, ,

It is late on Thursday night of Bartending school week. I have been at school in Seattle which, with traffic has been a minimum of an hour and a half commute each way. I have learned I hate the commute and I am glad I don’t have to do it every day and that my husband doesn’t either! That is brutal.

I have learned around 175 drinks and shots. Different ways to combine ingredients and ways to think about the drinks and the drink names. We have a lot of sayings and my crazy brain and way of thinking for me to remember them. So I am going to share a few of my faves here. Just so I can use this post to study and let you into my head. Probably the only one who will “get” this post is someone who has gone to the Bartending school or trained to be a bartender and/or had my instructor or my instructor herself, but I hope you get a bit of a laugh! So here goes my list of Things I have learned in Bartending School that have taught me some yummy beverages that hopefully will make me a buck one day!


I have learned everything from a vantage old-fashioned and other high ball drinks like the Cuba Libra if you haven’t watch the movie Cocktail this will be funny, look it up 😉

What do Screw Stone and Ball have in common? Orange Juice

White: Cream

Grapefruits grow by the Sea apparently and think Vitamin “sea” when making a Sea Breeze which is a Vodka Cran with Grapefruit

Pineapples apparently grow by the bay because a Bay Breeze is Vodka Cran with Grapefruit Juice.

Madras is a vodka cran with orange juice. All week I have been thinking this drink is called “angry orange” Angry Orange is red… and then it morphed into Sex on the Beach minus the peach…. Sex on the Beach is Vodka Cran OJ and peach schnapps

Melon ball is a green screw driver so you add Midori to the Vodka and O.J.

Nuts & Berries is Two nuts and Cream Fangelico, Chambord, and cream

I remember Mud slide by thinking and Irishman falls down for White Russians who have Bailey’s…or something it is a White Russian with Bailey’s

Black Russian, White Russian, Colorado and a Root beer float start with a Black russian add cream and make it a white Russian Add Coke makes it a Colorado Bulldog add Galliano and make it a Root beer float…How do I know where to start? What do Russians Drink?

Dirty Mother? Beats her Kids (Brandy and Kahlua)

There are a bunch of Collins’s (liquor+Sweet and Sour+Soda)

Tom is Gay he drinks Gin

Joe is Straight he drinks Scotch

John is bi he like Bourbon

Joan is a Bitch and drinks brandy

Exotics have great numonics or acronims…or play with letters whatever that is (my brain is fried) for example:

Mai Tai and Zombie are RATS+

Mai Tai: RATS Punch Mice

Zombie: RATS Owe 151

Singapore Sling Good Girls Suck Cock Slowly…Gin Grenadine Sweet & Sour, Soda, Cherry or Black Berry Brandy

Fog Cutter: Bad Gas Ruins Oral Sex. Brandy Gin Rum OJ Sw&So

Blue Hawaiian is easy but I stuggle remembering Rich Boys Smoke Pot

Bahama Mama Rich Malibu Old Penis Good

B52 KBG like KGB just different order

Blow Job 2 nuts and cream Bailey’s Amaretto Frangelico

Red Headed sluts shop at JC Penney’s Jager, Peach Schnapps and Cranberry

Surfer on Acid: the red headed slut’s boy friend from malibu: Jager, Malibu, Pineapple

Rob Roy is a scottish guy

Dry vermooth = Olive

Sweet vermooth = cherry

Perfect+ both vermooth and lemon twist

Don’t forget the triple sec…I forget the triple sec in Lemon drops because I have never made them that way at home and at home I have made a lot of Lemon Drops. I also have been forgetting to sugar rims or salt rims or forgetting sweet and sour…or picking up bottles in the wrong hand facing the wrong direction. Where did this one come from? Where was that one on the rack? No, not pineapple! Sweet and sour is in the green carafe!…..I may be getting a bit nervous, time to go study it has been a busy week and I would hate to fail the test tomorrow or just let my brain explode. Hope you got a bit of a laugh and remember these are all ways I remember certain drinks please don’t take anything personal or get mad at my cursing! Have a great night I will serve your drink with a smile and the correct Garnish…if not I will make you think I did 🙂 Fake it till you make it!