights! All three is important as important as work time.

Another part is planning house work time. This is harder for me because really, who wants to do the bull shit tasks of cooking, cleaning and grocery shopping? Especially after work and taxiing around the kids after a full day of work? But if you ignore it or don’t plan it you end up with those “special moments” with the Hubs that no one really wants! So this next sentence is very important, You must plan with your family! Everyone in the family has a responsibility  for how the house runs! The Hubs and I have had some conversations on this and although we haven’t really planned it all out, we have made huge gains in this area. The Hubs has started helping with dishes and putting laundry away. There is much to be said about a person who actually steps up to handle the things that they hate not being done versus just complaining about it! So: MAKE A FAMILY PLAN ABOUT HOW YOUR HOUSE WILL BE RAN AND EVERYONE CONTRIBUTE! Talk about it and follow through.

So to sum up this long post:

  1. Take care of you if that means going to the doctor, counselor, journaling, exercising, What ever it is, make time!! My plan get back to counseling, exercise everyday (at least cardio), get to doctor about tummy issues, have grace with myself when I am overwhelmed!
  2. Schedule and stick to it you work and admin time in your business! My plan just get it admin and massage time on the books and don’t waiver regardless of the client and their schedule, make my schedule and family time as important as theirs. Balance!
  3. Schedule Date nights, family nights and time with “your people” My plan: Schedule girlfriend time once a month, Date nights weekly and actually go, Family nights or outings weekly
  4. Schedule House work and responsibilities! Everyone has a responsibility to participate it is not all on mom regardless if mom is a working mom stay at home. We need to teach our kids they have to contribute as well as the husbands. Talk about it and make a plan! My Plan: schedule family menu planning meetings, utilize Clicklist with preplanned menus. Give kids chores and follow through with them to do it on schedule before practices and dance.
  5. GIVE GRACE! Let everyone have a little grace with heavy stress load times of homework, busy work days and heavily scheduled tournaments or competitions. Everyone is trying hard to motivate through life! We all want what’s best for our family and ourselves and sometimes we need to take a nap instead of vacuum! As long as we are all doing our best when our family needs help lets lend a helping hand they will do the same for you when you need! Help each other out to get to the goal and enjoy the good moments like the tournament wins and realize sometimes those things come when the house is messy, but when those moments are over and we have down time we can catch up when we need to! As long as there is not mold growing on the dishes and the house isn’t burning down and there is a dance to watch or a game going on…take it in! Enjoy these busy crazy moments building a lives, growing children into adults, growing a business and creating a life! Make it happy!!!

Live the life you’ve imagined because remember in your dreams you saw the results not the work that it takes to get there! FOCUS on what is important. Family, friends, lives, and moments are important! Money and dishes and laundry will go away savor moments with your people!!!

#Live2017

 

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OH MY WORD!

04 Thursday Aug 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Business, Football, Organization, Planning, Working Mom

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Focus, I can do it!, Overwhelmed, So worth it, Starting my own business is a lot of work

FUCK!!!!  I forgot to write my Hump Day Challenge yesterday! I really need to get everything situated and settled and organized so I can get back to blogging everyday!

What if I flyI wish I was more organized! I wish I knew what I was doing! I wish I had time to do all this before I opened!

Well, that’s all I have time for today!!!! Well, I could go on but…nope gotta go! So much to do between starting this whole “My own business” thing and week one of Football…. Oh my goodness I promise tomorrow I will put in more time and give a good part of me in my blog and I will post random Hump Day Challenges on non “Hump  Days”

Hope you all are well and enjoying your summer! Love you all!

#OMG2016

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Found a Great Quote

11 Thursday Feb 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Everyday, Live in the Moment, Planning

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A good quote can change your mind, Do Quit, Everyday, Focus, I need to schedule life better, Need to start over the "Everyday thing"

Today was busy. I may need to reevaluate (aka quit) this whole everyday thing! For now here is a great quote. I cam across a lot of great quotes that I saved and some that I didn’t but this one was “The One” for today!

image

I need to some how teach this to my kids and practice this in my life! So, there will be no reevaluating, see you all tomorrow!

#Everyday2016

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Rematch! Let’s Get This!

29 Sunday Nov 2015

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in #GoHawks, Be Present, Family, Football, Just Do It, Seahawks

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Focus, Let's Do This!, Play off run, Seahawks, Win

image

Game day post!!! Happy Seahawk’s game day! It is a Superbowl 40 rematch! The Seahawk’s vs the Steelers. I would like to say there is no built up lingering animosity but there is a little. We have respect for that team but really want to prove who is boss here in Seattle! Looking forward to seeing our Hawks come out and play well. Play as a team focused!

Always compete! Be all in and get this win! I want to see the team that I know is there that can win on all sides of the ball! One things for sure we fans will show up! We will be loud and we will support! Always love and support and loyalty for our team! Go Hawks!

Let’s do this!! FYI pregame good luck ritual accomplished this morning! We got on the right ferry are at the right bar, we have done our part! Here we go Hawks!!! Let’s do this!!!!

