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Tag Archives: Life is Hard

It’s Up To You

24 Tuesday Jul 2018

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in #Everyday2015, Be Present, Be You, Connection, Live in the Moment, Reboot, Sex

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Be Happy, It's a choice, Life is good, Life is Hard, Love the life you live

Happiness is a choiceIt has been a while since I have written. There are many reasons, the obvious or easy answer is I have been busy. The real answer is I haven’t felt that I can be honest or real and that is tragic in this blog. I have not been what I would call happy. I have missed writing and I feel like getting away from writing has separated me from some of my feelings, honestly. It has bee hard in the Earl household lately. The Hubs and I have struggled. I believe we are getting back on the right track however. When I started this in 2015 I vowed to Sex Love and Washing Clothes everyday (#everyday2015). I was writing this blog to help teach women that being just a mom and wife was okay and to give purpose to myself, so I created Sex Love and Washing Clothes. It superficially helped my relationship back in 2015, gave the Hubs what he desired (more sex) and gave me purpose in my writing ans sharing my story with others like myself who needed to feel whole and were “just a mom.” Well, part way into that year I went back to work because I wanted to help our family afford a new car and help take pressure off the Hubs for the whole financial liability. So I went from being a stay at home mom to being a working mom and at one point I was working two jobs. To say the least the focus of my purpose got lost. It took a turn away from the original purpose and life got in the way…

I still did Sex Love and Washing Clothes everyday in 2015. In 2016 we kept it up pretty well and then I went into private practice and had many struggles to stay happy in our relationship. We spent 2017 trying to figure out how our family could survive with my being in private practice and decided I should work from home. So in 2018 I have been working my private practice from home and starting to feel settled and good together again. It has been rough. Many days I have thought about just giving up and writing a divorce blog. But we are stubborn and won’t give up that easily. Which brings me here today. Writing for me has been to justify my feelings and process my emotions. I just bought the book by Daniel Goleman called Emotional Intelligence. I am familiar with Emotional Intelligence and it is very important to understand that it comes from within.

In relationships understanding your emotions, where they come from and the fact that you are solely responsible for them is a valuable lesson. What you do with your emotions is on you. Being happy makes you more desirable and makes more people want to be with you. You have to own your happiness. Your partner can contribute to that happiness but they cannot provide that happiness, it’s a hard lesson sometimes to learn but once learned both people in a relationship can take their happiness to the next level. I am ready for the next level. Let’s do this and see what kind of sex comes out of it… I am ready to get back to writing about the crazy things in life and inspiring lovers to take it to the next level!

We are looking forward to changing our ways and living happy! Join us friends, it’s a choice come along with our journey!

#Change2018

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Plan Focus Give Grace

26 Sunday Feb 2017

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Cleaning, Connection, Family, Friends, Homemaker, Live in the Moment, Marriage is work, Organization, Parenting, Planning, Raising Kids, Schedule, Working Mom

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Faimily, Focus, Give grace!, give yourself grace, Grace, Life is Hard, Live, Love, Make a plan, stick to it

Hello Readers,

I have to confess, I have had a rough go lately. The Hubs and I have been struggling. It’s hard for me to write encouraging posts when I don’t feel so positive it is hard for me to write positive without feeling like a fake. So, with that said, I am feeling more positive, I know that I may be having some sort of depression or anxiety and need to pay attention and not get lost in it. I am going to be going back to counseling on my own and I will be checking in with my GP about some tummy issues I’ve been having, to keep my health a priority and take care of me. As a person, as a mom, as a wife and a health care provider it is hard to serve in your roll if you feel down and ineffective. Like they say it is impossible to serve from an empty vessel.

empty-vesselIn my life in the last week I have had some clarity of mind to realize I need to focus on me. Not in a selfish way where you are “more important” than your family, that you are charged with taking care of, but in a way to be the healthiest you so your family can have a healthy mom, healthy wife and your clients can have a healthy provider coming from a place of love and caring. I have been so bogged down with stress in life that I am complaining a lot, offended easily and my brain gets flooded and I get angry easily. So much so that I don’t really recognize myself and then when the hubs and I get into “special moments” I feel like I turn into some monster that is not me! Then it spirals out of control! So I am taking control of me. Part of that is me getting back into blogging here. I want to encourage people who are or have been in my spot. Also it helps me to get my feelings out and helps me to help guide myself in a positive way, not just my readers. Plus entertaining readers with my Hump Day Challenges is a passion of mine that I have missed the last few weeks.

