Today may have been the first day, all summer, that I had a full shopping trip at Costco. So yeah I dropped almost 4 bills for groceries today. But now the fridge is stocked and we can eat every meal at home (however I probably should have bought more eggs, oops). When I got home from the store I had to weight for the garbage truck to move out of my driveway, but I then cleaned out and organized my freezer. I did not scrub the bottom but I picked up all the crumbs and random french fries that were there from some weird science type experiment that my kids did one day probably 2 years ago. I filled up a trash bag full of old food and things that needed to be thrown away from freezer burn or that I just neglected to toss out before, and of course this was right after the garbage truck left. That garbage can is going to be ripe next week!
Today I also went back to my counselor for the first time since the end of April. Since before I got busy at the massage office and before I started bartending. I sort of reflected on the summer and updated him with my life and what has been going on. We talked about how in the time that I have been seeing him (over the past few years), I have gone back and forth about being a stay at home mom and being a working mom. Similar to how my blog has gone this year. It was a very eye opening visit. It gave me a lot of perspective. I think he was surprised I am still doing my blog. The way it has shifted and changed and evolved but also stayed the same is similar to my adult life. Very interesting insight today.
A friend of mine said to me the other day that I should pick what I want to do. Stay at home mom or work…I do go back and forth all the time with what is “right” and today in my visit I talked about this. I don’t think I have to, nor should I “pick one”. Once I pick one or the other that makes one the right way and the other the wrong way. I am so, sometimes too, focused on what I am supposed to do or what the right thing to do is and that makes what I do right and/or wrong, and I don’t want to be wrong, I want to be me. I need to do me!
In life there never really is a right or a wrong. So I think for me my focus needs to be to do me. Whatever that is in that moment some days it is one thing and others it is another. As always my life and everyone’s life is very dynamic. It is always evolving and changing. The one constant is change and I am working on living in the moment and loving every moment and accepting ME just where I am.