#Everyday2015

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29 Sunday Nov 2015

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in #GoHawks, Be Present, Family, Football, Just Do It, Seahawks

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Focus, Let's Do This!, Play off run, Seahawks, Win

image

Game day post!!! Happy Seahawk’s game day! It is a Superbowl 40 rematch! The Seahawk’s vs the Steelers. I would like to say there is no built up lingering animosity but there is a little. We have respect for that team but really want to prove who is boss here in Seattle! Looking forward to seeing our Hawks come out and play well. Play as a team focused!

Always compete! Be all in and get this win! I want to see the team that I know is there that can win on all sides of the ball! One things for sure we fans will show up! We will be loud and we will support! Always love and support and loyalty for our team! Go Hawks!

Let’s do this!! FYI pregame good luck ritual accomplished this morning! We got on the right ferry are at the right bar, we have done our part! Here we go Hawks!!! Let’s do this!!!!

#Everyday2015

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Procrastination and Ovewhelmed

02 Monday Nov 2015

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Bartending, Family, Massage Therapy, Organization, Working Mom

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Bartending, Focus, Massage Therapy, Overwhelmed, Procrastination

77-Dont-Be-OverwhelmedHappy Monday! I have had a lot on my brain today. I am feeling overwhelmed and want to get a handle on my life! I need to get into a weight loss program, I need to organize my house and plan menus and just get ahold of this stuff. Some days I feel so under control and “with it” but other days I feel so out of control and overwhelmed that I will never get a handle on it! I need to figure out how to make enough money to take pressure off of our budget but also take pressure off of my mom schedule! Some days I don’t know if this is even possible.

My plan so far is to look at my massage income and see if there is a way I can make it work for me to only do massage and/or adjust my bar schedule to interfere less with family life. I need to make about $2000 a month. I don’t know exactly where I am at with the bar income since I just put my tips in a safe to save for later for when we ac tally purchase a car (or when my current car needs work). I am at about $1000 (or just under for massage work lately). The tricky thing is I HATE CONFRONTATION. Asking for a raise or talking to the bar owners about changing my schedule is confrontation to me and I don’t know if I can handle it, but what choice do I have? Tomorrow I will go into the bar and talk to the scheduling owner about what I want and need my schedule to look like and let her know just where I am at with this job. Then I will work on a proposal to My Chiropractor that I work for to see if I can adjust my percentage or switch to being a sub contractor paying rent. I also am going to look into offering Couples Massage Classes and other types of classes to market and/or draw in supplemental income as well.

I have a lot going on and I am feeling overwhelmed and it is my job to take care of me and get what I want out of life. Right now I need to, together with my family figure out what will work for all of us! This is the hardest thing to do right now. I always feel bad making myself a priority when it comes to making someone else life harder, like my employers ect… But I have to make myself and my family a priority. I may need to make a decision that leaves my employers without me. But what is happening now is I am leaving my family with out me instead. I want my family to have me and I want to help financially as well. I have a lot to figure out. My family has a lot to figure out! The Hub’s and I need to sit and chat and we will but what is hard is to look at not only money and not only time with the family and our feelings of what we want. We have to look at the big picture and make sacrifices in every area and balance wants and needs. We ultimately need to be happy with the decision and right now I am not happy with where I am right now, I have happy moments but overall I am not happy. I miss my family and I don’t even have time to get a pedicure or better yet escape for a weekend away and use this extra money I am bringing in!

Tonight,Procrastination I kind of have wasted the time worrying and procrastinating the work that needs done. Workout, meal planning, grocery list making….. none of it happened! Duck me I am so frustrated I know what I need to do but I don’t do it. Self sabotage at it’s finest! Fuck Fuck Fuck! Well, at least I got my writing done… wish I got paid for this… How do I do that?!

#Everyday2015

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Crazy Mind to Remember Things

15 Friday May 2015

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be You, Drinks

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Focus, Goals, Love

It is late on Thursday night of Bartending school week. I have been at school in Seattle which, with traffic has been a minimum of an hour and a half commute each way. I have learned I hate the commute and I am glad I don’t have to do it every day and that my husband doesn’t either! That is brutal.

I have learned around 175 drinks and shots. Different ways to combine ingredients and ways to think about the drinks and the drink names. We have a lot of sayings and my crazy brain and way of thinking for me to remember them. So I am going to share a few of my faves here. Just so I can use this post to study and let you into my head. Probably the only one who will “get” this post is someone who has gone to the Bartending school or trained to be a bartender and/or had my instructor or my instructor herself, but I hope you get a bit of a laugh! So here goes my list of Things I have learned in Bartending School that have taught me some yummy beverages that hopefully will make me a buck one day!

Drinks

I have learned everything from a vantage old-fashioned and other high ball drinks like the Cuba Libra if you haven’t watch the movie Cocktail this will be funny, look it up 😉

What do Screw Stone and Ball have in common? Orange Juice

White: Cream

Grapefruits grow by the Sea apparently and think Vitamin “sea” when making a Sea Breeze which is a Vodka Cran with Grapefruit

Pineapples apparently grow by the bay because a Bay Breeze is Vodka Cran with Grapefruit Juice.