Another part is getting back to my life. I have been working a lot and losing site of what really matters. My work matters but there is a balance that needs to be heeded. A balance of working in my business (doing massage) as well as working on my business (admin stuff like billing and marketing). I love networking for marketing and I have a lot of friends that I network with but that networking time needs to be just that and sometimes the balance of networking and socializing line blurs and loses potency.

So to deter the blurred lines of friend time and networking time I plan to be more active in my life with friends. We all struggle balance with work and fun but it is important to stay in touch with your “people”. You know, the ones who can figure out your drunk text typos and actually answer or support you in those moments! So one part of this gaining balance and getting back to me is scheduling girlfriend time as well as date nights and family nights! All three is important as important as work time.

Another part is planning house work time. This is harder for me because really, who wants to do the bull shit tasks of cooking, cleaning and grocery shopping? Especially after work and taxiing around the kids after a full day of work? But if you ignore it or don’t plan it you end up with those “special moments” with the Hubs that no one really wants! So this next sentence is very important, You must plan with your family! Everyone in the family has a responsibility  for how the house runs! The Hubs and I have had some conversations on this and although we haven’t really planned it all out, we have made huge gains in this area. The Hubs has started helping with dishes and putting laundry away. There is much to be said about a person who actually steps up to handle the things that they hate not being done versus just complaining about it! So: MAKE A FAMILY PLAN ABOUT HOW YOUR HOUSE WILL BE RAN AND EVERYONE CONTRIBUTE! Talk about it and follow through.

So to sum up this long post:

  1. Take care of you if that means going to the doctor, counselor, journaling, exercising, What ever it is, make time!! My plan get back to counseling, exercise everyday (at least cardio), get to doctor about tummy issues, have grace with myself when I am overwhelmed!
  2. Schedule and stick to it you work and admin time in your business! My plan just get it admin and massage time on the books and don’t waiver regardless of the client and their schedule, make my schedule and family time as important as theirs. Balance!
  3. Schedule Date nights, family nights and time with “your people” My plan: Schedule girlfriend time once a month, Date nights weekly and actually go, Family nights or outings weekly
  4. Schedule House work and responsibilities! Everyone has a responsibility to participate it is not all on mom regardless if mom is a working mom stay at home. We need to teach our kids they have to contribute as well as the husbands. Talk about it and make a plan! My Plan: schedule family menu planning meetings, utilize Clicklist with preplanned menus. Give kids chores and follow through with them to do it on schedule before practices and dance.
  5. GIVE GRACE! Let everyone have a little grace with heavy stress load times of homework, busy work days and heavily scheduled tournaments or competitions. Everyone is trying hard to motivate through life! We all want what’s best for our family and ourselves and sometimes we need to take a nap instead of vacuum! As long as we are all doing our best when our family needs help lets lend a helping hand they will do the same for you when you need! Help each other out to get to the goal and enjoy the good moments like the tournament wins and realize sometimes those things come when the house is messy, but when those moments are over and we have down time we can catch up when we need to! As long as there is not mold growing on the dishes and the house isn’t burning down and there is a dance to watch or a game going on…take it in! Enjoy these busy crazy moments building a lives, growing children into adults, growing a business and creating a life! Make it happy!!!

Live the life you’ve imagined because remember in your dreams you saw the results not the work that it takes to get there! FOCUS on what is important. Family, friends, lives, and moments are important! Money and dishes and laundry will go away savor moments with your people!!!

#Live2017

 

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You Need You

01 Tuesday Mar 2016

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be You, Do You, Family, Homemaker, Kids, Live in the Moment, Mom Stuff, Respect, Self Care, Working Mom

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Anxiety, Be Realistic, Life is Hard, Love you, Low Self Esteem, You are good enough!

