Vacation for Me talk Health


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Happy Monday SLWC-ers! This post is coming to you from our rented Hertz Hendrick SS Camaro. The Hubs and I are road tripping to visit a friend today. We took our family on vacation to see their Grandparents and we have friends who live a few hours away. Everytime we come to the in-laws we always consider this road trip but have never done it. Since we’re all in quarantine and can’t do much anyway we figured this is the best trip to road trip it.

What I have noticed about this vacation so far is that I really needed it. It is no secret I have not been doing well with this whole quaratine thing! I am surrounded by people who I don’t feel really understand what I am lacking and why I am so off kilter. When you go from seeing and connecting with people everyday to only seeing your family it affects you, and for me it has been a negative affect. For some it has been super positive, they are living their best life and are dreading going back to “normal” that’s just not me. We are all trying to figure out how to manage I this new circumstance and in reality maybe they do understand and I don’t understand them? Or we don’t know how to communicate this right now. What I do know is that they love me and I love them and I am going to work to bridge this gap as I believe it exists in a lot of places I. Our world right now. The word is acceptance, of others and ourselves. As well as acceptance of not knowing or understanding and not being okay.

Moral of the story today is that I want to encourage you to live your best life. First, take a step back and figure out what you need. That is way easier said than done, but it is essential! I kind of needed this shut down in a way, I was burnt out and I needed a reset. I needed time to slow down and figure out what I needed. I need connection. For me I get connection from human contact and human touch. I kind of suck at text message or phone call relationships be it business or personal, it is hard for me to not see touch or feel a person’s presence. I need touch and eye contact. I feel whole with connection and that connection is not made without touch. I have seen friends and we do the nod, or wave and it pains me to not connect with a hug or hand shake. So I have learned I need touch.

Second, make sure the ones you love know what it is you need. If you need touch or eye contact, to hear their voice or be in the same place (6 feet apart of you have to) tell them! It took me over a month of the stay at home order to figure out why I was going so crazy. It hit me one day that I am so used to being so intimate and connected to people, even in the professional level of therapeutic massage, that my whole life relies on that. There have been multiple studies on this but if you work with inadamant objects like computers or refrigerators you may not understand half of what people who normal work with people are missing in life in the stay at home order. My point here in this paragraph started as tell those around about this so they understand where you are coming from.

Your people need to know that you know what you need. I want to tell you, it’s okay if it’s not what your partner or rest of your family needs and it makes communication even more important. I still struggle with this. I know I need human connection but how do I tell my family and how do I get that when we are in quaratine and social distancing orders? And when I say that and they look at me like I’m speaking Greek how do I explain more? The answer is, you don’t. Stop trying to justify yourself. So instead of explaining and justifying to those around you that you think don’t understand you, accept yourself. It’s okay if they do t understand,now they know what you need. Tell them what you need and leave it at that. I need human connection. I need hugs and hand shakes. I need face to face in person connection with people. I thrive at being the highlight of a person’s day, which is why I became a Massage Therapist. It feeds my sole to help someone get out of pain and be able to manage their life better with less pain. These are my why’s of doing my job. I have accepted that and it’s my job to be sure to make that happen in my life. That is part of me taking care of me. The tough part is for the last 8 weeks, I haven’t been able to do that.

Taking this vacation was so much needed for me. I needed to get out of my head where I was upset with myself for not feeling good enough for not being able to feel good. I have struggled, why isn’t this life good enough? Our family is blessed that The Hubs still has his job and we have been able to save money not going out that all our bills are paid and we have even put money away in savings during this time. We are blessed so many people are so much in a harder place. So why am I struggle so hard? Stop judging yourself! Human connection is a real need. I’m not getting as much as I was before and that’s the missing link. Taking this vacation I have been better able to stop judging myself and stop hating on myself. I’m not killing my side hustle sales business and the house is not spotless and I’m not a steller homeschooler, I don’t even know if my kids are really doing school some days. On vacation, here, I have been able to let that shit go! I have been able to look at my kids who are healthy and young who should be enjoying life as much as learning. They will never get this young age back again. They should be seeing their mom take care of herself in a way that she wants them to take care of themselves when they grow up. That’s my job right now. With this vacation I have been able to reset myself. Kind of hit the reboot for my brain. To look at what’s important and guess what ( sorry for saying this Hubs) chores being done, dinner on the perfectly set table, kids studiously learning and not fighting, everything in its place, is not really the most important. The most important thing is what’s going on in our heads. Do we love ourselves? Do we love what we have? Are we appreciating eachother? Are we taking care of what we need in our own lives? Are we allowing the ones around us to do the same? That is what is important!