Madras is a vodka cran with orange juice. All week I have been thinking this drink is called “angry orange” Angry Orange is red… and then it morphed into Sex on the Beach minus the peach…. Sex on the Beach is Vodka Cran OJ and peach schnapps

Melon ball is a green screw driver so you add Midori to the Vodka and O.J.

Nuts & Berries is Two nuts and Cream Fangelico, Chambord, and cream

I remember Mud slide by thinking and Irishman falls down for White Russians who have Bailey’s…or something it is a White Russian with Bailey’s

Black Russian, White Russian, Colorado and a Root beer float start with a Black russian add cream and make it a white Russian Add Coke makes it a Colorado Bulldog add Galliano and make it a Root beer float…How do I know where to start? What do Russians Drink?

Dirty Mother? Beats her Kids (Brandy and Kahlua)

There are a bunch of Collins’s (liquor+Sweet and Sour+Soda)

Tom is Gay he drinks Gin

Joe is Straight he drinks Scotch

John is bi he like Bourbon

Joan is a Bitch and drinks brandy

Exotics have great numonics or acronims…or play with letters whatever that is (my brain is fried) for example:

Mai Tai and Zombie are RATS+

Mai Tai: RATS Punch Mice

Zombie: RATS Owe 151

Singapore Sling Good Girls Suck Cock Slowly…Gin Grenadine Sweet & Sour, Soda, Cherry or Black Berry Brandy

Fog Cutter: Bad Gas Ruins Oral Sex. Brandy Gin Rum OJ Sw&So

Blue Hawaiian is easy but I stuggle remembering Rich Boys Smoke Pot

Bahama Mama Rich Malibu Old Penis Good

B52 KBG like KGB just different order

Blow Job 2 nuts and cream Bailey’s Amaretto Frangelico

Red Headed sluts shop at JC Penney’s Jager, Peach Schnapps and Cranberry

Surfer on Acid: the red headed slut’s boy friend from malibu: Jager, Malibu, Pineapple

Rob Roy is a scottish guy

Dry vermooth = Olive

Sweet vermooth = cherry

Perfect+ both vermooth and lemon twist

Don’t forget the triple sec…I forget the triple sec in Lemon drops because I have never made them that way at home and at home I have made a lot of Lemon Drops. I also have been forgetting to sugar rims or salt rims or forgetting sweet and sour…or picking up bottles in the wrong hand facing the wrong direction. Where did this one come from? Where was that one on the rack? No, not pineapple! Sweet and sour is in the green carafe!…..I may be getting a bit nervous, time to go study it has been a busy week and I would hate to fail the test tomorrow or just let my brain explode. Hope you got a bit of a laugh and remember these are all ways I remember certain drinks please don’t take anything personal or get mad at my cursing! Have a great night I will serve your drink with a smile and the correct Garnish…if not I will make you think I did 🙂 Fake it till you make it!

#Everyday2015

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Stay In The Moment

12 Tuesday May 2015

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Be You, Do Your Thing, Washing Clothes

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ADD, Focus, Goals

Happy Monday after Mother’s Day! I hope everyone had a great weekend. I did. I have been trying to enjoy the moments in my life a bit more. As I get super busy and overwhelmed I realized that I need to back off of my Facebook time! It is stealing minutes and hours and sometimes days of my life. I go to look up something like what time is Suzy’s party this weekend and get distracted with everyone’s status updates and before I know it I have been sitting in my garage after dropping off my kids at school for 45 minutes and I have to be somewhere in 15! So now I am running late and still haven’t figured out what time Suzy’s party is this weekend! Which means I haven’t called a babysitter and will have to look it up and probably do the same thing later! Ignore the noiseHave I told you I have ADD? So I am working at being more specific with my time and staying more focused.

Focus and Follow through are the things I struggle with the most! I always have great intentions and good ideas but I either forget or I think about them when I am driving or lying in bed and can’t do anything about them. What I should do is write it down and look at the list I make the next day or some specified time to follow through.

Also need to stop procrastinating. I tend to procrastinate a lot of things. Things that might be hard or uncomfortable or that I think will be hard or uncomfortable. However I am really productive under pressure! Even when it is something important or something I want to do, I put it off and then the ‘deadline’ gets close or even as time goes by I start to feel the pressure and then and only then do I get the drive to focus and do it. It is that ‘hyper focus’ phase of ADD, yes this is a real thing! It is so frustrating!

Biggest lieAnyway I am going to take this Sex Love and Washing Clothes moment to Focus and follow through! Write lists and follow them! PRIORITIZE!!! That is a big struggle for me is prioritization! I need to get in exercise, my blog and cleaning my house during the days I need to get volunteer stuff accomplished and I need to work, I need me time and husband time and kids time and fun time…But what is the most important? Who the Fuck knows?! Facebook and social media is not on that list. Facebook time is nice but I need to limit that, so that I can get the above stuff accomplished!

Here’s to looking ‘up’ more than looking down at the phone! Today I started bartending school (the reason I have not posted this earlier) so here is to studying all these drink recipes! Have a great day everyone!

#Everyday2015

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Sex Love and Washing Clothes

Sex Love and Washing Clothes
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