Today felt like a very productive day! Happy Tuesday! I had a massage worked on getting some paperwork stuff taken care of and I went grocery shopping! For the first time in a while I went grocery shopping, have planned meals for the week and feel like I can really get this whole working mom thing done!

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The power went out all over town tonight because of the wind and crazy weather here in town. Which kind of thwarted my plans to get some more shit accomplished around the house. I was going to try to get the pantry organized. The house has been clean-ish and I am not super behind on the other chores, laundry is even partially caught up. (Time to get a house cleaner hired tobget the deep cleaning, that I don’t have time for, done.) Thanks to the kids doing the chores of folding clothes when I tell them to. I finally feel like I have a plan and a schedule or at least I am getting stuff done! I am feeling happy about that and after the last few days I have needed a boost!

Sometimes we all just have to put our nose to grind and get our work done. Just getting up from the couch and doing dishes, laundry and cleaning up after meals are cooked and consumed. And sometimes you have to realize when you are doing or expecting too much! I was doing too much before I quit at the bar! I now have more time to get meals done and meals cleaned up (maybe one day the Hubs and/or the kids will help with that) and this week, I even had time to grocery shop for a real week of groceries! My massage schedule is a bit slow this week compared to last week though, so there is a bit of a delicate balance and trade off!

Being a successful mom is hard. Being a working mom is hard. Being both is hard. Knowing how to define “successful mom” is really, impossible. We all have expectations and desires. Those of us with lower self esteem and insecurities and anxiety struggle defining success because we are always trying to be better because we think we are not good enough! We are perfectionists. Well, we are good enough! Our children are breathing, our house isn’t burning down. Our husbands bellies are full and later our vaginas will be! That is success my friends. Try not to over expect things of yourself you are doing so much and that hour you spent watching HGTV or Say Yes To The Dress was well deserved and even more, much needed! We are raising our future, we want our children to have it better than us! Let’s teach our children to be realistic and honest with themselves! We cannot do it all, most of us cannot afford a house nanny that will do everything June Cleaver did and we need energy to help with homework, to clean house, take a shower and fuck our partner at night! We can’t do everything and not feel bitter!

So, don’t over extend yourself, your family needs you! You, need you. Be kind to yourself, always do your best! I promise you are good enough, teach your family that! If they don’t tell you, I guarantee, they know it!
Love yourself!

#Recomitt2016

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Fun Times and Needing to Plan!

06 Sunday Dec 2015

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Baseball, Cleaning, Dance, Football, Organization, Planning, Running, Schedule, Seahawks, Self Care

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Being a Home Maker and Working Mom, Life is Hard, Plan to get organized, Stay at Home mom, Working Mom

What a fun day! Today was the tree lighting festival in our town! The Girl’s dance team always performs at it. Their studio is down on the Main Street through downtown and they have giant windows in the front studio. So they perform in their studio and we watch from the sidewalk outside. It’s like watching them in a snow globe. It is a fun performance! So we got to see her dance twice today!

The boy started winter baseball camp this morning too! He was very excited to get up early on a Saturday and go play baseball. He and I were going to do the Jingle Bell 5k but when he was going to baseball it was so rainy be decided he didn’t want to. Which I was glad because I had a late night and a rough morning!

We had the volunteer banquet for Pee Wee Football. It was a lot of fun. It got over at 11 and then we went to one of the coach’s house for an after party. They have a fire pit so we sat around the fire and told stories and laughed…. and drank…

It was a blast but like I said made waking up this morning a bit rough and I needed Alieve! I basically lost my motivation to go running not to mention I needed to clean the house as we are having people over for the game tomorrow. Seahawk’s Party!!!! I used the running time to nap! I know bad excuse but, I needed to take care of myself and not beat myself up about it! I did need some time to relax!

I will get back into running and do races again, soon! Just as soon as I get a handle on life. With work and kids and husband responsibilities it has been rough for me to get a handle on balance and house work and scheduling exercise healthy eating and sometimes even grocery shopping! I was feeling like I almost got a handle on how to be a stay at home mom/homemaker, but still didn’t have it.

image

And now, I am trying to figure out this whole working mom/homemaker thing and I have no fucking idea!!! I am trying I know I need to make better plans and schedules but when do I have time to plan out and schedule that planning time? One of these days I will get it… Or the kids will graduate or we will retire…it might take me that long!