So, forget the fucking dishes, go to bed early and fuck like bunnies. Teach the kids life lessons like how to change the oil in your car or change a tire when you can’t figure out how to help with math. Do something you all enjoy and enjoy each othermaybe take a walk.

Manage your me talk health. Exercise is the most underused medication for mental health. Mental health is just that how well are we mentally? Can we handle our emotions? Me talk health isn’t always being happy,it is handling life when we are sad or frustrated or not getting everything we want or need and knowing how to go about making it right. Talk about your feelings,good and bad they are all okay there are healthy ways to ha dle all of our emotions!

It’s the people that matter in life most of all the person who you are ultimately responsible is you. Make your self happy and you will see the world opens up! Take a vacation if you can it’s easier to see yourself.





Hello SLWC-ers!

What day is it? It’s Wednesday, hump day challenge day! Happy Hump Day Challenge Day!!! So today’s Hump Day Challenge comes to you via inspiration I got when I was driving to see our friends the other day. They live about an hour away and on the way the Hubs were listening to Vivid radio on the SiriusXM radio. They were talking about an article in Cosmo about multiple orgasms! She referred to it as “More-gasms” not sure how to spell that! Anyway, tonight’s hump day challenge is to have Moregasmsn! Never had it? Well prepare to be amazed! You see women’s bodies are primed and prepped to be able to have multiples, we don’t need time to regenerate and get ready to go again we can just keep going and going. Did you not know that? Well, yes, it is a thing!

So tonight, you will need to know the 5 things cosmo says I’m going to list them here and you can read the whole article here. I’m going to try to make this post short so you can get to your moregasms! You will also need a man who is patient and loves to see you in ecstasy!

Multiple Os

Here are the 5 tips summarized and Ruby-ized

1. Be open minded to having multiples. If you leave the option open and don’t expect the orgasm to be the finale it will open you up for the possibility. It is important to relax and accept more. Just be you, relax and enjoy! Make sure you man knows what his task is, multiple orgasms for you and don’t worry, he will get his reward at the end.

2.  Kegals. Strong kegal muscles help lead to not only pleasurable sexual experiences in general but to the possibility of multiple orgasms. Do some keglas right now to help prep yourself to be ready! (Your lover will enjoy them when you do them during sex too.) Training your kegals regularly will help you strengthen your pelvic floor muscles and increase enjoyment of your man while inside you when you squeeze down on him too. The key is not only strong muscles but blood flow as well, keep it flowing!

3. Foreplay, especially oral sex. Have him make out with your pussy. Focus on that clitoris  but take breaks by licking around your vagina in all directions, lick around and suck on the labia and change directions to give that clit a break as you get closer to climax and then dive back in on that beautiful clit and then break again. This will be training your body to get used to getting intense and close and giving a mini break and hit it strong again. Have him add in some fingers in your pussy too and even playing with some back door fingering or licking and then back to that clit with some added double penetration sometimes.

4. Take a break. When it gets intense and you get close and even after you cum take a short timeout, we all like to pull away and relax and cuddle after the big o but instead of pulling completely, just take a break. Give him a kiss and make out with him. If he knows you are working to have multiples he will enjoy getting some attention go down on him practice your oral on him when you have had enough of a break (just take a short one) lay him on his back keep sucking him off and put your vagina in his face to lick and kiss and make out with that pussy some more. Now you are on top and you have control. Rub your clit on his face(they love that). Remember, men don’t really have multiples so be careful not to take him too far with your mouth, before you come again and again. Keep him right on the edge and hard and you will be dripping wet and he will be lapping you up and loving every  single one of your O’s almost as much as you. This brings us right to  our last tip.

5. Pick your position wisely.  Being on top or maybe in doggy lets you have control to move away or closer. Also gives you access to that clit. Stimulating your clit is a great way to orgasm and for some women the only way to actually have an orgasm. Clitoral stimulation either by him or by yourself (don’t be shy guys like it when we touch ourselves) is a great way to achieve orgasm be it the first orgasm or the fifth! Ride the wave and keep it going as long as you want and/or as long as you can keep him hard and stimulated and hold him off from cumming.

When your ready to finish him off and give him his reward for loving you in such a way and letting you climax and cum so many times choose your favorite position and make sure it’s one he likes too, to give him an orgasm that will also get you off one last time. My preference is to end in missionary with the hubs on top driving his cock deep in my pussy while I play with my clit and we both come together at the same time. His cock is pulsing and I am squeezing my pussy kegal style on his cock when I get the biggest O of them all. 

So have Moregasms today. Be open minded to it! Relax and don’t force it but be ready and prepare for it! Head over to Cosmo and read that article for more details and enjoy some multiple orgasms and another night of #QuarantineSex

Quaratine Check In

Hello fans,

I’m kind of embarrassed that it has been so long! October is seriously that last time I wrote? Well, honestly there may have been a few others except I forgot to finish or post them. I miss writing everyday but there are only so many hours in a day! We are what 7 weeks or so into this, what I call quaratine, but it’s officially the “stay home stay safe” order. What the fuck ever! It’s fucking quarantine and it fucking sucks! I miss people. I have been trying to stay sane by posting on my real life Facebook page and have started a side hustle since my office is closed down. What I should have done is started getting into how to make money on my blog! Or just started blogging again! Writing is so freeing and relaxing and talking about sex makes me horny and being Ruby is an amazing escape from reality. Regardless I haven’t written but here I am tonight, a Tuesday night which used to be fucking date night but it’s turned into “what the fuck is today?” Tonight, we are watching drunk history (hilarious I highly recommend watching this show) and this has made me remember how I was so free when I was first starting in 2015. Before I went back to work and was worried about my reputation. Now, I technically don’t have work to go back to at the moment so, fuck it!

Anyway, I want to be serious for a moment. I am concerned about our mental health. I am going fucking crazy! I’m running everyday still, since July I have lost around 50 pounds due to my running and low carbing. During quarantine I have done a race a week I am super inspired when I’m running but when I’m not running…it’s been rough. I have had a short temper, been emotional and everything affects me so much my feeling s are fucking OUT OF CONTROL! Everything makes me feel so much! More than usual, it took me 5 weeks or so to realize part of it might be because I’m not working and getting connection to people the way I am used to, I am not seeing a lot of my friends. We have stayed connected to two of our friends which has saved our lives (at least mine, I need connections). I’m not going to get into political debates about if we should or should not be in quaratine and for how long. What I am saying is I am concerned about our collective mental health. Self care is important and many of us have realized that our choice self care activities are not what the government has deemed “non-essential” examples are gym time, yoga, movie night, dancing with our friends, singing karaoke and having drinks on a Friday night…

This is a problem! But I’m not going to spend this blog post complaining or getting high on my soap box. I’m going to spend this blog saying I miss blogging! I miss writing and cussing a lot in my writing, I also miss writing about sex and fucking everyday! In 2015 we started this #everday2015 it’s 2020 let be who we are stop trying to impress stop working so hard for people to like you, stop trying to censor yourself. Be who you are, love that person and find people who love that person and spend time with them! Well once Quarantine is over find those people spend time with those people and love them.