I just got a breakfast casserole put it in the crock pot for tomorrow’s early game. Now I am going to go snuggle my husband and we have our ritual pregame sex to do and some more cleaning to do and he is sleeping through the F1 race on DVR that we were watching…. Oh well he needs a nap before we get it on!

#Everyday2015

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Live, Laugh, Love Today

12 Thursday Nov 2015

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Be Present, Live in the Moment

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Be You, Life is Hard, Live In The Moment, Live Laugh Love, Live the life you love, Love the life you live

quotes-life20Life is a gift. The people in our life are gifts. Stop taking your life for granted and live in the moment and enjoy it. Tomorrow is not promised and will be different. Enjoy tomorrow too, but don’t forget about today in thinking, dreaming or worrying about tomorrow. Today, right now, is the only thing promised. Live in this moment and take it all in!

We get caught up in planning and logistics and forget to enjoy life. We are all doing a lot, there is a lot on our plates we have to cook meals, clean house, go to work, call clients, follow up on that go to the doctor, exercise, eat right pick up the kids from practice coach their team. So much to do such a long list! But there are so many moments that if you blink you will never get back. Stop being sad these moments are passing, start enjoying them. Live in the moment love and laugh and just be in that moment!

#Everyday2015

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Trying to Hang In and Stay Motivated and Motivating

28 Wednesday Oct 2015

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Live in the Moment, Mom Stuff, Take the time to take care of yourself, Working Mom

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Crazy Mom Head, Life is Hard, Mom stuff, Working Mom

I started this blog to inspire moms. To accept being themselves and to do their best for their husband and families and for themselves, but I am not sure that I even believe my bull shit anymore! I have been working so hard, trying so hard and doing so much and I still feel like I am waiting for approval from someone, mostly my husband. Why isn’t me knowing what I need and my family needs and providing that not enough? I am still looking for approval from my husband and/or others around me…
I just need someone to lift me up in life sometimes. It is a tough thing to be strong in the outside but feel weak on the inside and the people on the outside can’t see your inside..

image

Just keep swimming. Chin up the sun will come out tomorrow!

#Everyday2015

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Why I didn’t Post Yesterday

16 Friday Oct 2015

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Marriage is hard, Marriage is work

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Be Positive, Bumpy Road, Life is Hard, We will Come Out of This Better

Once I got time to blog:

image

Life is hard sometimes. And sometimes I need to stay in my real life moment and can’t stop and sometimes like yesterday I couldn’t be positive and got washed up in negativity so I didn’t post. That was probably a good thing!!

#Everyday2015

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That’s Called Life You See

01 Thursday Oct 2015

Posted by Sex Love and Washing Clothes in Live life, Marriage is work, Parenting, Raising Kids

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ATSV, Cadillac, Life is Hard, Never Ahead, No Time to Rest, Saab, Stress

Today was a rough one! Between the aftermath of yesterday and the new events of today and my car being in the shop and the reality that we have to pay for it tomorrow… Just a rough day in this thing called life!

The kids were at home with a babysitter and were in the hot tub then when it was time for them tonight then cover down they didn’t know how and reefed on it and broke the cover lifter and ripped the hot tub cover! Babysitter never called to ask for help or direction. It is frustrating to leave your kids at home with a sitter and not know what is going to be broken when you get back. She nor the kids never called to ask for help. That is why I have a cell phone! So frustrating.

image

My car is finished in the shop tomorrow. A new clutch, fly wheel and thermostat that they noticed was leaking when they torn it all apart. I just hope they fixed it right! It will be nice to have my car back I missed her! I love the truck but really I prefer to drive my Saab. Just $3000+ and it will good as new I hope! Just in time for us to get a new ATSV… Typical, you put a grip of money in a car just to buy a new one!

But all of this, that’s life. It sucks sometimes. Everything you do to make sure everything is taken care of and then something breaks and it isn’t even your fault, just your bill.

Stress management… That is the lesson of the day!

#Everyday2015

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