In the meantime, I hope you are enjoying your family and enjoying your lover! How many times in one day have you had sex? What is your max? I want to say we are upwards of 5 or so for one particular day/24 hours span. Yes I want you to take that as a challenge! I think that may have been the weekend the Hubs and I had a turning point where we went from almost killing each other every other to being able to live together in quarantine without fighting over everything and fighting so hard that we said horrible things. We have since that amazing sex weekend, slowed down, understood each other more, listened to eachbother more judged each other less and life has been a little easier. All because of sex. Good sex makes life more tolerable! That is what we learned in 2015 do you remember that? I do! So go have good sex with each other and let’s get through this quarantine! We all have feelings and emotions and they are all OK! It’s okay to not be okay and it’s okay to have sex even when we’re not okay! It’s a good emotional release! Be kind to each other. Give your lover the things they like. Spend a little extra time making them feel good they will return the favor and your relationship will thrice for it! Also, turn your mind off during sex! I promise you can! Figure it out and that is the most freeing thing int he world.

Keep having sex everyday, multiple times a day! Because what else can you do? Just go fuck!


XXX-Glass Hump Day-XXX


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So, it’s been a while since I have been here writing regularly. Life has gotten in the way! It is my hopes I can come back at least once a week from here out but I’m making no promises. Thank you to those readers who are still reading and looking for new stuff from me! I appreciate you!

However, you know what today is right? It’s Wednesday which means Hump Day Challenge Day! I haven’t written in a long time and I feel like I may have lost my groove of being sexy and putting myself out there so I am going to try but please judge me with the eyes that I am a recovering prude (from childhood and it’s resurfacing since 2015) and little girl afraid to be judged! If you are here to judge this prudish scared girl, fuck you and please leave this site, only non judgmental people are allowed. Otherwise if you’re here for fun and excitement free from judgement, read on this will be fun.

The Hubs hasGlass butt plug been wanting me to try something for a while and I have resisted. He has been requesting that I get a glass butt plug. Yes this Ruby Earl is a recovering prude couldn’t get past her old prudish self, “Miss Just Do It and Don’t Judge” “the preacher of just enjoy and have fun, no holding back for fear. Everyone struggles with those thoughts and fears. Ok, maybe it’s just me, we are all adults here, sex is legal and it’s okay to express yourself and love who you love and play with them in a way that makes you and them feel good. I have been trying to break out of that head space for a while and finally after a day of watching football and spending time friends and a few heavily poured drinks the Hubs and I ventured out to the sex store to check out glass toys. As we drove there my mind wondered to glass blown art then I thought and said out loud, “I want a dildo with raised ribs spiraling around it” The Hubs slyly smiled and said “I’m sure they make those” He was proud of me embracing the idea of this. Long story short (shocking) we bought both! Then played when we got home. The temperature, the weight and the spirally ribbing as well as the smooth feeling of the gspiral dildolass were the highlights for me. We played with both, and I have an idea for another challenge for another day but let’s stick to one thing at a time.

What’s nice about glass is that it’s dishwasher safe so you can just pop it in the dishwasher when your done and it will be clean and sanitized for your next use. (Or just use soap and hot water) For real, Glass sex toys don’t shatter if dropped (this was my biggest fear, the material is similar to Pyrex) and they all have a hypoallergenic, non-porous surface; the most hygienic of any material. They have more weight than a standard sex toy boosting sexual pleasure. Glass is really nice there are many options for extra stimulation like the spirally ribbing around the shaft, some even have bumps or dots that also help give a different sensation when inserted. Go ahead give them a try it will not disappoint you.

So the challenge today is to play with a glass toy go out and pick one with your lover or if you know what they would like surprise them with a new one when you come home from work. If you don’t have access to a new glass toy, is to try something new, a new location, a new position or try role playing and talk about what you would do with a glass toy with you partner while you have you nightly sex session. Think of something your partner has been requesting for a while or something you have been curious about. Don’t let you inner prude hold you back and be respectful of theirs. Let go of the previous conceived notions you have, maybe you have been judged in the past or heard a friend or family member talk trash about it or have your own pre-judgements on it. I can tell you from experience it’s worth a try. Give it the old college try, wink wink. Just relax and have sex! That’s what this is about!



I want love

I want to show love

I want my kids to know love

I want to love myself that is my biggest struggle

How can I feel love from someone else of I can’t love myself?

This struggle is real for me it’s what I struggle with the most.

No words of wisdom today just venting about what I want and what I believe the word needs…the answer is LOVE

It’s the Hubs’ birthday!!! We had steak and I bought a cheesecake! Yes, this Ruby, bought a cheesecake. I went to our fave restaurant in town and picked up a full cheesecake. I’m really struggling with this whole working mom thing especially with balance. I miss having time to bake and decorate a cake for the hubs on his birthday!

Today I met with two lovely ladies who are owners of a gum exoandi g in my neighborhood. They are looking for a massage therapist to partner with them and rent space in their new location. I think they are great people. I love the idea of their vibe. I love the idea of working with other health minded wellness focused people. I think working in their gym would be a good thing for my fitness and wellness. I have struggled with depression lately. Getting out if the house and working with people might be helpful. Can I balance work and home life without working from home. Could I do

New Start, Old Beginning


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I titled today’s entry before I started to write. Normally I write and then pick a title. Today I have decided to start new, but it is an old beginning. I have had this beginning a lot. The I’m tired of fucking it up and want to get back on track. It has been a while since I have sat down to write. I have been busy doing what feels like spinning my wheels. I started blogging back in 2015 as a stay at home mom who was trying to encourage tried and weiry moms that it’s okay to “just be a mom” but shortly into 2015 I went back to work because well, our family needed the financial help and because I wanted to be more than “just a mom”. Sort of felt and still feels a little hypocritical. Old beginning because well, I have been here so many times before.Don't be afraid

I had a mission with this blog to help moms and dads stay in their marriage. At the time the Hubs and I had great sex but a rocky relationship. There were many times we kept our relationship together with just great sex. There was a lot left to be desired in our lives. We had communication issues that we were working on, as many busy parents with busy children have. We were and still are today stretched very thin! Sex was the one thing we could do that we both enjoyed without having to have much discussion and when I decided to have sex everyday in 2015 the Hubs was thrilled at the thought of not having to wonder when the next time he was going to get it. For the most part 2015 worked really well. The first part of 2016 was pretty good to but towards the end of that year it was a struggle. I had decided to move into private practice with my massage career and spent a lot of time working on my business which caused a lot of strain between the Hubs and I. That year ended really badly. I try not to say things are bad but at that time things were bad. I had felt like a fraud like I had wrote this blog all of 2015 and most of 2016 oh how to keep things together and make my marriage work and my plan had failed.  We were falling apart, it was almost the end of us. We decided to stay together, to work through our stuff and then another new old beginning.

Then 2017 went on rebuilding I decided to move my private practice home. The best of both worlds right? Well towards the end of 2017 another event happened that strained our relationship. Different but just as much of a strain and then that was almost the demise of us all of the struggles of 2016 came back in flashbacks and sorrow and just plain struggle. All the while we still maintained weekly date nights and tried to do the best we could with nightly sex and connecting but there were parts of both of us that were just unconnected, bitter and angry. We were also both remorseful for our roles in the fallout. We were sorry we were sad and missed each other like we had been on two separate continents! So decided to put it all behind us and onto another new but old beginning.

Then the start of 2018 we decided once again, we are here for the long haul. There is something to be said for two stubborn people being married and valuing their commitment made to each other! We have stayed our course through many very, oh so bumpy stretch of road the last few years. Maybe it’s maturity and maybe we are finally starting to “get” each other and fully commit to respect and love and cherish each other, it finally feels like we are moving on and getting over some of the same struggles we kept coming back to. Now, here in 2019 we can go weeks without fights. We even can have a spat and let it go with out dragging it on for hours or days and not resulting in the using the “D” word. We don’t have sex everyday but when we do it is good for both of us! I am considering a new #everyday challenge but I don’t want it to become a job again. In 2015 it was good, 2016 it was feeling more like a job and 2017 was just bad and 2018 the theme was “what happened to 2015?” But here in 2019 we are enjoying each other more, respecting each other more, loving each other more and having sex with each other more. Yes 2019 is still young and fresh and new but we are getting back to us! It has taken a while but we are doing well!

So that’s where the New Start, Old Beginning is, maybe it’s not such an old beginning, maybe this one is new it just gets old starting over again. Still the same: I am still working on my weight issues, still trying to decide what to do with my practice. Agonizing everyday if I am making the right parenting decisions and trying to convince the Hubs to get a dog and go house shopping or renovate ours. We have a lot to be happy about there is a lot going on here! As I sit back and look at things, I think why didn’t we just keep going with 2015? We got busy. Life gets crazy. Maybe we even got lazy or went on auto pilot. You can’t just sit back and let life take you where you want to go. Because unless you are driving the car it has a mind of it’s own and this girl wants to drive the direction I want to. The direction that will take my family in the right direction. For me, For the Hubs and for the kids. I am not a fan of this Old Beginning lets have a new beginning, start over on a new path!

One big thing I have struggled with is deciding what makes me tick. What do I want? I have spent so many years taking care of my family as a mom that I don’t even know what I want. I know I was insanely happy in the stroller days of my kids. Being able to load them in the stroller and go for a run. We would go pick up groceries in the stroller my house was not clean and my kids were very giddy and happy all the time. I can’t have those days back but I want that happiness back. Do I need to run more? Not worry about cleaning as much? I have started the Marie Kondu method but I just did my closets but now I’ve got to do my whole house.

So this year I want to find my passion. I love massage but it gives me stress billing and being a business owner, so can that really be my passion? I love to workout and exercise especially running and doing races but that doesn’t make me money to help with finances. I love and miss dancing but finances and time? I love to sing! I have spent more time singing karaoke and not missing the chance to sing than anything, how can I do that more? I miss writing here in my blog! I miss the words flowing really easily (can you tell?)

I told the boy yesterday that he had to decide to work hard when he is in a game. It is a conscious choice you have to make. Get up and grind and work hard but for me I struggle with that. So many different hats that I wear I struggle deciding where to put that effort. Not to mention I have ADD which does not help. This is my goal, this is my passion for this year, to find my passion and live it to the fullest! Doing it all while loving, taking care of and protecting my family. Balancing work life: growing a business, family life: getting everyone where they need to be when they need to be there, feeding them healthy meals and communicating all of that to the Hubs to get help from him and then not forgetting to cultivate our relationship in communication as well as sexualization. I want us to be happy these last few years before the kids leave us and give our kids a happy healthy place to live.

Is it doable? I believe so I will take you along on this journey this year and I will keep writing as this helps me process my thoughts and helps me stay positive. And gives me accountability! There may be things I have to let go of being in control of and getting my way but come with me this year on this journey and watch me win! One way or another!

Oh and by the way I turn 40 this year so there is a sense of urgency to show up and be me and know who “Me” is but not lose my family in the process. This will be no old beginning this is a fresh start to new beginnings, hard work and grind yes but love and laughter and passion to be found in this new beginning. In the process I will not let the hard work wear me down. I will not take the easy way out like I have in all the old beginnings. It’s hard, I won’t stop until I am where I want to be!


Volunteerism is Dead and I am out of cares…



The world needs dreamers who doI miss having time! When my kids were young I had all the time in the world and rushed everything. Now they are teenagers the Girl is a Freshman, just had her first Homecoming the Boy is 12 in Middle School and is going from School baseball to football practice 3 days a week. The days we don’t have a schedule we are running around filling in the stuff we don’t have time for and still don’t have time to get groceries or cook real food.

The organizations my kids are involved in are all volunteer and it seems the spirit of volunteerism is gone. It seems I am the one who sees that and the one who will do what needs to be done. It’s frustrating to be the only one who care about the organization and then more than that the only one who will actually do the work that needs done. At the sacrifice of my family. I am working for the organization to succeed and thrive and while I am doing that my family struggles. Why? Because I refuse to do a bad job at the work that is done but I feel like the work that is getting done isn’t really the best and get judged by those around (who aren’t doing as much work) that it is disorganized and incomplete. I can’t do it all. Why doesn’t anyone want to help? Why am I the one who has to stay late every night finishing. Why am I the only one who cares? It is so frustrating. Why am I putting this much effort into something my son will only be involved in for one more year? What do I get out of it?

Nothing the answer is nothing. The others in the organization that are not focused on the big picture all they want to do it what is fun and here I am grinding out the hard stuff. I said I would never do this job. It’s too labor intensive it takes me away from my family. The Hubs helps but complains all the way and then we end up exhausted at the end of Saturday instead of celebrating a win and a great game for our son we colapse at 11pm once we finally get home! I am frustrated.

I miss time for me. I miss jumping up in the morning ready to go to the gym. Now I wake up thinking, I should wash the dishes and do laundry before I go. Then I secretly want he grocery store open at 5 am so I can do groceries then and have food in the house and not have to interrupt my schedule of work, volunteering, work and more volunteering. I have cleaning and organizing to do for volunteering job today that didn’t get done at 10:30 pm Saturday when we finished up. My plan was to put a plan in place and have helpers be able to do it without me there. But there is no one willing to do that work. My gut is about to quit and say obviously no one cares so why should I?

It’s about the kids but is it really? I am going to have to do some sole searching on this right now. With the lack of help from the others in the organization to do the tough stuff not just the sit behind a keyboard or text message thread making decisions of who get that kid or the other… All I want is to make sure the kids are safe with gear and  supplies I don’t want to loose my family running the business for the club and that is about how I feel this is going to end. Why is the spirit of volunteerism dead? And why do people pick and choose what they want to do and leave the hard stuff to people like me who actually care about it and will do the work….


It’s Up To You


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Happiness is a choiceIt has been a while since I have written. There are many reasons, the obvious or easy answer is I have been busy. The real answer is I haven’t felt that I can be honest or real and that is tragic in this blog. I have not been what I would call happy. I have missed writing and I feel like getting away from writing has separated me from some of my feelings, honestly. It has bee hard in the Earl household lately. The Hubs and I have struggled. I believe we are getting back on the right track however. When I started this in 2015 I vowed to Sex Love and Washing Clothes everyday (#everyday2015). I was writing this blog to help teach women that being just a mom and wife was okay and to give purpose to myself, so I created Sex Love and Washing Clothes. It superficially helped my relationship back in 2015, gave the Hubs what he desired (more sex) and gave me purpose in my writing ans sharing my story with others like myself who needed to feel whole and were “just a mom.” Well, part way into that year I went back to work because I wanted to help our family afford a new car and help take pressure off the Hubs for the whole financial liability. So I went from being a stay at home mom to being a working mom and at one point I was working two jobs. To say the least the focus of my purpose got lost. It took a turn away from the original purpose and life got in the way…

I still did Sex Love and Washing Clothes everyday in 2015. In 2016 we kept it up pretty well and then I went into private practice and had many struggles to stay happy in our relationship. We spent 2017 trying to figure out how our family could survive with my being in private practice and decided I should work from home. So in 2018 I have been working my private practice from home and starting to feel settled and good together again. It has been rough. Many days I have thought about just giving up and writing a divorce blog. But we are stubborn and won’t give up that easily. Which brings me here today. Writing for me has been to justify my feelings and process my emotions. I just bought the book by Daniel Goleman called Emotional Intelligence. I am familiar with Emotional Intelligence and it is very important to understand that it comes from within.

In relationships understanding your emotions, where they come from and the fact that you are solely responsible for them is a valuable lesson. What you do with your emotions is on you. Being happy makes you more desirable and makes more people want to be with you. You have to own your happiness. Your partner can contribute to that happiness but they cannot provide that happiness, it’s a hard lesson sometimes to learn but once learned both people in a relationship can take their happiness to the next level. I am ready for the next level. Let’s do this and see what kind of sex comes out of it… I am ready to get back to writing about the crazy things in life and inspiring lovers to take it to the next level!

We are looking forward to changing our ways and living happy! Join us friends, it’s a choice come along with our journey!


Porn vs Plot


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couple watching porn

It’s late but we need a Hump Day Challenge. It’s tough because the Hubs is gone right now. I have struggled with Hump Day Challenges lately. Our lives have been busy and the relationship is tough when you feel overwhelmed and stressed and that makes sex tough. When I started this blog it was to capitalize on our great sex to ground our marriage in. But lately the great sex is not coming as easy, our kids are getting older, staying up later (our bedrooms are in a line) they are more interested in what we are doing and they are busy multiple sports competitions and involved in school projects etc. Makes a sex life tricky! So many excuses! So here we go Ruby it’s time to get help. I pulled out my drawer in my night stand and saw my superhotsex deck by Tracey Cox. It’s a deck of cards (flash card size) that have suggestions of sexual session topics. Very interesting and detailed! Use tools like this to spice up your sex life! Don’t be shy get open minded and let down those walls of judgement!

Today I drew randomly and pulled a “lust lessons and fantasies” card titled Porn Versus Plot. I have written a few Porn and Poking Hump Day Challenges so this is the direction we are going to go again. If you have your own pull those out and put them in the DVD or Blue Ray player or whatever device you use. Some people have a subscription to a magazine or website or others use free sites such as Pick one a motion picture version. Male fantasies tends to be more direct up close and getting it on very visual focused on the act of sex and the physicalness they usually don’t care what the people look like as long as they see dick and pussy or even up close girl on girl. Women on the other hand usually prefer at least a little bit of plot and romance and pretty people. They want to see a hot guy come up and be romantic watch him licking her pussy and other tantalizing pleasurable fore play actions, where as the men typically gravitate right to the sex.

My challenge to you is to grab your laptop or pull up your videos on the big screen if you prefer, and find your favorite scene. Scrolling through a website works well for this because you have the thumbnails to preview what your clicking on. Watch a few scenes feel free to click away if you land on one that you don’t like. (If your new to porn it will be when you both get warmed up and stop feeling weirded out by this exercise) Choose what you like. If the site you are on has a section for categories it may be easy to pick out one. Each of you pick your favorite category and possibly your favorite video. Note to the opposite partner the videos she/he chooses are what turns her/him on, so take notes on what you see and what you hear for future reference.

My suggestion is you both choose a video once you get enough of each others decide on one, maybe one of the same you chose or pick a new clip to watch and copy what you see or at least start to copy what you see. Maybe he starts going down on her and he goes down on you then you take off on your own sexcapade! The sexual energy you will feel from the movie and each other should be enough to take you through your whole sex session into a very fulfilling orgasm. You may not make it that far you might want to watch a few less warm up videos, use your judgement.

Remember to relax. If something comes up that makes you or your partner uncomfortable, turn it off because it’s not for you. Don’t ever pressure your partner to do or see things that make them uncomfortable! If you like it and your partner is cringing…still, turn it off! Talk about it later but tonight is for you and your partner to have fun and use the fantasy aspect of watching porn and figure out what you like. Maybe you will learn a new technique. Don’t be judgmental, if people in the movie are doing things you don’t like, don’t judge your partner for liking that, maybe they can teach you how to like it so be a little open minded but be honest with each other. Communication is important. Don’t get pissed at your man for getting turned on by two hot girls with one man. Just because he enjoys the fantasy on the screen does not me he is going to to act it out later, nor is she fellas! Trust is important porn can be used as a very good foreplay tool if you let it.

So go have some fun take your time and enjoy each other as you play voyeur and see what you like and play out some of those fantasies in real life!

Go fuck and be merry!